Chapter 41

Dear Willow,

What to say, what to say? I guess that studying the many different problems that humanity has caused itself in the diaspora; the number of women and children that are abandoned by their sponsor (through no particular fault of his except not considering that they are (especially the women) property that must be willed away, because the Confederacy AI's will not let them walk around without a sponsor) when he dies. I know you didn't want to think about it, but if you didn't, and goodness forbid both you and Erica were to die then they would be alone in a very hostile environment.

I had thought that your family would be left quite some way behind the battlefront yet you said you were going to a contested planet. Can you explain that further? Do I need to worry that (even if I can do nothing about it... ) your family will fall victim to the predations of the Sa'arm? Then on top of that someone talking about charging the Sa'arm? What sort of officer do they have in charge there? I know you have to be quiet and let him get killed but still don't let him think for you. What I mean by that is that you must think about what happens on the battlefield, be ready to rally those nearest you, and with the way the Sa'arm fight be ready to call retreat when there is no one else left to do it.

I agree with you that tanks and swamps don't seem to mix. Then again I would imagine that the Sa'arm are busy filling in the shallowest parts with whatever soil they can move ... So I imagine that one thing that can stymie their advances is to make sure that the channels stay open and that the soil stays saturated with water. In this case the greatest ally you have is the swamp. How to use it to your advantage while using tanks is a question that I don't have any good ideas of how to answer :(

Well now that I've expressed my worry for you, I'll get back to my life. I did (somewhat to my surprise) get promoted to Signifer. Thinking about the Murphy clan, I'm minded of the storied history of the Emerald Isle of our ancestors. We the Irish have often been driven from our land and once more it appears that the wild geese have flown. Some of us chose to go, some were chosen, but we have once more flown from our home. Now it is up to us to drive the invaders back to whatever hell they came from.

I guess that I'm being a bit maudlin, Beth came in and asked why I would lead Lily around on a leash but not her. I asked if that was something she wanted me to do. She didn't. But she did want more of my attention. I guess that in one way Lily's leash is her way of saying that she needs a lot of someone's attention. I have to think about that ... she shouldn't be able to demand more of my attention than the rest of the women, yet she does. Ron has been picking up the slack with most of the other women but Beth, Katy and Lily especially seem to have attached themselves to me. Not that Marissa, Holly and Dana aren't very special too, but even though Dana is carrying my second set of twins she doesn't seem as close to me as she does to Marissa and Beth. Often I find that Katy has dragged Marissa back to my bed, or that Beth has brought Katy. I would have thought that with the way that Lily often desires my undivided attention that she would have refused to share my bed at all. But when the others are there she graciously vacates unless she brings Dana, or even Ron. For such a tiny thing she is an absolute sexual dynamo.

At first I thought that I'd have trouble having Ron in my bed. After my VIOLATION by the male sponsor I wasn't at all sure I could deal positively with him, or any other man in a sexual way. But he rolled over and asked if I wanted to beat him or fuck him. That broke me. I cried a lot then. When I stopped, everyone, even Ron was touching me, almost petting me, or holding tight to an arm, leg or trying their best to pile on me to let me know that they were there for me. It is (or maybe is not) strange that Ron likes to give head. It took a lot of effort on everyone's part to convince me that I should reciprocate. Sex with a guy is still pretty low on my list of things I like to do. But it is encouraging to see and feel how intensely he enjoys what I do. Neither of us are about to give up girls, and once we have some feeling on how babies are going to affect the household then we'll probably have him get Holly or Katy pregnant about six months after Lily gets her wish. Yeah we shouldn't let her dictate when anything in her life happens if she really is a slave as her collar and leash indicate. But as Marissa often says, it is very difficult to deny our little elf anything she desires, even when we know that we should say no to her so that she will remember that we are in charge. The fact is that I'm afraid that Marissa and I are very lackadaisical as far as the idea of being actual owners of a pet like Lily is concerned.