Chapter 76

Flashback – Ben – Leaving Moscow

My meal began to bubble, I was almost ready to eat when I got a surprise visitor. A Russian Grey wolf began to approach the back of my козел where I setup the stove and started cooking my breakfast - I assumed she was attracted by the smell of my food cooking. I knew the food cooking had my attention because my stomach growled like crazy. The wolf sat down, about 15 meters from me, cocked her head and gave me a comical as hell look. I could only assume she was confused by the noise my stomach was making. I looked at all the damn food in my ration for the day and knew that I wouldn't eat all of it so I figured what the hell. First I opened the nasty salted dried fish sticks (I never could acquire a taste for them not even after I had many beers) which the Russians ate like fucking candy canes. I tossed one at her, she snapped it out of the air and swallowed it with one gulp. This was entertaining as hell so I tossed more of them, this time making sure not to throw them right at her. She caught all of them like an expert. There weren't many of them so it didn't last for long and she still looked hungry.

I looked at my rations and decided I didn't want the goulash with potatoes because potatoes weren't my favorite food unless they were French fries. I loosened one corner of the tin, tossed it to her and she easily caught it. She demolished the damn tin as she got to the goulash. I was concerned she might eat the tin but she finally spit it out then nosed it around. I knew there was no way in hell I was going to eat the gloopy mess they called gelled pork, hell I even hated the кхолодэ'ц (kholodets - Russian gelled meat made using gelatin). So again I loosened the corner on it and tossed it to her. She caught it and I was surprised as hell when she spit it out. I laughed like hell and said aloud, "I guess I'm not the only one that doesn't like gelled pork." She whined in response and I continued laughing.

My chicken and rice was ready and I closed up the melted cheese because I planned to save the rest of it for later. And of course ran into the one big problem with the Russian officer rations: There were no good ways to close things up and save them for later. It wasn't bad living out of the back of my Козел but the rations had a bad tendency to open up or leak and make a hell of a mess in a pack. The only way to fix it was to eat all of whatever you opened. Hell if they had included some plastic bags it would have helped. I set it back in the tray with the rest of the food, put my canteen cup on the stove to heat the water for my drink mix and began to eat my chicken and rice. It wasn't half bad but it sure could have used a bit of wine and butter. Yuri knew I used those ingredients to make the meals better so I would need to search the back of the козел later to see if he remembered to include those.

The whole time the wolf continued to watch me, it was fucking strange like she was trying to tell me something. I was finished with my chicken and rice, tossed her the empty tin which she caught then began to lick the hell out of it. I complained, "Well if you don't want the gelled pork you can't be that hungry.

The water was boiling in my canteen cup, I added the drink mix to it, blew on it some to cool it down and slowly drank it as I continued to watch the wolf. It was the closest I had ever been to a wolf because we didn't have them in the Rocky Mountains anymore. I took a couple steps toward her to see what she would do - she stood up and began to back away from me while still watching me. I finished my drink mix, stood up stretched and yawned and I swear the damn wolf yawned with me. I decided to take a nap before I took care of what I came here to do. I slid the meal tray back into the Mylar bag, set the stove on the ground at the back of my козел to cool, closed and locked the back of my козел, crawled into the driver's seat, reclined it as much as I could and drifted off...

Flashback – Major M – at the Moscow hospital

Before I left the hospital, I decided to check on Sergeant Blaine's records because I wouldn't put it past him and Sergeant Reynolds to try to pull a fast one on me. So I hauled my ass and my bags to the hospital records department and ran into a problem since no one there spoke enough English to understand me and I still didn't speak enough Russian to make them understand what I wanted. I gave up on the effort and decided it would be better if I went to my hotel, dropped off my bags and asked them if they knew of an interpreter I could hire.

I hauled my ass and my bags out the front of the hospital, hailed a cab, tossed my big bag in the trunk and gave the driver a card with the hotel's address on it. We started toward my hotel and once again ran into another fucking Moscow traffic jam. I was tired as hell and wanted to get to my hotel so I pulled out some money waved it in the air so the driver could see it in the mirror and ordered, "Hotel as fast as you can."

I guess he understood what I meant by my actions and words, but I was shocked when the fucking cab driver jumped the cab onto the fucking sidewalk and floored it. The cab leapt ahead like a rocket taking off, the ever present pedestrians on the sidewalk dodged for their lives and shouted what I could only assume were vulgarities at us. I tried to yell at him to stop but I guess he didn't understand and drove in an even more extreme and haphazard manner. I felt sorry for one old woman who dropped her bags because he ran the bags the fuck over.

I had enough, closed my eyes and hoped like hell he didn't kill someone because I was sure I would somehow be blamed for it. After about fifteen minutes of sheer terror, the cab stopped, the driver said something, I opened my eyes and we were at the hotel, albeit on the sidewalk in front of the hotel. I tossed the crazy assed driver the money I waved, we both exited the taxi, he opened the trunk and a young man came and took my bag. I was glad I didn't have to carry the fucking big bag anymore until the fucker took off running down the sidewalk with my big bag. I yelled, "Hey, I thought you were with the hotel!" It was too late since the young thief and my big bag were gone. Thank God I still had my carry-on bag with my computer; if I had lost that I was sure the Old Man would have shipped my ass back to the boney bitch and Thule.

Another man come out of the hotel, looked at me and said something in Russian. I stared at him and complained, "Doesn't anyone in the fucking country speak English?"

He beat himself on the chest like a fucking gorilla and proudly announced, "I speak fucking good English, where is your bag?"

I pointed down the sidewalk and answered, "Some fucking hoodlum took it."

He proudly beat his chest again and announced, "Yes fucking hoodlums very bad around here, however for enough dollars I might get bag back."

I nodded my head and answered, "That would be very good, but first I want to get to my room and then I was wondering if you know of an interpreter for hire."

I couldn't believe it when he beat his chest again like a fucking gorilla (I assumed it must have been some sort of fucking Russian tradition I didn't know about) and answered, "Yes, I take you to your room so you rest then I look for bag and interpreter."

Thank god there wasn't a problem with the check-in, I figured this being Russia it would be some sort of Mongolian Cluster Fuck but instead it went smoothly. The bellhop took me up to my room, opened the door, turned to me, beat on his fucking chest again and questioned, "Da! Room is nice?"

I had seen better, but compared to the hell hole in Thule I'd just escaped from, this was paradise. I mimicked the bellhop, beat on my chest and said, "Da, room is nice."

He laughed and said, "Da, we teach to speak Russian soon." Then he held out his hand, I knew what he wanted so I gave him a couple bucks. For once he didn't beat on his chest, he smiled and said, "I go to find bag and interpreter."

Once I was sure he left, I double locked the door, opened my computer bag, pulled out my TSCM¹ scanner and swept the room for bugs. Just as I assumed, it vibrated in my hand so much it reminded me of the buzz of the boney bitch's vibrator - this room had the hell bugged out of it! I looked closer, figured out where the cameras were and strategically moved the clothes tree to block the video.

¹ TSCM – Technical Surveillance Counter Measures – a scanner to detect audio or video bugs in a room. It vibrates when it locates a bug so it doesn't alert the persons who planted the bugs.

I sat down the chair to rest and to figure out what the hell I was going to tell the Old Man about fucking Sergeant Blaine going AWOL. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I knew a knock on the door woke me up. I rose out of my chair, walked to the door and demanded, "Who the hell is there."

The answer came from a woman's voice, "You needed an interpreter?"

I opened the door and was shocked! There stood one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. I needed to give the fucking bellhop a hell of a tip! I sure hoped like hell she could speak English so I invited her in. She sat at the table across from me, twirled her hair and we began to talk...

Flashback – Masha – In Moscow

I secretly followed the Major to the hospital records department where because of his lack of skill in the Russian language he was stymied. However, it did give me a great idea. I called the office and put my plan in motion.

Then I tried to call my Jack but unlike him, he didn't answer. I pondered what could cause his lack of response but couldn't discern the reason. I stopped by Ben's room, found Tatiana was still there and still in a state of extreme depression. I decided I would tell her about my plan with the Major in hopes it would ameliorate her depression. I said, "Tatiana, would you like to know our plans for the Major?"

When she turned to me, I could tell she had cried more and she sadly questioned, "Will your plans keep Ben from going to a Siberian Gulag?"

I smiled and tried my best to paint a rose colored picture, "That is my plan because we both know if Ben goes to a Siberian Gulag, Jack will accompany him. The Major has less skill in the Russian language than Jack so I decided we would use Victoria as an interpreter for him."

Tatiana shuddered but then smiled and answered, "I am glad I did not get that assignment - the thought of working under the Major is revolting."

I continued, "Yes, I am sure the Major probably has her clothes off by now and is 'interviewing' her. But she is good at her job and will get every bit of information from the Major without him realizing it. With that information we can assure that neither of our men ends up in a Siberian Gulag."

Tatiana finally smiled and suggested, "Perhaps we could contrive a way for the Major to be sent to a Siberian Gulag."

I laughed and then informed Tatiana about how General Donaldson had assigned the Major to the same room in Thule as Colonel Maggie and even relayed some of the stories we had received. She looked much happier so I finished with, "If we are very good and extremely lucky, General Donaldson will assign the Major to Thule again with Colonel Maggie. Now I need to head to my apartment and pick up some food to make Jack's salad for tonight."

Tatiana looked at me and I was surprised when she questioned, "I wager you called Jack today and he didn't answer?"

I gave her a confused look, wondered if she had become a mind reader and answered, "Yes I did, but how did you know that?"

Tatiana answered, "Masha, I tried to make you understand and I failed. If Jack is taking Ben's place in training today, he is in for nothing short of hades. Ben told me about what they did to him before we met and before he was wounded; it bordered on outright abuse. Jack will need much more than a salad to eat for dinner tonight: He will need a full meal with soup, meat and potatoes."

I shook my head and questioned, "Tatiana are you certain of this?"

Tatiana crossed her heart and answered, "Yes Masha, he will be very sore tonight and even worse tomorrow. Take this and give it to him tonight and another dose in the morning."

I looked at the pills, realized they were Vicodin and questioned again, "You are certain of this?"

Tatiana nodded her head closed my hands over the Vicodin and answered, "Yes Masha, Jack will have travelled through a crucible today."

I took the pills, left the hospital and decided this time I needed to listen to Tatiana. So I stopped by the local market on the way home, purchased more food than I had ever before purchased and rushed home to prepare dinner before Jack arrived...

Flashback – Jack – In Moscow

Son of a fucking bitch! My ass was dragging nine ways to Sunday. I assumed that I would be training with my fucking Spetsnaz team like I had when Banzai was here and I certainly made an ass out of me. Hell when Banzai was here it was virtually a walk in the park compared to today. I complained to Yuri, "You mother fuckers almost killed me today with the training."