Chapter 3: A Shock to the System

Just before Christmas, I was in the big Tacoma Mall, looking for gifts for Mom, Sis, and Calvin. I had found a couple of things I thought they'd like, but I still wanted to look around some more. I was sitting in the food court, munching on a Chinese combo dish. My table looked out over the main passageway in the mall and it was packed with people. Some were taking their lunch hour to do some Christmas shopping, while others were eating or just killing time.

I don't know what it was that caught my eye, but I noticed a woman walking alone in the crowded main area. I only caught a glimpse of her face, but when I did, I was stunned. I was sure it was Mary Simpson. I don't know why I could be so sure. The hairstyle was different, the clothes were very different, and she walked differently. It was a more confident walk. It was her face that made me so sure. I was rising from my seat and beginning to go after her before I even realized who it was.

There was no point in calling out to her. She would never hear me. I had to push my way through the crowds of shoppers in pursuit of her. It was futile. I couldn't see her anywhere ahead of me. Still, I continued on until I got to the end of the mall. Maybe she went into one of the stores. I'd backtrack and see if I could see her in a store. I knew it was a longshot, but I had to try. If it was Mary, what would I do? Would I confront her? Accuse her of having me imprisoned? I couldn't bring myself to believe that she would do such a thing deliberately. That just wasn't who she was.

Maybe it wasn't Mary. Maybe it was someone else. They say everyone has a double, but ... I didn't really think that. It had to be her. She was alive and living somewhere nearby, I assumed. Mary Simpson was alive and, if I could find her, I could find out what had happened to her. All this was going through my mind as I backtracked through the mall, looking in each store on each side of the passage. It was hopeless. Twice security stopped me and asked me what I was doing peering into the women's wear shops. I explained I was looking for my wife and they accepted that.

I was getting discouraged, but I had to try. Her face would haunt me all over again if I couldn't find her. I searched the mall for more than two hours before giving up. It was too big and too busy for me to find a Mary Simpson needle in the Tacoma Mall haystack. I sat in the lounge of one of the mall restaurants and nursed a beer. I was really depressed now. So close and yet so far. Was it really Mary? I wanted it to be, but what if it wasn't her? If it was her, I had a thousand questions I needed answers to. It was the worst possible situation. Like something you desperately wanted being dangled in front of you, but couldn't reach it.

In a moment of clarity, I thought of something. I asked the waitress for a local area phone book. She provided one that covered Tacoma and the towns from Federal Way to Lakewood. There were plenty of Simpsons, but none were Mary, or M.E. Simpson. Perhaps she was married and going by her husband's name. That would make sense. After all, it was years since we had been together, so a woman as attractive as Mary had become would naturally have men interested in her. None of those thoughts helped my mood.

I told my mother that I thought I had seen Mary, but I couldn't be sure. She told me not to get my hopes up. It could easily be a case of mistaken identity. She didn't want to see me hurt again, she said. I didn't say anything to Sis about seeing her. I was beginning to think I was mistaken.

It took a long time for me to get over thinking I saw Mary. At night, my dreams would be filled with her face ... her new face ... the one I saw at the mall. I couldn't convince myself that it was anyone else but her. It must have been her. Why would I have reacted to just a flash moment of seeing her? I knew I was obsessing about her, but I couldn't seem to stop. She was haunting me. She was supposed to be dead and she was haunting me. Was I ever going to be able to get over this?

I went to the mall every day off that I had, weekday or weekend. I went at noon because that is when I had seen her the first time. I began to think it might be that she came at other times. Or perhaps she didn't come very often at all. Maybe my seeing her was just a fluke, a once in a lifetime coincidence. I couldn't bring myself to accept that. I couldn't allow myself to believe that.

It was a Saturday when it happened again. It was late March and the weather was quite blustery with rain showers. I was in a book store, looking at magazines in the flight section. I happened to look up and saw her walking past the store entrance. Again, it was such a short look ... less than a second ... but I was sure it was the same woman. I dropped the magazine and hurried out of the store. The mall wasn't as full as it had been at Christmas, but it was Saturday and there was a good crowd doing their usual weekend shopping. I took off in the direction she had been walking and, within a few seconds, I thought I spotted her. She was wearing a tan raincoat with the collar up and seemed to be headed somewhere with a purpose. What made me confident that it was the same woman was her stride. It was that same confident walk that I had seen last December. I raced after her.

"Mary! Mary Simpson!" I called.

She stopped and turned around, a look of surprise on her face. She saw me clearly now as I slowed and approached her.

"It's you, isn't it Mary? You are Mary Simpson?" I said as I approached.

"No ... I mean ... I'm Mary Hubbard. Is that you, Ruel?" she asked, her hand going to her mouth and her eyes as big as saucers.

"Yeah ... it's me ... Ruel Carter. So ... you really are alive then," I said, wondering how to begin.

"Alive? Yes ... of course I'm alive. Why would you think I wasn't?"

"It's a long story. If you don't know what happened to me, then we both have a lot to find out about what happened."

"I don't understand. I don't know what you are talking about," she said, looking at me carefully.

"We need to talk ... and this isn't the best place for it. Where can we go that's private?" I'm sure I sounded desperate.

"Ruel, you're frightening me. Tell me what this is about."

I took a deep breath and began. "I spent two years in the Nebraska State Prison when I was convicted of murdering you and disposing of your body."

Once again her hand went to her mouth, but this time I saw her eyes roll back in her head. I grabbed her before she fell. I held her close to me until she began to recover. She felt so good in my arms. It seemed like the years had rolled away and we were teenagers again, in each other's arms. Gradually, she came around.

"Where can we go?" she asked. "I'm not thinking very well."

"My car is outside," I said quietly, still holding her. "We can sit in that and maybe we can find out what happened to us."

She nodded silently and I led her toward the main entrance and the parking area. The fresh air seemed to bring her around but she continued to hold my arm for support. We walked slowly and silently toward my vehicle. I held the door for her and she climbed in.

I began to tell her my story. How the sheriff had turned up one morning, arresting me and taking me to jail. The look of horror on Mary's face was unmistakable. She was speechless as I relayed the events that led up to my imprisonment. When I finished, she shook her head in wonder. None of it seemed real to her.

"My parents found out about you and me meeting like we did," she began. "They forbade it. I told them I wouldn't stop seeing you and that we had done nothing wrong. They told me I was possessed by the devil. They told me that I was no longer their daughter and that I was being sent to live with my uncle and aunt in Georgia. I told them I wouldn't go. They said that if I didn't go, they would have you charged with rape and kidnapping. It would be their word against mine. I was scared and naïve. I knew I couldn't let that happen to you. They put me on a bus in Lincoln, gave me a few dollars for food and told me never to come back."