Chapter 70: Match-Making

When I was finally able to think again, we were still joined, Alistair's face buried in my neck, his weight on his elbows to avoid crushing me. He attempted to roll off me, but I held on, wrapping my arms and legs around him.

"Stay. Just for a minute. Please?"

"You can't even breathe down there."

"Can so, or I wouldn't be talking. I just ... I like feeling your weight on me. It feels so safe."

"Yes, you're safely being crushed to death." His tone was half-joking, half-worried, but he stayed, holding himself above me with what seemed like superhuman effort. When I finally relaxed, he rolled onto his side, pulling me with him to cuddle up against him, legs intertwined. My hands were still shaking, my pulse pounding, and I breathed slowly, trying to calm down.

"That was..." I couldn't think of a single word that would suffice.

"Intense? Profound? Impassioned?"

"Nice. Putting that Chantry education to good use, I see."

He stroked my hair absent-mindedly. "Well, yes. I might as well use it for something, I suppose."

I giggled. "I'm sure the Grand Cleric would be so proud right now."

"Especially if she could see us like this." He gestured down at our naked, entangled limbs.

"If she saw us like this, she'd no longer be a problem; she'd have a stroke and die."

He laughed. "Have I told you I love you? Not just for," he gestured again, "this, but because you're willing to wander down these ridiculous paths in my imagination with me." I felt him kiss my hair.

"So I'm guessing you've been talking to Zev some more? Taking charge like that..."

"Too much? I'm sorry if I-"

I interrupted. "No. It was wonderful. I like commanding Alistair. It just seems like something Zev would have encouraged."

"Not exactly. I mean, he never stops talking about sex, and he's certainly mentioned the utility of massage in love-making enough times, but ... I guess I'd sort of been day dreaming about what I would do with you if I ever got the chance. Call it payback for that day, in Denerim, when you teased me for so long..."

I giggled. "If that's all it takes to trigger something like this, I'm going to tease you more often, I think."

"Minx."

"Yeah, well, what can I say? You're irresistible. And funny. And gorgeous. And not bad in bed, overall." I sat up and leaned over him, running my eyes down his chiselled physique before settling on his member, again – or still – erect.

"Not bad?" He sounded hurt.

I grinned and winked. "I think you could benefit from some practice."

In the morning, I woke to find Alistair watching me. I smiled and blushed, and he leaned over to kiss me softly.

"Good morning," I rasped, voice thick with sleep.

"Good morning, my love." He kissed me again, and I snuggled into the kiss dreamily.

"Any morning I get to do this," I began, punctuating each word with a kiss, "is a good one."

He pulled me to lay with my head on his shoulder, my leg coming up to cross his naturally. "You're going to have Duncan recruit Loghain, aren't you?" He didn't sound angry, just curious.

I took a deep breath, suddenly anxious. "Yes."

"Why?"

I went up on my elbow so I could look down at him. "Because someone is going to die to kill the Archdemon, and I don't want it to be you. Or Aedan."

"Joining the Wardens isn't meant to be a punishment. Loghain killed almost all of our order; why would you want to fight alongside him?" His brow furrowed, but truly in confusion, not anger.

I sighed. "It isn't a punishment, Alistair, but it isn't a reward, either. The Wardens take everyone. Did Duncan ever tell you the circumstances of his conscription?" He shook his head. "He was recruited from the gallows. He killed a Grey Warden. Not on purpose, exactly – he was trying to rob the man, and got caught – but he did it, all the same. The Wardens take everyone, even those who murder Grey Wardens, if they can be useful. And Loghain could be useful. If nothing else, as one more body to put between you and the Archdemon in the pecking order."

"Do you know why he did it? Why he abandoned Cailan and the army?"

"Not really. In game he just says he did what he thought was right. Honestly, I think his paranoia about Orlais drove him mad. And he believed Cailan was going to sell out to Celene. There were rumours he was going to put Anora aside and marry the Empress. Loghain was wrong, to do what he did ... but I've come to realise he actually did believe he was doing what was best, misguided as he was."

Alistair pulled me down to lay against his chest again. "Okay."

"Okay?"

"I can ... I can live with that. Although I hold out hope he'll be killed in the battle."

I laughed. "Fair enough."

"Do you think Cai ... Theron will allow it?"

"I think Duncan can be persuasive when he needs to be."

Alistair snorted, and we settled in to snuggle quietly, at least until my stomach started growling again. We'd eaten all the food Alistair had liberated from the kitchen, so reluctantly I crawled out of bed.

Alistair ran interference while I scooted down the hallway in rumpled clothes to reach my own bedroom. I was thankful that all of us had been given rooms in the same guest wing. Eamon was the only one who I really didn't want to see me like that; things were already antagonistic enough between us. No one else would have been upset, but still, we wanted to control how we informed everyone of our renewed relationship; being caught wearing yesterday's clothes was not the way we planned it.

I was tired, but thanks to my Grey Warden stamina, I'd be able to function. I was going to need one of those little potions for discomfort, though, and I didn't have Zev around to ask, so I had to find something somewhere else. I cleaned up quickly and donned my armour, deciding I'd see if I could steal one of Wayne's bottles, or if not, head down to the village and hope someone there sold them. And that no one saw me limping on the way there, especially Alistair. I liked what we did – especially when he made me ache – far too much to risk him getting nervous about hurting me.

After snagging an apple, a hunk of bread, and a large slice of cheese from the main hall which was, thankfully, empty but for a handful of servants cleaning up, I found Wayne in the training yard, as usual. He grinned at me good-naturedly when I complained of being sore from sparring the day before. He gave me an interesting look, but didn't hesitate to rummage through a cabinet and hand me a vial filled with brownish-red liquid. I tipped it back, returning the empty vial, and felt the almost-immediate relief soak in.

"Forgive me, my Lady, but don't you have a mage travelling with you? A healer?"

I flushed. "Well, yes, but I hate to bother her with such minor things..."

He rolled his eyes. "Who're you hiding from, deary?"

"What?"

"Healers, in my experience, are never 'bothered' by being asked to heal. So you're trying to hide your injuries, either from her or from someone she might tell. So, which is it?"

I hesitated. "Both?"

He laughed. "I'm guessing I should stop prying and just give you instructions for how to make your own, hmm?"

I flushed again and nodded; he spent the next half hour teaching me how to dry and grind elfroot, and the half-hour after that teaching me how to recognise it. I almost asked him where he trained in herbalism, but managed to clamp my mouth shut before the question escaped. I thanked him profusely, giving the old scamp a kiss on the cheek; he chuckled and patted my shoulder as I left. I finally headed back inside to have a late second breakfast. Having to hide my Grey Warden appetite was getting annoying, and I ended up splitting my meals, hoping no one noticed that I kept eating twice.

Most of my companions were in the main hall, either eating or digesting their breakfast; I sat down between Alistair and Tomas and grabbed myself a plate. I felt Alistair's hand brush my thigh, and struggled not to blush. Tomas gave me a strange look, but I just shrugged. It felt weird, being all together but without Aiden or Zevran, and I said as much; everyone agreed, Alistair even going so far as to admit that, at times, he missed the Antivan's jokes.

Theron was there with Blake in tow, and the youngster enthusiastically regaled me with tales of his fabulous room – actually a small storage closet with a tiny window, cleaned out for the occasion – and of learning from Theron. He'd managed to help the king into his armour once, and was excited to try again later. I smiled indulgently, glad that it seemed the kid enjoyed his newfound profession. He'd apparently run into the Arlessa while on an errand, and I was pleased to hear that she ignored his existence entirely. Maybe she'll learn yet.

Teagan arrived and invited me to visit the orphanage with him; I squeezed Alistair's hand surreptitiously before running off to change out of my armour and drop off the supplies I'd been given by Wayne. The Bann offered me his arm as we walked down into the village, and I took it with a laugh.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing. It's just ... there's not a lot of chivalry where I come from. Half of the women back there think it's a terrible offense if a man holds the door for them – they say it infringes on their autonomy or something. So I'm just not used to the way men are in Ferelden. It constantly surprises me."

"Does it bother you? Men holding doors or offering their arm?"

"No, not at all. It's sweet. And makes me feel all girly, which is sort of weird, but nice."

He laughed. "Girly? You don't usually feel girly?"

"Before I came to Ferelden, I hadn't been in a skirt or dress in ... years, anyway. A lot of years. And I was fat. I didn't feel girly, and certainly no one treated me that way. It just surprises me sometimes."

"Well, I hope you aren't offended, because every nobleman in Thedas is going to treat you like that – even the pigs like Vaughan Kendalls. The unmarried ones will flirt with you, even if they aren't actually interested, and-"

"Like you?" I interrupted.

He flushed, and then laughed. "Caught me. Though I'm embarrassed at having been found out. As I was saying, the married ones will try to win your favour to marry you to their son."

"I still don't understand why."

"Because you're a beautiful woman?"

"I wasn't fishing for compliments, you know. I mean, why me? I'm no one. Not even a Fereldan. Not a noble. None of them could marry me, even had I the desire."

"You wouldn't be the first woman elevated to nobility through marriage. Not to mention that after the Landsmeet you could be elevated on your own. If you even need to be – you are, after all, a Cousland."

I blushed. "Oh, you heard that, did you?"

"You call Aedan 'brother' all the time."

"Oh. Um, yeah. Woops."

"Why are you ashamed of that?"

"I'm not!" I ran a hand through my hair. "I just ... I don't have proof. Aedan may accept me, but I'm not so naïve to believe that anyone else will. I don't know the first thing about being a noble in Ferelden, except that apparently acting haughty is expected. I don't know the politics, and I wouldn't know where to start at running a household, never mind anything bigger than that."

"You might be surprised. The Landsmeet will believe what Theron tells them to, especially if Eamon and Aedan back him up. And you said you're a business woman, right?"

"Consultant. I get brought in by large businesses that are failing, to see if there's anything to salvage. If I say no, they close down; if I say yes, I have a period of time and a budget to see what I can accomplish. Either way, I put myself out of a job and have to start again."

"And you don't think that would enable you to see to an Arling, for example? Analyse the business, the trades and farms and workers, fix what doesn't work, cut your losses when necessary ... you'd probably be a better Bann than I am. My Seneschal has to do most of that for me. And Loghain probably doesn't even know what products his Teyrnir trades."

"Lumber," I muttered.

"See? You're already one step ahead."

"Why are you telling me this? It won't even matter."

"Look, consider yourself forewarned. Assuming you manage to stay here in Ferelden, I think it's safe to assume you'll end up with a title of some sort. Maybe as a Cousland, or maybe on your own, maybe through who you marry. But a title is almost a guarantee, for service to the Crown if nothing else."

"I don't want a title! And I'm not going to marry some Bann, or something."

"No, you won't. You'll marry a Prince."

I stopped and turned, gaping at Teagan. "Wait, what? What are you talking about?"

"I saw you last night, going into Alistair's room. Mine's just down the hall, you know."

I blushed, cheeks crimson. "Oh?" He nodded, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Oh. Damn. Uh ... listen, could you not, like, tell anyone? We will soon enough, but I think Aedan should get the chance to hear about it first."

"I'm pretty sure I was the first to hear about it, actually."

If I had thought my face was burning before, now it was a flaming inferno. "Teagan!"

"Sorry, my Lady. Couldn't resist."

"I'm so embarrassed."

"Trust me, it's fine. I'm thrilled for you both, actually. You'll be good for each other."

I smiled gratefully. "I hope so. But he's not a Prince."

"Yet."

I rolled my eyes, and we walked the rest of the way to the orphanage in silence.