Chapter 9

Tuesday

The next day things only got worse, as I picked up Tiffany and headed to school, with the press right on my heals shouting questions at me whenever they could get within speaking distance. They setup just outside of school property and even had helicopters flying over trying to get pictures of me during the day. Something obviously had to be done.

I was called to the principal's office during lunch period, and Tiffany followed me in for moral support. Dad was there as well, and neither one of them looked happy.

"Brian, I know that what's happening really isn't your fault, but I can't continue to let it disrupt my school." Principal Morris declared.

I completely agree with you ma'am, and the way I see it I really only have three choices. One, I could try to ignore it; however that solution obviously hasn't worked very well so far. Two I could go into hiding, but quite frankly I've done too much of that in my lifetime already. My third choice is to embrace it." I told them.

"Embrace it?" Principal Morris questioned.

"Yes, I came up with a way to channel this new found popularity I seem to have acquired into a worthwhile goal." I told them.

"Oh shit I know that look!" Dad exclaimed.

"Principal Morris, before today what was the biggest problem facing this school?" I asked.

"That would be our budget, or more specifically the money that the government owes us." She replied honestly.

"So you want to use your fame to try and get them to pay up?" Dad questioned.

"Not at all, that would create a negative image, while my idea is to display a positive one." I told him.

"I don't understand." Principal Morris admitted.

"Well it's really quite simple if you think about it. Dad our busy period is coming up soon, right?" I asked.

"Yes winter usually is a pretty strong time for us." He admitted.

"So how do you plan to capitalize on it?" I wanted to know?

"We generally just have a big sale." He replied.

"The other day I overheard you complaining that certain charitable organizations were refusing to accept our support because they didn't approve of where our money was coming from." I reminded him.

"I'm surprised half the block didn't hear me gripe about that one. I mean can you imagine a group who claims to be hurting for money actually turning down our help just because we sell personal entertainment devises. I mean hell it's not like we're in the mob!" He exclaimed still exasperated at the very notion of their absurdity.

"I completely agree with you, and I think I know of an organization that would be more than happy to accept our money." I said smiling at Principal Morris.

"Brian, even if you and your Dad were generous enough to give us a sizable donation, I'm afraid it still wouldn't be enough to save our sexual education program." She told me dejectedly.

"I know, and that is where my new found popularity will come into play." I replied.

"I've got to hear this." Tiffany said smiling.

"What we need is a fundraiser." I told them.

"Alright, I'll bite, just what sort of fundraiser did you have in mind." Principal Morris asked?

"I want to throw a hen party." I said

"A what," Tiffany asked?

"A hen party, or more specifically a sex toy party." I told them.

"Have you lost your mind? Most of those types of parties are private with only a handful of women in attendance. How would that solve our money crisis?" Principal Morris asked.

"This one is going to be huge, publically open to all women, and even televised. I propose that E-Zone will sponsor the entire event and not only give a discount to whoever makes a purchase while we're on the air, but also donate a portion of all profits made during the party to the schools advanced sexuality program." I explained.

"That's crazy!" Principal Morris exclaimed.

"Yeah, but you've got to admit there is a certain genius behind it." Dad told her proudly.

"I agree with both of you, it's crazy enough that it just might work." Tiffany declared smiling.

"If the party is only for women, how do we justify you and your father being a part of it?" The principal asked.

"Simple E-Zone will be giving paid demonstrations to the ladies attending, with all of the proceeds from it going to the school. The only men allowed inside the party will be certified product demonstrators. Dad and I could each work a booth, and after school, or even possibly during sex Ed. class I could start training other students on how to administer the different devices we sell. Dad and I are already used to doing this, as that's how we teach our employees how to properly demonstrate our products." I explained.

"You could always use the schools phone systems to take donations like a real telethon." Tiffany piped in.

"That's a brilliant idea sweetheart!" I exclaimed proud of my girl for coming up with such a wonderful suggestion.

"Alright, assuming I can sell this crazy notion to the board, do you really think you can pull it off?" Principal Morris asked.