Chapter 1: Dr. Song family

The Cathedra continues arguing, although increasingly less whether sexuality is an individual's personal choice, environmental effect, or is already programmed in our genes and is not an option, but an inheritance from our ancestors as unavoidable as the color of the eyes or hair, the height, a mark on the body, or diabetes. As we'll see in the case of our main character, her genes marked her tendency.

Moira Song is her name. Dr. Moira Song is a forty-eight year old gynecologist, divorced, with only a twenty-one year old married daughter, Christine. Everyone inside her family knows that she is bi in her sexual preference; in truth, she is a closet lesbian and well advanced in her way to be a lesbian mother with incestuous tendencies on her mind. A path known to her in that she has been a lesbian daughter.

Her married daughter, who is a student at some University, got pregnant by her student boyfriend and they were forced to marry as a result. Since they didn't have the means, and his parents were unwilling to support a family of students with a child, Moira Song took them to live with her in her parent's old mansion, at her expense.

Dr. Moira is the only child of a family in which her parents' attitude and failed marriage marked her for life. Her father was a renowned obstetrician, whose greatest ambition was that her only daughter would become a famous lawyer, not a medical doctor, and least of all, not a gynecologist.

Her parents married when they too were both in the University; her father was a professor and her mother was a student. They met, they either fucked or made love, and she got pregnant. She was twenty-three and he her senior by fifteen years. Nobody who knew them thought the marriage was going to last, but they were still together after forty-five years; yes, they live in the same house, but only that. They are no more than enemy-friends and have been so for almost thirty-five years, an enmity not declared, but clear in all acts of their lives, and their daughter has known it.

Dr. Geoffrey Song was British by birth, the son of a second rank diplomat in the British Foreign Service posted in the United States when his son was a mere five-year-old child who, when his father was given the order to go to a new diplomatic destiny after some twelve years serving in the United States, refused to go to the new diplomatic destination with his family and stayed in the U.S. Dr. Geoffrey had always had an acute insecurity about his sexual orientation, he didn't like to date, and in fact, nobody in the faculty had known him date with girls or women before his sudden marriage to his pupil.

Most of the faculty members had him as a little strange, aloof, even rude sometimes, in his attitudes to colleagues and students. Some thought him to be asexual, not interested in sex with either gender. Aah, they were so wrong. Since Dr. Geoffrey was a teenager, he had what he saw as a strange compulsion; he felt a tingling effect in his manhood when near a good-looking boy or young man. His rigid Lutheran early education made that sensation a sin, something from the devil, something to fight. So in his concept, the best way not to sin was to abstain from any thoughts of sex, and oddly enough, that timid attraction for his own sex led him to study gynecology, a field in which he acquired the reputation as being one of the best.

What was his reasoning for choosing this discipline? Simple; in his naivety, he thought that the sight and permanent contact with hundreds of vaginas in a clinic practice would change his natural tendencies and make him like and appreciate the feminine sexual organs. It was a major surprise to him, that in no time at all, the sight of a pussy, no matter the beauty, the age of its owner, or of the pussy itself, was disgusting. It wasn't so strange, since the people performing in many areas hate their trades, nonetheless are very good at it, and he was very good attending women.

And what about the adventure of his marriage; why did he marry at all? Practically the same motives for choosing to be a gynecologist; he was trying to overcome that attraction about young boys or men. In addition, his bride to be, later his wife, was from a very rich family, and with a good private clinic practice and his professorship, although not a pauper, he wasn't as rich as he would be with the passage of the years. So he married himself an heiress.

The relationship of the new married couple went from lukewarm to cold, and was freezing cold by the end of their fifth anniversary. Having sex fell from once per month, to once in a while after the birth of their daughter, and stopped altogether after the third year. Bitterness was the word, they fought constantly, and in contrast to the majority of the fights most couples have, money wasn't the reason; the reason was, or so it seemed to, hatred for each other. If one asks oneself the reasons for this hatred, it is difficult to explain. It apparently was the sum of thousands of small things, with a prominent one, sex, or lack of it.

They had a beautiful baby girl; they had money enough to live comfortably and improving substantially with each passing year; the wife has money of her own, and liberty to use it as she wanted. They had the liberty to be with whom each would like, only keeping up the social and family appearances. They went together to family gatherings and social events, always with smiling faces and naturally joking and intermingling in conversations. The perfect couple; only their daughter knew the truth. Poor girl.

When the explosion came one day, ripping their tenuous family tissue, fate willed that twelve-year-old Moira was home and heard their very bitter discussion, with accusations and confessions between her parents this time that rocked her unstable world even more. She was accustomed to her parents' fights, knew that her parents didn't make love, and that her mother was unfaithful to her marriage wows.