Chapter 60

Flashback – Jack – In Moscow

I just told Banzai about Major M coming back to Moscow and he reacted even worse than I expected he would. His reaction made me question what in the hell Banzai had planned, so I asked him and he answered, "Jack, when I get the feeling back in my legs I'm going to leave and take out the rest of those fucking Chechen terrorists."

I knew my face showed the shock about this information so I asked, "Just how in hell do you plan on getting fucking Major M or the Russian officers to approve this mission?"

Banzai didn't give me his silly grin and his face became more serious than I've ever seen as he replied, "Fuck Major M and double fuck the Russian officers! I'm not going to ask their fucking permission, I'm just going to do it."

Hells fucking bells, this was the last thing I wanted to hear! I was just getting ready to settle down with Masha and Banzai planned on doing something crazy that would fuck up everything. I complained, "Well going AWOL might be fine for you, but what the hell about me?"

Banzai smiled and said, "Don't worry Jack, you're going to stay here, marry Masha and run interference for me."

I tried to figure out what was going to be worse: Going with Banzai or staying here and catching all the shit from one of his crazy schemes when the door opened...

Flashback – Tatiana – In Moscow

I opened the door to Ben's room and immediately knew something was wrong since Jack and Ben were more serious than I had ever seen them. Hell, usually they were laughing about things - most of the time something Ben said or did to me! However their normal jovial mood was replaced with solemn faces so I hid my anger at Ben's earlier comments and asked, "What is wrong? You two look like you are going to a funeral."

Ben faked a smile and related a very obvious lie, "Nothing that concerns you Tatiana."

Jack turned, looked at me and added, "I just informed Banzai that Major M is coming back."

Tвойу мат! Things had finally become just acceptable and I knew if the Major came here he would make a mess out of things. I needed to discuss this new information with Masha and we needed to develop a new course of action. I continued with my smile and stated, "Well that is something for later, right now it's time for me to take Ben to his PT."

Ben grinned at me and declared, "I already did my PT in the room."

I delivered my best 'cross nurse' look because I assumed he was referring to our earlier actions. He laughed and explained, "Tatiana, de-stress your breasts, I didn't mean what we did earlier after the sponge bath. I actually did 100 pushups, 100 pull ups and several hundred sit ups."

Jack laughed at the first part of his answer (which made me blush) and commented, "That's right, when I came in he was doing pull ups."

I glared at Ben and complained, "Ben, you are not following the doctor's orders and might hurt yourself."

Ben regained his sense of humor (which I loved when not directed against me), laughed and answered, "Fuck the doctors and double fuck the physical therapists; they don't know shit about what my body needs."

It was time for me to turn the tables on Ben so I resorted to a traditional proverb, "Что ру́сскому здо́рово, то не́мцу сме́рть."

One man's meat is another man's poison. Literal: What is good to a Russian, is death for a German.

I became very frustrated when Ben smiled and replied, "Язык говорит, а голова и не ведает.

The tongue speaks, but the head doesn't know.

I should have known better - Ben somehow knew all the traditional Russian sayings. Every time I used one with him, he came up with something better. I used my stern nurse voice and commanded, "Ben, you are coming to physical therapy."

He smiled at me (I loved when he did that) and surprisingly complied, "Okay Tatiana have it your way. We'll see you later Jack, cut back on the food you're eating, and don't take those fries out of the trash."

I am amazed at how well he got into his wheelchair and longed for the time when he wouldn't need it and we could walk hand in hand back to my place on the cold, snowy Moscow nights.

I escorted him out of the room, closed the door and the first thing he asked was, "Tatiana, how is it coming with Masha and Jack's wedding?"

I looked back at the door to Ben's room so he added, "Don't worry Tatiana, even though I told him not to, Jack is taking the fries out of the trash and will be busy eating them."

I gladly gave Ben a report on all I've done. When I finished Ben praised me and I felt wonderful. Then he ruined it when he asked, "You never did tell me what Masha sold to come up with the money to bribe Elena."

I was glad I talked to Masha about this and even gladder that Ben couldn't see my face when I replied, "She sold her car."

Like I knew he would he questioned, "Really, what sort of car was it?"

I smiled and confidently answered, "It was a Citroën DS."

I could tell Masha had made a mistake when Ben got excited and exclaimed, "That's a great fucking car! It's probably one of the most futuristic and best cars ever built. It had a hydropneumatic, self-levelling suspension so tell me what it was like riding in it!"

Shoot this wasn't going at all like it was supposed to. Ben was supposed to hate the car and not ask any questions. I lied through my teeth, "The ride was incredible, even on the Moscow streets which are plagued by frost heaves."

Ben unfortunately continued with his questions, "So what year was it and what color was it?"

I was glad Ben could not see my face or he would know I was obviously lying. I created my facts and replied, "It was a 1970 and was light blue."

Ben continued his questioning onslaught, "Damn, that means it had the higher horsepower motor with the Weber-32 twin body carburetor and produced 83 horsepower. Tell me what it was like when Masha shifted it because it didn't have a clutch pedal like most cars."

I was totally baffled and said, "Ben, I am really not sure what you are talking about. You will need to ask Masha this question and any further questions because I don't know how to drive."

I could sense the disappointment in Ben's voice when he finally relented on the questions and apologized, "Sorry about all the questions, but that happens to be one of my favorite cars and I would have loved to ride in one."

I inwardly smiled and knew that Masha was going to have an even worse time than I did the next time she encountered Ben.

We arrived at the physical therapy department and Ben once again complained, "Tatiana, can you please tell these fuckers I need a more strenuous program."

I had suffered enough from Ben and determined it was time to inflict some of my own agony so as I left him I declared, "Sorry Ben, but you need to follow the doctor's orders."

Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital

I walked into my room, took one look at the messed up bed, walked over to it and Ewwwww gross! I pressed the call button, Katie came into my room and asked, "Jennifer what do you need?"

I pointed at the bed and asked, "Katie is that a used prophylactic in my bed?"

Katie walked over, looked at the offending article and answered, "Yes Jennifer, it is."

I put on my best Prima Bitcharina attitude and complained, "Katie, how in the heck did that get in my bed! In fact how in the heck did my bed get so messed up?"

She thought about her response and then said, "Jennifer, I hate to tell you this but two of your friends stopped by while you were at the emergency room."

I was sure who it was (but I hoped it wasn't) so I asked, "Which of my so called friends were visitors?"

Katie gave me the worst possible answer when she said, "It was Robert and Megan. Oh, but I'm sure they didn't have sex in your bed."

After Megan's response earlier, I knew better! She and Robert had sex in my bed! I became the Prima Bitcharina and ordered, "Katie, I refuse to sleep on this bed and new sheets are not going to cut it. This is your fricken fault and I want a new bed!"

Katie waffled and answered, "Jennifer, I'm not sure I can do that."