Chapter 56

Flashback – Tatiana – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

Ben Blaine has infuriated me for the very last time! He is as bad as Russian men to wrongly assume that women only have two problems. I glared at Ben and stated, "Ben Blaine, I'm certain that you must know that all of women's problems start with men."

He laughed and countered, "Like hell! God created man first and then created woman from Adam's rib, a cheaper cut of meat." The sarcasm was obvious when he emphasized cheaper.

I decided to express my displeasure by relating to Ben a common joke among Russian women, "Okay Mr. Smart Pants, there is MENstruation, MENtal breakdown and the worst - MENopause. All of those start with men."

Masha added her own thoughts to my tirade, "No, the worst is "HISterectomy."

Ben began his annoying laughter again and confronted us, "Well, if Eve hadn't eaten the forbidden fruit in the garden of Eden we'd all still be living in a paradise. And don't think that I can't spell hysterectomy – it's hy not hi."

I was totally frustrated and in my inebriated state I made a huge error and stated, "Ben Blaine, I hereby fire you as my boyfriend!"

I no sooner made that statement than Masha began to flash me some hand signals which I could not understand. Elena grinned while adding confusion, "So then Tatiana, you will not mind if I date Ben?"

Her statement made me realize my terrible mistake, but the words had already left my mouth and there was no way to take them back...

Flashback – Ben and Elena – In the HIND 24 headed to Moscow

Hells fucking Bells, things were a huge mess! Tatiana fired me as her boyfriend, something I never thought she would do, and now Elena wants to be my girlfriend. This is one huge Mongolian Cluster Fuck! Elena is cute enough and I am moderately attracted to her, but I'm old fashioned and not sure I'm ready to have a bi-sexual girlfriend. Hell, if she became my girlfriend, I would wonder who else or what else had been where I hoped to go. Besides Tatiana and I had history and history was important as hell to me.

I got ready to raise some serious hell when I was saved by the pilot as he announced, "We need to set down at a base and refuel. While we could refuel inflight, it's safer if we perform this on the ground. Please make sure you are secured in your seats. For safety purposes you will be asked to exit the helicopter during the refueling."

Setting down was smooth as a baby's butt, Elena began to help me out of the chopper and I'm surprised when she said...

I need to inform Ben of a very important fact. So as we exit the helicopter I whisper, "Ben, please do not be offended, however I really do not want you for my boyfriend. I was hoping that Tatiana would come to her senses and dispute my claim for your affection, however it would appear that time for that reaction has passed."

I fight back serious laughter and whisper, "That's good, because to tell you the truth I'm not sure I would want the competition from the other gender. So what's the next part of your plan?"

I am shocked and realized that she hadn't sufficiently analyzed the possible results of what she did next...

Flashback – Masha and Jack – In the HIND 24 stopped to refuel

As we left the helicopter, I asked the pilot, "Would it be possible to take a bathroom break?"

He answered affirmatively and Tatiana and I headed toward the bathroom to take care of my problem - that is until something shocking happened...

Well the proverbial shit hit the fan! First Tatiana fired Banzai as her boyfriend, then Elena informed us she wanted Banzai for her boyfriend (now what the hell was wrong with these women?). Masha and Tatiana took off for the bathroom to fix Masha's 'women's problem' (I was both thankful and sad Banzai told me her problem: Thankful because I really didn't want to father a child yet and sad – well because I sort of liked the idea of fathering a child (damn why is it that women always put men in between a rock and a hard place?).

The chopper had spooled down and we heard a hell of a noise behind us - it sounded like someone was having a hell of a fight. We turned and I couldn't fucking believe what I saw...

Flashback – Tatiana – In the HIND 24 stopped to refuel

I was helping Masha to the bathroom when we heard a noise like a fight behind us. I turned around and ... and ... and I could not believe my eyes. Elena was giving Ben, no MY BEN a huge kiss! At first he seemed to fight her but then and even worse he seemed like he began to enjoy it.

Masha urged, "Tatiana if you still want Ben for your boyfriend then you need to do something about this, just do not kill Elena."

I ran toward the two of them and yelled, "Elena, get off my man!"

What she did next surprised everyone...

Flashback – Jens – At the military hospital

I hung up the phone and told the military lawyer, "I need to get to the emergency room."

Like a typical lawyer, he questioned, "What's wrong?"

I shuddered some, thought about telling him a lie, but knew that he would eventually know the truth so I answered, "The phone call was from Daddy, my mother was in a car accident and an ambulance is bringing her here."

The lawyer continued his annoying questioning as I threw a robe over my camo sports bra and yoga pants, "Was your father hurt?"

I became a little worried because I hadn't thought about that and didn't ask Daddy. So I answered, "I'm not sure but I'm heading to the emergency room to check on both of them."

The lawyer said, "Well most of the interview is finished anyway and I need to see about getting your mother into an alcoholic rehabilitation program. Once that's settled then I need to talk to your nurse to see about having her drop the charges."

His last statement surprised me so I stopped and asked, "Drop the charges? I thought you were a prosecutor?"

He smiled his annoying smile again and explained, "No, I'm a lawyer and in many instances, especially like this instance, prosecution isn't the best course of action."

Paying hardly any further attention to the lawyer, I flew out of the room and almost ran down the hallway. I passed the nurse's station and Katie demanded, "Where do you think you are going?"

I didn't have time for her so I gave her my Prima Ballerina attitude, "I'm too busy to stay and chat and if you don't like it you can kiss my rear."

I didn't hear her response because amazingly the elevator opened. I entered and pressed the button for level 1. Why is it when you want something like an elevator to be fast, it seems to have to stop on each floor, and then it takes like for-fricken-ever for the people to get on the off the elevator car? The elevator finally reached the first floor, I rudely pushed my way through the other people in front of the elevator a couple of them complained, "Well I never – Can't you wait like everyone else."

I bitched like the Prima Ballerina I was becoming and answered, "My mother was in a car accident and they are bringing her to the emergency room, so you can all bite my rear!"

I reached the emergency room and was amazed when I saw Daddy with Katie my nurse. I ran up and rapidly asked, "Daddy are you okay? Were you in the car accident? Katie, how in hades did you get here before me?"

Daddy gave me the hug I needed to strengthen me (but wisely didn't squeeze so hard that it hurt my burns), pulled away, smiled at me and said, "I'm fine my girl since I wasn't driving. Evelyn took my car when I was getting some coffee for us."

Katie snidely answered, "Well, it's nice to see the Prima Ballerina has retreated for the current occasion. The JA told me what happened and you should know anytime you need to get someplace in a hurry in the hospital you never take the elevator. I ran down the stairs."

I initially felt badly about how I talked to Katie and considered apologizing until her sarcastic reply. I felt my anger rising and the Prima Bitcherina prepared to respond ... but then the ambulance arrived. Once again it seemed like it took like for-ficken-ever for them to open the back doors and unload the gurney with my mother on it. They wheeled it into the emergency room, right past us and I gasped: Mother, my mother looked really bad! She had blood everywhere, cuts on her face, had a brace on her neck and what looked to be a splint on both of her arms. I started to follow into the examination room when Katie grabbed my arm and told me, "Jennifer, you need to stay out here and let them do their job - you will just be in the way if you're in the exam room."

I was overwhelmed with my emotions. Even though mother had beaten me recently, she was still my mother and I wanted to be by her side. Plus, I'd had my fill of Katie so I yanked my arm out of her hand and prepared to kick her rear when Daddy added, "Jennifer, Katie is correct, the best thing for us to do is stay out here and let the doctors do their job."

I looked into Daddy's eyes, could see how worried he was and decided he was right and I understood he sure didn't need the added stress of me going crazy right now. Katie stated, "Jennifer, I just needed to make sure that you arrived here safely. I will note in your chart that you're here so feel free to stay for as long as needed."

She left, Daddy and I sat in a waiting room chair and held hands. Just when I began to calm down, something else bad happened...