Chapter 20: Unanswered Questions

I was reluctant to break the silence, at first, and more afraid of the answers I might get to the questions I needed to ask. Alistair stared out over Redcliffe Village, expression distant. I turned to sit on the wall of the balcony.

"It was you who left me this." He showed me the amulet around his neck, the one that had been fixed by Eamon. I nodded.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"You were sleeping, and I didn't want to disturb you. And I didn't want to draw attention by giving it to you with others around."

"I suppose you already know how much it means to me, but thank you."

"Did Duncan tell you much about her?"

"A bit. He promised to send her a letter asking her to come to Ferelden at some point once this crisis is ended. Can you believe I'm half an elf?"

"You seem a bit tall for an elf, I admit."

"I don't exactly know how I feel about it. I mean, when I thought she was dead, my upbringing made sense. But now..."

"You wonder how she could have left you." He nodded. "She wasn't given a choice, is how. She's unique, for the Grey Wardens - somehow she is no longer Tainted. Not subject to the Calling. I wouldn't be surprised if you end up having to go to Weisshaupt to see her, instead of hoping she comes here - they will never want to let her go. They want to 'study' her. If she kept you, you'd have been used as a hostage against her. And against Ferelden, had they figured out who your father was. She was trying to save you from them."

"You sound so bitter about the Grey Wardens."

"Everything I've read, everything in the performance ... Duncan, and you and Aedan, are such honourable men. And from what you've said, many of those that died at Ostagar, too. The other Grey Wardens really ... aren't. They've taken the whole 'the end justifies the means' thing way too far, and somehow lost their humanity in the process. Kind of like the templars, actually. Truly, the only hope I have for the future of the Grey Wardens lies with you and Aedan."

He looked uncomfortable, and I chose to change the subject, give him some space on the topic.

"So. Is there any way for you to check if someone is a templar?"

"Unless you use a templar ability like holy smite on me? No."

"Well, you were standing nearby when Uldred died. Did I use holy smite then?"

"No. However, you could have used an ability that only targets mages - or other mana-using creatures - for example, and I wouldn't know. In theory, anyway."

"You're a big help." I sighed, sliding my back down the wall to sit on the floor, curled up with my chin on my knees. "Okay well, are you aware of any templar ability that would do ... what happened to Uldred?" The image of the abomination with blood spraying out of his eyes, nose, and mouth made me nauseous, and I tried to think of something else. I ended up looking up at Alistair's handsome face, and felt better.

"I'm not. But ... I wasn't a full-fledged templar, either. It's possible there are some skills I never learned, or some way that Lyrium grants more abilities." Alistair slid down to sit beside me.

"Alright, well ... can someone who is a rogue be a templar? Or are they all warriors?"

"I doubt the divide between those is as big as you think. If your question is whether someone who leans more to dexterity than strength can be a templar, the answer is yes."

"I hate you right now. You know that, right?" He grinned half-heartedly. "Okay, here's one. Have you ever heard of someone being born with innate templar powers? Or do they have to be trained?"

"I've definitely never heard of innate abilities. Everyone I ever knew had to train, though some had to work harder at it than others. I think the key was the discipline, being able to clear your mind of everything but what you were trying to do. Those who were good at the discipline found the abilities came easier."

"Well, that clinches it, then. I'm no templar. I've never trained, I lack even the most basic discipline, and my mind was definitely not focused during that fight with Uldred - I was screaming in fear for you and Aedan. It must have been that electricity thing from back at home."

Alistair grimaced. "A random lightning strike? With specific effects that mimic a templar's abilities? And happening this often? Do these 'surges' happen often, normally? It seems like a poor system, if yes."

"Well, no, they don't, but ... it makes more sense than me being some sort of innate templar freak, doesn't it?"

"I just don't know, Sierra. Some part of me hopes you are a templar, mostly so I could rub it in the face of the Revered Mother where I was trained. She spent a lot of time trying to make me feel guilty for not being keener to finish my training, for making them waste the effort on me. Someone with abilities like that without them and without Lyrium ... yeah, that would be kind of fun. As to what they would do to you if it was true and they found out ... I don't know."

We sat silently for a bit, shoulders barely touching. Between the stone I leaned on and the wind, I was cold; between the cold and my fear, I started shivering slightly. Alistair put his arm over my shoulders, offering his warmth, and I leaned into him, but the shivering wouldn't stop. I tried to hold it in, was furious as a couple of tears trailed down my face. Alistair looked down in surprise as one of them splashed onto his hand.

"Oh, blast. Don't cry, Sierra. We will figure it out. And Duncan, Aedan and I won't let anything happen to you."

"You can't promise that. I appreciate that you want to, but ... you can't even promise to survive the Blight, given what I know Duncan told you. And that's assuming I don't just disappear and end up in the middle of the darkspawn horde. No one can keep me safe, Alistair." There was no reply to that, and so he just sat, providing comfort and warmth all at once.

I wiped a couple of frustrated tears away, finally forcing the shaking to stop. We sat for another few minutes while I collected myself, and as we stood the door to the balcony burst open and Aedan came through with Prince, with eyes flashing, and a face like thunderclouds. It was a good testament to how angry he looked that Alistair stepped in front of me, arms out, as Aedan barrelled towards me. Even Prince got in front of him, growling. Protecting me? From Aedan?

"You will tell me what happened, Sierra."

"What? Aedan, what is wrong?"

"You told us you thought disappearing might be triggered by emotional upset. What did he do?"

"Aedan, I have no idea what you're talking about. What's going on?"

"I've been trying to get the truth from Theron, but he won't say. Morrigan knows something, but she wouldn't either and now she's busy. Don't act stupid. What did he do?"

"Nothing, Aedan. Please. Stop. There's nothing for you to go poking your nose in. Just let it go, okay?"

Alistair had stepped to counter any move he tried to make towards me, and the two men were coming close to wrestling as he kept trying. Aedan was practically growling in frustration, and I finally thought to intervene. I put one hand gently on Alistair and moved him to the side. Prince reluctantly let me pass.

"He won't hurt me. It's okay." I approached Aedan, hands out. When I reached him, I put my hands on his shoulders, ducking down to meet his gaze. "Aedan. I'm fine. Everything's fine."

He was almost shaking with rage. I held his gaze, trying to reassure him. He finally slumped a little, the tension draining out of him, and I took the opportunity to give Alistair a look, motioning my head towards to door leading inside. He gave me a skeptical look but I nodded and motioned again. Finally he acquiesced and practically tiptoed inside. I'd never noticed before, but Alistair could move quite quietly when he tried. When not wearing armour, at any rate.