Chapter 36: Ambush and Aftermath

We wandered back to camp for supper, as we didn't have enough food in our picnic to stay away, and enjoyed more general teasing and banter while eating. Aedan and Zevran actually took the brunt of the teasing, much to my enjoyment. I didn't think I'd ever seen Aedan blush so red. I refused to budge from Alistair's lap, sitting with my back to his chest, his arms around me, and his chin on my shoulder. Periodically he would turn and kiss me on my cheek or whisper something in my ear, and that kept me so distracted I barely noticed any teasing that came our way. At bedtime, he walked me to my tent again, and it was less awkward this time; he kissed me deeply, leaving me breathless yet again. As I lay in my bedroll, frustrated and horny, I desperately hoped he would make a move soon, or my head might explode. At least this time I managed to pee and brush my teeth before bed!

We continued on to Denerim in the morning, but suddenly travelling was a whole new thing. I walked hand-in-hand with Alistair, and got to talk with him the entire time, instead of avoiding him like I usually did. He was hilarious, his 'witty one-liners' keeping me in stitches most of the time that we walked. It made the day pass faster, and the little rest we'd taken the day before meant we actually made better time than normal. We chatted with Aedan, Zevran, Leliana, and Wynne periodically as we walked, but never let go of each other's hand. It was a heady feeling. He's mine. I'm his. What did I do to deserve this?

Camp got back to a semblance of normal, and I started sparring again with Aedan, with Zevran's help and advice. Alistair looked pretty tense until it became obvious that Aedan was pulling his punches, not allowing me to get hurt, and Zevran even kept his hands to himself. Will wonders never cease? After supper, Alistair and I decided to train a bit. I got my focus fast, was able to do the exercises he'd showed me, and his pleased smile was worth every ounce of concentration I'd spent and the headache I knew I'd have afterwards. It was a little more distracting trying to practice while holding Alistair's hand, sitting where I could feel the heat radiating off his body, but I managed not to jump him and called it a victory. After practice, we cuddled and kissed for a while before reluctantly parting to go to sleep.

The next day brought the ambush from Marjolaine's hired goons that I'd been waiting for. I huddled in a ball, frightened as usual, while the rest of my companions decimated the little group of mercenaries. We got the address to Marjolaine's hideout, and Alistair rushed over to me to make sure I was okay. Which, of course I was – it's hard to get hurt when you lay down and cry every time violence breaks out. I was embarrassed; he thought it was sweet. He'd have cuddled me, but his armour was covered in blood spatter and I had to look away until he'd cleaned up. Zevran rolled his eyes theatrically in my direction, but I noticed he hadn't wasted any time getting the gore off his own armour. I stuck my tongue out at him and earned myself a chuckle.

As we walked, Alistair, holding my hand, slowed us until we were a dozen steps behind everyone, then pitched his voice low.

"I'm sorry, Sierra. I hate it when you see me like ... that."

I looked at him quizzically. "Pardon? Like what?"

"Well, I know the violence makes you sort of sick. I hate the thought of you associating me with that. I wish you didn't have to see me fighting. And stuff."

"Oh, honey. I'm not bothered by it. I may abhor the violence, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to defend us when we're attacked. I don't think you will turn into some sort of psycho and go murder people in their sleep, or anything. I don't have anything against self-defense. I'm just too much of a pansy to help out, which is disgusting, actually. I need to harden up a bit, I know that."

"Don't. Please." His expression was sincere, his hazel eyes piercing. "You wouldn't be you if the bloodshed didn't bother you. I don't want you to become that cynical person who is immune to it. I wish I hadn't. It weighs on me, even when I know it's necessary to kill someone to defend us. I don't want you to live with it. Let us defend you."

I pulled him down for a kiss, and felt his armoured arms wrap around my waist gently. "So what you're saying is you have a thing for pansies?"

"Just one."

I gave him an Eskimo kiss, rubbing his nose with mine, which made him chuckle, and then took his hand again and pulled him along to catch up. "I haven't agreed not to try to learn how to defend, just so we're clear."

He rolled his eyes. "I'm aware."

I actually skipped for most of the rest of the day, much to everyone's amusement. Alistair just grinned at me indulgently, which got him teased by Aedan and Zevran, but he didn't even seem to notice. And I certainly didn't care. I hadn't been that happy since ... ever, actually. Even Morrigan's dirty look when I bounced around her at lunch couldn't dampen my mood, especially since I was half-convinced it was fake. And I was pretty sure the scorching kisses Alistair kept laying on me periodically when he thought no one was looking were causing dampening elsewhere... so inappropriate, Sierra!

We made decent time over the next couple of days, even if I got definitely insufficient sleep. Between staying up late cuddling and canoodling with Alistair, and then lying awake in my tent, horny and unable to do anything about it because of Aedan right next to me, I was strongly wishing for a Diet Coke to give me the caffeine boost I needed. Coffee had never been my thing, and the tea in Ferelden tasted largely like ass. Despite that, leaving my tent every morning to see Alistair waiting for me with a smile that could light up the night sky kept me energetic and perky. I guess love really is all you need. I had to admit I was jealous of the Grey Warden stamina though – Alistair didn't even look tired, though I assumed he'd been getting as little sleep as I. Maybe more though, if he was able to take care of the... oh, that's a mental image I don't need right now Sierra!

We hit one darkspawn patrol on our way to Denerim. Aedan and Alistair had been feeling a group of them slowly coming closer for hours, and realising we weren't going to be able to skirt around them, we decided to ambush them for once. Morrigan scouted around and found the darkspawn, then led us to a defensible position in the trees where we could wait for them. I was behind everyone, protected; Morrigan had changed into a spider in the trees somewhere, and Zev was hiding somewhere to hit them from behind. Alistair pulled me directly behind him; had it been practical, I think he'd have had me holding onto the back of his armour the entire time. It was sweet, but still frustrating.

Finally the group of darkspawn emerged in front of us, somewhat shocked to see our entire group arrayed out waiting for them. They outnumbered us, but that wasn't uncommon, and didn't really concern me. What did concern me was a large group of archers in the back, and the aura of magic I could feel prickling my spine, even though I couldn't see the source.

"Emissary. Maybe more than one." I rubbed my arms, trying to settle the goose bumps that had formed. It was definitely a stronger aura than just Wynne by herself.

Leliana immediately began picking off archers, while Wynne protected the group from their arrows. The front line smashed into the melee-weapon-wielding darkspawn, both genlocks and hurlocks, and Morrigan and Zevran came out of hiding to bite into their backs. Useless, frustrated, I scanned the field hoping to at least pinpoint the caster before he could throw any major offensive spells. Frustrated, I slipped out from between Alistair and Wynne, ignoring Alistair's hissed warning. I snuck into the bushes, watching closely for any signs that the darkspawn noticed my movements; it seemed they were still ignoring me. I crept forwards, past those engaging Alistair, past Zevran, and over towards the archers, where I could feel the aura emanating.

Leliana had done a good job; only two archers remained, and one of them dropped with a well-placed arrow as I snuck around it. I pulled my daggers and slashed at the other archer, jumping out of the way and avoiding the spray of blood as it fell. I finally found the Emissary, huddled behind the body of one of the archers. I wasn't sure why it hadn't attacked, but it was casting something, chanting in a strange tongue, and I assumed it was either protecting itself or buffing its companions. It didn't seem to see me approach, and without even thinking, I reached out with my mind and seized its mana the way I had thought I had done previously with the Emissaries at Ostagar and with Uldred and friends. But instead of releasing it in an explosion accidentally, I continued to hold the mana as I pressed my dagger against the darkspawn's throat.

The creature hissed at me as its eyes widened in shock.

"Hello pretty."

I forced it to stand, and, still holding its mana, I marched it back towards my companions at knife point. It tried to talk to me in its strange hissing voice, but I ignored it. I wanted to see if Alistair could do what I was doing, and without risking harm to one of our mage companions, this was the best way that suddenly presented itself.

My friends were mopping up the rest of the darkspawn as I approached with my hostage. Suddenly the creature, still without mana, was surrounded by half a dozen blades in addition to my own.

"Sierra!" Alistair shouted, and I winced slightly. "Andraste's flaming sword, what do you think you are doing?"

"Look, yell at me later. I need to show you this. You asked me to train you if I figured out how to do what I do. Well, this is the only way I could come up with. Can you feel this?" Somehow, I released a tiny trickle of mana back into the Emissary. Alistair's brow wrinkled as he concentrated on what I was doing.

"I can ... how are you doing that?"

I pulled the tiny amount of mana back into myself as he paid attention, and then did it again. Surrounded as it was, the creature didn't even try to take advantage of the trickle of mana, but just sort of slumped its shoulders and stood still.

"Can you feel it? Can you try?" I released a tiny amount of mana, and watched as Alistair was able to get a handle on it. Slowly I transferred more and more of the power, until we each held half.

Alistair's eyes were wide, his mouth open in wonder. "I don't think the Chantry knows about this ability."

Aedan snorted, and traded a grin with me. "I vote we don't tell them."

"Okay, so ... now what? What do you do with it, once you have it like this?" Alistair still looked dumbfounded.

I grimaced. "That part I'm not totally clear on, to be honest. It's always been borne of necessity, so I never had a chance to see what I was doing. But after practicing with you, I thought I could do this on purpose to show you, and I was right."

"So what are we going to do with all this?" Alistair gestured, helplessly, and I shrugged.

"No idea."

Aedan spoke. "Kill it and then we don't have to worry about it?"

Before anyone could even reply, Sten had swung his massive great sword over his head and decapitated the Emissary. He'd aimed well; not a drop of blood landed on any of us. I turned to wipe my blades off, when I was suddenly grabbed by two different sets of hands, one on each arm. I looked up to see Aedan on one side, Alistair on the other, both with very, very angry expressions.

I tried to forestall the scolding. "Hey! I'm probably safer not standing with you guys, okay? They can't see me, so my chances of being hit by a stray arrow go down. And we needed that Emissary dead."