Chapter 19

My dad had a bumper sticker on the Mercury. I'm Not Lost I'm Exploring. In 1956 Pentwater from Saint Johns was pretty much cut and dried.

Saint Johns ... take 21 west to Grand Rapids. Turn right on 31 ... Pentwater!

Not Daddy ... Ionia, Belding, Rockford, Sparta, Newago, New Era, Shelby, Hart, Pentwater ... every one of those towns had a cut ... long or short ... that kept us out of the city limits ... be it back roads, trails or no road at all. (No road at all was the abandoned railroad ... that I remember distinctly but no one else does. I think Mother was in denial about the Rail Road track ... the bridge was terrifying.)

The first time we visited 'the family' it was in a ten year old 1939 Ford Two Door Sedan and we did it like I said ... St. Johns, Grand Rapids, Pentwater. This disaster included Muskegon. It took longer to get from Grand Rapids to Muskegon than the entire trip takes Daddy's way.

And the SMELL!!

"Are we there yet?"

"No David ... I'll tell you when we get there"

"What's that smell? Daddy? What's that smell?"

"A Chemical plant, David."

"It's awful."

"Yes David.

"Are we there yet?"

Drive...

Mother said, "Oh God Charles ... I'm going to be sick ... stop!" ... and she was.

"Are you OK, Vera?"

"NO!! Just go!"

Then CharlieB ... who was older than I by 18 months ... said..."Oh Erp..."

"Charles Beckwith!! Charles ... pull over. I have to clean that up ... do we have any water?"

"No Vera."

"There's water right over there." She pointed at the lake.

"Yes Dear."

"This isn't water, Charles ... it's slime. Find some clean water."

"Yes Dear."

"Are you folks broke down?"

"No officer."

"You can't park here."

"My son was sick ... I sent my husband after water to clean him up."

"You can't park here you'll have to move your car."

"I can't."

"Ma'am!"

"I can't ... I don't drive."

"Jesus H. Christ, lady! Everybody can Drive. If you don't move it, I'll have to call a tow truck."

"Officer."

Daddy held out his Lawyers Card.

"Why is my wife crying?"

Mother whined, "He tried to make me drive."

"Did she tell you she doesn't drive?"

"Yes, Sir."

"It's simple to bully a woman, Officer. But the law plainly states that there is no parking except in an emergency. The state of that emergency is not yours to decide. The emergency is in the mind of the emergent. My wife has decided that vomit on my son's shirt and in the upholstery constitutes an emergency. Who are you to tell her it's not?" Daddy was eminently reasonable.

"Wise Guy, huh?"

"Not at all, officer ... Prosecuting Attorney. Prosecutors are never wise guys. We prosecute wise guys. Are you a wise guy?"