Chapter 9

Alpha Theme

'How? How did they find me?' I asked myself.

The tall man just handed me an envelope and left. He seemed to be used to this, a process server no doubt, but did not say anything after verifying whom I was. I opened the envelope. I was not surprised at what was inside.

It read:

'Ray, we don't really know why you just left us. No explanation, no reasons and more importantly no word from you since then. Why? Why did you leave us?

Please call and tell us you are coming back. We will wait another week to hear from you. We will forgive you and take you back. If not, you're not the only fish in the sea you know!'

It was not even signed. The note almost made me see red. I knew I had been unreasonable but I had to do what I had to do. Up until now, I had taken all the blame. I left merely because I had felt something was not right.

Some of you who live in the real world might know the feeling, that cold sweat running down you face, the feeling that something was not the way it should be or that you were being played the fool. Whatever it is you know there are only a few options then and fight or flee are the two most popular; ask any couple who ended up divorcing which is easier.

They had left me a very simple solution. Sure, I was now upset, with them and myself, but that early feeling of being a 'stud' horse, well groomed, fed and taken care of kept coming back like some kind of curse. It was not that way in the 'Preserve' though. There, it was like being in another world, in another time. There was no doubt in my mind that my time with Leslie and Daphne had been joyous, splendid even, but if I looked back, it was like being drugged or in a dream. The old expression that 'if things seem too good to be true, they may not be".

It was time to move on with my life, my life, as I wanted it, not what anyone else wanted it to be. According to the letter, I had a week or so before anything else from the girls might take place. 'Damn' I thought why I was so uncertain of what I had done. Just thinking about their 'fish in the sea' comment brought the axiom to mind as working both ways. I had easily 'fallen' for Wendy here; there was no reason to think that I would not find someone else.

Where to go, where to go? I had been on my way to California before, maybe I should go there now. I was hungry, saw a diner and decided a burger, fries and a shake sounded just fine. There was an old woman, I immediately thought of a 'bag lady' but she just was old. I stopped by her, far enough away so as not to frighten her, and asked if she would join me for some food, as I needed an impartial opinion on a few things.

She laughed and said, "Sonny if you're trying to pick up an old lady, you should know you could do better, your not too bad looking!"

I had to laugh too. Looking I could clearly see that some time ago she would have been a handful for anyone. She had a gleam in her eyes and such a soothing voice that it made her seem ageless now.