Chapter 32: The Riches

Part VI: Reflections

In photography, there is a reality so subtle that it becomes more real than reality
- A.S.

The talent show started out with Roy, who was quite an impressive singer. He was mixing a Bobby McFerrin-style a cappella solo with some comedy, and the audience was eating it up. We were scheduled to play in the fourth of six slots – one act had withdrawn – preceded by some kid doing magic and followed by Elaine’s brother. The evening’s other band, Green Space, was closing out the night.

Shannon materialized out of the darkness of the wing, dressed in a black skin-tight dance outfit that made her limbs look endlessly long and graceful. Her sweet smile seemed to light up the darkness.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

“Pretty good, I have to say!” she chirped. “Wow, you look really cool in that suit, Matty!”

I tipped the hat down in jest. “Thanks. We’re like totally opposite dressed.”

“For now! We’ll match much better later when I get my white dress on. Hey, hold still for a sec.”

She placed a hand on my shoulder and then pushed her leg into a vertical split as a last-minute warm up.

“I can do that,” I deadpanned.

She grinned as she pushed her leg impossibly higher. “Oh yeah? Let’s see it.”

“Some other time. Anyway, I’m going to watch you dance from back here, because we need to move our stuff out behind the drop curtain right after you’re done.”

“That’s cool. You’ve seen this act a few times, anyway.”

“I wish I could see it from out front, though!”

The audience cheered loudly as Roy finished up his act.

“If I don’t see you after I’m done, good luck up there, Matty,” Shannon said over the din. She gave me a tight hug.

“You too.”

She glanced at Roy as he entered the wing after his bows. “Well, this is it,” she breathed.

“You’ll kill it, Shannon.”

She smiled warmly and got close to my ear. “See you after your set, wild man!”

After a moment, Shannon’s name was announced. She seemed to calm her body into complete stillness, fading out of my sight as the lights went off. A pregnant silence filled the theatre as she slipped out to the center of the stage in the near darkness. Her black-clad body was invisible as she struck her starting position. Only the lightness of her blonde hair caught the faint glow of red emergency-exit lighting and betrayed her presence to anyone with good eyesight.

After a dramatic pause, the fast pulsing sound of Electric Counterpoint started. A spotlight began to fade in, offering the first hint of her movement. I found the hairs on the back of my neck rising as she unfurled into the dance like a flower.

Bruno interrupted my transfixed enjoyment with a slap on the shoulder, stepping right in front of me.

“You ready, bro?” he asked rather loudly.

“Yeah. But I’m watching Shannon, man. Watch out!”

I waved an annoyed hand at him. He shrugged off.

I was familiar with Shannon’s piece, of course, but I’d only ever seen it through the lens of my photography project. Now, with no pieces of glass in the way, I could fully appreciate the grace of her movement and the imagination of her expression. She did beautifully. Part of me was worried that it wouldn’t be fully appreciated, though. Her dance wasn’t a showcase of pop moves, but rather a work of art.

My concern turned out to be misplaced, because the crowd was hot. When Shannon finished, they went absolutely berserk. She was called out for a second bow, after which she flitted off the stage, entering the wing with a beaming face.

“That was so awesome!” I cried, giving her a congratulatory hug as she came right to me.

“Thanks! But I thought you had to set up!”

“I’m going, I’m going,” I said. “I just had to tell you how great that was, though.”

“Thanks, Matty! It felt so good! I was thinking of you the whole time,” she added with a smile.

“Me?”

“Yeah. You know you’ve changed my life, right? Ever since that night in Jonah’s cabin, you’ve changed the way I look at dancing and photography. Tonight I just let it happen!”

I waved the absurd idea aside and leaned close to her ear. “It was amazing because you kick ass at what you do, not because of some dumb thing I said when I was stoned.”

Shannon laughed. “Well, I don’t agree, but enough. You need to go setup, get yourself ready and step into the moment. And I’m going to quickly change and then go out into the auditorium to watch you play!”

“It looks jam packed.”

“Jackie is saving me a seat, don’t worry. You’ll be great! Have a blast!”

She gave me a kiss on the cheek and a last hug before rushing off. The darkness rapidly swallowed her again, so I turned my attention to my part of the show. Shannon had needed the whole stage, but the magician up next would be performing in front of the closed curtain. This way, we had a little time to slide our gear into place and not delay the show unnecessarily.

On the stage, the theater-tech crew went about setting up the vocal microphones and monitors. Pete and Bruno were already plugging in so I hurried to catch up, wheeling my amp into place.

“Let’s check our tuning and everything before we start?” I suggested quietly, giving Bruno an amused look.

He smirked, but replied playfully. “Shut up, Matt.”

At least everyone is in a good mood.

When everything was setup to my liking, I looked around. Everyone was ready. Carl was down to tweaking his drums in miniscule ways, always a good sign.

“Do we have to get off the stage?” Bruno asked.

“No. They’ll just open the curtain after they announce us,” Lara said.

“Then we should start playing as soon as it cracks open,” I suggested.

“Yeah, let’s do it!”

The seconds ticked by slowly as we tried to imagine the antics of the magician that were bringing in laughs and scattered applause. Someone came backstage to check that we were ready, intensifying the level of anticipation. I kept glancing at Lara, who looked spectral in her short angel-white dress. She was mouthing out lyrics, trying to warm up her voice without disturbing the magician through the curtain. Once, she looked my way. We shared a long smile.

Then act number three was done. The crowd was still raucous. It was invigorating, but also a bit nerve-wracking as the moment of truth approached. The audience settled down into energetic noisiness as they awaited their next entertainment. Lara made a few sounds through her mic to make sure it was working. We turned up the volume on our amps, our guitars issuing a few guttural barks as they yearned to be caressed.

“Ladies and gentlemen ... Please put your hands together for: The Nameless!”

I looked at everyone, making sure they were ready. The curtain started to move, so I launched into the riff without hesitation. For a few long seconds it seemed like a bad idea, since the gap was widening slower than I expected. Then the cheering grew as we came into view. Just as the full blast of lights hit us, Lara let the first line explode through the P.A. system.

“Here we go!”

There was a time, not too many months before I stepped off the stage that night, when I thought of my guitar playing as something I simply did. It never occurred to me why I did it, besides the fact that it was fun. But something had changed since Lara had joined the band. Something about sharing music on a more intimate level had flipped my idea of playing music on its head. That intimate feeling was now exponentially magnified, even as a theater full of family, friends, strangers, rivals, and even ex-lovers watched us play.

But I ignored them all. It was just the five of us on that stage, and within that five it was really just Lara and me. And even within Lara and me, it felt like we were one and the same. Hours of practicing in the cabin together had been etching a circle around the two of us, pulling us tighter, musically and otherwise. That evening, on that stage, the circle felt completed.

Lara rushed to give me a hug as soon as the curtain closed. I could tell by her tone and body language that she was as affected as I was.

“Matt, that was amazing,” she gushed into my ear.

“Yeah,” I breathed. “It was. It really was.”

The crowd was still a mass of insanity on the other side, so the curtain opened for us again. Stepping back to places, we took in the moment for a second time. Lara slid over to Pete and put an arm around his shoulder as she waved to the audience. Finally, the curtain shut us out again, this time for good.

The stage manager was already calling for us to move our gear out of the way for Green Space to set up, so there was no time for euphoric reflection or vain basking. Lara encased my guitar while I dragged my amp and cables to the wings, stashing them them in a messy stack for now. Coming so close on the heels of our mini set, the task seemed jarringly menial so I did the minimum necessary to get out of the way of the next band.

At last, I was able to breathe. Lara and I stood there, looking at each other with excited eyes. She couldn’t help but give me another hug.

“Did you hear our song?” she cooed.

“Of course. It went awesome. People were totally digging it.”

“We need to write more songs together,” she breathed.

I caught a glimpse of Pete looking at us from the back of the wing.

“Sure,” I said absently, suddenly feeling uncomfortable for Lara. “Hey, maybe you should get P—”

“Hi Shannon!” Lara chimed.

Shannon had rushed in, her own pure white dress seeming to reflect Lara’s. She grabbed us each in turn, hugging us tightly and telling us how much she liked the show. I glanced back to the rear wing, but Pete was gone.

“Wow, that’s a sexy dress, Shan!” Lara complimented.

Shannon smiled shyly. “Thanks!” she squeaked.

I just nodded, unsure if I should comment. The dress showed off her endless dancer’s legs, that was for sure. I was pretty familiar with the shape of Shannon’s body from having photographed her, but this outfit put a decidedly suggestive twist on her lean form. Amazing what the right dress can do, really.

“You look incredible too, Lara,” Shannon said. “And you played so awesome! The place was going insane! Rock stars, all of you!”

We both begged off the label, but secretly I felt a twinge of pride at the accomplishment. Even if Green Space were to take the crowd to higher heights tonight, there was nothing for us to be unhappy about.

The announcer’s voice echoed through the space again. “Ladies and gentlemen...”

“Hey, let’s move up and watch Elaine’s brother,” I suggested.

The two girls stayed close to me as I slid toward the front of the wing so that we could see the forestage. Across in the other wing, Elaine’s brother was slinging on an electric guitar for his lip-synching act, decked out in a David Lee Roth-style outfit.

The rumbling drums of Hot for Teacher were shaking the theatre now. Elaine’s brother was poised, waiting for his entrance. Layer by layer the drums built up, until he took a running start from deep in the wing, sliding onto the stage right in time with Eddie’s opening pick glide.

The crowd went crazy, since he was a complete ham. He made all sorts of exaggerated and endearing movements as he tapped his fingers across the fretboard of his imitation Kramer. As the riff kicked in, he strutted around the stage with a level of confidence that I could only dream of attaining.

The end of the act was met with such noise that Shannon covered her ears. The three of us could do nothing but grin at each other, eyes full of knowing admiration. He called his girlfriend out to the stage for his second curtain call, letting her bow in her sexy teacher’s outfit before whirling her around and pressing his lips to hers. She protested this with dramatic fists to his chest, drawing amused hoots and whistles of surprise from the audience. She eventually ‘escaped’, and Elaine’s brother gave a final wave to the crowd before swaggering off into the wing.

“That was awesome,” I said to the girls, unable to hide the awe and even a touch of envy from my voice. “Oh, hey Pete.”

Pete had snuck in behind us during the applause. He nodded at me. Lara slid next to him and put an arm around his waist.

“Did you watch that?” she asked him.

“Nah, I had to pee.”

“Oh, you missed a good one.”

“I saw him at the audition. Anyway, if he ever learns to play guitar for real, then maybe I’ll be impressed,” he said.

“Even if he wasn’t playing, it was pretty awesome,” Shannon observed.

Pete just shrugged, smirking a bit.

“Ladies and gentlemen...”

Green Space closed out the talent show with a set of Grateful Dead covers. We relaxed in the wings, tapping our feet and nodding with the rhythm as Jake and his crew delivered a groovy jam.

“This band’s good,” Shannon murmured into my ear. “But you guys were way better. Fresher sounding and more interesting.”

I turned and gave her a smile. “Thanks, Shannon.”

“Do you still want to go to the dance with me?”

“Of course! I said I would, and I’m actually looking forward to it.”

“Good. Almost time to put those lessons to the test, then!”

I winced. “I wouldn’t expect too much of that.”

“Why not?” she asked, pouting.

I grinned sheepishly. “It’ll be a victory if I can get to the middle of the floor without tripping! So we’ll have to wait and see what happens.”

“We sure will!”

“Hey, are you going to torture me out there?”

“I think you can count on that! I love dancing, so don’t expect to be sitting down too much tonight, Matty. But hey, it’ll be a really fun night, I promise. I’m really happy to be your date.”

“Cool. Me too, Shannon.”

The high I felt from our set was finally subsiding a bit. Lara and Pete had wandered off to a darker part of the wing, so Shannon and I watched Green Space finish their last song with a long cacophony of cymbals and feedback. The crowd cheered them on until they brought it home. It was ... great applause. Not the craziness I thought we’d gotten, perhaps, but ... Then I shook those vain thoughts from my head and turned to Shannon again.

“I’m going to pack up, give my gear to my parents, and then I’m done. Do you want to hang, or—”

“I can help!”

I eyed her pristine white dress. “The stuff might be a bit dirty.”

“So? You’re in a white suit, Matt! Besides, I don’t mind getting dirty with you,” she added more quietly. Then she giggled. “Sorry, that was...”

I laughed and shook my head, but also wondered if I was going to have to be careful with the banter tonight.

Out in the auditorium, the audience noise changed into the sound of people standing and exiting, and work lights started coming on. I led Shannon over to my stack of gear.

“Yo, you sounded great, man!”

I turned to find the guitar player from Green Space approaching, instrument still in hand. He offered me a high-five.

“I’m Colin,” he introduced.

“Matt.”

Colin’s eyes took Shannon in for a moment. “You’re not the singer, are you?”

Shannon laughed. “No, that’s Lara. I’m Shannon. Similar dress, I guess?”

“Yeah,” Colin said with a grin as he looked her over once more. “Hi, Shannon.”

“Hi!”

“She danced earlier in the show,” I said.

At this, Shannon squirmed slightly, but Colin’s eyes lit up in recognition.

“Oh, yeah! I checked that out from the side. That was out there! Cool shit!”

“Thanks!”

Colin grinned at her for a long moment and then turned to me again. “Anyway, great set, man. Love the Jane’s songs! Didn’t know there were other people at this school who were into that.”

“Cool. You guys sounded great too. Good stuff.”

“Sweet. It was fun. But...” he shrugged. “I’m tired of the seventies music, you know? Any chance you want to jam a bit on some of this newer stuff sometime?”

“Uh, sure, I guess. You mean like get our bands together?”

Colin shook his head. “Nah, just you and me. Show me some riffs, work out some songs, just for fun, you know?”

“Yeah, sure. That would be awesome!”

“What was the second song you played?”

“Oh, that was one we wrote.”

Colin looked impressed. “Really? It was totally cool. A bit dark ... Awesome.”

“Thanks. Me and my sister worked it up a few weeks ago, so it’s still kind of new. She’s the one who was singing.”

“Wow! She’s great, really lets it rip. Perfect voice for Jane’s, I have to say. Maybe the three of us can jam. Anyway, what are you doing tonight?”

“Going to the dance,” I said with a grin.

He glanced at Shannon, a knowing look on his face. “Sweet. If the two of you get bored with it, we’re having a bit of a party at Jake’s house. Nothing big, just the band, girlfriends, a couple of other people. Plenty of beer, other stuff too, if you’re into that. You should come hang out for a bit. There might even be a jam going on, so definitely bring your guitar.”

“Cool. Where does he live?”

Colin told me. It wasn’t far from Brian’s house. Still, it seemed like an unlikely event for us to attend, so I responded noncommittally.

“Right on. Anyway, if I don’t see you there tonight,” Colin said, “I’ll catch up with you in school, and maybe we can find sometime to get together and play?”

“Definitely. See you around, man.”

Colin took his leave, so I set about packing up.

“Told you,” Shannon said smugly.

“What?”

“Rock star!” she whispered loudly.

I grinned at her. Over her shoulder, I noticed Pete watching us as he coiled his guitar cable. He glanced away immediately. I realized he’d probably heard everything I had talked about with Colin. Had Colin talked to Pete too? I hoped he wasn’t feeling left out. Another twinge of anxiety went through me. Where was Lara? I realized that Pete hadn’t said a word to me since the set was over. He was looking extremely reserved, when he should be at least enjoying the moment.

“So are we going to Jake’s party?” Shannon asked me.

I snapped out of my thoughts. “I doubt it. Unless you want to?”

“Whatever. But we should at least go to some of the dance, since we’re all dressed up.”

“What? Of course we’re going. I’m not going to back out on you, don’t worry. Forget about the party.”

Shannon leaned in closer. “I think Colin thought we were together.”

I raised an amused eyebrow at her. “We are going to the dance together, so it only figures.”

Shannon giggled as she patted my chest. We were interrupted by my parents, who had found their way onto the stage and intruded through the curtain gap. Greetings and hugs went around. I awkwardly accepted their compliments and the subsequent chatter.

“All right,” Melissa eventually sighed. “We’ll let you two get to your next event. Should I pull up the car so you can load your stuff?”

“Actually, I’ll just put it in Shannon’s car,” I said, remembering the possible jam at Jake’s. Be prepared!

“Whatever you want, sweetie. You can still drive Matt home tonight, Shannon?”

“Of course!”

“Have fun!”

“I’m just glad they didn’t bring flowers,” I muttered as my moms disappeared through the curtain again.

“Oh, Matt, what are you worried about? Your parents are so freaking cool!”

My shrug turned into a laugh. “Maybe you’re right. Anyway, I’m ready to pack it out. You want to carry my sack of cables and guitar, and I’ll grab the amp? We can get it in one trip that way.”

Shannon hefted the gear with an enthusiastic grin. “Sure. It’s roadie time!”

We paused to say goodbye to my band mates, who were congregating with Brian, Elaine, Randi and Mina. Lara was slightly off to the side, chatting with Alice, who was in a white dress as well. Only Pete was missing.

“Sure you two aren’t going to ditch and come to Bri’s?” Carl asked us.

“We’ll probably stop by later,” I said.

Brian nodded. “Cool. We’ll be there, don’t worry. We’ll save some fun for you. Nice hat, by the way.”

I had no idea if he meant it, so I just nodded slightly.

“All right, let’s go. Where the fuck is Pete?” Carl asked.

“Probably swapping spit with Lara,” Bruno joked.

“I’m actually right here, Bruno,” Lara called out.

Bruno whirled around, his face turning a bit red.

Carl saved him from saying anything dumber. “Where’s Pete, then?” he asked her. “We’re ready to roll.”

“He went to say hi to his folks. He’ll be right back.”

“His folks? They weren’t even coming.”

“I guess they did, I don’t know.”

“His mom has the flu, bad,” Carl muttered.

“Whatever, he’ll be here in a minute. Chill. His guitar is still here, so it’s not like he disappeared.”

Shannon and I excused ourselves. We carried the gear out to the parking lot, stashing it in the trunk of her muscle car. After she slammed the door closed, she sighed and turned to me. Her dress seemed to light up the nearby area in the darkness.

“Ready?” I asked, feeling a bit nervous.

“Sure,” she answered. “You?”

The fun part of the evening was done. Now the foolish part.

“It’s now or never.”

She laughed. “That bad, huh?”

“No, it’s not that. I’ve never been to a school dance.”

“Me neither.”

“Yeah, but at least you can dance,” I protested. “I’m going to admit that I’m feeling pretty self-conscious right now, about getting out on the floor in front of people I know.”

“And yet you just played in front of five-hundred people,” she responded.

I laughed a little. “Different. I can actually play the guitar a little bit!”

“Well, it’s not about the dancing, really.”

“I guess.”

Shannon looked me in the eyes. “Matt.”

“What?”

She held my gaze with a slight smile. “I promise you something. You will have a great time tonight.”

I relented and smiled back at her. “You’re right. And if it goes badly, we can always just take off and hang out somewhere.”

“Exactly! But it won’t go badly. You’ve been practicing, so come on! You’ll do great. Now let’s get up there before I freeze to death.”

I got hold of my wits, realizing she was standing there bare-legged in the chill air.

“Of course, sorry. Let’s go!”

We hurried back to the school, making for the entrance near the gymnasium where the party was taking place. The thump of dance music pulsed under our feet as we slipped through the double glass doors, passing people dressed in red or white. There were also those in other colors who either didn’t get the message about the real theme, or perhaps didn’t care for it.

Shannon caught sight of us in the mirrored back of a trophy display case. She pulled up short and took off her coat so that we could look at ourselves.

“We look pretty good,” she mused, slipping an arm into mine. “Nice hat, by the way.”

“Oh, quit it.”

Once inside the gym, any hope of postponing the inevitable was dashed when Shannon immediately tossed her coat onto the bleachers and dragged me out onto the floor. She was shimmying in time with the beat before I’d even taken a second breath. This simple act demonstrated her extreme comfort with moving her body. If only it was the same with me.

I spent a few songs following along, glad that the lighting was fairly low. Pitch-darkness would’ve been infinitely better, but at least it wasn’t the usual gymnasium fluorescence. When I finally got the confidence to look around, I found that maybe I wasn’t the worst dancer. Maybe the most overdressed – I hadn’t thought to lose the hat at the bleachers – but not the worst.

A slow number was both a relief and a source of awkwardness. It was surely easier to stay fairly still, but that meant hands needed to go on bodies. There was a moment of hesitation when Shannon and I looked at each other. Perhaps she was contemplating where the line was in her agreement with Heather. I reached forward first. We ended up in a gentle hug, swaying slowly as the music surrounded us. The floor grew a little more crowded, which surprised me.

“Having fun?” she asked.

“Yeah, I am. You?”

“Definitely,” she responded, contentment in her voice.

I also caught an amused glint in her eye. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. I’m just having a good time with you.”

These dances were odd things. The music was too loud to allow for conversation unless we held each other close, but this was only necessary during the slow numbers. The rest of the time, I felt rather distant from Shannon. She moved very smoothly. I fought not to stare as she twisted her body in such interesting ways, instead looking at the other people on the floor. The couples who looked really good were very much into each other. I had no idea how to dance like that, so pretty soon things felt a little stale.

After some time, we decided to catch a break. We retreated to the side to grab some sodas and watch the crowd for a bit. As we stood there, I was feeling a little more energized from the movement, strangely enough. Almost like I wanted to get back out on the floor!

“So what’s the plan?” Shannon asked.

“With?”

“You want to stay longer?”

“Sure.”

“Really? I figured we’d be running out of here to go to Brian’s the first chance I gave you.”

“Maybe a little more dancing wouldn’t hurt.”

“Oh, so it’s not so bad after all?”

I just grinned sheepishly.

“I’m up for more!” she sang. “Heh, look at them!”

She pointed. A teacher was breaking up a couple that had gotten a little too friendly.

“Didn’t know they had chaperones,” I remarked. “Anyway, you need to help me out, though.”

She frowned at me. “Help you out? How?”

“I’m not sure what to do out there besides step around in time.”

“Just let go and feel it. Stop thinking about it and see what your body does. Lose yourself to the movement.”

“Easy for you to say. I’m trying!”

“Are you?” she asked, the corner of her mouth turned up a bit.

“A little, but...”

“But?”

“I don’t know. It feels disconnected from you. You’re way ahead of me.”

Shannon smiled as she patted my arm. “I’ll tone it down, then.”

“No, just help me out. Show me some stuff when we get out there.”

She raised a brow. “If you’re sure that’s what you want!”

“Sure, why not?”

We finished our sodas, crushing our cans into the trash as we headed toward the floor. Despite my enthusiasm, self-consciousness rose up in me again as we drew near to the edge of the dancing mass of people. I didn’t think I could let go without making a fool of myself. My mind and body felt disconnected and disjoint, Clara’s lessons not withstanding.

Disconnected... ? But no, Clara had taught me something! Of course, I suddenly realized. It was about a connection, but not within me. Clara had forced me to connect with her by making me look into her eyes while we did the ochos. Even though I would’ve eaten my hat if the DJ played a tango that night, there was still something to take from her lessons, I realized.

I had little time to contemplate this thought, though, as Twist and Shout came on. Right away Shannon grabbed my hands. There was a moment of surprising discomfort as I realized what I’d gotten myself into. It was one thing to watch Shannon gyrating from a few feet away, quite another to have to hold onto her while she did so! Like trying to mount a mechanical bull while it was already on. Not that I’d ever tried that.

Her arms started pulling and pushing as she kept her eyes on me, inviting me to join in. I loosened up – forced to, really – and let her lead me around, putting great effort into keeping my eyes on hers and letting my feet do what they would. I followed her down to the floor as we twisted, our knees brushing at the nadir. We went a little lower each time.

I gradually found myself getting the hang of, well, letting go. Instead of looking around aloofly, I invested my attention in following Shannon’s lead. Perhaps feeling like I’d reached a new level, she soon started some more complicated moves, like spinning her body into mine and then away again. With some guidance, she showed me how to make her turn by lifting an arm and gently nudging her waist.

The song ended too soon. I was just getting the hang of it! But the DJ was prescient and continued on a bit of an old-school rock and swing streak. Shannon took me through a lesson of basic partner dancing that was more fun than I ever would’ve imagined. God, she could move, though. She made that dress work hard. Her hips were seemingly unattached to her body. And her eyes flashed when the lights caught them just right. She was in her element, fully comfortable with every inch of herself. By the end of the upbeat sequence, I was thoroughly amazed that I’d been able to go along for the ride.

Some drawn out violins indicated that it was time for a break. We shared happy smiles as Shannon pulled close to me and wrapped her arms around my neck. She settled her head onto my shoulder, her chest still heaving from the recent workout.