Chapter 4

April 17, 1984

I dropped into my seat and closed my eyes as the bus started up again. I was tired. I'd pushed myself a little harder this morning, carrying the bags of feed instead of dragging them or carting them. It was probably too much; I knew building muscle took time and patience but, unfortunately, I had never been very patient.

I was distantly aware of the bus stopping and other kids getting on but I didn't bother to open my eyes. I kept telling myself that I just needed a catnap but the pain I felt at the inner joint of my elbows and in my lower back told me that a catnap was just putting off the inevitable. I was going to have to deal with the pain.

As Ben Franklin said, "there is no gain without pain." Ben was a very wise man.

"Yo dude," came a very familiar voice. I opened my eyes to see my friend Danny as he plopped himself down next to me. "Didn'tcha get any sleep last night?"

"Yeah," I replied, sitting up straight and twisting my back a bit. "Just woke up early. What's up?"

"Nothing, man," Danny said, his face bright. I liked Danny even if I only knew him from what I saw in my dream memories. With Danny, what you saw was what you got. From his curly, jet black hair to his sneakers, there was just no deception in hm. "I'm still trying to figure out how you did that to Mark, though."

I rolled my eyes. "Danny, just let it go," I said, looking square into his open, brown eyes. You had to look at Danny's eyes because he had a rather large, slightly off-center nose and your eyes were naturally drawn to it. "I just got lucky, okay?"

"Yeah, real lucky, I'd say," Danny said excitedly. He was almost bouncing in his seat; at first, I thought it was just the normal bouncing of the bus but he was actually moving up and down against the buses ups and downs. "I mean, there he was swinging at you over and over. Wham! Pow! And there you were just moving left and right, watching his fist go by. It was awesome, man."

"All luck," I said, sitting back. "I probably couldn't do that again if I tried."

Danny didn't know how much of the truth I was telling him. Last night I'd tried to reproduce whatever I'd done during the fight without any noticeable results. I'd even gone so far as to jump into the field with the cattle. I ran around and even got one or two to chase after me but I hadn't had a glimmer of my radar or whatever it was. Maybe I had just imagined it.

"Maybe Mark was sick or something," I offered.

"No way, man!" Danny said, his voice raising higher. "I mean, you were there and then Walt was behind you and all of sudden you just..."

"Hey, Buck," Lena said as she said down on the seat in front of me. She had one of her friends with her, a rather attractive brunette named Darby or Darcy, I think. As could probably be expected, I didn't have too many dream memories of Lena's friends. Buck didn't have any real reason to pay attention to them.

"Chance," I corrected mildly. I'd told my parents and sisters about the change of my name last night. Mom and dad had just kind of shrugged, Lena looked surprised and Susie basically didn't say anything. It was probably no big deal to them but it was kind of important to me. Alex was a 69-year old man who had or would die in 2013. Buck was a mixed up pre-teen who'd either tried or had killed himself a few weeks ago in 1984. That left Chance who, I hoped, would merge the best qualities of both Alex and Buck. New me, new name. It made sense to me.

"Oh. Right. Chance," Lena replied, nodding. "Sorry."

"No big deal," I said magnanimously. I expected the new name to take some getting used to. "What's up?"

"Well ... nothing really," Lena said hesitantly. I could tell that she was just getting started. "It's just that ... well, you remember Darcy, right?"

"Of course," I lied. I couldn't tell her I was relying on Buck's memories that were being replayed to me at night one at a time. Evidently, we hadn't hit the 'older sister's friends' section of memory yet.

"Well, she has a little sister in your grade named Mikayla," Lena explained. "I think she's in your American History, gym and math class."

"I think I've heard her name," I replied noncommittally. I had no clue who was in my classes. Evidently we hadn't hit the 'classmates' part of Buck's memories either.

"Well, she kind of thinks you're cute," Lena continued, her words speeding up a little. "She's sitting right over there."

I looked where Lena was pointing and had to do a double take. Mikayla was pretty cute. At first, I wasn't sure why Buck hadn't noticed her before but then I remembered that he was an 11-year old boy and had my explanation. For most of Buck's life, girls were basically the equivalent of frogs: nice to catch but you can't figure out what to do with them.

Mikayla had long brown hair like her older sister but where Darcy had brown eyes, Mikayla had the most fantastic blue eyes I'd ever seen. They were the color of a clear winter sky and almost sparkled. A cute button nose and rather full, pink lips in a round face completed what I could see. As soon as she saw me looking over, of course, she flushed a bright red and looked away but not before she got an embarrassed little grin on her face.

Dimples. I've always had a weakness for dimples.

At this point, given the same situation, Alex probably would have gone back to talking with Danny or Lena or Darcy. He'd have gone over different scenarios in his head, planned his moves out and then, two or three weeks later, he would've made his move ... and been too late.

Buck probably would've just ignored the whole thing. He'd have been confused about what his body and head were telling him, preferring the safety of Danny and the barely tolerable presence of Lena and Darcy.

I wasn't Alex. I wasn't Buck. I was Chance and Chance took risks.

"Hey, Danny, can you let me out for a second?" I asked with a grin. The bus was made for little legs which meant sitting on the bench seat had your knees pretty much up against the seat in front of you. I'd need Danny to get out in order for me to exit.

"What?" Danny asked, confused. I couldn't blame him. This definitely wasn't how his best friend acted. "Why?"

"So I can talk to Mikayla," I said with a smile. I couldn't help it; the confusion written all over his face - the deer-in-the-headlight eyes, the flared nose, the gaping mouth - was so over-the top and so ... so ... DANNY ... that it was kind of funny.

"But ... but..." Danny said, even as he started to move out into the aisle. "What about ... I mean, we always sit together on the way to school..."

"No offense, dude," I said in my best 11-year old imitation even as I scooted out of the seat. "But she's cuter than you." I laughed as I made my way to Mikayla's wide eyed stare.

"Hi, Mikayla," I said with a smile, sitting down next to her. She was probably about the same height as I was, more or less, since our heads were pretty even when I sat down. She still had a boyish, coltish look but there were definitely some small lumps protruding from her chest. "Do you mind if I sit here?"

"N ... n ... n ... no," she stuttered, her eyes remaining wide while a deep red blush crawled up her face.

"Good because I really need a favor," I said as matter-of-factly as I could. My first instinct was to be direct but I thought better of it. She was already embarrassed and nervous and being direct would probably just lead to denials or some other type of defensive protests. I decided to approach this obliquely.

"A favor?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah," I said, toning my smile down a bit. "I was wondering if you could just, I don't know, say hi or something to me when we pass in the hallway today. Nothing really big or anything, just a wave or a hello. Something like that. People have really been avoiding me because of ... well, you know ... stuff I did in the past. I'm hoping that if one person will say hi to me or wave or whatever, it'll kind of break the ice for everyone else. You know, make them more comfortable."

I was surprised at how easily that type of speech came to me; maybe it had something to do with me using Buck's brain pathways or something. As Alex, I'd always tried to use proper grammar; I didn't always make it but it was usually because of a lack of higher education. Interestingly, as Chance I seemed to fall somewhere in the middle.

"I ... I could do that," Mikayla replied hesitantly. I could tell that she wasn't expecting the conversation to move in this direction. I also saw that the confusion at the direction our talk was taking was overriding her embarrassment and nervousness so my plan was working. It really wasn't rocket science, I was just trying to make her comfortable.

"Awesome," I said, turning up my smile. I was pleased this was going so well; I hadn't been sure it would work. It needed just a little something extra, though. "Well, if you don't mind doing that then maybe you could ... I don't know ... sit with me at lunch? It would really help, I think. If you sit with me at lunch, it would show people I'm not some kind of monster or something. Please?"

"Um ... okay," she replied. I could see her confusion growing; this was nothing like what she expected our discussion to be. Confuse and conquer. "Um ... but I normally sit with Sally, Jesse and Anna; you know my friends."

"That would be even better!" I said, turning the smile up even more. "If they don't mind, I could sit with you guys and that would really make people see that I'm still the same guy as before! Do you think you could get Sally, Jesse and Anna to okay me sitting with you?"

"I could ask," she said with a little smile. It looked like she was either over or forgetting to be nervous around me. Mission accomplished.

"Great!" I replied, scooting away from her while maintaining my smile. Time for a tactical retreat; I didn't want to overwhelm her. "I'll get back to my friend now. Thank you so much. Let me know about lunch, okay?"

"What'd you say to her?" Danny asked, his face beyond incredulous. He wasn't the only one. Darcy and Lena were looking at me in utter shock.

"I just asked her to say hi to me in the hallway," I grinned. "Everyone was avoiding me yesterday, so I figure if she says hi it might start others being nice to me. Plus, I asked her to eat with me at lunch. She has to ask her friends about that, though."

"But ... we always eat lunch together!" Danny exclaimed. "You, me and Pete."

"Always until yesterday," I said, my grin fading.

"I thought you were okay with that, man?" he said, his face growing concerned.

"Oh, I am," I said, waving my hand dismissively. "But ... it happened. I wasn't sure you'd be comfortable sitting with me today. Besides, now I've got the chance to sit with 4 really cute girls and I'm not going to pass that up."

I turned to Lena, who was still looking at me like I'd grown a third eye in the middle of my forehead. Darcy wasn't much better. "And I owe it all to you, sis," I said, smiling wide. "Well, you and Darcy, so I guess I owe both of you a big 'Thank You'!"

"Thank you?" Lena replied dully. "Thank you for what?"

"For sacrificing your best friend's sister so I could hopefully make a new friend or two or three," I answered, grinning.

Lena's eyes blinked as she caught up with the conversation. "You are SOOOOOOOO weird," she accused me, dragging the 'so' way too long.

"You're just figuring that out?" I asked, my eyes bright and a big smile on my face. "And here I thought you were the smart one of our family."

"Oh you!" Lena squeaked as she lunged to hit my shoulder. She was smiling as she did it so I didn't try to avoid her. I admit I was a little disappointed when that whole radar sense thing didn't kick in, though. I guess it was just a one shot deal.

School was ... school. Mikayla was as good as her word; waving at me in the hallway and even smiling and giving me a bright 'hi' when she passed me in our classroom. What shocked me a bit was that both Lena and Darcy also waved hi to me in the hallway when we passed, probably breaking a half dozen social rules in the process. I'm not sure if that was what did it, but other kids were saying hi to me throughout the day, so it at least helped.

I got an A on my English test which was a bit of a relief. I had studied and done the homework but tests were always just a bit different and, as Alex, it had been decades since I'd needed to do any of this stuff.

I only managed a B+ on the American History test but I kind of expected that. A lot of the material had come from Ms. Bear's lectures instead of the book, so I was at a bit of a disadvantage there. The grudging A Mr. Rodbend gave me on the Earth Science test more than made up for the lower score in American History. It was one of the highlights of an already great day.

Gym had us playing co-ed basketball, something I was surprisingly good at. As Chance, I had much better reflexes and hand-eye coordination than I'd enjoyed as Alex; I was missing Buck's memories on the subject so I couldn't make a comparison there. I'd learned how to dribble, of course, but I'd never been any good at it in either lifetime – until now. I dribbled, switched hands left to right, and even made shots from all over the floor. I wasn't perfect – I lost the ball at times and missed shots – but I was pretty good and I was pretty darn fast.

Both Mikayla and Pete waved me over when I got through the lunch line. I walked over to Danny and Pete but only long enough to apologize and tell them I was going to sit with Mikayla. Seeing me go towards my friends had Mikayla suddenly frowning but her smile widened when I didn't sit and moved to her table instead.

"Hi, Mikayla," I said with a smile as I set my tray down.

"Hey, Buck," she smiled. "You know Anna, Jesse and Sally, right?"

The truth was that Buck may have known them but Chance didn't. At least, none of the dream memories I had of Buck mentioned these three – or Mikayla, for that matter.

"Uh, sure," I grinned. "You guys don't mind if I sit here, do you?" I figured it was probably a good idea to ask permission here. Mikayla had obviously gotten approval but it wouldn't hurt to make sure.

I sat down when they either shrugged or nodded. Anna was a tiny, little thing; she looked nly a few inches shorter than me but everything about her was just small. She had a tiny head with tightly curled, fiery red hair pulled back into a pony tail, tiny gray-green eyes that were open and inviting. Her tiny, thin nose sloped down to a tiny little mouth with lips that were full and small set in a face that was almost a perfect circle. Everything about her was small and petite, ears, fingers ... I couldn't see them but I would even bet her toes were tiny. The only thing that wasn't exactly tiny was her chest; she'd obviously started developing a little earlier than her friends though they weren't much more than little bumps. Maybe they just looked bigger on her tiny frame.

Jesse was a tall, lanky brunette, easily 6 inches taller than me judging by the way I had to look up when I was seated across from her. She wasn't a beauty queen or anything but she was rather cute in her own way. Her face was overly long and drawn and it didn't help that her hair was pulled tight into two pig tails; if she let her wavy hair lie loose I could see it subtly changing the shape of her face. Her bright brown eyes were slightly too large for her face and her nose was slightly too small, making her face seem flat. She had thin lips but her loose, easy smile and crooked teeth were rather endearing.

Sally was the sole blonde in the group of 4. She wore her straight hair rather short, only barely touching her shoulders. It was combed rather carefully to give it a wind-brushed, disheveled look that was rather more attractive than I expected it to be. Like Anna, Sally had a rounded face but hers was effectively offset by her disheveled hair; it gave the illusion her face was slight longer. The young girl had blue eyes that were rather attractive and sported braces which she only barely showed off when she laughed; her lips were kept tightly closed during smiles and barely open when she talked. Her nose was a short slope, straight and true, and sloped down in a defined cut rather than a curve.

"I'm going by Chance now, though," I smiled quietly. "Buck ... had a few issues and I'm trying to get those behind me."

"Okay, Chance," she smiled. Anna and Jesse smiled as well and I was amazed at how a simple smile made Jesse's face so much more attractive. I mean, smiles usually increase face value (pardon the pun) but it was more dramatic in Jesse's case. Sally, meanwhile, just acknowledged my presence before turning back to watch someone off to the left behind me.

I couldn't help it; none of us could. We all turned to see what she was staring at.

"Isn't he dreamy?" Sally sighed. I was surprised that I knew the person she was staring at from my dream memories. The boy had come up to ask me about Lena earlier in the year but had given up when he found she was in 8^th grade.

'He' was Jason Neuville, a 7^th grader who was far too developed for a 12-year old kid. He was tall at 5'7", with blonde hair worn long over his shoulders. He had piercing blue eyes, a long, firm nose and an easy half-smile perpetually plastered on his face. He was also muscular in a long, thin way.

"Why don't you ask him out?" I asked as I turned back to my meal.