Chapter 6

Eleanor considered her future as she contemplated her journey through menopause. She alternated between anger and despair that she could not control or at least manage her tomorrows. Would it be an easy passage lasting only a couple of years or would it be a long, protracted process lasting many years? She was conscious of some recent weight gain and she was unhappy with her appearance after all those years of almost automatic satisfaction with her looks.

She tried hard not to dwell on it and carry on with her life as normally as she could, but every day there seemed to be a reminder of these changes and her feeling of helplessness as they overtook her. She tried to read books and articles on the subject, but found herself loosing concentration and even interest in the variety of conflicting information and advice they contained. She briefly considered Estrogen Replacement Therapy, but rejected it when she saw the risks of breast and uterine cancer as well as Gallbladder disease. In the end, it was Roger who found her path forward.

Roger approached Eleanor's announcement of menopause as he would any other issue. He would study, analyze, form a plan of attack and then, act. It was the typical linear approach of an engineer and it was the only way Roger knew how to address this problem. Unfortunately, as Roger was soon to discover, it wasn't that simple or straightforward. As he began to read more about the exclusively female condition, he quickly understood that each situation and the response by Eleanor could differ from any text-book depiction that he might consider.

He began to notice the changes in Eleanor. She appeared to have gained weight and her skin-tone had changed. She was still a beautiful woman, but he could see that she needed to address these changes and restore her former physical condition. While he couldn't alter the natural course of her ageing, he could do two important things. First, he could encourage, if not demand, that she better manage her diet and return to her exercise classes. Every book he read placed high importance on these two elements. Second, he could be her cheerleader and her coach. He would not allow her to fall into a state of depression or lose her sense of self-worth. More importantly, he would talk to her and let her know he was aware of what she was going through and that he would be at her side and help her in any way he could.

He knew that some changes in their sex life would also take place. It was possible, if not likely, that she would suffer from vaginal dryness; a lack of the natural lubrication that they had so taken for granted. Her vaginal walls would thin and this could produce soreness and he would have to be aware and sensitive to these changes. Water soluble lubricants and creams with one or two percent estrogen content would help. One thing he couldn't predict would be her appetite for sex. It could be erratic or it could diminish, or in some cases, she might become very aggressive. He would have to play it by ear and respond to her as best he was able.

Roger had postponed talking to Eleanor about his thoughts until he thought the timing was right. Unfortunately, that moment didn't occur for several weeks and only then quite by accident. They had spent the day together one Saturday and when they got back to the apartment building, Eleanor decided she didn't want to go out that evening as they had planned. When Roger suggested he cook dinner for them, she declined, saying that she was too tired to enjoy a meal and would be just as happy to have a hot bath a go to bed. Roger then suggested that she should eat something for her own good and Eleanor snapped.

"Stop telling me what's good for me, Roger! I'm not a baby and I'm not an invalid. Just leave me alone for now," she said angrily.

Roger was initially taken aback and then slowly recovered his wits.

"No! I will not! Eleanor, you are going to sit down and I am going to explain a few things that I think you need to know," he said authoritatively

Eleanor looked at him in a state of almost shock. He had never spoken to her this way before and it was a side of him she didn't know existed. As the elevator doors opened on the eighth floor, he followed her out the door and waited as she unlocked her apartment door. She was still nonplussed at his outburst and watched him warily as she took off her coat and hung it on the nearby stand.

"Eleanor, I'm sure you think I'm unaware of what you are going through and to some degree, you are correct. However, let me tell you what I want for you to make this part of your life better; not just for you, but for me as well."

He looked at her carefully as he sat in a large wing chair while she lowered herself onto the sofa. She hadn't said a word since his outburst in the elevator and was curious just what he wanted to say.

"Eleanor, you know I love you very much. You know I will do anything for you. I know these last few weeks have been difficult and if my research is correct, it's going to go on for some time. I've decided that you need some help and that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Roger," she finally spoke. "I know you mean well, but how can you possibly help. This is a woman's problem and we have to deal with it ourselves."

"You're wrong. You need my help and let me tell you why and how I can help," he insisted forcefully.

Once again, Eleanor was surprised by his insistent attitude.

"Firstly, you need to get back to your exercise program. You need exercise every day and I'm not just going to be a spectator, I'm going to be there with you. Understood?" he asked.

"Yes." she answered hesitantly.

"Secondly, you need to change your diet for a couple of reasons. It will make your life easier and healthier all at the same time. I will provide you with a list of the appropriate items and the corresponding benefits. We will both adopt this new dietary regime. Understood?"

"Yes." There was a curious look on her face and just the hint of a smile.

"Good. Then you will enjoy the benefits of my being your coach and chief motivator over the next years. I want "my Eleanor" and I'm going to do everything I can to keep her one of the most beautiful and charming women on this planet. When you have a problem or you aren't feeling well, you will come to Doctor Roger! Understood?"

"Yes, Roger." She was laughing now. She stood and went to him and gingerly sat on his lap. "You aren't going to take any shit from me are you?"

"Not if I can help it. But then, if I do this right, there won't be any to give!" he said with a self-satisfied grin. "Of course, it won't be easy in the beginning ... that is until I have you fully trained."

"What!" She wrapped her arms around his neck in feigned anger. "You are in for quite a time, Roger. I hope you know what you're getting yourself into." With that, she turned her head and kissed him passionately.

"No, not really. But we're partners, Ellie. We share our lives and if I can, I want to make this ... time ... easier for you. But, much of it you will have to do for yourself. I'm just not going to let you give up or let yourself go. You're too important to me.

"So, what should we be having for our evening meal, Doctor Roger?"

"Well, let me have a look in your refrigerator. If necessary, I can always zip down to the market before it closes." He walked into the kitchen and surveyed the cooler and the freezer compartment. "I think we can make do with what's here, Ellie. Allow me to look after it," he said with a confident smile.

"OK, fine with me." Eleanor agreed. She had followed him into the kitchen and was curious what he would prepare from her larder.

"What we need to do, Ellie, is to cut down on fats and carbohydrates. We need to manage our intake of cholesterol and balance our intake, morning, noon and night."

"By the way, Roger. What kind of a Doctor are you?" she grinned.

"I'm a Doctor of Divinity, Madame. When this is all over with, you'll think of me as a god," he answered glibly.

Eleanor laughed heartily. It was the first time she had truly laughed in quite some time. Secretly, she was enjoying this new take-charge attitude of Roger's. She knew she needed something to get her motivated and it would seem that Roger had volunteered to give her a kick-start.

Later that night, after the dishes had been done and put away, Eleanor tentatively opened a new line of discussion.

"Roger, you said you've been reading about menopause. I guess you must have read about ... well ... what happens with our sex life?" she asked questioningly.

"Yes. I have." he said looking at her. "I know that there are some things that we need to talk about, so why don't we?" he said seriously.

Roger covered what he had learned about Eleanor's comfort and enjoyment when they were intimate. "You have to talk to me, Ellie. You have to tell what you enjoy and what you don't. I only want to make you happy and satisfied. If you feel I'm not giving you what you need, you have to tell me that. Don't be afraid to tell the truth, dear," he concluded.

Eleanor leaned toward him and put her head on his lap. He bent to kiss her gently and she placed her hand on the back of his neck to hold him in this tender moment. She felt more optimistic than she had in many weeks. She had the support of the man she loved and she knew he had thought very thoroughly about what their future would entail. If he wasn't afraid, there was no reason she should be either. She felt relieved to know that she wouldn't have to face this time alone. It was a feeling that was to last throughout the next five years.

It had been almost two years since Steve Inhalt had left Toronto and headed to the West Coast to start his new life. Roger had been talking to him on the phone weekly and was pleased to hear that Steve had found a house in West Vancouver. The property featured a spectacular view while the house was in need of renovations. His son was excited and full of enthusiasm for this project and was back to his former self.

It was early one May Saturday afternoon that the phone rang at Eleanor's apartment. She was just leaving to do a bit of shopping and picked it up rather that letting it go to the answering machine.

"Hello, Eleanor Thompson speaking." she said authoritatively.

"Ellie, it's me, Ev." came the quiet voice.

"Hi Ev, what's up?" she said brightly. She hadn't heard from her sister Evelyn for a couple of weeks.

"Oh, Ellie, it's horrible. I can't believe what's happened. It's horrible," her sister wailed.

"Ev, calm down ... what's horrible?" Eleanor asked firmly.

"It's Julie. She's been raped, Ellie. She's been raped ... at a Grad party. She's in the hospital," Evelyn sobbed.

"Oh, no! That's awful. How is she? Is she going to be all right?"

"I think so. The doctor thinks so. She was drugged, Ellie. Some guy made her take drugs and then they ... raped her. It's awful ... so horrible," she continued in a strained voice.

"Oh, poor Julie. The poor kid. Oh, Ev. I'm so sorry for her and you. Have the police caught the guy yet?"

"No, but they think they might be able to. They think they know who it was," she said angrily. "Ellie, they think there was more than one of them. She might ... she might have been ... you know ... ganged up on," she sobbed between hesitations. "John's beside himself. I'm afraid he might do something crazy if he gets near them."

"Oh Ev. This is so unfair. This should never have happened to my lovely young Julie. I hope they castrate those bastards!" Eleanor was becoming angrier with each passing minute.

"I have to go to the hospital with John now. We've already talked to the police woman and she was super. She said it wasn't Julie's fault. It was some kind of drug ... she called it a 'Date Rape Drug'. I've never heard of it but the woman said it was getting to be way too common. Anyway, I'm rambling now. I can hardly think straight. I'll call you later and let you know how she's doing."

"Give her my love and tell her we're all pulling for her," Eleanor said with tears in her eyes. They signed off and she slowly hung up the phone. All thoughts of her shopping excursion were gone and she sank into the chair by the phone, lost in thought. "What is it about this family that we seem to carry a curse?" she wondered to herself. She sat there for some time before picking up the phone and calling Roger.

She recited the call from her sister and wondered aloud if she should go to Vancouver and support her sister. She could afford the time off, but wondered if she could really help her niece. It was Roger who suggested they both go and even if they only stayed a few days, it would give Roger a chance to see Steve as well as support Ellie with Julie and her family. They decided to leave on Saturday and return the following Saturday. Eleanor booked the tickets the next morning and both took emergency leave for the following week.

Eleanor stayed with John and Evelyn at their house while Roger stayed with Steve in his apartment. They visited Julie every day in the hospital and it was a relief to see her progress each day. She was in some pain internally and it would be some time before she would be physically healed, but both Eleanor and Evelyn recognized that it would be her emotional healing that would be the most difficult.

Later that week, Eleanor spoke to John and Evelyn about having Julie stay with her for a while during her rehabilitation. The change of scenery and the removal of the painful memories would be difficult at best, but more likely if she was far from the scene of the crime. They reluctantly agreed that it would be a last resort if they felt she was not making progress at home. They were nervous about her being so far from them, especially after the trauma she had endured.