Chapter 48

“Look out for that cupboa...” Oh no! Rob! Not again!

Flashback to the day we met, when he tripped over a line that was lying loose on the deck, and didn’t duck when the boom swung around on a jibe. Knocked himself out cold, and we had to make a trip to the ER.

But this time he just landed on his knees beside the settee, with his face in my ... Oh My! Right there! I never, I mean, I didn’t know if he hurt himself, or if he was unconscious or what, and I didn’t dare move. Then he wiggled his nose, or something, and I didn’t wanna move!

Then he looked up at me with that silly expression on his face, and said, “Owww! We got any ice in the cooler?”

I tried to get up to get the ice, but it dawned on me that he didn’t want me to, right then. “UUUUhhhhhhhh! Rob? SweEEEeety? Oh! Your poor head! What are you doooo ... MMMMmmmHMMM!”

No, he definitely didn’t want me to get him any ice right then!

Maybe heEEat will work? He’s certainly generatOh! Ah! What is he DOOinnnnggg... ?

“Rob? Are you okaAAAAy?”

Rob is definitely okay!

Who knew? Not me! Never been there before! But it looked like fun on the internet, so I might as well take advantage of another lump on the head and try it.

And Andy was right! My “bashful” brother-in-law had asked me if I was ready for this, and he knew Pop and Mom would never have clued me in, so he gave me a couple of internet sites, and actually blushed when he said, “Here’s a couple things Lynette likes, so maybe Kaitlyn will, too, but PLEASE, don’t ever tell her I told you!”

I didn’t know if I wanted to know, but I took a look. Curious me. Let’s see...

Oh. My. God!

LYNETTE?? Lynette likes this stuff ‽‽ My sweet, innocent church-lady little sister likes this stuff‽‽ Here, I felt guilty all that time, taking care of youknowwhat all by myself, and Lynette LIKES this stuff? Then I remembered one night at home, when Mom let her have a slumber party with some girls from Youth Group, and I heard them giggling about something in the Bible. I looked up a couple of places they were shushing each other about, and Sure enough! One place in the Old Testament, by Solomon, and another in the New, where it said that basically, if you’re married to each other, it’s okay!

And we’re married!

To each other!

And this is okay!

This is definitely okay!

And there’s more!

Maybe she’ll like this!

- Yes, it looks like Kaitlyn likes it, too!—

Mom said I’d like it! She blushed when she said it, and wouldn’t elaborate, but she sounded pretty sure I’d like it! And when I see her again, she’s gonna be able to tell that I did – I do! – like it, too! No way I’m not gonna be blushing when she looks at me! Dad, either, or anyone! They’re all gonna know!

And I don’t care! I love my Rob! And I love what he’s doing to me! Maybe we could just stay here for the rest of our lives.

Oh look down there! He’s got a little moustache! Wiggling his eyebrows like Groucho, but he looks a little too much like Hitler. I’ll have to shave the rest of it off. Suzy told me about that little trick! I know, I’m evil, hee hee!

Ooo! Now he’s sliding up over me, got all sticky under my belly button. That’s it! Stick is okay, Rob! Lick it off, and keep coming this way!

Ahhh! No, you can’t put your tongue in an outie! That’s what an innie is for! But yeah, you can do that to it! Who’da thought it? Mmmm, yes!

Now up a little further, sweetie! Yeah! There! Mmmhmm! That’s sort of an outie, and there’s anoOOther one right next to it, too! Needs to get sticky, there!

Ooof! Heaaavy, Sweetie! But I like it! Just kiss me! Again!

And again!

“I feel that! Down there! Wait, lemme move over like thi ... ooof! Ow!

“No! Don’t move! It’s good just like that for a minute. Gotta relax, take a deep breath and, Oooo! I FELT THAT, TOO! Just popped right in there! Kiss me again, Rob, we’ve got all afternoooo ... yeah! We’re in! And I felt that! Just got really hot and slippery down there! But we’re in!

“I’m sorry I giggled, sweetie! Just got a picture of Jeff Goldblum telling Will Smith, ‘We’re in!’ on the alien mother ship! No! Hold still! Wish I could lock it there like the aliens did! It doesn’t hurt now. It so much doesn’t hurt that it feels better than anything I ever felt before!

“Lynette was right!”

But where’d it go?

--Rob hasn’t gone anywhere, he’s right there too—

‘Lynette was right?’ I gotta have a talk with that baby sister of mine!