Chapter 20

"Lessee. Assaulted by a bucket of water ... with bits; nearly speared by the mop; we're at thirty thousand feet, one engine out and in the Great Lakes Triangle ... Selfridge Base thinks we're nuts ... what else can go wrong?" the gib asked the pilot.

"What? I'm pretty busy here."

And he was, one armed wallpaper hangers or one legged men in ass-kicking contests had it easier than the pilot of a two-seat twin engined Mig-31 ... the ONLY Mig-31 in the USAF ... the ONLY captured Mig-31. The only twin engined two seat Mig-31 outside of Russia. The Mig was aloft for familiarization flights pursuant to placing the interceptor in the OPFOR (OPosition FORce) similar to the several Mig-21, Mig-23 and Mig-19 aircraft already used in that role. Those aircraft had YP designations ... the '31 hadn't been in captivity long enough for the REMF's to give it a designate. Besides that, "That's a negatory, Ivan. We don't have it. Have you lost one?" Unless one was very well versed in American idiom ... the sarcasm would never be noticed.

'If I don't get this sweet aircraft back to base in not necessarily operating condition, I believe my wife won't like posting to Alaska ... neither will my girls ... and that will have dire consequences to my romantic interludes!' thought the pilot. Continuing in the same frame of thought, 'I think the Navy had the right idea ... Go Down With the Ship.'