Chapter 23

Weatherman. The only job where you can be wrong five out of seven days and still keep your job.

The 'storm' was a bust ... winds to 25, waves to 3 feet, dime sized hail and lasted three hours.

David called the Weather Service ... he intended to complain. He was on hold for 20 minutes.

"Weather Service: Answers Desk. You have Questions ... We have Answers." The voice bespoke eighteen, blonde, blue eyes, legs, 110 pounds, 5'10", 38C-23-36 ... and someone's act of nepotism.

The beginning was totally boring, but she was human.

Part way through the connection:

David asked, in a complaining voice, "For this I nearly destroyed two Detroit diesels?"

"It was the prairie winds that did it." The young secretary at the Answers Desk at the Weather Service head office said.

"Did what?

"Didn't combine."

"Combine with what?"

"The Canadian Zephyr."

"What does the Zephyr have to do with this?"

"The Zephyr was the storm."

"You just managed to totally confuse me."

"You're welcome," she giggled. "We try to please."

"What's happening over the next five to seven days?"

"I'm going out with Charlie on Friday and Bill on Saturday. Sunday I'm going to church with my mom, then it's uncle Al's for dinner. I'll probably swim in the pool ... the weather is supposed to be good. Monday it's back to this desk."

"The weather? Next five to seven days weather?"

"Oh ... I have no idea ... you'll have to listen to the weather report. If you'll tell me what city I can give you the station number."

"Well? What time of day does Car Talk come on?"

"10AM Saturdays.

"You know when a PBS radio show is on but you don't know the weather?"

"I listen to them every Saturday," she declared. "I never listen to the weather. They're wrong all the time, Click and Clack always give good advice."

"Well...

"That's a deep hole."

"True."

"Could be false."

"Well ... since you don't know I'll be hanging up now."

"Thank you for calling the Answers Desk. I hope we've settled your problem."

David hung up. Andrea burst out laughing.

"Was it as bad as it sounded?"

"Worse ... you couldn't hear her end."

"Let me try."

"You might as well ... the mechanic decided we needed an oil change."

"We just changed it!" She was indignant. "Well ... in Pentwater."

"Yup but we did do some high speed runs. He wants to look at the oil and he's got this huge cutter to check for metal shavings in the filter."

"How does he do that?"

"You know plumbing tools?"

"No."

"It's FM."

"FM?"

"Fucking Magic."

"That I understand." She held up a pocket calculator, "FM."

"Yeah."

She dialed. It was immediately picked up.

"What happened to the storm?"

"Weather next five days?"

"Thank You."

She hung up. David was standing ... jaw on the floor.

Andrea pointed at his jaw, "Fly trap."

He shut it.

"For the lower lakes not including Lake Superior."

She counted off on her fingers:

"1, Tonight, winds out of the north: 10 to 15. Temperature: Air; mid to low 60's. Water: 72. Partly cloudy.

2, Saturday: North west winds: 10 to 15. Temperature: Air; mid to low 80's. Water: 72. Sunny.

3,..."

"Hold it, hold it, hold it," David absolutely snarled, "Who did you talk to?"

"Some college guy, maybe 22."

"No dumb blond?"

Andie shook her head.

"Gimmie that phone!" He hit redial.

He was on hold 20 minutes. As soon as she answered, he hung up. He handed the phone to Andie.

"Just hit redial."

Immediate connection.

"Hi ... Oh ... You remembered. How nice. Hold on, the captain wants to talk to you."

"Hello ... Hello? ... Hello?"

"Weather Service: Answers Desk. You have Questions ... We have Answers."

It was her again.