Chapter 16: Self Defense

The next morning, instead of going down to the main hall, I asked a servant to bring me something for breakfast. She also offered to have my clothes washed, to which I readily agreed. After I ate, I buckled myself into my borrowed leather armour, grabbed the practice sword, and headed down to the courtyard hoping to locate Wayne. He wasn't there, but a few of the guys I'd brawled with the day before were around, so after warming up a bit, we resumed practice. A couple of times the young knights managed to get a hold on me, or get in a lucky hit, but for the most part I was able to take most of them down with the throws Wayne had taught. We joked good-naturedly about it, and then I fell to practicing my sword forms and footwork. A couple of the more experienced knights called out corrections or suggestions, but for the most part I practiced alone until lunch.

Deciding that I couldn't avoid Teagan forever, I ate in my armour in the main hall. Teagan was polite, and smiled at me, but was back to calling me 'my lady' and we only talked about neutral topics. Afterwards he excused himself to do some business down in the village, and I decided it would be an ideal time to try to find Alistair's 'shower'. I begged a spare loose-fitting dress from Isolde, which I thought would fit me, if only just, and gathered up a bundle of things including my soaps, shampoo, and a towel I borrowed.

I snuck down into the bowels of the castle, heading through storerooms and long disused hallways. I carried a candle, which I lit as I got to a hallway without sconces lit like in the rest of the castle. I avoided the dungeons, as my destination wasn't near there, to my relief. After a few wrong turns, I found the crack in the foundation that he had mentioned, squeezing through, and then following the sound of running water.

Alistair was right about the warmth; despite the cold water, the room was quite comfortable. Sunlight filtered in to the room through a few holes in the rock opposite where the waterfall flowed. I set the candle protectively in the corner, sure I'd never get back if it went out. I stripped off my armour, folding it onto a dry spot on the floor, but putting my borrowed dress, towel, and clean spare undergarments on the little ledge that seemed purpose built for holding clothes. The floor was slightly slippery, and I cautiously eased my way to stand under the full blast of water coming from a crack in the far wall.

The water pressure was almost enough to bowl me over, and I stood under the full brunt of it only for a few seconds, before sidling over towards the corner where the spray was soft enough for me to wash. I scrubbed myself with a small cloth until I was too cold to continue, then stepped out of the spray to wash my hair. I warmed up quickly in the heat of the room, so I braved the spray again to rinse out the suds.

I dried myself off with the towel, and slowly started to dress. I marvelled at the crazy construction that allowed this little room to exist, with no one above aware of its presence. I had just succeeded in putting on bra and underwear, still gawking around, when I was startled by a hand on my waist. I heard a voice say something that I couldn't quite make out through the thundering sound of the waterfall, and instinct kicked in before I could think.

I grabbed the wrist of the hand at my waist, turning away, bending forward, and twisting my hips as Wayne had taught me, and tossed the offender to the ground with a thump. Thinking frantically, I kept spinning with the momentum of the throw, reaching to grab the dagger out of the sheath on the ground with my armour, and then spun again to drop onto the back of my attacker, arm around his neck in a submission hold and the point of the dagger just barely digging in to the skin over his jugular.

At which point I finally looked at the person I had thrown, and realised I knew him. He was now slightly damp, face down on the slippery rock floor, and blood was trickling from where my dagger had pierced, but there was no mistaking that stylish brown hair or strong jaw.

"Theron!" I hissed. "What in the hell are you doing down here?"

"If you get off my chest, I'll better be able to answer that, Sierra."

"No. Answers first. You don't sneak in and lay hands on a half-naked woman without a bloody good reason." I backed the dagger away from his neck, but didn't put it down.

"I didn't sneak up! I called out and you didn't hear me. Sierra, please. It's sort of hard to breathe, down here, and the water is sodding cold!"

I considered, very briefly, and then jumped up off him, retreating to grab the towel and wrap it around myself as some sort of covering while he picked himself up off the floor. I still held the dagger at my side, gripping the handle as hard as I could, unable to decide between fury, fear, and embarrassment.

"So answer the question. What are you doing here?"

"I followed you, okay? I saw you sneaking through the halls and I thought I'd see where you were going. I'm supposed to be your ladyship's bodyguard, am I not?"

"So exactly how long were you watching me?" Fury was winning, suddenly, and I realised I had taken a step towards him, dagger now held out front, threateningly. He backed away, empty hands raised in a placating gesture.

"I didn't, I swear. I had to stop and move some rock from that crack you squeezed through - I couldn't fit. I just got here."

"And so you thought you'd come and visit with me when I was undressed? Were you planning to wash my back?" I took another step forward, the anger on my face belying the flippancy of my words. "I suppose you thought I would invite you to join me, that I would fall into your manly arms overcome with desire?"

Anger flashed across Theron's face, suddenly, countering my own. "No, I think that you've got quite enough manly arms offering to catch you, Sierra."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Well, how many men can you string along, really? Seriously. Straight from Duncan's tent to Aedan's? Did you think no one would notice? And now poor Teagan, hanging on your every word? And don't think I missed how you danced with Alistair last night. And me. What, are you just trying them all out, seeing who will fit the bill? Or maybe waiting for the best offer?"

The ringing sound echoed through the small room as I slapped Theron's face, as hard as I could. Damn, now my hand hurts. My shoulders sagged, and suddenly all the rage drained out of me. I stepped back, dropping the dagger onto my pile of armour, head down. I turned away, speaking over my shoulder just loud enough to be heard.

"I'm glad to see you're consistent in your beliefs, even if they are undeserved. So much for being like a brother, hey? I've been honest with you from the beginning, and maybe that's the problem. You've been too pampered, too spoiled, and too important for anyone to ever tell you the truth. You don't know how to handle it.

"Get out, Theron. Go to your room and stay there, or go seduce another poor Redcliffe serving girl. I mean, hell, what's another royal bastard in Redcliffe Castle? Just stay away from me. Because I swear, if you ever touch me again without permission, I will use this dagger instead of just threatening with it."

I waited until his footsteps were gone before sinking down to sit on the ground, towel loose around me, nakedness forgotten. I dropped my face into my shaking hands, bursting into tears. As the adrenaline wore off and my body accepted I wasn't being attacked, the fear disappeared, leaving behind a mixed jumble of emotions. Anger, still; hurt; embarrassment at my over-reaction; shame, somehow, despite logically knowing I had done nothing wrong; they all combined to leave me miserable and sobbing on the cold stone floor.

The chill finally got to me, and I stood up, slowly dressing in my borrowed clothes. I suddenly felt old and frail, my back hunched, the bundle with my armour heavy, my chest aching from crying. I crept out of the basement, slowly, making it to the main floor and then deciding I needed a rest before continuing to my room. I turned into the small library, assuming it would be empty, but I found Morrigan there, in discussion with Jowan and Teagan. I would have left, but my arms suddenly felt weak and I dropped the pile of armour I was carrying unexpectedly. I looked down at it, in surprise, and when I looked back up, Morrigan's concerned face was swimming across my vision. I think she said something to me, but I couldn't even have guessed what it was. Damn, in front of Teagan? This is going to complicate things. The world started spinning, and I fell, my vision tunneling down to a single small point of light, then everything was gone.

For once I was unsurprised to wake in hospital. It wouldn't have taken me long to figure it out, in any case, because there were monitors buzzing and ringing like crazy around me. It was almost like there were sirens going off. I opened my eyes to see hospital staff rushing past me, heading for the source of the noise – the bed next to mine. I sat up, looking over to see the unfortunate patient having a seizure or something, and I looked away quickly, feeling like a creep for staring. I had noticed, briefly, that the monitors on the wall weren't in use, and instead she was surrounded by portable monitors with wheels. I decided to wait before ringing for a nurse, and settled with doing a personal inventory instead. I noticed that, for once, I didn't have an IV, though a large bruise on my forearm explained that. The catheter had been left out, and I was relieved to find I didn't wake up with a feeding tube or any other new orifices.