Chapter 31: Clinic Day 3 - Training

After the doctor showed me to a chair to wait, I really wanted to do anything to pass the time. I found there is not a lot to do without requiring sight. I got bored quickly. I was happy when someone walked over and asked at the desk where I was waiting. They must have pointed me out, because I heard them come right over to me.

"Are you David," a woman asked in a kind, yet professional nurse like voice.

"Yes ma'am."

"Great. We are going to get started with your training as soon as I cover both eyes with protective shields. We don't want you to attempt to harm your eyes in frustration. Despair can push one to do things they would never do normally. Science is advancing so rapidly that we cannot have you doing something that might one day give you back your sight. Any day now they may discover the solution to correct what is causing your blindness," she told me as I felt her taping something over my eyes.

"Now I am going to teach you how to play a new version of follow the leader."

She had me stand up before guiding my hand to her elbow. I was to put my fingers inside of her arm with my thumb on the outside. When we started to walk, my arm would be at close to ninety degrees because she was a bit taller than me.

"We are at a door David. The hinges are on your left side, and it swings inward. Once I open the door, you will need to use your left hand to feel along the door to find the edge. Once we are out of the door, we will continue to walk until we reach the stairwell," she instructed.

It was not far to the stairs. She had me change sides since the door hinges were on the right this time, and the door opened inward to the stairwell.

"I am going to get your hand on the handrail. I will put my arm behind my back so that you can grip my wrist as we go up," I was told as we got to the stairs. "For each stair you need to use your foot to probe forward until you contact the bottom edge of the stair. I will step up one stair, and then you will follow. At the landings, you will know we are at the top of that flight of stairs because we will be on the same level. In most stairwells, you will find that the railing stops at the top of the stairs. Remember to use that as an aid for knowing that you are approaching a landing. You will need to find the wall and follow it around with your hand carefully or with your cane. The walls in the stairwells of the clinic have different textures to them to help you while learning, and they are cleaned nightly. You cannot be sure that walls out in the world are clean or safe, so I suggest you learn to use your cane as quickly as possible and wash your hands with soap at every opportunity"

She helped me navigate what I think were six half flights of stairs before we finally got up to where she helped me figure out the door. This one had hinges on the left and inside the stairwell, so it opened in from my right. Not having a cane yet, the woman led me down the hallway we entered.

"David this time I want you to hold onto my left arm while you use your right hand and carefully trace the wall. As we walk I want you to listen to the sounds around you. The quickest way for you to learn to cope with your blindness is to allow your ears to help you see what is around you. The sound of our feet on the walls will change as we come to doorways on our left and right. If the doors are open, you will hear the noises inside when we pass. Many of my students find that turning your head to pinpoint sounds is very effective during their first few weeks of becoming blind," the nurse instructed me during our trip to where I would learn about using a cane.

Before we got there she took me down two floors on the stairs. This was about the same as before. She put my hand on the handrail, took a step down, and then told me to feel with my foot for the end of the stairs. The nurse refused to tell me how many stairs there were as it could lead to major lack of concentration while I tried to count them. I think I was more worried about tripping and pushing her down the stairs than I was of going down them even by myself. It is a bit unnerving going down when you cannot see.

She walked me down another hall, and then it was now my turn to do the stairs all myself. She was right there behind me when I went up and in front when I went down, but I did it all solo. By the time we finally got to where she said we were going to do more training, I was starving. I still did not like going up or down stairs on my own, but I was better than when we started.

"David you now have to relearn how to eat, drink, and use the restroom," the nurse conveyed conversationally. "You will be making a huge mess no matter how careful you are, so we are going to get you undressed. For the next few days when you are eating in this office, you will be only wearing an apron. There will be no need for modesty or reason for you to be embarrassed at your nudity David. The only people here who will be able to see you are nurses and clinicians. All of our patients are just as blind as you. I will aid you in washing up today, but you will do it all yourself after that. Now how about we make you a sandwich. I hope you do not mind having to learn to read again using your fingers."

I assumed she was going to have me run my fingers over the Braille dots and tell me the letters or words. Instead, she said that took too long. I was going to have to learn much faster than that in this program. Already knowing I had no allergies and would not get sick from anything they had out for the sandwiches and condiments, she had me run my fingers over the letters after telling me some basic rules.

Taking my hand she taught me, "The letters A to J are made from the top two rows of dots, K to T are in the same positions but have a dot in the lower left, and U, V, X to Z are the same as A to E, but have two dots in the third row. W is the only one with a dot in the third row and on the right. For vowels, A is only one dot, the same as the number 1. E is two dots like a backslash on a keyboard. I is two dots like a forward slash. Just to make sure you have position when going through the alphabet, G and Q are all four dots in the top two rows, Q has a dot on the left in the third row."

First, I had to pick my bread. In front of where they had slices of bread were little pieces they had torn off to taste. It was pretty easy to get the word for bread down after knowing how 'A' and 'E' were supposed to feel and that there were five types of bread, all with bread as the last word. Knowing that W was the only letter that had a dot on the right of the third row made finding white and wheat pretty easy once I tasted them. I guess at rye since it was only three letters. Without having eaten pumpernickel or pumpkin breads before, the nurse had to tell me them after I tried to read their letters. I was able to get the E and I okay, but that was it. She scolded me for not getting the r in pumpernickel since I could find the work bread.

After I chose some wheat slices she moved me over to the condiments. In front of each was a paper cup. She had me go try to figure out the letters while I was just smelling each cup. I was happy that I guessed correctly on the mayo and mustard. Ketchup, oil and vinegar, Miracle Whip and relish all took me tasting them to figure them out. She mixed them up six times, and I had to get them all correct just by reading them before she let me move on to lunch meats. I was not allowed to smell or taste any of the meats, those I had to read. The nurse seemed really happy when I went back over to where I knew the pumpernickel and pumpkin breads where to verify the Ps for the pepperoni. I knew the B, A and G in bologna, but guessed the rest. Ham was easy enough to get just from the number of letters. I went over ham and bologna before I finally figured out that the last meat was salami. Luckily they only had ham, tuna, and chicken salads for the spreads. I did go back over to the ham lunch meat to verify that I had the right one and I was able to cheat on the tuna because I smelled it. She helped me on the C in chicken telling me that it was the only letter with just two dots on the top line.

I thought trying to figure out what the things were for my sandwich were hard until I tried to make it. After destroying four slices of bread trying to spread mustard on them and then finding the two I did not destroy were soaked in it, I started to see why they had the covers over my eyes. Even though I knew the nurse had no idea about the special contacts, I was ready to do anything to get them out of my eyes to see what I was doing. I was starving and angry. Even turning on the place in my head to try to see that way was useless. It was over an hour after we came in here that I was finally sitting down with my two pepperoni and salami sandwiches, a stack of unknown cookies, a handful of chips, and some sort of strange can of something cold to drink. I shoved in my mouth as fast as I could chew it.

"Not completely horrible for your first attempt at navigating your new world David. Given your age, I expected you to lose your temper much sooner than you did," she complimented me. "Very few young teenagers have the self-control to go back to figure out new words from the ones they already guessed or learned. You really should not have missed the ones you did. We have found in our research that the instinct to find food is a very strong motivator for patients to learn Braille quickly, especially after exercise and having missed two meals."

Well, I found out quickly why she was talking from behind me as I shoved a handful of chips into my mouth. I thought they were potato chips. They weren't and I spit them out onto the table. My drink managed to replace the vile taste of the chip with something even worse. I was spitting it all over the table once my tongue registered the flavor with my brain. I don't have a clue how long it was before I realized the nurse was laughing.

When she did finally calm down enough to talk, she explained, "I was saying, before your lack of manners interrupted, we have found through research that food is a great method for teaching a crash course in Braille. You just chased your radish flavored avocado chips with turnip and beet juice. I have not changed the locations of anything you already know, so to have a drink more to your liking; you will need to find it yourself. Just listen for the sounds of the fans on the refrigerators to locate the station. My twelve-hour shift started when I came to get you today, so take your time."

'Damn she is smug. I just want to zap her, so she wets her pants, but I am sure I would get it back from Anna at the most embarrassing time. Plus the nurse is right. This is my own fault for rushing so I could eat. I am not going to let her get to me; I am sure it is part of her job to get me frustrated.'

The nurse was right about being able to hear the motors in the coolers on the food line. I remembered we worked around some chairs before I sat down so I waved my hands around as I walked a bit too fast toward the food line.

"David you have to reach out with your hands and feet to feel for obstacles around you, just like on the stairs," the nurse commented as I slammed my toes into a chair leg.

I was about ready to just drink that nasty turnip beet juice, by the time I finally made it over to the food line. The cooler had lots and lots of cans in it that all felt the same on top. I tried to find Braille on the shelf, but there was none there. When I told the nurse, she was tricking me, she just said I was not "looking" at all the information available to be me. I must have spent ten minutes feeling all over the place in that cooler before I brushed my fingers against a Braille label stuck to one of the cans. It took me at least another ten minutes to find some orange soda. The soda was a guess between cola and soda, since I knew the O from Orange and A because of the one dot. I could have gone over to find the chicken salad again, but I was too thirsty.

It seems that this whole lunch process was designed to take a long time because I now really needed to use the bathroom. The nurse led me out of the lunchroom and into a very loud echoing bathroom somewhere further down the hall.

"I imagine the mild laxatives you were given last night have done the job right on schedule," she told me with a laugh. "No matter how hard a new patient may try to fight our specialized training program; we have a lot of dirty tricks you cannot fight. I am not here to teach you how to use the bathroom David. I am quite sure that you can even locate the toilet on your own to do your business. When you are finished our training will resume."

'Oh god what the hell did they do to me? This is the nastiest stuff I have smelled come out of me in a long time. It is even worse than in the hospital, ' I thought as I waited to be sure I was done.

'SHIT! Where the hell is the toilet paper and how am I supposed to know when I even get my ass clean?'

"Beginner mistake David," the nurse said from over near the door. "Just as you would do when entering a restroom when you could see, you must seek out the toilet paper location before mounting the throne. I also caution you just to go ahead to sit down to urinate as you will be more likely than not find your shoes wet from trying to use a urinal. The toilet paper is on the wall to your right."

Great ... This was that super cheap industrial stuff they use at school. I did the best I could to get all the poop off, but never quite felt that I was completely clean. The nurse said to keep doing it until I felt the paper only down there. It still did not make me feel that I got all of it off. Oh well turns out it did not matter as she said I was going to have a shower now anyway. 'Why? I did not make a mess on my apron, and I was not feeling anything on my body.'

"This is a bit different than the other steps of your training so far. What I am going to do is to give you a bottle of all-in-one shampoo with conditioner and a bar of soap. You need to get used to how the bottle and top feel before finding a location in the shower where you will store it. It is best to smell the soap before putting in the soap dish. We will be providing you with details on where to have specialized bottles ordered that you can use specifically for shampoo, conditioner, soap, mouthwash and even an attachment for toothpaste tubes that will put a set amount on your toothbrush without a mess. For today, however, I expect the other patients on the ward will be aiding you in getting your teeth brushed. I am not permitted on that floor, but I have a pretty reliable source that says you can expect plenty of help showering, eating and other tasks while learning to do them without your sight." She said getting me to the water controls for the shower. "While you are not a baby, it would do you very well to keep a pack of flushable wet wipes in your pocket at all times when you are away from home. These will allow you to give yourself a good final clean up."

After my shower, I felt a lot better about putting back on a hospital gown knowing that my exposed butt was not covered in poop. When I was washing my hair, it hit me that I was not having any trouble showering even without being able to see. Since I woke up from my coma, I no longer needed my old glasses with the inch-thick ultra-thin polycarbonate lens. I had been so blind without them in the shower that the only difference today was not seeing any light or blurs of colors.

We went back to do several flights of stairs before she dropped me off in a waiting room where I was to get trained in using a cane. For the first-time today there were other kids here around me, and I am pretty sure they were mostly sightless, if not completely blind. I could not quite tell how close any of them was from just listening, but I was sure there were none sitting close enough to me to talk to right now. By turning my head around to figure out where the sounds were different, I tried to map out the room in my mind as best as I could. I just got started when there came a lot of noise from off to my right.

"Get the fuck away from me you selfish bitch," a girl screamed out. "If you actually gave a shit about anyone but yourself, you would not have been sexting pictures of your wet cunt to that dumb shit jock while driving over ninety down the interstate in the rain. It is your fault my eyes were popped like balloons when my head slammed into the dash. You didn't even break your damn phone or mess up your makeup. I don't want you here!"

Another older sounding girl replied emotionlessly, "But, I have to..."

Not allowing her to finish the other girl yelled back, "You are only here to try to make me think you actually care about anything but getting fucked by the biggest horse cock you can find and scoring your next fix. I told that pedophile lawyer you fucked and blackmailed that I would never give you any money. God damn selfish bitch! You never even asked if mom, dad, John, or I was even ok after the wreck. What sort of fucked-up bitch gets out of a smoking hulk of wrecked metal, uses a Taser on a cop, and takes his gun just to make the firemen search for your damn iFruit phone instead of letting them try to save us? Why your phone? To take pictures for some twisted law suit? Cover your Botox filled fat ass? No! You just had to be sure that selfie of your stretched-out cunt leaking cum got sent and then update your fucking Facebook status to say you just killed everyone but your whiney assed little sister. Then you took video of going to ask the cop and paramedics if you should shoot me to put me out of my misery like I was a damn horse. No? What fucking shit is so wrong in your head that uses the gun to keep them away from me so you can get a pic to post and then tweet about how I was going to live, but would be an ugly as a hell from the big dent in my face now."

The older girl showed she was just what her sister said as she talked while the younger one was trying to get her breath, "You cannot speak to me that way; I am your guardian now. You have to do what I say, or I will have you locked up with the crazy people. I will have them drug you and hypnotize you so that you give me my half of the money and all the interest on yours too you little snot."

The room had gotten silent by then, so there was nothing to cover the sound of the very solid hits that followed before someone hit the floor hard and started to cry like a little kid.

"Fuck you bitch," the younger girl said. "Mom and dad changed their will the night mom went into labor with John. You threw a complete bitch meltdown tantrum because you were going to force the boy who babysat us to be the first to fuck you while you taped it. Over and over you yelled at them that it was their fault you were still a virgin! If mom had not been so selfish as to go into labor, then you would have that boy paying you all his babysitting money not to give the police the video of him raping you. Dad called the lawyer up on hands-free so that he, and mom could have their wishes recorded. I heard them say it twice, the lawyer once and then the whole conversation played back. Mom refused to go into delivery until she had signed the new will, just in case she died giving birth. Go look at it and you will see bitch! There is no way in hell you can even get their money if I die, unless I give it to you. Before that I have to have a full psychiatric evaluation set up by Dad's lawyer to ensure I am stable enough to think of ever giving your nasty slut ass anything. So just go the fuck away and never try to contact me again."

For a few minutes, her older sister sniveled and begged before there was another solid sound of a hit and the older girl said flatly, "That is what you think you little nerd princess. My lawyer will find all the loopholes. I was just here to make sure you were stuck here in this clinic now, and couldn't get out without my permission. My emancipation was done when they made me your guardian! You think you are all smart, but I have a PI that has been taking this all on video. A few edits and your money won't matter for shit. I am going to mortgage everything to the limit and take out loans against everything else. I am just amazed how the costs for your care; the hospitals, and funeral for the other three are just astronomical. I must leverage your assets to make sure you have the best care so you can fully recover. Too bad that before you are even in your room here, a mistake at the bank will have wired all that money to an account in the Cayman Islands. A courier is there waiting right now to withdraw it all the instant it clears. You should have just given me what I wanted sister. It was always mine. I was born first. You and John were just our parent's inability to control their sexual urges. Oh, while you were annoying me by not just dying, I took all of mom's jewelry because it is supposed to go to me if she died. John was to get dad's Rolex watches, but he can't if since he is dead too, so I took them too."

I know that I wanted to turn on the place in my head to do something really nasty to that older girl! Right as I was thinking what I should do it, I felt a shock in my balls. Anna may think she was being cute, but I was in no mood for her to do that to me. She could have just done anything that did not sting like hell. I would get her back later.

From out of nowhere I heard the sweet sound of a girl's laughter. It was the same as I had heard many times I was making myself believe I was invisible to those around me. You could just feel the utter happiness of the smile on the girl's face and utter joy flowing forth from her very soul. It was that sound from fairytale worlds where young children free in their innocence frolic nakedly in a field of wildflowers laughing as they chase butterflies. For this very instant, my whole being felt completely at peace.

"Oh dear big sister you have lifted a heavy burden from my heart with your spiteful words. For years, we held the hope that you were a narcissist, but now it is clear you are just a run-of-the-mill psychotic. Narcissism requires intelligence, planning, and adaptability which I never saw within you. I always hoped that you were just playing us to get what you desired and would attune your personality one day to function as a member of the family. Please go forth with my blessing to enjoy the world as you believe it to be. We shall never cross paths again," the younger sister said in an angelic voice that was a stark contrast to just before.