Chapter 313: How may I serve you?

I never thought about being a waiter. I invited them, so I guess I have to feed them too.

I started with appetizers. I went to the back to find one of the computers and found it unlocked, which was good because I didn’t need to try to find a way to hack it. I didn’t know the table numbers, so I had to go up to the front to get it off the stand. I quickly entered the appetizer orders.

The staff in the back aren’t questioning the order coming in, so that is cool.

I went back to get what they wanted to eat and then put in my order. I did suggest that some might want to split some main courses as I didn’t think they could eat the whole thing by themselves. I liked the entry system. It was simple. They had buttons for splitting main entrees with normal-sized sides. I tried to find pre-made salads with no luck, but I did find the salad dressings to put into the cups. A guy, who looked to be in his first or second year of college, brought out the salads. He didn’t seem to care about me being back there, probably because I was the only one here. Each had the table and the seat number on a sticky flag stuck to the underside of the salad bowl.

That is a cool idea.

I got their dressings, put everything on a big tray, and carried out like I had been a waiter for years. The martial arts training and muscles most definitely didn’t hurt. I forget the silverware, but someone had gone to get us all some. They were already working on the salads as I heard food going into the window from the cooks. The appetizers were at least twenty-five percent bigger than other restaurants, but still too expensive to me. I did get me samples of each before taking them the tables.

Each meal went into a dedicated mini-oven, and they pressed one of the various buttons that lit up a display overhead with the table, seat, everything currently on the plate, and how long it could be in there before it would need them to re-prepare it. When all the orders for a table were ready, a chef pulled them out to add any cold items, or hot ones like fries, before making it look fancy. They put them into the window by table number, and I carried them out to the specified table, collecting the finished salads and empty plates from appetizers. A quick refill on drinks and some sodas for the beer and wine drinkers, and I saw two more tables had food ready. I took those out and waited for the food for my table. It didn’t take long. I left the dirty dishes on the counter because I didn’t see any bus bins or places for dirty dishes.

I didn’t have much time to sit down to eat my dinner before needing to get someone a refill or condiment. It wasn’t a big deal for me since I could reheat my meal without drying it out. Everyone was full. Everyone was going to get one of the golf carts over to the next resort since it had an area with bowling lanes, pool tables, video games, TVs, and beanbag chairs. I told them I would be over in a little while. I had the tables cleared, wiped down, and reset them for the next meal when a snooty man in a tuxedo came in.

“Sir, please kindly wait in the atrium for us to get a table ready for you,” he said, acting like an ass.

I dialed my Elena’s dad and handed the phone to the snooty ass.

With a huff, he took and said hello.

After I heard Elena’s father answer him, he said, “Please come and take away this rude child. It is intolerable that he seated himself.”

“Not as intolerable as you not being at your post for the last two hours or my having to serve myself and my guests because the wait staff is also absent. Did you know that when I went to put the orders into the computer that I saw twelve waitstaff and two greeters clocked in since four PM?” I interrupted.

Elena’s father controlled his temper as he informed the snotty bastard to hand me my phone back. In a few words, he again reminded me that I needed to be on his payroll. He told me to send dickweed to find the other staff and have them report here immediately. I got the honor to fire them personally. He did joke that the automatic tip for a big group started at fifteen percent. With alcohol, it went up to eighteen percent. Five percent of that tip went to the bar. There were seventeen of us that ate.

How did I get to seventeen? I don’t remember inviting that many.

Our total was close to two-thousand dollars, netting a tip of three-hundred-fifty dollars. As I waited on dipshit to find the soon to be unemployed, I got the cash from the till in the back and took it into the chef staff to split. Not seeing the wait staff, I took all the dishes into the dishwashing to rinse and then load in the racks for the automated dishwasher system.

I already put away the first two trays that finished when Mr. Snooty came back to say, “We’re waiting.”

“Now that is a concept. Waitstaff, waiting,” I replied as I headed out into the dining room.

Elena sent me pictures for most of the waiters and waitresses that the supervisor sent off to do the busy work he felt was below him. Those not doing grunt work helped the three bartenders assigned to this restaurant to go set up the other bars around this section of the resort. Dipshit greeter tried to blame the chef staff for not calling him and the supervisor when someone came in.

I stood up to my full height, to look intimidating, before saying, “I believe that they did their jobs remarkably well, as is expected from them, so I gave the cooking staff the three-hundred-fifty dollar tip, to split, from my group’s meal. I get to brag. I’m not a waiter, but I did a better job than I thought. Everyone had their food as soon as it came up, their drinks filled, and were satisfied with their meal. So when I call you by name, please step forward.”

I went through the list of names on the pictures Elena sent to my phone. That group I told to please clock out and go home. There were not going to be any more guests eating here tonight. In the morning, they could call in to get their revised schedule. None looked very happy.

If they aren’t happy, then those remaining were going to be madder than hell.

“Now. For the rest of you, your services are no longer required. Security is waiting behind you to take you to clean out your lockers and escort you off the premises. We have video and audio logs of you failing to do your duties from when you clocked in until now. You aren’t getting paid for those hours,” I told them. “It is best that you don’t step foot on any resort property after you depart. I’m sure you know the drill. I found that this isn’t your first dismissal from a resort where you were told not to return to the property or face criminal trespassing charges.”

Surprisingly, it seems they did know the drill quite well. Those I fired blamed the others for losing their jobs. There wasn’t any backlash from them as they cleaned out their lockers and left.

“Can we at least hire you on to be the hatchet-man, David?” Elena’s dad asked, somewhat jovially. “I’ve not seen someone doing as well firing staff since my mentor tried to show me how to do it. It must be you looking like a pro wrestler’s bodyguard. Either way, the ones you fired are known to have made a big commotion when fired from their last few jobs. For various reasons, the staff we hired to work here were unemployed at the time. Each of those here asked us to give them a chance. We did. You fired those who failed. The waitstaff you sent to clock out get a pass because they found a place where work needed doing and did it. We have a policy about keeping at least one waitstaff waiting to contact others if someone comes to the restaurant to eat. Elena is modifying that right now to ensure that policy is understandable at an eighth-grade level, sadly. A supervisor or manager will no longer be permitted to dismiss all waitstaff. Likewise, we now require two waitstaff to be in the restaurant when it is open. They are welcome to be in the kitchen area while they wait. She is informing the head chefs that they are free to teach the waitstaff as they choose during these idle times. There are video cameras to let them watch the dining room.”

At least something good came out of this “exercise” today.

Now that everything in the restaurant was in order, I started walking over to where the other kids said they went to hang out. I didn’t get very far before Avery came rushing up to me, looking worried.

“Have you seen them go this way,” she asked in a complete panic.

“Who? Your brothers?” I asked.

“God, no. My little brothers are off in their small slices of heaven. Both are having sensory overload with the number of activities I saw in their mini-prison. They even have multiple kids to play with that also seem to be Autistic. It is probably best that they have zero modesty even if one already has dick hair. Half the kids in there appeared to have the same issue with most fabrics bothering them. Both may dislike someone touching them, but that hasn’t kept them from learning the female anatomy from my two sisters over the years.” Avery told me as she gave me a grateful hug. “I meant my newly made six-hundred-million-dollar twin sisters. When we arrived, a group of nurses pushed them off toward a small building that appeared to be assembled shortly before we arrived. Once my brothers were settled, I went back to the building to see what these people were doing to them. I freaked out to find both girls strapped down to tables with both stumps in an odd-looking metal device after someone cut them open to expose the bones and stuff inside. Gross. I saw each had dozens of long needles pushed into their stumps. Every needle had a wire clipped to it. I have no idea what the needles were doing to them, but I heard them scream in pain one second, and the next, they moaned out in ecstasy as something made them cum better than they have ever done themselves. Without fully developed legs, they are experts at playing with themselves and have taught my brothers a lot as a result. A nurse told me to come back in a few hours to check on them again. When I returned, both were trying out a new set of leg prosthetics. At least that is what I thought. They have them at home, but only use them to do things they can’t do without legs because they must use crutches to get around. Whatever they have now, it let them move their feet, wiggle the fake toes. Both girls had a full range of motion without needing any assistance. Things were going well until they went to walk on the treadmills. I expected them to begin cursing as they fell, like with the other prosthetics. Instead, the girls had no problems running on the treadmill. That is where things went off the rails. Both got that look in their eyes before jumping off the treadmills and running out of that place, naked. They got their small breasts from dad’s side of the family. If I tried to run like that, I would beat myself black and blue with these beasts. They headed this way. I tried to catch up, but they are much faster than me now. You are in much better shape. Can you help me look for them?”

I nodded and used the place in my head to remove everything between us to get an idea about their location. My phone dinged. It had a map of where they were on a map of the entire resort. At the moment, they were twelve miles away from here, running around one of the lakes. Avery wasn’t about to catch them.

She couldn’t catch them because the beta-version prosthetic legs overheated with the strain they put on them.

“They are about twelve miles from here. From how they are barely moving, I suspect they ran the batteries down or broke their new legs. Don’t worry. I will go get them,” I explained. “The people that took care of Paula, Crystal, Annie, and Trudy are always looking for guinea pigs to try out their latest toys. The girls wouldn’t have gotten the bionic legs if they hadn’t been able to convince some of the best head-shrinking doctors that they were going to do whatever the medical staff wanted no matter how much it would hurt. Everyone else is hanging out at some area with pool tables, TVs, video games, pinball, bowling, and who knows what else. Go on. I will get your sisters.”

Avery got a wicked smile on her face when she said, “They are only eighteen months younger than me. Take off their legs, slide one on your long dick, and the other on your back. Both could use some dick. Neither will try to screw because they are too self-conscious about not having legs to spread, except when getting themselves off in front of my two special brothers. Silly. Right?”

Warning! Loaded question. Abort! Abort! Run far away!

I headed off toward the girl’s location as Avery went to find the others. It didn’t take me very long. I cheated. Using the place in my head, I saw no one was around them, and no cameras, not even satellites, could see any of the resort areas currently. I had my shield expand out under my feet so that my weight spread out over the water so I could walk on water. At a run, I made headed two miles across the lake instead of twelve going on the path around it. Once on the other side, I had my shield go back to normal.

“He said, ‘Jesus walked on the water.’ And I know that is true...”

Hey, Jesus may have been a carpenter, but I don’t think he had my body, and I don’t claim to be the son of God. Can I claim to be a god? Am I a god?”

I soon made it up to where the girls were strolling back to the resort.

“You know a pair of naked girls out here in the middle of nowhere with no one to hear them scream isn’t such a good idea,” I said as I came from behind to put my hand on their shoulders with enough pressure that they weren’t going anywhere.

I soon have my implant tell me that they overloaded their bionic legs and ran down the batteries to the point that movement would give them a quick charge. For the most part, the legs locked straight. The girls had to lean up on to one leg, turn their hips to move that leg forward, rinse and repeat.

I waited for them to calm down from the scare before saying, “It is good that I happen to know the people who made these. Let me give them a call and see what we can do.”

I didn’t need to call anyone. My phone magically had a diagnostic app for the bionic legs. I shouldn’t have been surprised, but each bionic leg had backup batteries. The overheating issue caused a software bug that didn’t let the backup batteries kick in. When the backup batteries were in use, the legs would only go at regular walking speed. As I fiddled with the app, I did recharge the primary batteries but didn’t turn off the governor. Both were very happy to walk normally again. I teased them about their juices shorting out the legs and how that would give them a shock.

“Well, you could help with that by giving us some dick,” one of the twins said. “We both have legs to spread now.”

I replied, “I have a different suggestion. Why don’t we get you back to the mad scientist, get your legs off for them to go over with a fine-tooth comb, and then we see what you can do without them. If you can get around on your stumps, then I’m pretty sure you can take an amazing ride. You won’t have to deal with legs getting in the way. I can already imagine the possibilities, though I’m not sure how sex can work without knees to push into your tits.”

They weren’t too sure if that was going to work for them. By the time we got back to the leg clinic, they had decided any chance to get laid was better than nothing.

Once their legs came off, I saw that they had some metal nubs tacked to the skin of their stumps with a type of super glue for the skin. The nurses fitted custom-molded rubber covers on the end of their stumps. Each leg has a flesh-colored latex “sock” pulled over that covered each stump up to the side of their pussies. Both girls pulled on panties and a dress that stopped just above the end of their stumps. After some exploratory rocking around on the stump covers, they were heading off moving how they had with the bionic legs when they were locked down.

It was past two in the morning, and both girls said they were starving. I called room service to have food brought to my suite. One of the twins called her sister to apologize for running off. I had gotten them back to get their broken legs off. They were going to my room to sleep tonight. When their sister asked if they were going to fuck me, the one on the phone told her to fuck off.

“Ready to go,” I asked them.

After making sure they were serious about going up to my suite, I squatted down to put my hand under their butts to pick them up. Both put their arms around me to hold on. While walking, I worked my fingers under the leg holes of their panties. They didn’t mind me paddling their pink canoes as we walked. When one came, I slipped a finger, and then two, up inside them. Neither complained until I pulled them out when we got to my suite. There was low-alcohol content wine waiting on us with our meal. The mini-fridge had beer and the tiny bottles of liquor. When we decided we were all full, I carried them into the bathroom, where I stripped them before helping them into seats in the hot tub. I picked their seats specifically because the jet was in the perfect position to hit their clits or shoot into their pussy. Both girl’s eyes went wide when they saw my dick hanging down as I got in with them. They enjoyed the water jets until the timer turned the jets off. I helped then dry off, dried myself, and carried them to one of the rooms with a king-sized bed.

“How do you not have blue balls,” one of the twins asked. “You’ve gotten us off more times than we’ve gotten ourselves off in a whole day. We play with ourselves a lot. Not much else to do when you only have stump legs.”

As I moved to lay between the two of them, I answered, “From talking to your sister, I’m going to guess you are both virgins. I wanted to make you feel good so that you didn’t think you needed sex with me to cum. I’m fine holding you two in my arms and going to sleep. I’m not some horny teenaged boy full of hormones making him want to stick his dick into anything warm, wet, and big enough around for it to fit.”

“Good try. We wanted your dick as soon as you walked up behind us to put your hands on our shoulders. I know I hoped you would get behind me to slip it in me any chance we could on the way back,” the other twin said as she moved down to start sucking my dick.

I pulled her around to eat her pussy.

Not having legs to get in the way is helpful. No large thighs around my head to squeeze me.

Her twin sister didn’t like the taste of my dick or wasn’t as interested as her sister, so we moved around where her sister was between my legs sucking me. The other had her pussy over my mouth with me holding onto her butt. She put her hands on the headboard to steady herself. I was licking her gash dry when her sister pushed my legs together and started working to put my dick inside her. She tried a lot of combinations before getting the head to pop inside her. From there, she worked out how to rock her hips to move it inside her. She finally got annoyed at not getting as much dick as she wanted, so she pushed her sister off my face. More adjusting had her fucking the top five inches of my dick. The more she got used to fucking she figured out the best way to get my dick inside her where she wanted. Before we could cum, she was too tired to keep going. Her sister moved in to take her place. She didn’t last even as long as her twin before she couldn’t keep riding me.