Chapter 24: My Favourite Assassin

Upon reaching Bodahn, I quickly changed into my armour, and once I put on socks, slipped my feet into the boots we had ... liberated. Then, as usual, we walked. Everyone had apparently explained to Shale who I was, and she seemed completely disinterested. She wasn't much for fast running, so she'd stayed with Bodahn when the rest came to my rescue. She barely acknowledged me once we'd returned, and it pissed me off – I thought she'd be at least curious, and I seemed to be taking it personally for some reason. Resolving to try to befriend her one more time, I decided to walk with her, whether she wished it or not, and tell her about Caridin.

I stepped in beside her, and we walked quietly for a few minutes. I tried to figure out what to say, but was having trouble. I decided to just jump in.

"Shale?"

"Does the feeble human want something from me? Perhaps It wishes a ride?"

"I would never! That wasn't my idea. I would never expect you to give me a ride, Shale."

"It does not seem to object when the whiny Grey Warden gives It a ride." I had to think about that for a moment, and choked out an embarrassed laugh at the unintended dirty mental image she conjured.

"Al ... Alistair? That's, uh ... that wasn't my idea either. He offered. It's different if someone offers."

"So It would not ask? But It would accept if I offered?"

"Only if there was a reason. Like when we needed to keep moving and I wasn't able. Or when I had no shoes."

"I see. Perhaps It should try to be less feeble, if It prefers not to be carried?"

"I'm trying, believe me. I just was never trained like all of them were. Before I came here the most exercise I ever got was running away and hiding from bullies. And foster-parents. And even that was years ago. I'm getting better - when I first came and had to walk, I was exhausted after a few miles."

"Does It expect a medal for that?"

" ... No. Um, can I talk to you about something else?"

"Must It?"

"Okay, listen. You're trying to be unpleasant, and I'm trying not to care. I'm just going to come out and tell you something anyway, and then I won't bother you anymore. I just thought you might want to know where you came from. I know you don't remember much before being in Honnleath."

"It claims to know my past?"

"Not all of it, no. But pieces. You don't even know how golems are made. Do you want to?"

"I am listening."

"Golems were made by the dwarf Paragon named Caridin. Several hundred years ago, in the Deep Roads, in a place called Bownammar. They ... were made from dwarves. Volunteers, at first, and then conscripts, who Caridin was able to turn into golems using the Anvil of the Void. You were one of the volunteers."

Shale scoffed. "It must have been misinformed."

"No, Shale. I've seen it. Been there when you spoke to Caridin. Seen your name on the monument. You were once a dwarf. A woman. Shayle, of House Cadash."

"If it is going to persist in these sick fantasies, It should at least try to come up with something believable. I suppose It believes that if It knows all these facts, It becomes more important? Perhaps It thinks this will compensate for Its feebleness?"

"You know what? Fine. Just fine. I suppose it was inevitable that someone didn't believe me. But you know what? I didn't ask to be here. I don't want to be important. I'm trying to make the best out of a ridiculous situation, and if you won't do the same, then sod off."

I was vaguely proud of myself for using Fereldan curse words, and at the same time completely furious with Shale. I supposed I should have expected that I wouldn't get immediate acceptance from everyone, but Shale was never the one I had worried about, given the knowledge I could provide her with. It never occurred to me that she'd just assume I was making it up. I decided to ignore her from then on, and so I skipped ahead, walking next to Leliana for the rest of the day. I taught her some songs as we walked, love songs from my teenage years, mostly. I was still self-conscious about my voice, but she was never anything but encouraging, and finally convinced me. She was enchanted by Vonda Shepard's simple ballad, 'I Know Him By Heart'. I listened to her sing it sweetly over the campfire later, wishing that someday I could see a duet with her and Vonda. That would be awesome. I couldn't help blushing, remembering listening to that song and thinking about Alistair while playing the game.

I resumed my templar practice with Alistair that night. I was getting better at focusing faster, and so he started trying to distract me. He would throw small rocks, make loud noises, or bump me. The first few times he did it I was completely startled, but came to expect it and managed to keep my concentration better. I went to my bedroll, in the tent I shared with Leliana, self-satisfied. And exhausted, not that I'd admit that out loud - at least where Shale could hear me.

We walked for two more days uneventfully while I taught Leliana more Vonda Shepard songs, finally figuring that we were roughly a week from Haven - four more days on the highway, then three more, assuming the roads were okay. On the third day after my dramatic re-entry, we finally found the ambush I'd been waiting for. As we wandered along the road, a hysterical woman ran up from a side path begging for aid, and then ran off again. We all exchanged glances, and I nodded. Alistair, Shale, and Sten continued walking forward on the road, weapons at the ready. Aedan and Leliana faded into the undergrowth and disappeared, and Morrigan shifted into spider form to approach through the woods as well. Wynne and I followed, a few dozen steps behind our warriors, hoping that not seeing Aedan immediately would delay the tree getting dropped onto our escape route.

As predicted, the warriors triggered the fight, but what the ambushers did not count on was Leliana putting an arrow into the neck of the mage, and Aedan sneaking up on a couple of the crossbowmen and putting them down before they even got off a shot. Morrigan got one of the other crossbowmen, Alistair bashed Zevran in the face with his shield, and Shale and Sten took out the other fighters around Zevran. Before I could even blink, the elf was unconscious, his 'friends' dead, and the road remained unblocked. God I love foresight.

Aedan quickly tied Zevran up, and everyone else looted corpses. I stayed well back from any blood or gore, concentrating on not throwing up. The battle hadn't been as loud as I expected, but the scent of blood was making me nauseous, my heart was pounding, and my knees felt like they might give out. I wondered if I would ever get over my aversion to violence against humans. I sort-of hoped not. Seeing me looking pale, Aedan herded me away from the corpses and then had Zevran dragged back over to the road while we all waited for him to wake.

I stared at the elf curiously. Like Alistair, he was far better looking in person than in the game, even with a swelling cheek and what looked to be the start of an impressive black eye. In the game I'd tried the romance options with Zevran, and knew he was sweet at heart once you got under all of the bluster, but really there was no contest for me. Given the choice between the often crude Antivan elf and the sweet, self-deprecating templar, the templar won every time. Besides, my type had always been tall men. I was guessing, but by appearances, Zevran and I were the same height. I might even be taller than him. I kept forgetting how little elves were in this universe! I did hope Zevran and I could be friends, however. He was hilarious.

He finally woke up. I stayed out of the conversation as he defended, rather calmly, why he felt Aedan shouldn't execute him on the spot. I nearly laughed out loud when he offered his services for massage and bed-warming. I had seriously thought the game-makers must have been exaggerating. At the end of the conversation, Aedan was convinced, I could tell, but Alistair definitely was not. He shot me a piercing look, which I interpreted to mean 'are you serious?' I nodded firmly, and he finally shrugged and spoke.

"You are lucky, elf. I myself am not so forgiving, but our lady has decreed that you shall live. I strongly encourage you to thank the Maker that she is here, otherwise you would be little more than a stain on this lovely green grass."

Aedan glanced at me again to see me hiding my grin at Alistair's intimidation attempt before offering Zevran the four daggers he'd confiscated. It was useless anyway; knowing Zev, he had six more hidden somewhere Aedan didn't find them. Wynne offered to heal his face, which he accepted with grace, and only a mild comment on her kindness. I half-expected him to start spewing prose about her magical bosom on the spot.

Aedan offered him a hand to help him up, and just like that we had an assassin on our side. Go team! I wondered if Alistair would ever believe that he was actually a good guy. Watching him glower, I doubted it. Everyone else seemed only slightly uneasy, except for Leliana who, as always, approved of giving someone a second chance. She really was that sweet. I couldn't help but be impressed. When I played the game, I made the decisions about things like that pragmatically - more help was always better, and I doubted BioWare would offer me a companion who would murder me in my sleep. In real life the stakes were a little different, I had to admit. I thanked whoever - God, the Maker - had given me my unusual foresight. Again.

With my assurances, everyone seemed to accept Zevran's change of allegiance reasonably well, with the obvious exception of Alistair. The templar watched the assassin uneasily, muttering about not allowing him near the food, and how he wasn't going to be sitting watch alone, ever. It didn't surprise me, but it was kind of amusing.

We followed the road back to the wagon, and continued on towards Haven. I spent my time listening with amusement as Shale aggravated 'the elder mage', 'the sister', and 'the whiny Warden' in turn, thankful it wasn't just me she rubbed the wrong way. She and Sten still got along famously. I think she almost had him convinced we should be actively slaying every bird we came across. I kept hoping Morrigan would poop on her.