Chapter 19

"What the fuck is that?" the Lieutenant asked the Captain.

"What?"

"Look straight up, sir, ' said the GIB (guy in back).

"That's a mop bucket, Anderson," said DiCaprio.

"It's flying," said the GIB.

"Umh ... I think that's more of a fall than flight," said the pilot.

"It's keeping up with us," said the GIB.

"I'll slow down," said the pilot. He cut back of the throttle.

The plane slowed ... so did the bucket.

"I'll speed up," He throttled it.

The bucket performed. It was like a barrel roll and a sudden stop.

"I'd have to say that's more of a collision course than ... SHIT!"

That was the sudden part.

"That's going to be hard to explain, sir."

"If we get down safely, I believe the damage will explain itself," DiCaprio said.

"What is going to explain running into a mop bucket at thirty thousand feet?" asked the Guy in Back.

"Evasive maneuvers training was lacking in mop bucket attack?" said the pilot. "I suppose we ought to contact base and mention we have a Houston size problem." He sighed heavily and began the call.

Then they were buzzed by the mop.

Witches fly brooms, everybody knows that. Who flies mops? Sailors, of course.

And that brings to the reason for the bucket. It was full of puke and mop water and it smelled bad so David pitched it out the hangar bay hatch.

Force fields are marvelous things. They are pervious to big objects but impervious to tiny ... like air molecules. Big objects include sail boats and mop water ... mop buckets ... and mops.

The tower at Selfridge answered.

"What kind of a problem?"

"We've ingested a mop bucket," replied the Captain.

"Ah, that's above my pay grade. Let me get you the Colonel," Tower replied. He released the TALK button.

The airman seated next to him said, "You have a nutcase ... must be some kid with a surplus radio. Keep talking, I'll get the AP's (Air Police) on it."

"Tell me about this mop bucket," said the tower.

"Yellow ... heavy plastic. It's got a red triangle with a stick figure falling because it slipped ... Whoa! That was close!"

Tower said, "What was close?"

"The mop."