Chapter 122

Dear Louisa,

I'm upset that I made Brianna cry. I'm not sure why I shared things with her that I would not have shared with anyone else. Maybe it was missing Master Will. Then again maybe it is because I hoped that sharing them would start to help me to overcome the areas of drag in my life.

All I'm certain of for now is that I no longer want to walk in fear where fear has no reign. Here on Atlantis-at that is true, that is that no one would dare molest me. Even my Master or Mistress could be called up on charges if I was seen to be badly damaged or if I was killed. Of course if the latter happened then I wouldn't be worried about having them up on charges. Except that by stopping them at the (hopefully) first victim they will be much less likely to have a second victim.

But maybe I'm just dreaming because that is what my therapist says is the hope behind bringing people (sponsors, 'cause concubines aren't people) up on charges will work toward. Of course the colony service idea that the Governor has been putting in place should also ease some of the major friction between those who are sponsors and those who aren't.

That's because, while I have no wish to become a sponsor or for that matter to participate in the limited citizenship program, there are those who have one or the other as their goal. Therefore to stratify society so that they would be unable to have that outlet would be very dangerous at best. And I might add that most people will do things that they wouldn't otherwise do if they believe that doing those things will improve their lives. That is even true of me. Granted it took Master Will's disappearance to get me to focus on changing my life for the better.

I guess that I have to admit that until Master Will disappeared I really believed that my life was as good as it could get. After all I had a Master who indulged my fears, who didn't see me as a marker in some power game that only he could fathom and who was intensely interested in making sure that I felt safe out side the house and loved and pleasured in the house ... Though things did get intense in the street when one pod blew up with us almost in the no one survives beyond this point circle with regard to the explosion. Master Will pulled me to him then essentially covered my body with his as he went down first on his back so he didn't fall on me then rolled over so that I was under him. When he realized that he'd survived his cock was so hard I thought it would explode. And my pussy was so wet that you could have held a swim meet in it! Then I was tearing his pants open so that I could get him in me so that we could make a baby to celebrate the fact that we'd just survived what should have killed us.

That got Will a reprimand, but it made me realize that I belonged to him for life. Since he saved my life, I must serve him for the rest of my life. After all if the blast hadn't killed me waiting for medical help probably would have. As it was Will got quite a load of shrapnel in his back that he never mentioned to anyone as far as I know. Or at least he said nothing further than what was necessary to get his injuries treated.

I suppose that every man is a bit stubborn that way. That is that they pretend that they aren't hurt when they really are. I do know that Master Will spent some time in the med-tube when we stopped trying to make a baby to reaffirm that we were alive and had cheated that cruel relentless old tyrant, death, at least for that moment. Of course I must say that is often seems that the only victory we have in life is the short lived victory, one moment at a time, over the grim reaper.

I don't wish to be maudlin, but that last point has reminded me that I have other people besides Master Will who need my attention. Veronica is first, I hear her waking up and the house AI has said that she is uncomfortable. So I shall go and see to my daughter's needs, then I shall find the rest of my family and kiss them or hug them as their age may indicate. Then I shall kneel at Mistress Marissa's feet and kiss her kitty until she purrs.

At least that's my plan when I get done writing in the next moment or so.

Your sister, in bondage, if you will have me,

Lily Murphy