Chapter 9: Passing Through

May 1974

April was giving way to May. Jim turned in his final project. He thought it came out well, and Professor Stark did, too. Final exams were looming. Jim knew that he was prepared and that meant that he would do well.

His wrist was healed well enough to put him back on the Track Team. It didn't look good for a letter in his final year. Jim figured he had to get at least a third in one of the three remaining dual meets and a third in the Conference Championship. Points earned in the Conference Finals counted triple those earned in dual meet points.

The two things most on his mind, of course, were Hildy and getting an answer from Douglas Chemical. Hildy had gone up a big notch since their last date when it rained on their picnic. Having declared for each other it seemed natural to think about the future and all that meant. The non-answer from Douglas made him feel like he was walking on quicksand, but Professor Stark told him to be patient, so he was.

Rich was busy at the stove making dinner. Jim wanted to help but Rich told him to stay out of the kitchen because Jim was so nervous that he was driving him crazy.

"They're sure taking their sweet time," he said to Rich. "What could they be waiting for?"

"You asked me that already about fifteen minutes ago," Rich answered, not even looking up from the pot of spaghetti sauce he was stirring.

"I suppose, but..."

"They want to see if they can drive you nuts before they answer you," Rich said. "I think they are. Didn't Stark tell you not to worry?"

"If they weren't interested in you they would have sent you a 'no thanks' letter long ago and put an end to it," Jim's professor had told him.

"Why don't you think of Hildy, and how you're going to get her into bed? That should make you feel better."

Jim knew Rich was right. He had to admit that he wasn't thinking enough about Hildy in recent days.

"Just don't re-injure your wrist while you're making yourself feel better," Rich said as an afterthought.

"If you weren't making dinner I'd throw something at you. Why don't you pass me a beer," Jim said.

Rich shook his head.

"Beer is not allowed with spaghetti. There's a bottle of Chianti over there. Drink some of that."

Jim poured himself a glass of the dry wine and one for Rich and brought it over to him. He sat at the kitchen table. He took a sip.

"So, you and Hildy are officially a couple," Rich mused. "I wouldn't have believed it last September, but here you are."

"I suppose so," Jim said. "I wouldn't have thought it. It's just working out that way."

"Just tell me something," Rich said as he set two plates of spaghetti and sauce on the table. "Would you buy a pair of pants without trying them on first?"

"Maybe," Jim said.

"Would you buy a car without taking it out for a test drive?" Rich asked again.

"You never know, Rich. Stranger things have happened."

"Would you consider riding a horse before checking out the saddle?"

"The answer is 'yes', Rich. Hildy and I are a couple now, even though we haven't made love," Jim said.

"I wasn't talking about 'making love'," Rich said thorough a mouthful of spaghetti. "I was talking about..."

"I get it, Rich. Now that Hildy and I have a different status, I have to call it that. Anything else wouldn't be right."

Rich was chuckling as he twirled the spaghetti around his fork.

"I know it's not how a lot of people would do it. If we were starting over we might not do it the same way. But Hildy has just gotten inside me so deep that I don't even want to think about being without her."

"I'm going to start calling you 'Rainbow Trout'," Rich laughed, "because she's got you hooked and she's reeling you in."

Jim couldn't help but laugh a little bit as Rich pretended to turn the crank on an imaginary fishing reel.

"I suppose it's true," Jim admitted. "But so far I've gotten the better of it. She does a lot for me and I'm always scrambling to make things up to her after I've screwed up. She accepts getting the short end and never complains. I just hope I can make it up to her before she figures it out."

"You didn't utter the "M" word, did you?"

"No, but it was a close call. Hildy picked up on it and she said it. I told her I couldn't propose to her without a job in hand first."

Rich shook his head and began winding his imaginary fishing reel again.

"Promise me one thing," Rich said. "You two are actually going to do it someday, aren't you? This isn't some sort of priest-nun thing, is it?"

"You can bet on that. It may be soon. I think I'm going to ask her to come down for the formal dinner-dance."

"Two virgins going at it," Rich laughed. "If I had any money I'd pay it all for the movie rights."

"Don't worry Rich, we'll figure it out."

"Well, if you need any help..."

"Don't worry Rich, we'll figure it out," Jim said again for effect. "By the way, are you taking Chelsea? It will be your last chance to take her anywhere decent before you graduate."

"I already asked her. We'll be going to her place later, so you and Hildy can have the whole place to yourself."

Jim thought a moment while he finished off his Chianti. He poured himself another glass and filled up Rich's glass, too.

"So you and Chelsea are becoming a couple, too."

Rich held up his hand like a traffic cop.

"Whoa," he said, "for us it's strictly recreation. I'm heading for my job in Illinois after graduation and she has another year to go. After that she says she's wants to work in New York City, so never the 'tween shall meet."

"Chelsea seems to be alright, even after living in the same apartment as Ashley for two years."

"Ashley's not so bad. You just got off on the wrong foot with her," Rich said. "She taught Chelsea a lot of things and for that I'm grateful."

"Who's taking Ashley to the formal? I've never known her to be without a date at this event."

"Stevie Sadowski," Rich answered, "a good match if there ever was one. She'll trim the horns off that little weasel."

On the second Saturday of every May the fraternity held a formal dinner-dance to celebrate the end of classes. Most of the brothers rented tuxes or dinner jackets. Their dates would wear formal gowns made of some kind of silky, shiny, showy, pastel-colored fabric with matching cleavage.

Jim had only taken a date to the affair a single time and that didn't turn out like he'd hoped. In his first, as a freshman, he waited table at the event as all pledges were required to do. The other two years he sat with the contingent of brothers who went stag and borrowed the other brothers' dates for a dance every so often. Later, when they tired of dancing (which could be sooner rather than later), they would retire to the basement of the frat lodge where a keg of beer was waiting.

It was going to be Jim's last spring formal dinner dance, and for some reason that he couldn't completely understand, he decided to forgo the keg in the basement and wanted to take Hildy. He was hoping that Hildy might be able to pry herself loose from her father's house.

Hildy had been ready to move out of the house to Darlene's apartment until Darlene developed landlord problems. She was becoming less afraid and her parents seemed to accept it. He was sure she would be home after the dinner hour, so he gave her a call.

The conversation started with small talk and she asked if had heard from Douglas Chemical. After saying 'not yet' he told her about the Track Meet with Bucknell the following weekend and how he needed at least a third to have any hope for a letter. Then he got to the point.

Jim: "Hildy, what are you doing a week from Saturday?"

Hildy: "Nothing; not yet at least. I promised that I would go to Aunt Mildred's birthday party the next day. Her age is catching up with her, so I don't want to miss it."

Jim: "How about coming down here for a visit. There's a formal dinner-dance Saturday night. It will be my last one before I graduate. How about it?"

Hildy: "I don't have anything to wear to something like that."

Jim: "You must have something. Maybe you could pick up..."

Hildy: "Jim, a gown like that will cost a lot of money—more than a week's pay. Do you really want me to..."

Jim: "I didn't realize that. But..."

Hildy: "I do have a long, pink skirt that I wore to a Valentine's party once. It should still fit. I could wear it with my silk, ruffled blouse. Would that be okay?"

Jim: "Perfect!"

Hildy: "There are hearts embroidered on it. I'll have to take them off."

Jim: "If it's all the same to you, I think I'll wear my navy suit, instead of rent a tux."

Hildy: "Sounds like a fine idea to me. We'll both slum it."

Jim: "What about your father? Are you going to get away?"

Hildy: "I'll do it. I'll work something out. I'll worry about that."

They spent a few more minutes talking about other things.

Jim: "Hildy, we've got to hang up. I could drive up there for the money I'm eating up in Long Distance."

Hildy: "I'll see you soon. I'll write to you tomorrow."

Jim left his key for Hildy under the doormat on the Saturday morning of the formal dinner-dance. He didn't think that he would be there when she arrived. He didn't think that Rich would be there, either, because he had to pick up his tux and do some other errands that afternoon.

.

Jim couldn't be there to meet her because he was competing in the final dual meet of the season against Bucknell. Before the meet he thought he had a good chance to score a third. As it turned out, Jim scored a second as he got over seventeen feet for the first time and Bucknell's best vaulter didn't compete because of an injury. Jim re-injured his wrist on his final attempt in which he hit the bar. He had already cinched his second place in his second try.

After his event was finished Jim went to the locker room to get treatment on his wrist. He was sitting alone with an ice pack on it with nothing to do but think.

"That could have been my last meet ever if this wrist doesn't shape up in time for the Conference Finals."

It would have been a shame to finish his athletic career that way, but the possibility didn't bother him all that much. He sensed that his life was changing. Graduation would be in less than a month. A job offer might be on the table by then. He and Hildy were a new item, though few people knew it. He included her every time he thought about his future plans. Track meets and fraternity parties were fading fast in his priorities list.

"Hildy! I almost forgot. She must be at the apartment by now."

He wanted to call her to be sure she had found the key he hid for her. There was no phone in the locker room that he could find. He knew there was one in the coach's office. If it was open he would just give the apartment a quick ring. He got up from the chair, complete with ice-pack and walked to the coaches' suite of offices.

"I knew it would be locked."

He tried them all—even the head football coach's door. They were all locked.

"It's getting to be three-thirty. I'm wasting time."

He was hoping that someone with a key would show up and let him into an office where he could use a phone. He could hear the muted public address outdoors announce that the relays were beginning. That was the culmination of the meet and would take about an hour to do all of them. He knew no one would be coming back to the locker room until they were done.

"I'm not waiting around."

The trainer had told him to leave the ice-pack on his wrist until he came back to look at it. Jim didn't care.

"What's he going to see when he 'looks at it', anyway?"

The wrist would have to heal with or without the ice. He thought that it felt better. He tossed the ice-bag aside. He showered and then left for his apartment.

It was after four in the afternoon before Jim was able to coax his Rustmobile to the crest of the hill where his apartment sat. As he did he saw Hildy's purple Duster in the driveway. Rich's car wasn't there, but Jim knew that he would be retuning soon. He parked and then hurried down the terrace steps. He looked in the picture window and saw Hildy sitting at the kitchen table working on a sandwich and a glass of milk.

He borrowed a few seconds to look at her before he went in the door. Hildy was dressed in shorts and a top, just right for the late spring weather. Jim could see that her hair had grown just a bit hair longer than when he'd last seen her. She looked nice. Most of all, Jim liked something that he saw that couldn't quite explain.

Maybe it was that she looked more comfortable in being where she was, like she belonged there. She seemed unworried and that was something that Jim had seen too few times. Perhaps, she looked a bit older. He had seen enough. Time was wasting and he opened the door.

"I found the key right where you left it under the mat," she said as Jim walked into the apartment. "I was hungry so I made myself a sandwich. I hope you don't mind."

"Hildy, I'm glad you're here."

She rose to her feet and a broad smile etched across her face.

"Me, too," she said.

Jim moved to where she was standing and held out his arms. She stepped forward and into them. Jim felt her arms encircle him and her hands on his back. They shared a long, gentle kiss. To Jim it felt good and he decided on the spot that the stab of pain in his wrist was worth cutting short the ice treatment.

"Let's make tonight the night," she whispered in his ear.

Jim felt himself begin to shake. He wondered if Hildy could feel it.

"I'm sure she can feel it. How could she not feel it?"

"Hildy, are you sure?" he asked, "Because, if you're not ready, it's okay. We could..."

"Don't you want to?" she pleaded.

"Of course," he answered.

"Well, I sure do," Hildy said before he could say any more. "I decided it the moment I hung up the phone the night you asked m to go to this party. I was thinking about it so much driving down here today that I had to pinch myself every so often so that I could concentrate on the road."

"Then, tonight it will be," Jim said.

It seemed so final to Jim after the months of telling himself why they were right to put it off. A whispered proposition and an 'of course' meant that the longing for the first time would soon be ended. Of course he desired the end of waiting, but it seemed to him a perfunctory 'good-bye'.