Chapter 35: Ain’t No Right

I stared at Shannon for a few long seconds as I heard Alana whisper “Ouch!” from behind me.

“Are you saying Pete was with another girl?” I asked, echoes of the grapevine still muddling my head.

“Yeah. She found him in one of the bedrooms, getting it on with some redhead girl.”

“Holy shit. Are you being serious?”

“I am, Matt,” Shannon said apologetically.

“Fuck. Where’s Lara now?”

“In my car. I’ve been trying to calm her down for the last five minutes. I need to get back up there, though. She’s all alone.” Shannon glanced at Alana. “I think we should head out for her sake.”

“Yeah, of course,” I agreed. “But where the fuck is Pete?”

“They all just left. He went with Brian’s brother. I sure hope he could drive, though.”

This is so fucked up.

“All right. Damn. We should go then,” I breathed, trying to make sense of the senseless. I glanced around the cabin and then eyed Shannon. “We’ll be up in a sec. Let me just clean up a bit. Tell Lara we’ll be right up.” I eyed her sadly. “And thanks, Shannon.”

She nodded grimly, said a quick goodbye to Alana, and left the cabin. I turned back to my erstwhile dance partners and sighed heavily.

“I guess we’re out of here.”

Alana smiled warmly, a little wistfully. “Yeah. It was great to see you again, dude. And you, Heather. I had a kick-ass time tonight. Thanks for dancing.”

“Sorry to cut it short,” Heather lamented as she finished sliding her jeans into place.

“Me too, babe,” Alana agreed. “But I’ll go find some old friends in the house. Don’t worry about me! And no need to clean up. I’ll take care of the bottles. Miss Ellie, at your service, remember? You should go be with Lara. Tell her goodbye from me, okay?”

“Thanks, Alana,” Heather said warmly. She started to take off the borrowed dress.

“Don’t worry about that,” Alana said, staying Heather’s hands. “Jonah said I could keep it, so I’m giving it to you. Enjoy it, Miss Ellie!”

Heather smiled impishly as she gave Alana a rather long hug. As Heather moved to put her shirt and sweater on over top of the dress, I gave Alana an embrace as well.

“Hope I see you both again sometime,” she murmured.

After grabbing our things, Heather and I quickly ascended the hill to the main house, finding Shannon’s car idling in the driveway. I tapped on the passenger window. Lara rolled it down a touch. Even in the darkness I could see that her face was extremely distraught.

“Lara, damn it. I can’t believe it.”

She said nothing.

“Let me grab my things and we’ll go, all right?”

She gave the faintest of nods.

I went inside with Heather. Together we made the single trip to collect my amplifier and gear bag. It took some time, though. The stage area was packed with partiers, now that the rest of the equipment was gone. Heather and I were forced to wade through a thick crowd, a difficult feat especially when carrying the amp. After stashing the gear in the trunk of Shannon’s car, we finally slipped into the back seat.

“What the hell happened?” I asked Lara, trying to keep the anger from my voice.

“I found Pete with another girl, that’s what happened,” she spat.

“What the fuck? I don’t get it.”

“Neither do I. And I don’t think I can talk about it right now.”

Heather put a comforting hand on Lara’s shoulder as we turned out of Jonah’s gated drive. Soon the trees began to flash past as Shannon drove down the empty roads. It was going to be a long ride home.

There was a bit of a conundrum. The original plan was to shower and don new clothes at Brian’s, clearing the smell of the party before we returned home. However, we found Brian’s brother’s truck at his house, so it seemed likely that Pete would be there with the rest of the guys.

“What are we going to do?” I asked, to no one in particular, as we idled at the entrance to Brian’s driveway.

“We could go to my house,” Shannon offered.

“Aren’t your parents there?”

“Yeah,” Shannon admitted. “Probably not a good plan. Uh, we could try Clara’s?”

“Really? At this hour?”

“She’s probably up reading or watching a movie. She doesn’t sleep much.”

“Still, that would be weird. We probably reek of pot.”

“I don’t know what to do, Matt,” Shannon murmured.

“I have an idea,” Heather announced. “Let us out, Shan.”

Shannon exited and folded her seat forward. I followed Heather out into the cold night.

“We need the clothes bag.”

“What are we doing?” I asked, as Shannon opened the trunk for her.

“We’re going to stick to the original plan, pretty much.”

I stared at her in the darkness. “Pete’s in there.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. It doesn’t affect us. We just need to get clean.”

“What about Lara? How is she going to change?”

“We’ll deal with her later.”

I huffed. “I don’t know what I might do if I see Pete right now.”

Heather took my arms and looked at me sincerely. Her face caught the flood light from Brian’s front porch, and my heart stuttered as I noticed twin trails of gray watercolor painted on her cheeks, connecting eye to jaw. Somewhere between Woodstock and here, Lara’s situation had caused a rupture in the black eyeliner that had so easily delimited such happy eyes an hour earlier.

“Matt, Lara needs you. Forget Pete. We need to get her home and be with her. If you see him, just ignore him.”

I nodded after a moment. This was our only option. I reached a finger to gently rub her cheek, but the streaks were dry.

“Forget that,” Heather whispered. “Let’s do this as quick as we can.”

I nodded. “We’ll be right back, Shan.”

When we reached the back door of the house, I heard voices inside. I took a breath and then quietly pushed inside. A dozen people from my school were hanging out. I scanned the room and found Bruno and Carl over in the corner talking to Pete, who was sitting on a stool drinking a beer. They didn’t notice our entrance. I got to Brian before he had a chance to spot me and yell out my name for all the world to hear, as was his wont.

“Sup, Bri,” I said softly.

He turned and grinned, either unaware of the events at Jonah’s or caring little about it. “Hey man!”

“I’m not staying, just here to clean up. We need to get home.”

Brian squinted at me. “What the fuck did you eat?”

“Huh?”

He then looked at Heather and frowned even further. “Are you okay?”

“Allergies,” Heather explained evenly.

“Oh, all right.” Brian shrugged, an appreciative smile spreading across his lips as he eyed Heather’s black lipstick. “Well, you know where the showers are.” He glanced at Heather. “You need a beer while you wait?”

“No. I need to shower too.”

Brian wiggled an eyebrow at me. “Have at it, guys.”

He turned back to Elaine and her friend, giving us no further attention as we slipped into the bathroom. When I looked in the mirror, I groaned. Heather let out an amused sniff as I wiped the black lipstick from my mouth.

“As much as I wish we were in here with a different situation, I think we should be quick,” Heather suggested.

I nodded as I set the water and disrobed. “Yeah. This has really killed my mood anyway. I can’t believe it. Pete, of all people, to pull something like this.”

Heather stepped into the shower. “It’s crazy. Lara did say that things were a little weird lately, though.”

“Yeah, but if you knew Pete, you wouldn’t believe that he’d do this. Lara is his first girlfriend. It took extreme effort to get him together with her. And Lara didn’t make it hard to start with.”

“Poor thing. Right after she made those pictures for him, too.”

I felt my heart squeeze in sadness. She was so excited about those.

“Damn. I forgot about that. I guess somehow she knew this was coming, though.”

“Maybe,” Heather murmured. “There was something she was worried about.”

“That must have been the worst feeling, to walk in on him with someone else.”

“Yeah. I can’t imagine what that would feel like.”

“All right, I’m clean enough. You ready?”

We hurried to dress in our fresh clothes. Out in the family room, everything was still like it was. As we made for the door, I looked over at the corner again. Pete looked right at me and I held his stare. My face hardened, despite my attempts to keep it even. He didn’t seem particularly upset, as the echoes of a laugh were still on his face, perhaps from something Carl had said. What a dick!

“Remember Lara!” I heard Heather whisper to me.

These words were enough to prevent me from turning my path toward Pete. In another moment we were back outside, so we piled into Shannon’s car again.

“What now?” I quietly asked Heather. I was too angry to think straight.

“Let’s see what’s going on back at the house.”

Shannon put the car in gear and we rode away in silence. When we arrived home, the adults were still active. I could see Mairead and Melissa standing in the kitchen, perhaps finishing a midnight snack. Sarah and the men were at the dining room table.

“Lara, is it okay if I go in there and tell them what’s going on?” Heather suggested. “And that you need to be alone for a bit?”

Lara sighed. “I guess that’s probably better than anything else.”

“Why don’t you and Matt go up to the cabin with the gear and I’ll meet you up there in a bit. Maybe you can grab a quick shower?”

“I guess.”

I gave Heather a grateful squeeze. I wasn’t sure if I was in a position to go in the house, what with the mix of anger, sadness, and intoxicants that I had in me. Heather had taken the hard job for herself, I knew.

Shannon helped me carry our stuff to the cabin, since Lara was in an understandably useless state. I urged Lara to clean up before it was too late. Once she’d closed herself into the bathroom, I gave Shannon a hug.

“Thanks for all your help.”

Shannon shook her head. “I didn’t do anything. I’m really feeling bad for her, though.”

“Were you there when she found him?”

“Pretty much. We were wandering the house, you know. Carl and Bruno were packing up to leave, and they hadn’t seen Pete for a long while. We were about to give up, but then Lara just started asking if anyone had seen the guitar player from her band. Finally someone pointed to one of the bedrooms. Lara walked in and there they were.”

“Like kissing, or fucking?”

“Kissing, groping. Looked like it was going, but not gone yet. I only saw them for a second before Pete jumped up like he’d been hit by lightning.”

“Motherfucker. I can’t believe it! Who was the girl?”

“I didn’t recognize her. Bright red hair.”

I considered. “Not Chelsea Connors?”

“No, not her. I’ve never seen this girl. Random party hookup, maybe?”

“I guess. Was he drunk?”

“Oh, definitely. He ran after us, but we couldn’t really hear anything until we got outside. He could barely get the words out straight anyway. Lara just smacked him as he tried to talk, and then she got into my car and locked herself in while Pete tried to explain to her through the glass.”

“Explain what?” I burst out. “What’s to explain?”

“He was saying how he’d messed up, you know, all that.”

I sighed. “Crazy. Never thought Pete would be the kind of guy to do this.”

“Drinking and smoking can make you do some weird stuff.”

I nodded solemnly, wondering what would’ve become of my night if Shannon hadn’t returned to the cabin when she had.

“Anyway, after a bit Pete gave up went back inside, so I got in my car to comfort her. A few minutes later I saw the guys load their stuff into the truck. I’m not totally sure, but I could’ve sworn I saw Pete throwing up before he got in. Then they took off.”

“Damn it. What an idiot.”

I strutted around the cabin with my head in a whorl of angry and sad thoughts. “Anyway, thanks for driving,” I finally said. “It was a good time, until the end.”

“Yeah. Sorry I had to bring you the bad news like that. It would’ve been fun to dance. Looked like you three were having a good time.”

“I guess.”

Shannon raised a brow at me. “Who put the black lipstick on you, by the way?”

I winced sheepishly. “Heather, of course.” I waved my hand vaguely. “She wanted to pretend to be Miss Ellie and things got a little, well, we were just dancing, you know.”

Shannon sniffed. “I won’t say anything ... wild man.”

Despite her tease, her words were heavy. I smiled sadly, but found that I had nothing to say.

“All right, I’m going to take off, if that’s cool with you,” she announced. “I’m starting to fade big time, and I still have to figure out how to get myself cleaned up.”

“You want to grab a shower here?”

“Nah. I don’t want to disturb Lara. Actually, I’ll probably hit Clara’s house. She’s really cool about things like this.”

“Really? Didn’t know this was your regular Saturday night deal. I thought you weren’t usually much of a partier.”

“I’m not,” Shannon said with a small smile. “But she doesn’t pass too many judgments. If I tell her I need a place to chill and hang for a bit, she’ll be happy for the company. I have a set or three of clothes there anyway.”

“Drive safe, Shannon. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I gave Shannon a parting hug. As she made her way back to the car, she passed Heather on the way and they said goodbye. A moment later, I pushed the door open so Heather could come into the warmth.

“Thanks,” she said, shaking off a shiver.

“How did it go?” I asked nervously, expecting a rush of concerned parents on her tail.

“Fine. No sweat. They’re all more buzzed than we are. But, sad to hear about Lara and Pete, of course.”

“Are my folks on their way up?”

“No. I told them Lara wanted to keep a low profile right now. They were completely understanding, though a bit worried, of course. Still, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone comes up in a while, so...”

“All right. Lara’s in the shower, obviously. You want to check on her?”

“I can do that. What about you?”

“I’ll just wait on the couch.”

“I’ll be out in a bit, Matt.”

She gave me a comforting kiss before sliding into the bathroom. I was left alone with my dark thoughts.

After some time, Melissa came up to the cabin.

“Hi Mom.”

“Hi Matt. Where’s Lara?”

“In the shower, trying to calm down. Heather is keeping her company.”

“Oh, okay. How is she?”

“Don’t really know. Obviously upset.”

“Yeah, of course. What a shame. What the heck got into Pete?”

“I don’t know,” I muttered. “Maybe he thought he was a rock star or something.”

“Rock star?”

“Yeah, now that the band—”

I suddenly realized I was being quite careless and had almost said something about the party. “You know, since the talent show went so well.”

“Was it a girl at your school?”

“I don’t really know.”

Melissa sighed. “Can I do anything?”

I looked at her, surprised that she was asking me such a question. “I’m just waiting for Lara at this point.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “Let me know she needs anything. I think probably we’ll be starting to go to bed soon.”

“I’ll let you know. Maybe, uh...”

“What?”

“Maybe Heather could stay in Lara’s room tonight? I don’t know, just to keep her company. Would that be all right?”

Melissa smiled warmly. “Of course, Matt. I’m sure she would appreciate that. If you want, you could even set up the cots and all three of you can camp out in her room, if that would help her feel better.”

“Oh, okay. I’ll see how Lara’s doing when she gets out.”

“Do whatever you need to do. I know you’ll be there for her.”

Melissa gave me a hug and then returned to the main house. I knocked on the bathroom door just as I heard the shower trickle to a stop. Heather opened the door slightly, giving me a small smile. Her eyes were sad, though.

“Parents are coming up soon,” I whispered.

Heather nodded and closed the door. I returned to the couch to stew again. Had Pete really just ruined the holiday for us? What was going to happen? I couldn’t imagine Lara still wanting to be in the band now. My gut was tight as I realized that the months of rehearsals and the euphoria of recent gigs were quickly being eroded away by Pete’s fucked up actions. I struggled to keep from cursing him. Maybe there was an explanation.

Lara eventually emerged from the bathroom. She looked at me with stricken eyes. Once I took her in an embrace, she started to cry uncontrollably.

“Lara...”

I held her for a while, as Heather caressed her back and shoulders in comfort.

“Let’s get you to your bed,” I said softly. “If you want, me and Heather can stay in your room tonight.”

Lara’s reply was hoarse, but touched with gratitude. “Really?”

“Yeah. Mom said it was cool.”

“Please. I really don’t want to be alone tonight.”

“You’re never alone, Lara.”

We were lying in the darkness in Lara’s room, Heather and I on two cots. Fatigue had forced us to get horizontal after sitting with Lara on her bed to keep her company and give what comfort we could. We’d settled into a reluctant silence when Lara spoke.

“You know what sucks the most?” Lara whispered.

“What?”

“I thought I had something real with Pete. I thought he was someone real. It wasn’t like with James, or like Ronnie. Me and Pete, we shared a lot of things, things I’ve only ever shared with the two of you. I let him in, you know? Made a connection ... That’s why I don’t get this whole thing. I thought he felt it too.”

“It is pretty strange,” Heather agreed.

“Wow, how lucky that I didn’t end up giving him those pictures after all. Can you imagine?”

“That would’ve sucked,” I said.

“Or maybe it would’ve stopped what happened. I don’t know. I still can’t believe it. These past few days, I thought I couldn’t get higher than I was. The talent show, the plotting with your surprise visit, Heather, then the photo shoot, and the party ... I was so high. Life was good. Then to see him there,” she spat, “with that girl ... It just makes no sense. I mean, Pete, who when I first kissed him was probably the most innocent kid in our school. How did he get to cheating on me like that? What did I do wrong?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” I soothed.

“I guess I knew something was a little weird lately. He was in a bit of a strange place, sometimes so into everything, and other times not interested in anything. But I thought it was just the excitement and nerves of the shows and stuff. I never thought he’d do this to me.”

Lara sighed heavily before continuing. “I don’t know. Maybe he was just drunk and didn’t even realize what he was doing. The music got to his head, or something. Maybe she tempted him, took advantage of him. Is there any excuse?”

“Unless you were allowed to see other people, then, no,” said Heather.

“We definitely didn’t have that agreement,” Lara stated.

“So he fucked up, then.”

“He fucked up,” I agreed.

“He fucked up,” Lara echoed with finality as the anger and despair flooded her voice. “Ugh. And now what the hell do I do? What about the band? What about everything we worked so fucking hard to build this year? Is it over? Or, should I just get over myself and forgive him? It was only a kiss. A drunken kiss, at that. Does that minute outweigh everything else, all the good things?”

“Depends if you can trust him again,” I suggested.

“I know. But that’s up to me, I guess.”

There was some silence.

“In the end, I feel like Pete’s a good guy,” Lara said. “We’ve all had our fuck-ups. Hell, if it wasn’t for people forgiving me, I’d be in a bad place too.”

She took some deep breaths. “Tomorrow I’m going to call him, talk it out, give him a chance to tell me what’s going on. I don’t want to let everything melt away just because of one mess up. I don’t think I can do that. I don’t want to do that.”

“And if he strays again?” I asked.

Lara laughed grimly. “I’ll rip his fucking balls off.”

I heard Heather chuckle beside me. “Forgiveness only goes so far.”

“Damn straight,” Lara agreed. “Shit, I need some sleep. I can’t even think. It must be really late.”

“Probably like three in the morning.”

“Ouch. You have to get up so early, Heather. I’m sorry I kept you both awake.”

“Nah, it’s cool. I can sleep in the car all day. Wish I didn’t have to go tomorrow, but I already tried to get out of it and stay here. No go. Still, I’ll be back in a few days.”

“We’ll be waiting,” Lara murmured. “I’m glad you came this weekend. Even with this bullshit with Pete, I’m really glad you’re here.”

“Me too,” I agreed.

“And now, let’s sleep,” Lara said. “Love you both.”

Heather’s departure was early and low-key. Since she was returning in a few days, it was not the difficult separation we usually faced. Still, by nine o’clock I was already feeling quite deflated. Even though Lara had a plan to let Pete have a second chance, I felt uneasy about the situation. Part of me wanted it to work out, so that the band and everything could continue as if nothing had happened. But I also partly wished that it would not work out, but the reasons for these latter thoughts were harder to pin down.

I wasted the day away with a book and some guitar practice. Sarah was on the slopes with Frej again, who apparently had done quite well on his first day and was eager for more. Though it would’ve been a good day to get the ski season started for me, I didn’t have the energy.

Lara escaped reality by immersing herself in a book. She wasn’t particularly interested in any further talk about Pete. In the afternoon, I decided to call Shannon. After updating her on Lara’s state, I got to the point.

“I could use your help with something.”

“What’s up?” she asked.

“Do you know if Clara celebrates Christmas?”

“Sure she does.”

“Cool. Then I could use a ride, if you don’t mind?”

A short time later when Shannon’s car announced its own arrival, I let Lara know I was going out. She waved sadly and returned to her book, rejecting the offer to accompany us.

“Long time no see,” Shannon said with a smile as I hopped into the shotgun seat.

“I know, right? Fucked up night.”

“Yeah. Murph’s, then?” she confirmed.

“Yup.”

“Cool. So nice of you to think of Clara.”

“Least I can do, for all the help she’s given me.”

At Murph’s, the man himself showed us the selection of frames and pre-cut mats for an eight-by-ten photo.

“Black or white mat?” I asked Shannon.

“White, I think.”

“White would be the usual pro choice,” Murph agreed. “Although, some prints can be enhanced by a black mat.”

“White,” Shannon repeated. “It will let the photo breathe.”

“And the frame? I’m liking this silvery-gray one.”

“Looks nice,” Shannon agreed.

“We have a winner,” I said to Murph. “We’ll take them.”

“Great! Anything else?” he asked.

“Might as well get some more film and paper, while I’m here.”

By the time Murph had rung me up, my wallet had lost some of its heft. Still, it was worth it. Shannon and I went to her house, where we used her dining room table to assemble the photo into the mat and frame. It took just a little tweaking, but the end result was quite sharp.