The Past

Anna, Tiffany, Moira, Susan, Marisa, Jennifer and Louise. These are the names of girls I've dated, starting in seventh grade and ending in the summer between my freshman and sophomore years at the local two-year community college.

There is only one girl that I've wanted my whole life—my Sister!

She had no idea how I felt—how I feel?

Her name is Tessa, the nickname I gave her when we were young kids together. I'm Joseph. She calls me Joe. I'm turning twenty in three months while she's only seventeen.

Due to the intricacies of genetics, I'm a blond while she's a redhead. We've been close since I was nine and she was six.

We would constantly show up in the other one's bedroom, to play a board game after bedtime.

There was Monopoly, Scrabble, Chutes & Ladders (her favorite), Operation, Clue, and Life (my favorite). Almost every night, we played one of these. I kept some in my room; she kept the rest in hers.

Despite her being younger, she was incredibly smart. She would always beat me at Scrabble while I was at my best playing Life. She constantly caught me trying to make up a word to fit my letters.

She loved saying, "Challenge" after I put down a word like 'BLUF' saying it was spelled with only one 'F' alternatively. More important than who won the game was the fun of playing the game. Her freckles and dimples just made my day.

When we started, we both were wearing boy's style pajamas, with me sitting near the pillows and she sitting cross-legged at the foot of the bed. We kept an informal tally as we went. She won over 60% of the time, and I wasn't trying to lose.

With every school year, we got better at the games. We got Electronic Battleship, which allowed us the chance for homemade sound effects, when you hit or sank each other's ships. She got so good at it, so quickly; I almost wanted to give up.

But, I knew she would likely throw a fit, if I ever did that. Our Monopoly games were epic. They would typically take a week to finish. Being older gave me some help playing this game. I understood the art of 'the deal!'

Trading Illinois and Indiana to get Park Place was one of my better deals. She enjoyed catching Mediterranean and Baltic Avenues, and putting hotels on them to get her percent of my $200 for passing go. We had a family rule that all taxes were paid to the middle of the board and landing on Free Parking meant you got that money, but had to seed the pot with $100 with each payoff

When Trivial Pursuit came out, I asked for it for Christmas. I got the game while Tessa got some Add-on sets of questions, including the Disney group.

When I accidently found out that Santa was Dad, I kept it from Tessa—I was thirteen, she was ten.

As we grew up, our sleepwear changed, I was now wearing pajama bottoms without a top. She, now needing a bra, wore it under a T-Shirt with pajama bottoms. It was her way of showing she needed a bra, but obviously wore the T-shirts to hide her most embarrassing bits.

When I got my own computer laptop, for high school, we found most of those games and tons more online. Mom and dad limited us to the free games. Now, we played Monopoly by moving the laptop back and forth. With the laptop, Dad got me an Amazon gift card, to get some nicer games. I found some older cheaper games, and our new favorite was Sim City for the computer.

Not a board game, but we took turns with the other giving out ideas for how to beat the scenarios.

I was seventeen, and she was a fast maturing fourteen. She was told to wear more clothes around me, but she didn't ask why. I knew why.

I was getting into schoolwork more, occasionally bowing out of our evenings pursuits, Trivial and otherwise. I had started reacting physically to my sister, getting boners daily.

When I was in my room, working on something, she would walk in, lean in really close and ask, "Whatcha doing?"

"Homework Tessa, when you get in high school the teachers start to give out a lot more homework," I answered. She was right up behind me, looking at the screen. She smelled awesome, and occasionally she would rub up against me. I believe it was by accident.

"I miss you," she said.

"We've grown up Tessa, as you get older, you become more responsible. I need my sleep, so I can't stay up and play anymore."

"OK, Joe—there was a new game I heard about, but if you have homework ... I guess it will have to wait until later!"

Oh, she was good at this—making me guilty about whatever she wanted from me.

I kept typing on my paper about the Civil War, when she gave me a hug from behind. It felt awfully good. I dropped my hands from the keyboard asking, "What game is it?"

She let go of me saying, "Spin the Bottle!"

Catching a breath, I asked, "Have you ever played it before, Tessa?"

"No, I was hoping you would teach me how to play it," she responded.

"It really is a better game for more than two people," I said.

"My best friend Ivy told me that too, but I want to learn how to play it with my big brother," she said with that smile that always gets to me.

"Just a minute. I need to save this document first." I saved it and closed the laptop.

She had a bottle of water, and we got on the floor putting the bottle between us.

"Go ahead and spin," I said.

She did and it pointed at her.

"What do we do?" she asked.

"Spin again," I answered.

She did and it ended up pointing directly at me.

I waited to see what she thought was the proper reaction. She leaned over and gave me a kiss on the lips. When she pulled away she giggled saying, "Did I do that right, Joe?"

Blushing, I said, "Sure did. Was that the first kiss you've ever had?"

She blushed now, and quietly said, "U-huh!"

I spun the bottle with it ending up pointing at her feet that were tucked under her. We both leaned across and I gave her the exact style kiss she gave me.

"Joe, what's a French kiss?" she asked.

"That's a kiss with more than just the lips making contact," I said.

"What else is there besides the lips?"

The struggle within me was strong, as I got up and said, "We need to get to bed, Tessa. We'll talk more about this tomorrow, all right?"

"OK!" she said offering her hand so I could pull her up to her feet. She smiled and headed out as I said; "Don't ask anyone else about kissing. I promise I will answer all of your questions, OK?"

"Sure thing Joe, you are the best big brother ever," she said giving me a great big hug before she left.

"And you are the prettiest sister I have," I said with a smile.

I went into my bathroom and couldn't pee because of my erection. I just waited and I finally emptied my bladder. I fell asleep thinking about kissing my sister.

I gave her a chaste tutorial about kissing, including French kissing. She became as good at giving as she was at receiving.

She started dating as I readied to start community college. Tulsa Community College to be specific. It was a 30-minute drive from Claremore, Oklahoma where we all lived.

Getting a car when I turned sixteen, allowed me to be on my own. I was going to TCC for a general education, and then transfer somewhere else for a degree in something.

After the first month of traveling 30 minutes one way, Dad asked Tessa to go with me and find an apartment to live in. He had said I was likely to get a nice place with a pretty girl on my arm.

The next Saturday, I took my sister—who had dressed up for the trip and we went together to look at apartments. We arrived at a place called Lincoln Park Apartments.

"Tessa, for purposes of this trip, we are not brother and sister, OK?"

"Does that mean I'm your girlfriend?"

"Yes, so we call each other Joe and Tessa, you understand?"

"Sure do, thank you for bringing me along, Joe," she said kissing me on the lips.