Chapter 34: Complications

"So ... now what?"

I leaned away again to look up at his face, one eyebrow raised. "Alistair! If you suggest that we skip past the awkward part and go straight into the steamy bits, I'm going to take you up on the offer, out of spite if nothing else. You just be careful what you say next."

"I ... well, the thought did cross my ... hey, wait! I told you to stop stealing my lines." We giggled together. "What I actually meant was, what do we tell everyone? They all gossip, you know that."

"First smart comment and I feed them to the darkspawn." It had to be said. And I wanted to hear him say it again. Yeah, I'm fishing.

"See? This is why I love you."

My heart skipped a beat when he said it, leaving me with a queer butterfly sort of feeling that was horribly wonderful. My face turned serious. "I love you, too. I've never said those words before, to anyone. I love you, Alistair."

"We're quite the pair, then, aren't we? We have to fight for months to admit we love each other, and we can both barely say the words without our heads popping off."

I grinned. "I've been thinking it long enough, I'm sure I can get comfortable saying it. Eventually."

"How long, exactly, have you been thinking it?" Even with a shit-eating grin he was gorgeous. Damn you!

"So, totally, not telling. Ever. And you can just put those puppy-dog eyes away, because it's not going to work. No, no, no!" I closed my eyes, refusing to look, and he broke out laughing.

"So you didn't really answer the question. About what we're going to do about everyone else."

"Well, I guarantee Aedan and Zevran already know."

"They do? Damn that sneaky assassin-"

I cut him off with a kiss. "No, no. He might be out here too, but I'd bet my boots Aedan is. I'm his sister, remember?"

"Riiight. I sort of forgot about that for a moment. So ... is he going to kill me?"

The subject of our discussion stepped out of the woods to stand over us, and we both jumped. "Not unless you hurt her, Alistair." Aedan made a serious intimidating face. I giggled and he scowled.

"I, uh, will try very hard not to."

"See that you do." Aedan grinned, leaned over and kissed the top of my head, and disappeared again.

"Does he know how creepy that is when he does that?"

"I heard that!" came floating back to us faintly.

"Sod off, brother dearest!"

We listened until the laugh faded into the woods, then looking at each other, made an unspoken agreement to whisper.

"I suspect Leliana knows. That song tonight was a setup if I've ever seen one."

"Yeah ... about that. The flirting? Utterly faked. I was upset and sort of ... whined at her, and she suggested jealousy might work. It was ... stupid. And it totally failed; you didn't get jealous."

"Oh, yes I did. I wanted to rip her hair out. But ... if she'd made you happy..." I trailed off. "It hurt, but you deserve it."

"And you don't?" He saw the truth written on my face when he tilted my chin up so I couldn't hide. "Oh, Sierra. You do. And I'm going to do my damnedest to prove it to you." He pulled me into a tight hug, and I realised we fit together, somehow, my head tucked into the curve where his neck met his shoulder, his arms wrapped around me. I was quite content to just sit like that for as long as he'd let me. Suddenly we were in the dark as the flashlight lost its charge.

"The song was a setup," he confirmed. "So was your conversation in your tent earlier."

"What?" That got my attention. I sat up, frowning.

"She ... I didn't realise it until after, but she made sure my tent was close enough to hear what you guys talked about. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't have eavesdropped, really, it was all Leliana."

"So you ... heard all that?" I was glad the flashlight had died, so he couldn't see how purple my face had become.

" ... yeah."

"Oh, uh. Now that's embarrassing. I'm going to kill Leliana. You weren't supposed to hear that."

"So I gathered. I'm glad I did though, and I know why she did it. My, uh, self-esteem wasn't exactly doing well - you didn't seem to be getting jealous the way she said you would, and you worked so hard to avoid me, and ... I started to think that maybe you were just trying to let me down slowly, that you just didn't want me..."

"I admitted that I loved you!"

He shrugged. "I know. I just ... was so down on myself, all of a sudden, I didn't believe you, I guess. Leliana was trying to convince me, and it wasn't working, so ... she arranged that little tent chat."

"I'm still going to kill her."

"Seems fair. Although ... it worked. I would never have had the confidence to come out here, otherwise."

"Fine. I'll give her a hug, then I'll kill her." We both chuckled and returned to talking about our companions.

"Wynne isn't stupid, so if she doesn't know, she will in five minutes, even if we tried to hide it."

I nodded. "Agreed. And the rest aren't going to care one way or the other."

"So we just ... tell everyone?"

"Nah. We just act like nothing happened, like we've been together forever, and act stupid if anyone draws attention to it."

He grinned. "Sounds like fun. But ... do we have to go back yet?"

Even in the dark I could feel his puppy dog eyes on me.

"No, love. Not yet." I let myself be pulled into another kiss, moaning softly as his hands returned to my hair, kneading my scalp. His tongue touched my lip softly. I pulled back, briefly channeling Bridget Jones. "Nice men don't kiss like that!"

"Oh yes they sodding do," he growled, and pulled me back in again as I giggled.

After an eternity, certain that my lips were swollen from kissing and my hair disastrous from him running his fingers through it, I suggested we head back to camp. He sighed heavily, but agreed. I grabbed the rose - Alistair admitted he'd bribed Morrigan to preserve it after Lothering - and the flashlight, and we carefully worked our way back to camp. We had to climb over multiple roots and fallen trees - how I'd gotten through here in the dark without falling was a mystery - and Alistair held my hand, helping me over each one. I was practically dizzy at how fast I'd gone from lonely and heartbroken to in love and taken care of.

Everyone was still gathered around the campfire, and Alistair held my hand firmly as we walked up. He encouraged me to sit on the only unoccupied log, and he sank to the ground at my feet. I took my hand from his and set it on his broad shoulder; he tilted his head slightly to brush his cheek against my arm. No one said a word, and we settled and got drawn into listening to Leliana sing. Another one I'd taught her, and unsurprisingly appropriate – originally by Dusty Springfield, I always thought of the Vonda Shepard version.