Chapter 7

And that's why we find our little Miss Married screwing her brains out in a 1959 VW Bus whilst said bus is parked in the Courthouse parking lot. After the rude shocks explosions and spine tingling 'funny elbow' collisions between spine and corners of hard metal we now find Andrea instructing William in the intricacies of lifting the bus with the VW atrocity referred to as a corner jack ... VW's do not jack from the bumper.

They have four welded platepipes on the sides of the floorpan that an Archimedes screw and lever fit into. As soon as she was positive that Bill understood how it worked, she trotted down to the Paul Automotive Parts store across the street from the train depot and purchased two new Bilstein Heavy Duty rear shocks.

Since Andrea is Andy and therefore has tools ... and a camera ... she proceeded to photograph the process from loose to tight ... including pictures of the split welds on the KYB OEM shocks.

She captured the judge and bailiff.

"Judge, want to appear in a national magazine?"

That got a nod of approval.

"Lurch, want to get some national recognition?"

Another nod.

So she posed with the judge and Bill while 'Lurch' took a couple of pictures of the supposed wedding ... but after the fact. They took pictures of Bill carrying Andy into the van wearing ... not a gown and tux ... but decent clothes and another few pictures of Andy exiting the van in halter top and shorts ... looking oh so freshly fucked. She sent the pictures and writeup off to 'Bloody Knuckles' with the heading, 'I Got Married.'

The photos were less racy than Jungle Jane's shorts.

The text was hilarious ... the article was reprinted in the rag's 'Best Of' issues. Best Of The Year, Best Of Five Years, Best Of Ten Years and the coffee table slick issue.

In the original issue, KYB Industries authored an advertisement claiming OEM equipment was not intended for such rigorous abuse. The background photo was Andy and cleavage exiting the bus ... Bill's bare legs were seen inside the van. The ad sold millions of shocks. Andy was already rich but that ad had 'residuals' and they kept paying ... and paying ... and paying ... and paying.

Even Bill ... who was just a pair of naked legs got a check twice a year ... even though Andie replaced her KYB's with Bilstein's. Germany LOVED Andie's bus ... and bust.

Life progressed ... life does that ... in it's own sweet way. Bill had a computer break through ... he figured out how many magicians would fit on a silicone chip and computers that had been the mainstays of the industry were suddenly junk, boat anchors, targets ... scrap.

The industry went from ungodly big to a box that fit on a desk ... with room for a monitor, keyboard and a mouse. Bill was paid ten cents a chip for chips made in the US of A, a penny each for chips made in batches overseas and a penny a hundred for Chinese chips.

Hundreds of billions of chips were made until the international patent expired ... seven years. Chips were in cars ... about two hundred in the engine computer and more in turn signal flashers, radios,, air-conditioning, and other devices ... some MANDATED by the government ... like seatbelt indicators.

It was nearly impossible to find a product that ran on electricity that didn't have at least one chip ... and Bill made money on every one ... for seven years.

"What's a penny?" If every person in the world sent you a penny? WHOA!! Think of all the chips in your computer ... double WHOA!!

As was mentioned before I got sidetracked, life progresses. But it's not like a book. A book has direction ... this happened and caused this to happen and on and on until they lived happily ever after ... or not. Life is changes by getting out of bed ... or not. Life changes at every 'MAKE UP YOUR MIND SIGN.' A simple thing like carrying a set of punchcards to the Dean's Office changed Bill's life forever.

In Andrea's case ... her watch stopped. She noticed when her stomach told her it was lunch but her watch told her it was Ten O' Clock ... fifteen minutes later it was still Ten, and five minutes after that she pushed her way out from under the 1923 T and shook the watch. Yup ... stopped. She had had that watch since she was fifteen and she loved it. Andrea is nothing if not mechanical ... she took the back off the watch.