Chapter 48: Overprotection

When I woke, Alistair was creeping into the room, and I startled him when I sat up. Laughing and clutching his chest, he lit a couple more candles and came in. I helped him off with his breastplate – I could barely lift the thing, so it was a bit difficult for him to take off alone, though I knew he could manage. He told me he and Wynne had wandered the market, and he thought he had located Gorim for me. He promised to take me there with Aedan the following morning. Otherwise, Wynne had bought a few things, they had browsed the Wonders of Thedas, and then eaten lunch and come back.

"We went one other place while we were out."

"Oh?"

"You never mentioned that Goldanna was a gold-digging harridan." His tone was light, but his expression was irritated.

I sighed. "Oh, Alistair. I didn't want you to know. I figured since she wasn't actually your sister that you wouldn't have to meet her and be exposed to her shrewishness. I hoped you could keep vaguely happy memories of believing you had a sister. I'm sorry." I suddenly worried I'd have to choose whether to 'harden' him, until I realised that in this altered history, he didn't need it. He was much more confident, had less survivor's guilt, and didn't have that same urge to sacrifice himself for a cause. He wouldn't need to take the throne; he didn't need encouragement to be more selfish. I smiled.

I reached out and took his hand, and he let me. "I should have told you."

He squeezed my hand and smiled softly at me. "I love you. But would you stop trying to protect me?"

"Never. Dare I ask how much coin you gave her?"

"None, actually. You should have seen Wynne when she started moaning about mouths to feed. Besides, I didn't have that much coin on me. I left most of it here, and then between buying Wynne's supplies, and ... well, anyway I didn't give her anything."

He was blushing as I encouraged him to lay down and cuddle with me on the bed, and I wondered what he wasn't saying, until he dropped a small box onto the bed between us.

"I bought you something."

"You did? Why? I mean, thank you! That sounded really ungrateful. But is there some special occasion I'm missing?"

He chuckled. "Not at all. I just wanted to."

I picked up the box nervously. "No one has ever bought me anything for no reason before."

"All the more reason for me to do it now."

I leaned in and kissed him, and then turned back to the box. Inside was a delicate silver rose pendant, complete with thorns on the stem, on a sturdy but beautiful silver chain. I stared at it, shocked. It almost exactly matched my tattoo on my Earth body. It was amazing.

I looked up to see him looking a bit anxious. "Alistair, it's ... it's gorgeous! I love it. Where did you find something so beautiful?"

"There was a silversmith in the market. I saw it yesterday and had him put the clasp on it and put it on a chain. I just thought it could be like ... a reminder." We shared a smile, thinking back a few weeks to when he'd given me the rose.

"I don't need a reminder, I still have that rose. It's still perfectly preserved. But I love this. It is beautiful, and you are sweet." I pulled him into a deeper kiss, then finally sat up and lifted my hair so he could put the chain around my neck. It nestled perfectly into the hollow of my throat. He stroked it with his fingers as he kissed me again, and I purred.

Pulling away once we were both breathless, he gestured to the mess of papers I had scattered on the table near the door. I reached over and grabbed them, showing them to Alistair. He read my letters, asking me more questions about Hawke and her companions in Kirkwall. I told him as much of the story as I could remember, though my memory of the second Dragon Age game was somewhat hazy – I'd only ever played it through once, and it hadn't held the same appeal as the first. But I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't at least try to avert some of the tragedy. I avoided telling him about Anders and Justice. I wasn't sure why, but it felt like another one of those secrets that weren't mine to tell.

"Do you think Howe's son will really come back?"

"I'm not even sure I can get the letter to him. Just a name, with the address being 'the Free Marches' isn't terribly specific. And I'm not sure he could do anything if he did come back. But if he doesn't, and Aedan kills Howe, which he will, he will try to kill Aedan. I'd rather avoid that, if I can. Nate's not a bad guy. I want him to understand why his father has to pay for his actions."

He hugged me again, and then we turned to my list of weird things about Sierra. He didn't have any other ideas, but just the fact that I'd shared it with him and he hadn't run away was comforting. We lay together and just cuddled for a bit more of the afternoon before heading to the dining room together for supper. Aedan, Zev and Leli were waiting for us, all freshly bathed, and Wynne as usual had her nose buried in a book. I stepped over to her to give her an appreciative hug for protecting Alistair from Goldanna for me, and she smiled and patted my shoulder.

While we ate supper, Aedan told us about the guard schedule and floor plan information they'd managed to glean from the house Marjolaine was staying in. Zev had snuck up to peek through the windows, and they had taken turns watching the place all day. It was on the edge of the market district, pretty upscale, really, and quite well guarded, though they'd found a few holes in the security to exploit. They planned to take her down the following afternoon, when the guards switched and one usually left to get the others their meals.

That was when the fight began.

Aedan insisted that I stay at the Pearl while they took care of Marjolaine. Leliana and Alistair agreed, to my annoyance.

"Sierra, you know how you feel about fighting people. If you go in there, at minimum you're going to have to watch us do it, and if things go poorly you may even have to fight. I don't want your guilt on my hands."

"Aedan, you're going to be facing at least two mages in there. Alistair can't handle both, and besides he'll be busy swinging that big shield of his around. I can stay out of the melee, but at least let me neutralize one of the mages. I promise I'll leave once it's done. But I'm not staying here to worry about you all when I could help. It's bad enough when you guys are doing Chanter's board stuff or working with Sergeant Kylon."

"Sierra..."

"Forget it, Aedan."

Leliana, in desperation, tried to drag Zevran into it. "You haven't chimed in yet, what do you think, Zev? Sierra should stay here and be safe, no?"

"I don't know about that, oh most beauteous bard."

I gave him a grateful smile, but Aedan gave an indignant squawk and I knew there would be problems between them later. I tried to save Zev from himself, but he just kept talking.

"Things are only going to get more difficult from here. Between Loghain, and Howe, and the dwarves, and miles of Deep Road ... it can't but help to have Sierra actually battle-ready, since you have said it's impossible to leave her behind. I think she needs to be given a chance, in a real fight. Even if she just stands back and neutralizes a mage. It's not that we can't do it without her – we are ridiculously awesome, after all – but we shouldn't."

I was impressed at his succinct summary of the situation. And of course, he was right; they wouldn't always be able to protect me. Not that I was some sort of blood-thirsty idiot; I was still nauseous when I thought about trying to actually stab a real person with my daggers, but if I was going to be stuck in this world – if I wanted to be stuck in this world – I had to learn to live in it.

Alistair had the good sense to keep his mouth shut during the discussion. I knew he'd want me to stay out of it, but he knew better than to openly say it, at least where I could hear.

"Aedan. Stop protecting me. You have to let me live, too. I'll stay in the next room. But I'm coming."

Very reluctantly he nodded, and I sighed. Big brothers can be a total pain in the ass! I smiled.

"So we go meet Gorim in the morning, Marjolaine in the afternoon ... maybe drop by and see how Wade is coming with our armour in between?"

Everyone agreed. Dinner finished, Wynne decided to stay and read. Leliana planned to go play some more music in the common room – apparently Sanga had even offered to pay her to do it; Aedan and Zevran made noises about going to their room, but given they were the only ones still in armour, it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that they were going skulking around the city. I worried, but knew there was nothing I could do. And of everyone I'd ever met, those two could take care of themselves.

Alistair and I were left, and we decided to head to our room. I think he realised I needed a distraction from worrying about Aedan. He kissed my neck while I unlocked the door, and I tried to relax. We were still in that slightly awkward stage where we knew we wanted each other naked at every possible opportunity, but were too embarrassed to just go ahead and do it, so we stood looking at each other and avoiding eye contact for a painful few moments. Finally I cleared my throat, desire winning over fear.

"So. You said that you would do anything I asked. Did I hear that right? Anything?" I smiled a smug, wicked grin.

Alistair's pout was cute. "Yes, I did. I get the feeling I'm going to regret that, though. Am I?"