Chapter 4

Bobby sat on the park bench, thinking.

He wished life wasn't so complicated. It was summer. School was out. He was not supposed to have to consider serious, adult issues. Or even teen issues. Damn it, they weren't even in high school yet!

The day with his mother had been fine. Even fun, at times. Mom was great. A little serious, a little controlling, maybe, but moms were like that. He wouldn't expect her to be any other way. She had taken him shopping, to stores he liked as well as, well, others. They'd talked. About Dad. Other stuff. Mom wasn't one to open up to him, but she tried. He loved her for that. Trying was all he asked. They were done about 2 PM, and she let him go out, do whatever, before dinner. Bobby had thought about going over to Kevin's, but saw Vicky's bike was still there. Figuring they were busy ... he came here.

He wasn't jealous. Not of Vicky. You couldn't be. If nothing else, Kevin would beat him up if there was any sign to it. And he'd beat himself up, too. After all, it was Vicky.

Bobby had no experience with love. Looking back on his life, he realized it was something he hadn't even seen much at home. His parents had ... well, he now knew why things had been how they'd been. At the time it was just how parents behaved. And he couldn't blame his Mom. It may have been silly, or naive, to have gone into marriage thinking Dad had been "cured", but he had played along too. Said he was now ... straight.

Fifteen years was a long time to string a wife along with a lie.

There would never be lies between him, Kevin, and Vicky. There couldn't be. They were always open about everything, so far as he knew. They would have to be more so from here on out. One lie, and their group could shatter. One lie, and the foundation of his entire life would be gone. His parents splitting up, he could deal with. Not well, no, but ... he could, and would, survive.

Breaking up with Kevin or Vicky would kill him.

Bobby looked across the park. Some boys he knew were playing basketball. They wore shorts, half were shirtless. If he was gay, that should excite him. He should find some of his fellow teen males cute, sexy, at least physically.

He didn't.

That, he thought, was the main reason the whole gay thing had not reared its head before now. While, yes, looking at boobs had not given him a boner, neither had looking at guys. As they shopped today, he had looked at the men around them. Looked to see if any did anything for him. Some were definitely hunky. Some he took a second look at. Yet...

It took a few hours for him to realize all of those looked a bit like Kevin.

The idea that he might not be gay, but, well, a Kevin-sexual, wasn't all that comforting. It just made him more confused. More unsure of who he was. He'd been thinking about the problem for at least three days: shouldn't he have the entire issue of who he was settled by now?

Movement off to his right caught his attention. A white bike with a brown rider slowed as it approached the bike rack.

Vicky.

That was one of the features of knowing each other so well. They seemed to always be able to find the other, no matter where in the neighborhood they were. He watched as she dismounted and locked up. Vicky was definitely pretty. She always wore the same jeans and t-shirts they did, but of late they had started looking very different on her. He also liked her hair, the curly mass just looking perfect. Always the same length. He had no idea how she did that.

He didn't wave as she walked over. There was never any need for that. Bobby scooted over a bit on the bench, leaving room for her on his right. When Kevin was there, naturally, he sat to the left of Bobby, with Vicky on the other side of their friend. When it was just the two of them, she sat on his right, as if so neither took Kevin's place in the natural order of things. Things got funny when Kevin showed up unexpectedly, and there was an unspoken rearranging so they ended up in the correct sitting order.

Bobby wondered if all friendships were like this.

Vicky smiled as she got closer. That was good. It meant things went well with Kevin. There was definitely something different about her, about the way she looked, even though it was the same outfit she had worn at breakfast. She plopped down next to him.

"Thought I'd find you here."

"Been looking long?"

She shook her head, stretching her legs out before her.

"Naw. We saw you ride by his house, so knew you were about. I don't have to be home for another hour or so."

He nodded as they lapsed into silence. Her shoulder pressed against his.

"We didn't do much," Vicky said, at last. He regarded her questioningly. She shrugged. "Kissed. A bit more. Pants stayed on."

Something about that shrug caught his attention. Bobby looked at her chest. Her breasts, always nice, were different. Better. They looked so round, under that white shirt. Her nipples pressed outward, forming two points ... his eyes widened.

"You forgot your bra."

Vicky's eyes widened as well, going down to her chest.

"Damn," she growled. "I knew I was going to forget it. Must still be in his room."

"I definitely like the look," he said, grinning. Her eyes turned to him, questioning, her hand going to his knee.

"You do? Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded, slowly. "I do." His eyes took them in again, then went down to her hips, legs. "I also wish you wore shorts more."

"That's not very gay of you." Her hand squeezed his knee. Bobby shrugged.

"I don't know what I am anymore."

He looked down in his lap. He didn't like the bitterness in his voice. He wasn't bitter. What he was might be in question, but he wasn't bitter. Wasn't...

Vicky's left hand touched his cheek, gently moving his head to face her. The hand on his knee moved up, caressing his thigh.

"You're Bobby."

Her eyes.

Bobby just looked into those eyes. He knew them. Had seen them his whole life. Yet...

He wet his lips, turning away from her.

"I feel," he said, softly, "the same way that I did when I looked at Kevin the other day. When I took his hand for the first time since we were little kids, and had to do it to cross the street. It's like..."

"Like your stomach is in a knot, like you can't think, yet all you can think about is the person you love."

"Yeah." He looked back at her. Her eyes were wet.

"I couldn't do much," Vicky said, "because it was just Kevin. I ... I need both of you. Together. I love both of you. It's not right if we're taking turns, doing things without one of us. We have to be three. Always." He nodded, slowly. That made sense. That made so much sense. Her red lips slowly smiled, and he felt his own grin matching it.

"I wish we were back at the fort so I could kiss you," he said. She laughed, looking around.

"Yeah, me too. I wish we were together right now, somewhere alone. We probably shouldn't be a couple in public, more than we have been, that is."

He nodded.

"Mom would really come down if she thought we were in love. No more sleepovers."

"I think mine would understand," Vicky said. "Might not like it, but she may assume we're doing stuff anyway. Dad, no, he'd kill you and Kevin. Gonna have to be careful tomorrow night."

"Yeah."

They sat in silence for awhile.

Vicky saw her first, coming from the soccer field.

She knew Nitya. Not, well, in the who a person actually is way. Rather, she had a few classes with her, and when asked to pass back tests and homework could match the written name to the face. Kevin, she knew, was horrible at that. Even kids they had known since kindergarden, he sometimes forgot their names. Very amusing, or so her and Bobby thought. Nitya was Indian, at least in the same way Vicky was African. Not that Africa was a country, but neither parent had been able to give her more details than that. Didn't matter, anyway. Ethnic pride was lower on her priority list than school pride, and that was nonexistent.

What caught Vicky's attention was the small, light brown girl pausing next to the swing sets, looking at her and Bobby. Nitya had stopped in her tracks, looked around, looked back ... then started walking over. Half casually, half hesitantly. Definitely interestingly. Both teens were looking at her as she reached them.

"Um, hi." She smiled, nervously. She stood before them in a light blue and white top, with thin shoulder straps, and blue jean shorts. Blue flip-flops and pink painted toenails completed the outfit. Very cute, as was she. Vicky thought she looked a lot better than those who tried to look sexy (and ended up looking slutty). Even the short black hair, parted in the middle and curling just under the ears, was nice. She smiled back.

"Hi, Nitya. What's up?"

The girl bit her lip.

"Um, you two are friends of Kevin Drew?"

Vicky exchanged a glance with Bobby. He shrugged.

"I can't stand the guy. How about you, Vicky?"

"A jerk." She looked back at the now unsure teen. "Yes, we're friends. The only ones who can stand him, really. Why?"