Chapter 7: May Flowers

Mom immediately picked up on my sour mood when I got home Thursday afternoon. While she was obviously excited to tell me about her and Jim’s negotiation trip, she contained herself long enough to ask me what was wrong.

I told her and then sat down heavily at the kitchen table and shook my head. “Maybe dating Jeryl is a bad idea. I had no idea she would be so jealous.”

Mom sat down next to me and patted my arm. “Paul, you’ve always been mature for your years. You can’t expect everyone your age to have the same world view you have. You’ve told me about Jim and Lisa. Do they have lunch together all the time?”

“Of course.”

“Do they share classes together?”

“You know they do.”

“Does that make them closer or do they get on each other’s nerves?”

“Closer.”

“Now think about you and Jeryl. You talk on the phone a bit most nights, and see each other on the weekends while all of her friends are probably acting more like Jim and Lisa. Jealousy is usually based on insecurities more than a belief that you are doing something. She doesn’t have the daily interaction other girls do with their boyfriends and that probably makes her insecure.”

I nodded my head. My own insecurities were buffered by an additional fifty years of experience. It made sense. “But what can I do about it, Mom?”

“Well, first of all you have to decide if Jeryl and your relationship with her is worth the effort. You’re young, Paul. You’ll have a lot of opportunity to meet other women and find love. I know you don’t want to hear that right now, but you know it is true. Then, if you decide it is worth it, you have to figure out ways to spend more time with her and remove her insecurities.”

I nodded and gave Mom a quick one-armed hug. “You’re right. I need to decide.” I wanted to head to my room or out to the shed to start that thinking, but could tell Mom still wanted to talk. “So, how was the trip with Jim?” She actually blushed.

“It was nice. We met with the lawyers for GM on Wednesday. We went back and forth on the patent they were most interested in and they were getting pretty close to settling on decent terms for licensing it. Then Jim let slip your other seven filings and the fact that you were going to revolutionize the auto industry with the work you were doing and had on the drawing board. You could see that they were caught by surprise. They had not looked at the other filings you had. They asked for a break for lunch and we did not get back with them until after two. By the time we broke at seven, they were looking at terms for licensing PT Innovations’ portfolio of patents for a heck of a lot more than we discussed in the morning.” She gave me a hug. “Paul, you really are a genius.”

“So we have a deal?”

“Not yet. They want to see the car and have a longer review of the other patent applications before settling on a value. Jim and I think it is going to be a pretty big offer once they finish their review. He pulled some information from his State Farm contacts. The savings in insurance rates can make these ideas of yours worth a premium price on the cars with the savings offsetting the price in less than two years. Jim is certain we can get more than fifty dollars a car.”

“Wow.” I was pretty sure GM was making over 1.5 million cars a year.

“Wow indeed.”

“So, you and Jim spent all that time working? No nice dinners or anything?”

Her blush returned. “Don’t you worry about your old Mom, Paul.”

“I’m not worried about you. I just want to make sure you are taking a little time to enjoy yourself. This is a windfall for both of us.”

“I know that, Paul, but I also don’t want us to forget who we are just because we suddenly have some money.”

“So do you like Jim? You certainly act like it.”

“That’s none of your business, young man.”

“Will you at least tell me if it gets serious?”

My mother nodded. “That much, I can agree to. Now, why don’t you run out and take care of chores and then we’ll go into town for dinner?”

“Call me (call me) on the line

Call me, call me any, anytime

Call me (call me) oh love

When you’re ready we can share the wine

Call me...”

I snapped the radio off and taped the last splice of speaker wire together. The stereo was in and I could stop listening to Blondie belt out the anthem from American Gigolo. It seemed the only FM radio station we could get at the farm had to play it a couple of times an hour. Given the lack of any calls to or from Jeryl, I did not need to hear it again.

I wiped my hands off and looked at my checklist. I was getting close to being finished. It was the one good feeling I had. I sat down on a work stool and thought about my situation. I was on the cusp of having enough capital to bring forward my fusion research in a big way and give the United States the energy independence it needed to avoid the turmoil of the next few decades. I was pretty certain I was going to change things enough to keep my mother alive past her prior time, and it looked like she would not face the future alone as she had the first time through. And all I could think about was a slim brunette with hazel eyes and how I had let her down.

“Man, my priorities are all fucked up,” I muttered to myself. I grabbed the set of breadboard circuits from the workbench and then went back to the car. Concentrating on finishing the wiring for the five gauges for the central control cluster was much easier work than trying to fathom the female mind, I decided. Soon I had the driver’s seat pulled off its mounting and was lying under the dash with a light lying by my head and a small screwdriver in my hand.

My concept was simple in theory, but highly dependent on having a microprocessor feeding information to the four chrome-rimmed gauges that flanked the central speedometer. Each gauge had a small push button stem to one side that incremented a two-bit counter. Collectively, I had eight-bits that set a unique computer value to determine what data was fed to the gauge cluster, or 256 possible configurations. Since that was too much variability to keep clear in my own head, I also had four pre-set configurations that I could cycle through from a rocker button on the steering wheel. With those pre-sets, I could easily cycle through and monitor amps, voltages, temperature, and RPMs of each wheel motor.

I also had a small LED beneath each gauge to show its setting so I could know what was being displayed. I had already done a much more elaborate control layout design, but the displays were not yet available, so dull red seven-segment LEDs would have to do for now. Oh, how I wished for a bit-mapped LCD display.

Finally, the last screw for the control box lid was in place and I slipped out of the car. I was re-installing the seat when I saw a flash of light as the machine shed door opened. I finished tightening a bolt before standing to see who was there.

“Hi, Paul,” Kelly said. She was in jeans and a loose blue top. Her hair was loose and flowing and she had that fresh just-washed look to her that I had always thought attractive. She had a briefcase in her hand instead of a purse.

“Hey, Kelly. Here to check up on the progress of the Beast?”

“I think that car is more beauty than beast, and no, I’m not here just to check on progress. I wanted to see how you were doing. Last time I was up here, things did not look good for you.”

It had been over a week.

I shook my head. “Well, they haven’t gotten any better. But school is almost over, my car is almost done, my birthday is just around the corner, and it looks like our company will be making a fortune soon, so I can’t really complain, can I?”

Kelly patted my arm. “I wish there was something I could do. I feel like your girl problems are my fault.”

“I appreciate the thought. I suppose if I told her all the details of why you are here and what I’m trying to do, it might help, but then I wouldn’t know if Jeryl cared about me or about the money we are going to have soon. If we can’t work things out without me spilling all of my plans, how can I know she cares about me?”

“Why don’t you want to tell her?” Kelly asked. “Do you really think she is motivated by money?”

I thought about that for a minute. Based on what I knew from my first life, I did not think any of the Salaways were that concerned with material wealth, though they had always seemed to not want for much. Other women had scarred me from wanting my money or property, but I had no reason to believe Jeryl would. Maybe they had more money than I thought, given how they were threatened with being “cut-off” if they lost their virginity. “No, I don’t really think so.”

“So why not tell her?”

“I don’t know how, now that she wants nothing to do with me.”

Kelly stared at me and shook her head. “Well, while you figure it out, how about we go over this new patent application. Dad had a few questions before we send it in.”

I cleared off my workbench and she pulled a file out of her briefcase and we got to work.

An hour later, I waved goodbye to her and walked into the house for dinner. I found a note on the table from my Mom. She was meeting Jim for dinner. If I had known, I’d have invited Kelly to share leftovers, but she probably had plans for Saturday night anyway. As I heated up some spaghetti in the microwave, I wondered if I should go to church tomorrow and try to talk to Jeryl. I had skipped church last Sunday, not wanting to face her. It’s not like I believed my soul was at stake.

Did I really want to date Jeryl?

I pondered the question as I ate.

It was obvious that I was not in the relationship for sex, since we hardly had a steady sexual relationship. I was strongly attracted to her, but was there more than that? Was she something I had lusted after in my past and now was afraid to let go of?

And if I did want a relationship, what could I do to address the issues Mom had raised? Her insecurity was a result of my unavailability. At least part of it was, anyway. What could I do about that?

I heated another bowl of spaghetti and continued to think about it.

Of course, I knew there were a hundred ways I could show her I cared and make her more central to my life, especially once I had my car and license. The real question was whether it was worth the effort. I knew of only one couple that had stayed together after high school and actually ended up married, let alone happy. What were the odds that we were the soul mates everyone always talked about? It was probably best if I put my boyhood fantasies and desires aside and focused on the future.

But something kept drawing me back to her. I kept thinking of her easy, shy smile. I dreamed of her sweet scent and warm laugh. I longed to hold her in my arms; it made me feel complete in a way I had never felt with anyone else, including Wendy who I knew I had loved.

A knock on the door interrupted my thinking. I was surprised to see it was dark out. I went to the door, flipped on the porch light and was shocked to see Jeryl standing outside, fidgeting and shifting her weight from one foot to the other.

I opened the door. “Jeryl, I didn’t think...”

She threw herself at me and quieted my question with a kiss.

I reveled in the feel of her lips against mine. The soft warmth pressed tight as she wrapped her arms around my neck and clung to me. “I’m so sorry, Paul. Can you forgive my childish behavior?” She pulled back far enough for me to see the tears on her cheeks and the pleading in her hazel eyes.

“Of course, kitten.” There was no way I could do anything else. “I’m sorry I made you feel jealous. Nothing is going on between Kelly and me.”

“I know,” she said as she hugged me again and rested her head against my shoulder. “She told me.”

“What?”

It was then that I saw someone else at the end of the sidewalk to the porch. Kelly was standing just out of the shadows, smiling. Jeryl saw my look and turned and waved Kelly up.

“Kelly stopped by this evening and made me listen to her.”

“And how did she do that?” I asked as Kelly climbed up to the porch.

Kelly laughed. “I told her mother and older sister that if she didn’t listen to me, I’d be forced to actually give her a reason to be jealous. She was close enough to hear that and came out to give me an earful, but eventually she listened.”

“And just what did you say to make her change her mind?”

Jeryl looked back up at me. “She told me that I was being a juvenile fool for running away from one of the smartest, kindest and most generous young men she had ever known. Then she told me why she was out at your farm last week and how important your car and work was to not just yourself, but to the whole country.”

I arched an eyebrow at Kelly.

“She also told me that she was possibly risking thousands of dollars by telling me, but she refused to worry about money and fees if she was the cause of us breaking up. Then she went on to tell me about how she had treated you when you first met her but how you had forgiven her.”

“So much for client-attorney privilege,” I muttered.

“I’m not your attorney, my dad is.” Kelly said with a smirk. “And if I was, I would drop you so I could get you two straightened out. Nothing we have said to each other in the past week was in the presence of your attorney, so privilege doesn’t apply.”

Kelly put a hand on each of our shoulders and looked us each in the eye in turn. “Everybody your age makes mistakes with their feelings and first relationships. God knows I did. As you get a little older, you realize that when you make a mistake, you try to make it right and at the worst, learn from it. I made a mistake by kissing your cheek last week, so I needed to make it right.”

“And I made a mistake when I ran away instead of asking what was going on,” Jeryl said. “That’s why I had to come and apologize and beg you to forgive me.”

I sighed. “And I made a mistake when I didn’t tell you what was really going on with my car, so I guess I had better correct that mistake too. Can you both come in for a little bit?”

Soon we were in the kitchen. I got them drinks of iced tea and quickly cleaned up my dishes as I tried to decide how to start. Finally, I couldn’t put it off any longer and just jumped into it.

“I’ve got some ideas on how to really make a difference in how cars are built and how safe they can be, Jeryl. That’s what my car is really about. It’s to prove out ideas and designs that I can patent. Last week Mom and Kelly’s dad Jim were meeting with lawyers representing GM. They are interested in licensing some of my ideas.”

“Really?” Her questioning look darted between Kelly and me.

“Really,” Kelly said.

I nodded. “At the low end, I’ll probably get at least a dollar a car that uses one of my ideas.”

Kelly snorted and I looked at her. “In for a penny, Paul?”

I shook my head. “The low end is probably too low,” I admitted. “The last number mentioned in the negotiations was closer to fifty bucks a car.”

“But how many cars could use your ideas?”

“Most likely all of them. GM made just under two million cars last year.”

“Two million?” She was a little shocked.

“Yes. And that was just GM. We haven’t even begun talking to any of the other manufacturers.”

“So you’re going to be a millionaire, as a sophomore in high school?”

“Probably. That’s one of the reasons I didn’t want to tell you. I don’t want friends or you to like me for my money. In fact, I’d like to keep it as quiet as possible.”

Jeryl leaped from her chair and pushed her way onto my lap. “You silly boy. I’d love you even if you were poor. You captured my heart, which is why, when I thought you were doing something with her, I was so hurt.” She kissed me again.

I replayed her words in my head. She loved me. I kissed her back passionately. When we finally broke for air, Kelly laughed.

“You too had better invite me to the wedding in six or seven years,” she said.

We both blushed. “We’ll see,” I finally said before kissing Jeryl again.

This time when we stopped, Kelly was smirking and shaking her head. “Jeryl, I’m glad I could play a small role in getting you two talking again, but I’m going to have to get going soon and I promised your Mom I’d drive you home.”

Jeryl smiled and asked if she could use our phone. I pointed it out to her. A minute later she was talking to her mother.

“Mom, Paul and I need to talk some things over. Is it alright if I stay out a little while?”

She frowned. “I know Mom, but this is important. Jordan or Jyl can pick me up when they get home, or Paul’s Mom may be able to give me a lift home. Please.”

She listened again for a minute.

“Mom, I’m not going to do anything stupid. Two hours ago I was so mad at him that I didn’t want to even speak to him. If we are going to go out again, we need to talk and sort some things out.”

The next pause was longer.

Finally, “You know I will. Thanks Mom. I love you.” She hung up the phone and turned to me with a beaming smile.

“Kelly, thanks for the ride over and the straightening out of my head. I really appreciate it. I’m fine for a ride.” She gave Kelly a hug and then walked her back to the door. I joined her on the front porch as Kelly pulled out of the yard.

Jeryl gave me a quick kiss and then we headed back into the house and ended up in the living room. I flipped the TV on out of nervous habit and sat on the couch as she curled up next to me. I was wondering what we were to talk about when she took the bull by the horns.

“Paul, I was serious when I told my Mom we needed to talk. I’m sorry I was such a baby the past couple of weeks. I don’t know why I was so jealous. You never really gave me any reason to be.”

“But I did,” I said. Before she could get mad again, I hurried to explain what my Mom had told me. “So, by not spending enough time with you, I did give you a reason to feel insecure,” I concluded.

She looked up at me with a serious expression. “You mother is scary smart. Is that where you get your brains from?”

I chuckled. “At least partially. She tells me my father was pretty smart, too. I get my urge to tinker with things from him evidently.”

Her look turned mischievous as the corners of her mouth twitched like she was fighting a smile. “Maybe you can tinker with me a little later, if we can lay some ground rules.”

I gave her a quick kiss. “Like what?”

“I think we need to see each other at least once a week during the week. Mom is pretty strict about homework time, but I don’t have much. With no cheerleading practice, I usually get it done right after school. I do have choir practice with my sisters on Wednesdays, but we take a break over the summer. What about you?”

“Little homework. My last track meet of the year is Friday, so once that is done I’ll be free most evenings. I do need to finish the car, but that should be done this week. Kelly is going to drive it to the inspection station for me next Saturday.”

“Why Kelly?”

“I promised her she could do it if the car was ready before my birthday. Looks like I’ll be done a week early. If I get the car licensed, I can take my driving test in it. That would be cool.”

“God, I wish I didn’t have to wait another six months to get my license,” Jeryl said. “Okay, so in the next couple of weeks, we should be able to see a lot more of each other. That will be nice, but I don’t want to just have us spend time together. I really enjoyed going out with you and John and Ann last fall. I know you haven’t stayed close to many of our classmates, but I’d like you to spend time with some of them as well as with me.”

“Okay, but I want you to spend time with my new friends as well. Lisa and Jim really like you, by the way.”

Her smile lit the room again. “I like them too. Lisa is funny. She reminds me so much of Jordan, though they look nothing alike.”

“I think it’s their manner of knowing what they want and having a clear path to getting it.”

Jeryl nodded. “I wish I knew what I wanted with that much clarity. How do you manage it?”

I was surprised. “Me? You think I do that too?”

“Definitely. Look at how you decided to go out for football. Look at how you focused on your car over the past nine months. Look at how you swayed my parents to let me go out with you again. You know what you want and you don’t let anything get in your way. It’s one of the qualities I really like about you.”

I was dumbfounded. I had never thought of myself as being that focused. “Well, what do you want? Maybe I can help you get there,” I finally said.

“I want to be a good daughter and a good friend and a good cheerleader and a good volleyball player and a good student and a good girlfriend.”

“That’s a lot to be good at. What do you want to be great at?”

The question brought her up short. She started to speak and then stopped. She rested her head on my shoulder for a minute and then looked up again. “I don’t know, but I think I’d like to be a great girlfriend.”

“Why?” I knew focus came from the why, not the what.

Jeryl blushed and put her hand on my chest. “You’ll think I’m silly.”

“Nope. I just want to know why being a great girlfriend is what you want to focus on.”

“Jordan wants to be a pharmacist. Jyl wants to be a doctor. I just want to be a good wife and mother. I have no real desire to change the world, but I want to be part of someone’s life that is that driven; like you are. Helping you change the world is what I want to do.”

I gave her a hug. “I don’t know that I’ll change the world, but I think I understand.”

“You will. Kelly told me you’re coming up with more and more ideas. You’re going to change how America thinks about cars. American thinking will change the world. I know I’m supposed to want to drive similar changes, but that’s not what will make me happy. I at least know myself well enough to know that much.”

I kissed the top of her head. “Then it’s easy. You just need to spend ten percent more time on doing that than you do on anything else.”

“What do you mean?”

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