Chapter 6

I had made up my mind to get Dieter back.

There was a God after-all and in this case her name was Mom. She called from home.

“Paulie, I have something to ask you!”

“Yes, Mom?.”

“Paulie, dear, I need a favour!”

“Yes, Mom. if it’s money, joining ‘hug a tree today’ or if its’s saving the tadpoles’ in Lake Erie; forget it.”

“No, dear, but those are some things I’ll look into later. Do you remember Erica, Erica Sorenson?”

“Like little, scrawny Erica that lives next door?”

“Yes, dear. She is not little or scrawny any more and ‘we’ have a problem”? (We again, from her too).”

“OK! What’s is ‘our’ problem?”

“Well, dear, her mother and father have not been, mmm, not been getting along well and Erica has sort of been coming over here or going to the Club with me a lot. You know she could have gone to the Olympics if she wanted. She was every bit as good as that Mary or Marie something from East somewhere.”

“You mean Maria Sharapova, from Russia in tennis?”

“Whatever, well Erica is even better. You know she is in love with you, a mother knows.”

“Mom she is nine years old.”

“Paulie, how long since you saw her.”

“MMM. Seven or so XXX years.” I mumbled.

“Well she not nine anymore and she is not ‘little’. If what she wears at the pool is any indication, she is no longer scrawny either. Every time she comes over here she asks about you, stares at your pictures and sighs a lot. Anybody can see she wishes you were around. Anyway she needs a ‘date’ for the Prom and I just thought you might want to help your poor old mother out and be her date.”

“Gee, Mom, it’s just bad timing. but I think I just got a ‘wife to be’ recently, been meaning to tell you.”

“And just when was this and who is the ‘lucky’ bride to be?”

“If you must know, it was last week in Monaco. It is Diane again. Don’t say it, she is not the same girl as before. She has changed.” Silence. More Silence. “Wait a second mom, I’ll put her on. Di, come speak to your future mother in law again.”

Ginny picked up. “She’s in the shower, be right out she said.”

“Paulie, who was that?”

Maybe this was not such a good idea. Then I thought of Dieter.

“Mom, can you email me a recent snap of her, I have a friend right there in Gross Point Woods who might be perfect for the little minx.” My revenge was now possibly going to happen.

“If you would check you email, I already sent you some.”

I opened AOL and sure enough, a message from Mom. Attached were some JPEG’s. I opened one up and WOW!

The others were getting better and better. Monique came by and gave me a kiss and said Diane would be right out. She wanted to look good for your mom.

“Monique, it’s a telephone call! Tell her. It’s not NBC wanting to interview her on TV.”

“K. Hi, Mom “ she said and scampered away.”

“And who was that?”

“Mom, I see what you mean, she is gorgeous.” Just about that time Diane walked in still wet and sans much else.

“Who is that and who were you calling gorgeous? Think carefully with your big head before you answer, and it better start off with Diane. Hi, Mom! Guess what? Your son finally got smart.”

“Hello, dear, I guess congratulations are in order. I thought Paulie said you were already married.”

“Alas, poor Claus is no more. He fell and died while skiing. He ‘Whoosed instead of Shushed’. Actually, he was not a bad guy. We never really should have gotten married, though. I guess Paul and I are going to do it better this time. Who’s the babe in the bikini?”

“That’s Erica. She is an old family friend.”

“She doesn’t exactly look that old in this picture.”

Time to save this ballgame.

“That’s why Mom called. I had not told her about our happy news. Erica is like a sister. She has been our neighbor since she was a little girl.”

Diane placed her hands on her own substantial breasts and extended them out, and mouthing, ‘that long huh’.

“Erica needs a date... , an escort, really ... that’s when I thought of Dieter. He’s single, right? And unless you know something I don’t, he likes girls, right?’’

“Well if the Pope in Rome is Catholic, then yes he does. Sandwiched between a dozen PA’s around the world and 17,000 business trips I’m sure he has thought about sleeping or going out in the 4 or 5 hours in the day he has for such things, he just works?”