Chapter 10: New Arrivals

I found Theron and Tomas, both stripped to the waist, sparring with sticks instead of swords. I could see that Tomas was clearly the better swordsman, despite Theron's relative youth and impressive physique, but he was holding himself back to avoid humiliating Theron outright. I sat down nearby to watch, and Tomas took the opportunity to use it as a teaching moment. Both men backed off in intensity, and Tomas took the time to announce what they were doing, pointing out footwork, sword strokes, and parries. I found the half-naked thing distracting, but persevered through it to pay attention to what mattered. I realised I should have done some training with them before I took my bath in the stream, but now clean and dry, I just couldn't bring myself to get sweaty again. I finally drowsed, sitting in the bright sun, not waking until Theron ran by and pushed me over to land on my side on the ground. He took off towards the stream, howling in laughter as I cursed.

Tomas sat across from me, having thrown his shirt on, sweat still running down his brow and staining the cloth. He looked amused, and as I picked myself up off the ground I realised that, not only was my hair still a mess but I probably now had dirt and leaves on my face. I sighed and brushed myself off, returning to trying to comb out the knots in my hair. Several curses and a couple of small bald spots later, Tomas grabbed my hand, stopping me from attacking the next tangle.

"I had a sister, once. Before..." He sighed, and I nodded understanding. Before he ended up on the street, before he was recruited. She was most likely dead. "She had curly hair. She and my mother used to fight over combing out her hair all the time. She'd end up bawling, half bald, every time she washed her hair. Until I realised I could help." He prodded me until I turned and sat with my back to him, and he knelt behind me. I closed my eyes, humming in pleasure as he used his deft fingers to pick out the snarls, smoothing my waves. There was something so intimate, so familiar in that touch, I found myself longing for ... something. A family perhaps? I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to complain.

We were both still sitting like that when Aedan and Alistair returned. Tomas stopped right away, and the absence left me feeling lonely. I've lived alone for ten years, and suddenly now I feel lonely in the middle of a group? Ridiculous. I immediately noticed that Leliana and Sten weren't with them. I worried about that, wondered what would happen if we failed to recruit the important party members from the game. Not for the first time, I wondered if Duncan and Cailan surviving would have far more unintended consequences than I imagined, wondered if I would regret whatever it was that saved them in the end. Too late now, and anyway I wouldn't have been able to live with myself had I not tried. I looked at Alistair's peaceful smile when his gaze focused on Tomas, and knew I'd do it all over again to avoid seeing his face haunted like it was in the game.

I stood, walking over to see Aedan while Alistair spoke to Tomas quietly.

"Where's Leliana?"

"Getting Sten. She tried, but the Revered Mother wouldn't let him go. She decided to sneak over there herself after dark and bring him out, but they'll have to go around the outside of town to get him here safely. Alistair and I went to the army camp and made a scene to provide a distraction."

"Did you dress him up pretty and make him dance the Remigold?"

"I heard that! Stop stealing my lines." Aedan and I both giggled ourselves breathless while Alistair gave me a dirty look and everyone else watched, puzzled. Apparently they'd had that conversation in Ostagar, just like I had in the game. Surreal. But funny.

"Alright, what did you do instead?"

"Actually we just introduced ourselves. Bryland's a good man, and so are his lieutenants. When he learned who we were, who I am, he made a big fuss and paraded us around the army camp. He gave us most of the supplies we were looking for, for free. I made a speech about not allowing Loghain to get away with his betrayal and ending the Blight, and everyone came to watch. Even the templars."

Tomas walked up. "You advertised your presence?"

"Yeah, well ... we needed a distraction. And I knew we'd be safe with Bryland's men. Though I think we might want to move camp once Leliana gets here with the big guy. The reward for any Grey Warden, alive or dead, is at ten sovereigns."

I was actually relieved to see Aedan taking control, even standing up to Tomas. I could see Tomas was taken slightly aback at the matter-of-fact attitude. I smiled at Aedan and nodded when I knew no one else was looking. He winked back.

"Perhaps we should leave now. I will stay behind and lead our new companions to the campsite once they arrive?" Did he just ask Aedan for permission? Whoa. Aedan shook his head.

"Good idea, but I'll be the one to stay behind. Prince can find you for me, or warn you if I get caught. And of the two of us, I'm the far more expendable, Tomas." I saw an expression flit across Tomas' face, one of regret and worry that belied his usually calm demeanor. I knew that if something happened to either of the younger Grey Wardens, he'd never forgive himself. Still, he eventually nodded in agreement.

All of us packed our supplies into the packs we had obtained. I changed into some simple peasant garb that they had acquired, impressed with Leliana's eye - it fit me almost perfectly. At least it's pants and shirt, not a dress. I tucked my Earth clothes into the top of my pack, with the other assorted oddities I had brought over, and then added a peasant dress that apparently Leliana had also found. Spoke too soon.

Tomas snuffed the fire, covering it with dirt to hide it at least a little, scattering the remains of the burnt wood into the undergrowth. We left Aedan, who faded into the woods with the mabari, and Alistair lead the way, aiming to swing wide around Lothering and head north. Tomas came last, trying to obscure our trail. I watched him at first, having never spent much time in the woods. He made a few obvious false trails, doubling back to the group, and tried to ensure that any broken branches, boot prints and the like blended in. I recalled that a group of Lothering refugees at some point had ambushed our group for the bounty, and suddenly his efforts seemed far more important.

After a few minutes, however, my pack started feeling heavier. I had never been a hiker and even this body didn't have the strength and stamina of the rest. I struggled on with it, unwilling to admit weakness to these new yet familiar companions. Shortly, Alistair stopped for a minute, allowing us to rest. He walked over to me, without a word, took my pack, slung it on one shoulder and his own on the other, shot Tomas an incredulous, slightly dirty look, and took off walking again. I was grateful – and mortified – all at once.

After an hour of walking, and a quick consultation with Tomas, Alistair chose a campsite. I volunteered to light a small fire with my Zippo, and Theron and Alistair wandered off to gather wood. Morrigan, as usual, was nowhere to be seen. Tomas sat near me, looking lost in thought. Once I had a blaze going, I joined him.

"Thank you, Tomas."

"For what, my lady?"

"For allowing Aedan to take the lead, a little. For not over-riding his authority."

"He is a clever lad. He knows what he's doing, and he's handling everything better than the rest of us put together. I may be senior here, but I can recognise competence when I see it. I'm not about to get in the way of that." We shared a smile.

"I worried he'd defer to you, that he wouldn't take charge and stand on his own feet the way I think he was meant to."

"I don't think Aedan is particularly good at deferring to anyone, actually. It's one of the reasons I wanted to recruit him. Grey Wardens aren't army soldiers. They need to think for themselves. I'm more worried about Alistair, actually."

"He will be fine, I think. He needs to believe that he's meant to follow for now, although he actually does make a good leader once he's got a bit more confidence. Aedan will lean on him, and show him respect, and he'll get it figured out."

"You do love him, don't you." It wasn't really a question.

I blushed scarlet, thankful that dusk had come to hide the beacon that was my face, at least from a distance. "How could I? We've barely just met."

"He's just met you. I don't think that's really the case for you."

"I ... I can't be in love, Tomas. It's not right. I don't know who I am, or why I'm here. I don't know if I'll be able to even stay here. I could get pulled back tomorrow and never return. I can't defend myself, I'd be a liability. I'm not a Grey Warden, I can't share that with him, and then when he gets his Calling ... This isn't even what I really look like! I don't know where this body came from, but it isn't mine. I can't allow myself ... it wouldn't be fair to him..." I trailed off, swallowing the lump in my throat, trying to suppress the tears I could feel gathering. I've cried more in the last few days than the last ten years. I hate tears.

Tomas took my hand. "Perhaps he should have a say in what's fair to him, don't you think?" Squeezing my hand, he rose and started working on a tent. Stuffing my feelings back into the box I always kept them in, I joined him. Theron and Alistair wandered back, arms full of wood. Alistair quickly assembled a tent of his own, but Theron stared at the poles and canvas like they would bite him. From watching Tomas, I had a fair idea how they worked, so I joined him.

"It's not rocket science, you know. Here. Let me show you."

"What's rocket science?"

"Uh. Hard to explain. But what I meant is that it isn't too complicated. The tent, I mean. I'll help." Together we managed to get the thing upright, laughing together at the slightly saggy roof and crooked overall result. "I think it will stand, though. I guess practice makes perfect." Alistair shot us a strange look, standing so close together and clearly enjoying ourselves. I flushed and excused myself, returning to Tomas' side.

Tomas had assembled a couple more tents while Theron and I had struggled with his. He pointed to the one closest to the centre of camp, telling me that one was mine. I must have had an odd facial expression at that, because he immediately stopped what he was doing to take me by the shoulders. I felt at the verge of tears again.