Chapter 25: Classic Girl

My unexpected grumpiness from the morning mostly dissipated after Heather pulled into the driveway. Julie and I were to meet at the coffee shop in town after lunch. Heather was very glad to be able to spend some time with Lara. Almost too glad, I thought. Despite some lingering apprehension about what they might discuss, I decided to let things happen as they might.

The morning was low key, but satisfying. Lara, Heather and I played some board games and listened to music, before the girls cashed in on the massage train. I rubbed Lara’s back and shoulders while she rubbed Heather’s. Heather, her hands unoccupied, went through Shannon’s pictures of me and the band as well as my Electric Counterpoint photos.

After lunch, Melissa dropped me off at the coffee place before she continued on to shop for food. Julie appeared shortly after I arrived and we shared a warm hug. She looked older than I remembered. Maybe we all did.

“I’m so happy you came to town and we get to hang out for a bit!” she gushed.

“Yeah. I didn’t want to miss seeing you.”

She shook her head at the sight of me. “Awesome. It was so great to get your call this morning. Where’s Heather at?”

“She’s hanging out with Lara, back at the house. I let them have some time without me pestering them,” I said, grinning.

Julie laughed. “Nice.”

“Yeah, they get along really well. Hey, you want something to drink? My aunt’s buying,” I said, flashing the twenty that Aunt Beth had handed me earlier.

We ordered a pair of hot chocolates and found a small couch near the back of the place where it wasn’t too loud.

“Aunt Beth misses you,” I said. “She told me to tell you that.”

Julie smiled wistfully. “I know. I keep meaning to go over and visit.”

“You should. She’d love to see you.”

“I know. A lot of memories in that house,” she said, laughing a little. “Good ones, great ones...” She paused, looking off. “Some not so good, too.”

“True,” I said softly. “How’re you doing?”

Julie brightened. “I’m actually doing pretty good. Didn’t mean to drag the conversation down so fast, sorry!”

“Nah, it’s cool. I mean, we’ve been through a lot together. But you’re right, lots of memories. Heh, remember when you snuck out of my window that one time?”

Julie buried her hands in her face. “There’s one reason I haven’t been to visit in a while! I can’t believe your aunt saw me. God!”

“That was the very first thing I thought of when I went into that room a few days ago! But when you think about it, it was all kind of silly, us sneaking around like that. I was really embarrassed about every little thing I did back then.”

“Yeah, me too! Remember when we biked drunk to Becky’s?”

“That was so messed up! I barely remember that night. Did you fall off the bike, or was it me?”

Julie chuckled. “I don’t know!”

“Was that the night they came home early?”

“I think so. That was so crazy,” she said, shaking her head.

“Did Becky ever say anything to you about it?”

“No, never.”

“She actually knew we were there,” I confided.

Julie looked at me. “I did not know that! She told you?”

“I’m pretty sure she said as much when she was in my room that day. But I don’t know. I just remember being freaked out that she was coming on to me, so everything’s kind of hazy at this point. Kind of feels like that was eight years ago, you know?”

“Totally. I haven’t really talked to her since that day. That pretty much ruined our friendship.”

I made a face. “Probably for the best. She was really weird ... Anyway, what’s new with you?”

She shrugged. “Pretty much the same old. But I do have a boyfriend. A nice one, finally.” She looked at me and hastily added, “Not that you weren’t. But you know Brian, and well, anyway. I’m pretty happy with how things are going.”

I smiled. “Nice. I’m happy for you.”

“And things with you and Heather? Obviously going good? She always seems so cheerful at school.”

“Yeah, it’s been good, but you know, long times without seeing each other. It’s hard to wait for these short trips.”

Julie nodded knowingly. “Have you seen her since the summer?”

“Yeah, she came up in October for a couple of days.”

“Nice. Still, it has to be hard.”

I looked at her seriously. “It is ... Any advice?”

She laughed uneasily. “Yeah, I know, right? I’m the expert on what could go wrong in a long-distance relationship!”

“You know that’s not what I meant. What could I have done differently back then?”

Julie considered for a moment. “It wasn’t you, Matt. Really. You were amazing, when I look back. You wrote me, wanted me to come visit. I’ll give you some advice from my side, though: don’t get involved with an asshole and let him walk all over you.”

I laughed. “Well, I’m safe there, so far.”

Julie looked at me, but past me. “And just try to keep me in your life as much as possible, Matt.”

I furrowed my brow. “You want me to call you sometimes?”

Julie stared at me blankly for a second. Then she snapped out of it.

“Sorry, I meant Heather. Keep Heather in your life as much as possible.” She shook her head. “You know, I feel like I never did that. Instead, I started trying to get the feeling of being with you by using people around here. Started hanging out with other guys, partying a lot, even though I pretended that it was like being with you. That was my first mistake, not letting go of the good times we had. And then spending lots of time with Brian, of course. You know, alone. He was cool, at first, fun to hang with. I thought it was nothing, that we were just friends.”

She took a sip of chocolate and then continued with a sad laugh. “I guess I never told you this, but we used to have drinking contests. I know, it was so bad! He had to drink double, because he was bigger than me, and even then I still could never win. But I was so dumb. I thought it was just being friends. The whole time, it was like he was a temporary you. I don’t know why I thought that, because he wasn’t, obviously. He was a complete dick, and you’re so not. But it was like he was holding your place until you came back. Always just as friends, I thought. But then...”

She shrugged. I was now feeling quite tense.

“Then?” I asked softly.

“Then I kind of stopped thinking about you when I was with him. See, right after you left, it was easy: you were always on my mind, even when I was with Brian. But then after a while, you were there a little less. I would keep crossing lines. Swimming with him, telling him about really personal things, letting him put his arm around me ... Getting high with him, even. By the time Brian kissed me, well, it was too hard to say no. I regretted it, like, right away,” she added. “But, then it was too late. I was a total mess. I knew everything was ruined. Which it was.”

I swallowed hard. “I know what you’re saying. It’s been hard back home for me. I’ve been busy with friends, and the band, taking pictures and stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to keep Heather in mind.”

Julie looked at me sadly. “So you know how it is, then.”

“Which is totally stupid, though, because I’m here in Montauk now, seeing her, and I’m like, how can I not be thinking of her all the time?”

Julie sniffed, nodding slowly. “But it happens. Don’t get too close to any girls, Matt. It’s easy to become friends with someone and get close to them, but it’s really hard to back out.”

Alana. Shannon. But nothing was going on with them! Surely I was beating myself up for no reason.

Julie continued, “Anyway, so then I didn’t tell you what was going on, after little things happened with Brian. I was always saying what’s the point, it’s no big deal, I’ll tell him later, or it’s too late now. I’ll just fix things later. Obviously things just went downhill from there. Drinking didn’t help, and Brian being a total dick was the icing on the cake.”

“Yeah,” I murmured.

“Yeah.”

There was a pitiful moment where we both stared at our drinks. Then Julie livened up and sat straighter on the couch, crossing her legs under her to face me.

“Shit, I’m sorry Matt, this is all so depressing. We’re better than that now, right? Let’s talk about something else. How about your band? What’s going on with them?”

I shifted gears to tell her about how Lara was singing now, although the slight knot in my stomach didn’t dissolve for quite some time.

“So what’s the next project shot?” I asked Heather, when we got into her car that evening.

“Are you up for another one?”

“I think so. You said you had one more in mind.”

“I do. I don’t want to wear you out, though.”

“I got some sleep. Not as much as I wanted, but enough to stay up until at least seven-thirty tonight!”

Heather pouted at my half-serious joke. “Let’s give it a try,” she said gently. “It will be nice, I promise. My folks are visiting some friends for a few hours, so we have the house free for a bit.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

She winked at me as she backed out of the driveway. She started down the road, but not in the direction I expected. She obviously knew how to get to her house, so I said nothing. I wondered what crazy scheme she had in mind for the night. My curiosity turned into a rush of nostalgic warmth as she guided the car into the lot of a familiar park.

“I think I know where this is going,” I said quietly as she killed the engine.

Heather looked at me meaningfully before she got out of the car. We worked wordlessly, setting up the shot we’d taken once before. It seemed like ages, and yet also felt like it was just a few days earlier. I placed the tripod, finding the sprinkler head just about where I remembered it being. Heather smoothed the sand, setting up a flat bed for us to lie on. After setting the timer on the camera to its full duration, I took a deep breath. Heather came over and looked at me for a long while. Her hair was flying wildly in the heavy breeze and her eyes were on fire in the orange glow of the park lights.

“I’m going to put on the heels,” she whispered. “But I think a kiss will be enough for this shot. Is that okay?”

I nodded as warm rings of energy floated inside my body. She steadied herself on my arm as she reached down to make the change of shoes. A flash of distant lightning partially caught my attention. A storm was brewing.

“Ready?” I asked.

Heather studied the sky for a long moment. “Hmm ... One sec. I think we need a condom after all.”

“What? I thought you just said...”

So much for just kissing! But no, she went to the car and dug an old plastic bag out of the trunk. She slipped the bag over the camera, forcing a rip in it that was just big enough to allow the edge of the lens to poke through.

“Now we’re ready!”

I pressed the shutter release through the plastic bag. We hurried to the swing set to lie down, the top of my head touching the top of hers, our feet pointing away from each other, our foreheads directly below the bottom of the swing’s seat. Just as the timer seemed about to go off, Heather gave the swing a gentle push.

Click. The swing scythed past us. Click.

We watched the seat lazily traverse ever shorter arc-lengths, until the wind was strong enough to take over and make its movement aperiodic. Another flash of lightning was followed some six seconds later by faint rumbling. The earth seemed to be waking up all around us, anticipating something electric.

“The last time we were here, do you remember what you said to me?” Heather asked, her voice seemingly coming from far away.

“I do.”

“It was ... beautiful. You had my heart already, Matt, but that’s a moment I’ll never forget, the rest of my days.”

“Me neither.”

“I was so nervous!”

“Really? You, nervous?” I asked, surprised.

“Very nervous. I had no idea what you’d say, after the picture snapped. It seemed like it was our one and only chance to ever get together. That was it. I knew that if you stood up and left, it was over forever. Not meant to be ... That moment seemed so important, as if everything I ever did in my life was just getting ready to be lying here under the swing with you. Squeezing down to that one instant, just to see what you’d say. I had to wait. The agony, though, because you were quiet for so long!”

“But then I spoke.”

“You did...” she breathed. “And then I knew.”

“But then it was my turn to be nervous.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because you got up. I thought it was over, that you were leaving. I thought that you were with Bill, and that I was being way uncool, saying the things I was saying.”

“What would you have done if I really did leave?” she asked.

“Probably would’ve cried.”

Heather’s hand caressed my head as more thunder rolled across the landscape, following closer on the heels of its flashy leader. A sudden gust picked up some dead leaves and swirled them nearby in a mini vortex, whistling while it worked on the debris. The sky grew darker. Something wild was approaching. The dozen trees that watched over us were singing of it, waxing and waning in a chorus of three million leaves.

“But you didn’t get up,” I continued. “And then you kissed me ... You’re the most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me, Heather. I don’t know what I did to get so lucky. If I could somehow magically move down here, I would do it in an instant, just so I could be with you all the time. Even though you’re by far the craziest person I’ve ever met, and you kick my ass every time we get together, I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Nothing. I ... I can’t even explain how you make me feel.”