Chapter 33

Kay's turn:

Rob was acting a little tense when we got home from school, but I thought it was just from stress from his work, on top of everything that's been happening. We got home and got something cold to drink, and George was there with Rob, just sitting at the table. He acted like he was uncomfortable, but said it was just his arthritis kicking up.

We'd been chattering all the way home, excited about being done with college, and I even heard the occasional squeal from Suzy and Richelle. Laurel and I have become close to those two, and we're so glad they both want to continue the relationship they have with us. We chatted about arrangements for the wedding, and I told them I made reservations for my folks for when they come down for graduation, THEN OUR WEDDING! I think I squealed a little, too.

But I knew as soon as we walked in the door, that something was wrong. Rob was a million miles away, and he's just not like that. Sure, listen to me. Only known him for a few weeks and already I'm an expert on how he is.

Anyway, we all got in the apartment and just crashed for a few minutes, mostly to relax after school and the traffic on the ride home. I got a coke, and asked what everyone else wanted, and we all just chilled out. Suzy and Richelle said they were gonna go take a shower and get cleaned up, and maybe go out later, but Rob said, "Wait a minute – got something to tell y'all."

Suddenly I couldn't decipher the look on his face, or the stress in his voice, but I knew it was serious. I think we all did, and we saw him tense up, and take a deep breath, then he looked right at me and said, "I killed Todd this morning."

Back to Rob:

I've heard dead quiet fall over a room before. Everybody's talking, laughing, making conversation, (yeah, that can be different from talking) and maybe someone walks into the room, or drops something, or just says something that stops the world for a few seconds. Was like that this afternoon when we broke the news to the girls.

A preliminary story on the "latest handgun violence" had gone out on the noon news, but it carried no names or real information, promising further details "at five," and the girls had missed it anyway. The evening news hadn't aired yet, so there wasn't much of a way they could have heard about it. We'd been treated and released at the ER, and I wasn't really showing any outward signs of being hurt, and George just claimed his arthritis was bothering him, so the girls were genuinely alarmed and went totally speechless when we sat them down and told them that Todd was dead. Even more so when we filled them in on how and why he and Rabbit came to be occupying adjacent lockers in the morgue.

I thought poor Laurel was gonna pass out, and even Suzy started crying with relief. Richelle didn't say a word, just sat there with her eyes closed, and beside me, my sweet Kaitlyn stared at me in disbelief, then snugged up even closer beside me, and put her head on my shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"And mess up your last day at school? It's all okay, and I figured we'd both feel better if we could all get through the news together. Laurel, are you all right? Suzy?" They both nodded, and we looked at Richelle, who still hadn't moved a muscle, hadn't said a word.

Kay said, "Richelle, are you okay?" Suzy moved over and sat on the floor by her chair, "Sweetie? It's over now. You can relax."

Richelle looked at her, and nodded, and put her head on Suzy's arm. "Yeah, guess so. But still feels like he's gonna hurt us somehow. Got a funny feelin' about that." She shivered, then forced a smile, "Anybody hungry, 'sides me?"

"Order takeout? Or..."

Suzy said, "How about we do some takeout tonight, and maybe tomorrow night go down to that rib place that Laurel and Jake told us about? Dunno if I could handle bein' where there's a lot of people tonight." She turned to Laurel, "You up for that?"

Laurel nodded, and said, "I feel the same way. Just us tonight," she looked around at the rest of us, "okay? Jake'll probably come over, too, especially if he hears the news." She looked at George, "Will they give names and all? Or is it too soon?"

"I imagine they'll give the victims' names, but not too many other details. Too early in the investigation."

"Investigation?" Kay almost sounded indignant. "What's to investigate? Sounds pretty straightforward to me. Todd attacked you guys and you did what you had to do."

George nodded, "True, but they still have to formally determine cause of death, ID the weapon used, see if he was drunk, or on drugs, things like that. Just takes a little time and paperwork." He paused and shook his head, "If only these guys could look ahead and see that the way they're goin' only leads to a bunch of time and paperwork, not to mention grief..." He looked at me, "Dunno if you'll get your piece back or not. Depends on the DA and all. I'd pick up another one, if I was you, and get down to the range as soon as you can. Use up a box or two on targets."

He looked closely at me as he said it, and I realized what he meant. Kay felt me start to shake, and hugged me closer as it finally hit me. Today I killed a man. The fact that he had been trying to kill me was suddenly not as much an issue as the fact that I had killed a man. Taken a life. Deprived a family of someone they in their own way, had loved.

I never heard them come in, but Jake and Renee were suddenly there, both alarmed, hugging Laurel, and saying that they'd heard the news, figured it must have been us, and came right over. I heard Laurel say something to Jake, and then he was there beside my chair, with his hand on my shoulder, steadying me. "Just hold on to what you got, brother, this'll pass." I looked up at him, wondering what he knew about it, and he said, "Been there, done that. And it don't get easier just because you're in a war. Gotta remember that. Had a newbie in the sandbox try to carry a load of guilt after he'd killed a man in a firefight. Got too heavy for him, and slowed him down enough that he didn't make it through the next one. Kept talkin' about how God wouldn't forgive him because of "Thou shalt not kill", and he wouldn't accept that it meant, "Thou shalt not murder". Started thinkin' his fiancée would see him as a murderer. He let it get the best of him, and we lost a good man." He tightened his grip on my shoulder. "You did what you had to do, Rob, and you did it right. No shame. No second guessing." He hesitated, and I looked up, and his voice softened, "I don't wanna lose another one, hear?" I saw the look that flashed across his eyes, like he was seeing or remembering something bad that happened, and I knew he'd been through hell too many times, himself.

Kaitlyn snugged up even tighter to me, "And I don't wanna lose you, either. I love you." She looked over at the girls on the sofa, "You okay, Richelle?" After no immediate response, she said again, "Richelle? Where'd you go?"

Richelle started at that, "Sorry, was a million miles away, trying to figure out what still seems wrong with all this, and I keep comin' back to where we still gotta keep watch for somethin' bad happenin'."

Laurel and Renee were talking quietly in the corner, when the phone rang, and they both jumped. Laurel glanced over at Kay, who gave her a nod, and she answered it. She seemed puzzled for a few seconds, then broke into a big smile, and came over and handed me the phone. "Hector!"

I said hello, and heard, "Rob, my friend! We heard on the news that there has been a shooting, and that Todd Cunningham was involved. I know that you have had troubles with him. Is everyone okay there?"

I told him that yes, we were all okay, and yes, George and I were involved in it. "We're still in shock over it, and some of us are just starting to feel it now."

"I thought that might be the case, Rob. May I come over and chat with you for a while? Perhaps I can help."

I was hesitant at first, but glanced quickly at the different expressions on the faces in the room, especially Renee, when she heard who was on the phone, and I thought it might be good to have him there, just in case. "Yes, that would be good of you, amigo."

He said, "I'll be there in an hour, Rob. And I will bring supper for you."

"Oh, you don't have to do that, Hector, we can go out somewhere, or we can order takeout..."

"It is no problem at all. The ladies are here preparing for our homeless persons ministry, and there is plenty. Please allow us to do this."

"You're too good to us, mi amigo, but we will wait for you." We said goodbye and hung up, and I looked at the girls and said, "Hope y'all like Mexican food, 'cause that's what we're having for dinner!"

Everyone seemed reluctant to be the first to break away from the group, but eventually we all got cleaned up and ready for supper, then waited for Hector.

Laurel's thoughts:

Thank God for friends like Reverend Alvarez! He wants us to call him Hector, but I feel funny calling a reverend by his first name. Guess I'll have to get over that, because he insists on it. Like he said, he is a pastor, but he has a name. I told him I'd work on it, but I know Rob has the same problem. So we'll all work on it together.

Anyway, Rev ... er, Hector came over last night and brought enchiladas, and even some homemade pinto beans, and lots of homemade tortillas, and some great salsa. Was good! Then we just sat and chatted for a couple of hours, and when he left, everyone was feeling better, especially Rob. I know the thing with Todd had been really bothering him, and he would have really been down on himself, second guessing every move he made yesterday morning. We'd all tried to talk to him, but finally it was Hector who got through, and convinced him that no one, not even God, held him accountable for what happened.