Chapter 3

Claire and Peter did their best to look calm upon Bob's unexpected entrance. But no matter how quickly they recovered, Bob felt that his suspicions were confirmed. He didn't know whether or not his wife and his stepson were actually doing anything, but his sense was that something had abruptly finished when he came in.

All three went their separate ways after a few minutes of awkward conversation. Claire anticipated a blow-up when she and Bob went to bed that night, but to her surprise her husband was unusually quiet. Not wanting to stir up anything, Claire went along and mimicked his silence.

Claire invited both Peter and Bob to the first appointment with the new group of therapists. As she expected, Bob declined. But Peter said he was glad to go. After being greeted by Annette, whom Claire had spoken with on the phone, Claire and Peter were invited to wait in an office adjacent to the reception area. They were soon joined by a man and woman who came in and sat across from them. They introduced themselves as Steven and Jennifer, two therapists from the practice.

"Claire, Peter, thank you both for coming in," Jennifer began. "Claire, I believe you got an overview of what we're all about on the phone, but so we get started in the right way, and so Peter gets to hear the same thing and ask any questions, we'll go over it again."

"We're a group of licensed therapists who all have experience with intimate family relationships. We know that neither our profession nor our society accepts relationships like these. But we also know that they're more prevalent than most people believe. We also know that they carry huge challenges for everyone involved."

"For that reason," Steven continued, "we all decided to work together, kind of, under the radar of those who wouldn't allow us to do this kind of work. We've all had personal experience in one way or another, of intimacy with one or more family members. So right off the bat, we want you to know that we've been there."

"What we're really here to do is help you to figure out what you want out of your relationship, or relationships, and to help you achieve that," Jennifer said. "But you'll be the ones to decide how you want things to go. If either or both of you decide to not pursue intimacy any further, then we'll help you figure out the best way to do that."

"So, how are we doing so far?" Steven asked. "Does that all make sense? Peter, how about you? Do you understand all of what we're talking about?"

"I think so," Peter said. "We're here because of what my mom and I talked about the other day; about the feelings we have for each other."

"That's pretty much it," Jennifer said. "Claire, do you have any questions?"

"I ... I don't think so," Claire replied. "It sounds like it's just what I thought. I can't believe you exist. But I'm glad. Oh, I guess I do have one question."

"What's that?" Steven asked.

"You said that you all have personal experience with these kinds of relationships. Can we ask ... Will you share with us, who your relationships are with, and how they work?"

"What each of us shares is up to us. As we work together you'll learn some of those details from whatever counselor you're working with, and you'll probably work with several. For now we'll keep those details out of it."

"OK," Claire said. "That seems fair. So, where do we start?"

The therapists suggested that for the first part of the visit, Claire and Peter split up. Jennifer took Peter to another room, and Claire stayed behind with Steven. Both mother and son admitted right away that they had very strong feelings for one another, and also that neither of them had any idea of how they should proceed, especially because of the presence of Bob in the house.

Jennifer and Steve each asked their client a variety of questions about themselves, their relationships with others, and their specific relationship with one another. Peter was surprised at how comfortable he felt with a woman asking him questions about his sexual fantasies, masturbation routines and use of pornography. And Claire had no hesitation in talking openly about her sex life with both of her husbands, her feelings about her own body, and her role as a mother.

After an hour alone with their client, Jennifer and Steve brought mother and son back together. The therapists conferred in private for ten minutes or so before coming back to the room.

"We've both gathered a few of the same themes or occurrences that seem significant and which we think might give us a starting point," Steve began.

"You both talked about Peter's early childhood," Jennifer said, "when as we understand it, Claire was building a career and traveling a great deal. Peter didn't talk about that period with any pain or resentment. But we did get the impression from the both of you that for the first five or six years of Peter's life, a lot of the normal bonding that happens between mother and child was simply missed."

"I always left Peter with his father," Claire said, "or with caregivers we completely trusted, mostly other family members. My late husband and I agreed all the way that I would build my career, then take some time off while he built his. I never meant to neglect Peter, ever."

"You don't need to feel any guilt, Claire," Steven replied. "We have no sense that you abandoned Peter in any way, nor does he." Peter smiled at his mother, put his hand on her knee and shook his head. "But there's a phenomenon that most people don't know about called Genetic Sexual Attraction, or GSA. It usually occurs when close family members have been separated from an early age, then reconnect later in life. There are genetic similarities that manifest themselves in certain behaviors and even physical characteristics that make the parties very appealing to one another."

"We think that perhaps a combination of the time you and Peter spent apart during his early years, and the closeness that formed between you when Peter's father passed away brought about some level of GSA, even though you were never completely separated."

"Another thing that we think may have contributed," Jennifer added, "is the fact that, because of the geographic distance between the two of you, you never breastfed Peter, Claire."

"No, I was gone so much that it was never really an option."

"I never really thought much about it," Peter said. "I mean, obviously I don't remember anything like that from when I was a baby."

"One of the things you shared with me," Jennifer said, "which you said was OK to say in front of your mom, is that you've always been especially attracted to breasts, and in particular large breasts like your mom's."

"You said that, huh Kid?" Claire asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, I couldn't seem to hide it."

"There's no reason for anyone to hide anything here," Steven said. "This is a totally safe place."

"Well, we have something we'd like to suggest," Jennifer continued, "something for you both to at least consider. We understand that, while you've kissed a little, you haven't gone any further than that." Claire and Peter looked sheepishly at one another, smiled and nodded their heads. "You may want to talk about this first, but in cases like this we sometimes suggest that you play out the act of breastfeeding."

Claire obviously knew that their discussions might lead toward intimate contact between herself and her son, but she didn't expect such a suggestion right away.

"It's important to remember that this isn't something we necessarily see as a sexual act, but rather an attempt to recreate some of the normal mother-son bonding that normally happens when a child is in infancy."

Everyone was silent for a bit while the idea sunk in.

"So, how does that idea feel to you, Peter?" Steve asked.

"Um ... well, it's not like I haven't thought about doing that a bunch of times."

"You have?" Claire said with a feeling of some surprise.

"Yeah, Mom. What can I say? You have a rack that's ... wow. All my friends talk about it."

"Get out of here! A rack? Are you serious?"

"Yeah, Mom."

"Claire, how do you feel about the idea?" Jennifer asked.

"I should probably be aghast, but I'm not. For whatever reason it seems ... natural. But, how would we ... How should we..."

"Obviously you'd fine some time when you're totally alone. Maybe start by hugging and talking about how you're feeling. Then, see if things progress."

"It's a good idea to start off not thinking about this exercise as sexual," Steve said. At least, not at first."

"One of three things may happen, all of which can be helpful in knowing where to go next. First, one or both of you might hate it, and that's a time to just stop the experiment. Come back for your next session and we'll talk about it. But that would be an early indication that you may not move toward physical intimacy in your relationship. Secondly, it may be a time of closeness that you both enjoy and that goes no further."

"Or... ," Claire said. "What's the third possibility?"

"There's a chance that it may become sexual," Steven said.

"And what do we do then?" Claire asked.

"You proceed slowly and cautiously," Jennifer replied. "You stop when either of you feels uncomfortable, and again, you come back and we'll help you process whatever happened."

Jennifer and Steven intentionally ended the session before Claire and Peter could reach a conclusion about whether or not they wanted to consider the suggested experiment. The therapists wanted the two to figure it out on their own, then come back to their next session to process the results.

The car ride home was quiet for the first few minutes, with neither mother nor son quite knowing what to say next. Claire finally broke the ice.

"So ... Do your friends really talk about my rack? I can't believe I'm using that word!"

Peter laughed and Claire followed, which lightened things quite a bit.

"For sure, Mom. They all think you're hot."

"Do you talk about their moms like that too?"

"The hot ones, yeah."

"I guess I should be flattered, huh?"

"Totally, Mom."

"Of course I'm mostly interested in what you think."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I haven't exactly been showered with attention or compliments for a while, so I don't always think I'm much to look at."

"Mom, seriously? I told you, you're completely and totally hot. You're beautiful, in every way."