Chapter 4

"So, how have things been going?" Jennifer asked Claire.

"I have to say, much better than I expected," Claire replied.

"That's great to hear. Tell me about it."

"Well, Peter and I have been taking it ... fairly slowly. But we have been, well ... taking steps."

"Good. Like what steps?"

"Well, we tried what you and Steven suggested."

"The breastfeeding?"

"Yes."

"And that went well?"

"Yes, very well. We've done it three times now."

"That sounds encouraging. So, how has that felt?"

"You mean, how has it felt physically, or emotionally?"

"Both, if you're willing to share."

"OK, sure. Well, physically ... goodness. I love it. I just wish more than anything that there was actually milk coming out of my breasts. I don't know what that feels like. But even without it, having my son suckle my nipples is just, like nothing I could have imagined."

"That's good. How about emotionally?"

"Well, that's a little harder. I mean, it's fine, for both of us I think. It doesn't seem too weird or anything. But, well there is something that's a little challenging."

"What's that, Claire."

"All three times, Peter has gotten ... excited."

"OK, that's normal. What happens when he does?"

"Well, he wants me to ... he wants to ... he asks me to ... do something about it."

"You mean, he's getting sexually aroused and he wants to engage you?"

"Yes."

"And? Have you?"

"No. No, I haven't. Well, the first time, he put my hand on it. He was so very hard. I could tell. Just through his pants, I mean."

"OK. Go on."

"He really, really wanted me to, to touch it, not just through his pants."

"And you didn't do that. How come?"

"I just couldn't. I felt ... guilty, I guess."

"So what happened?"

"The first time he just pressed against my hand for a few seconds and then ... you know ... right in his pants."

"Did that embarrass you?"

"No, not at all."

"How about the next time?"

"The second time, pretty much the same thing happened. My breasts were out, he was sucking them and caressing them. It felt so wonderful. And he got ... hard ... again. And he wanted the same thing. But I didn't feel right. So he pushed against my hand again, and he, finished."

"OK. What did you feel guilty about?"

"I'm not sure. Just, that it's wrong, of course. He's my son. And, I'm married and all."

"It's normal to feel those things, Claire. What about the third time? You said it happened three times?"

"The third time ... well, I still couldn't do it. But instead of pushing against my hand, he kept sucking my breast, but he took his ... thing out himself, and he ... took care of it."

"Peter masturbated while you were acting out nursing him?"

"Yes."

"Did you want to touch him, Claire?"

Claire looked at the floor.

"Y ... yes. I feel terrible, but yes I did want to."

"Why do you feel terrible, Claire?"

"Isn't it just wrong ... for a mother to actually want to play with her son's ... erection?"

"Just so you know, Claire, you can say the words if you want. You can call your breasts tits, or boobs, and you can call Peter's penis his cock or dick, and you can call his erection a hard-on and so on."

"OK, thank you Jennifer."

"No problem. So, you were feeling guilty, just in general, because Peter is your son?"

"Well yes. Should I really want to play with my son's hard cock, Jennifer?"

"We try to avoid talking about what we should do, Claire. But, maybe this will help you a little. Remember when we said that when you worked with different counselors here, you would hear some of our stories, about the experiences we've had in this area?"

"Yes."

"Well, I'll share a little of my own experience, OK?"

"Sure, that would be good, I think."

"My situation isn't exactly like yours. In my case, it's my younger brother. When we were growing up, we just ... connected with each other. Probably from the first time our mom gave us a bath together, we were fascinated with each other. As we grew up, we always wanted two things. We wanted to be together, and we wanted to be naked."

"Really?"

"Yes. Every chance we got, we would take our clothes off and play naked."

"Were your parents OK with that?"

"At first they weren't. They tried to stop us, but we just kept taking our clothes off and they got used to it. Then we started to explore each others bodies. But we did that in private mostly."

"Were you ... having sex or something?"

"For a long time it wasn't sexual. Believe it or not I even had his penis in my mouth and he kissed my vagina many times and it wasn't a sexual experience. But all of a sudden, he started getting hard-ons. And boy was I fascinated with that. And about the same time, my vagina began lubricating. And he was just as fascinated with that."

"So, what happened then?"

"Then my parents started walking in on us while I was on my knees sucking my brother's dick, or while I was spread-eagle and his face was buried in my cunt. And that freaked them out."

"I'll bet it did!"

"But, as much as they talked to us, took us to therapists, tried punishing us ... we were simply drawn to each other. We learned to hide it from them, and they learned to look the other way. We were totally normal in every other way."

"Wow. So, what ended up happening, Jennifer?"

"Few people know this about us, but my brother and I have lived as husband and wife for ten years."

"Oh my."

"Yes. We both married other people. We never stopped wanting each other. We met many times behind our spouses backs. We felt guilty just like you. We even tried to get our spouses to accept how much my brother and I needed each other. But that was a disaster. Finally we both got divorced, we moved across the country to a place where no one knew us at all, I went back to my maiden name, and we've lived as man and wife ever since. We have two children together, and we're very happy."

"That's amazing, Jennifer. I don't know what to say."

"My point in telling you is twofold, Claire. First, as we've suggested, part of what you'll learn here is that relationships between closely related family members do exist. They're often normal and natural to those who are involved in them. It's not always that way, but it can be."

"What's the other part?"

"The other part is that, ever since I first touched my brother's cock, even before it became sexual, I've never stopped wanting to touch him, to masturbate him, to blow him, and to screw him. And he feels the same way. So my point is, no matter who thinks it's wrong, it just is. We have a magnetic connection and neither of us could help it. We can talk about shoulds and feeling guilty all day long. But in the end, we simply want each other, brother and sister nor not."

"So, are you saying that I have that kind of connection with my son?"

"It's very possible. But that's what we're here to help you figure out, Claire."

"This is almost too much to get my mind around. Um ... can I tell you something, Jennifer?"

"Of course, Claire. Anything."

"I do want ... I do want to touch my son's cock. I can't tell you how much. When he first took it out, when he was sucking my breast, and he took it out ... his cock, and I saw it when it was totally hard ... ohhhh I wanted to touch it, I wanted to suck it! Oh Jennifer, when he came, I wanted to ... taste it so badly."

"I completely understand that, Claire. And that's part of what I'm trying to help you understand ... that those feelings are totally normal, for you. They're not for everybody, but we're here to talk about you and not everybody else. If Peter feels the same ... if he wants those things too, then we want to help make them happen for you."

"Thank you, Jennifer."

"You're welcome. You know, there is one thing we might try, if you'd be open to it."

"I want to eat her pussy," Peter said to Steven. "I don't care if it's right or wrong. I love my mother so much, and I want to be with her in every way."

"Sounds like you're pretty sure about that, Peter," Steven replied.