Chapter 11

This was not a conversation Don had ever expected to have.

Lessa had brought a large breakfast tray up into his quarters, and both she and Shelly were now seated at a small table quietly breaking said fast with him. Don wondered what looks Lessa had gotten, acting the part of a waitress as she walked through the bridge to get up here. That was another problem to add to the pile he'd have to deal with that morning.

He looked over at Shelly, and saw that she, too, was in a thoughtful mood. He caught her occasionally giving him long glances as she chewed on a bite of sausage. When caught she didn't look away, but instead challenged him to back off himself. He did the same, and, finally, the whole situation caused Don to laugh and put down his fork. He looked over at Lessa, who had spent the meal gazing at both of them, thinking unknown thoughts.

"I feel like I'm having breakfast with your mother."

Lessa let out a laugh, smiling in a way that made his heart jump, but Shelly just made a snort of disgust.

"Don't blame me for how she turned out."

"Oh, don't worry, she's nothing like you."

Shelly's eyes narrowed, and Don held up his hand and shook his head.

"No, no, let's not start down that road. We have some serious things to talk about. We can fight over Lessa later." Shelly blushed a bit at that, but she nodded and took a long swig of juice. Don looked over at Lessa, who's own cheeks were slightly red. He wondered if his were doing the same, and with a smile sat back in his chair.

"What the hell are we going to do."

"You're supposed to be smart and stuff," Shelly said, eyes twinkling, "can't you think of anything?"

"Oh, I've thought of lots of stuff. Much of it involves putting my fingers in my ears and going 'lalalalala' so I don't have to deal with anything." He looked between them, face going serious. "I am NOT good at emotional, relationship stuff."

"Who is."

"True, but we're going to have to be unless we want things to get seriously fucked up." He resisted the obvious joke about instead wanting to be nicely fucked. This wasn't the time nor the place. Besides, someone like him who'd only been with a girl once, and that was only hours ago, shouldn't talk like that too much. It was ... unseemly.

"Look, Don..." Shelly put her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "I love Lessa. I NEED her. She's found you, OK, I ... I can deal with that. Maybe. It's not like I haven't been fucking around ever since we met. But ... it's just for that reason that I don't want her to be on the other side of the ship when I need a friend in the middle of the night." Now Lessa really was blushing, but Shelly's eyes held Don's. "You need to share."

Don looked down at the table, composing his thoughts. It was amazing how well rehearsed words vanished when the moment finally came. He picked up his glass, just to have something for his hands to do.

"It's not like I haven't been alone for years. I doubt one evening with Lessa, even as wonderful as I now know she is, means I can't survive unless she's always near me. Besides," he said, looking over at Lessa, "loving you scares me."

Lessa reached over and took his hand. He looked down as her fingers entwined with his, long, calloused fingers, warm ... comforting ... frightening. He turned his gaze to Shelly.

"See? I ... I honestly don't know how to react to that. It's going to take ... awhile before I can act all sane about these things. As much as the horny boy in me wants her naked in my cabin every night, the realistic somewhat sane boy in me wants to keep her as far away as possible." He looked back over at Lessa. "And ... I know I'm going to have to keep sending you into danger, but the part of me that keeps mourning over Cynthia will want to keep you safe even if it kills us all."

Lessa squeezed his hand.

"I won't let you be weak because of me. Or let you keep me out of danger."

"Easy to say, but..." Don sighed. He freed his hand, and sat up in his chair. "Well, let's deal with what we can to start with."

"And what would that be?" Shelly asked. The jealousy was still there, but she was doing a reasonable job of suppressing it.

"Well first, Lessa, while we won't bother trying to hide that we're a couple, there's no need for you to have to go through the bridge and let everyone know when we're getting together."

"Um, yeah ... I was going to say something..."

"So, you gonna move out of this cushy office?" Shelly asked, looking around. She had never been in here before, and was impressed. Captains knew how to live.

"Nope. But, so long as you're looking around, tell me what the one design flaw in this cabin is. Lessa, you too."

The two girls turned in their chairs and looked around. Nothing seemed amiss. Lessa suddenly seemed to stiffen, Don smiling as her combat experience coming to the fore. She swung around and looked back at Don with an excited expression.

"There's only one exit!"

"Exactly!" Don said, impressed. It had taken him a week to notice that. "If the bridge decompresses or some such, the Captain would be stuck in here with no way to get to the rest of the ship. Not a good design at all, and one no Captain would stand for." He stood up, and walked over to a large book case over two meters tall built into the cabin wall. He turned back to the table. "Come over here you two."

Looking at each other, Lessa and Shelly stood and walked to where he was. Don pointed to a middle shelf.

"Lessa, I want you to pull out on that shelf. Hard."

Gripping with both hands, Lessa yanked ... and the entire bookcase came forward. Surprised, she kept pulling. As the back of the book case came out beyond the front of the wall, there was suddenly resistance on the right hand side. Lessa found herself swinging the case open like a door. She stopped when the end of the bookcase came flush with the wall, stepping around to look at the revealed opening.

There was now a large indentation in the wall, a bit over a third of a meter deep. The back and right sides were solid, but the left side revealed a hidden shaft with a ladder leading downward. It had lit up as the bookcase had swung away. Shelly looked at Don.

"Now THAT is cool. Where does it go?"

"To a cabin nobody has bothered to use yet, probably because nobody wants to sleep right next to the bridge. It's nice, though, more than big enough for you two, and it wouldn't surprise me if Captains usually stashed their snuggle bunnies in it." He looked at Lessa, smiling. "There's no reason I can't do the same."

"Call me that, and I slit your throat."

"Snuggle Bunny!" came a deep voice from the direction of Shelly.

A couple hours later, the entire crew gathered in the main mess hall. Or dining room. They really hadn't come up with a standard name for the place yet. The big room where eating is done. Tables once again were pushed against one wall to make a stage, Don standing in front of the silent assembled kids. He had a smaller table next to him with a mug of fruity beer on it. No way was he doing stuff like this totally sober anymore.

"Well," he said, somberly, "yesterday didn't go quite as planned." There was a disgusted bark of laughter from Sean, seated against the right-hand wall, and Don nodded in agreement as a general rumble went through the crowd. "We got our butts kicked. Now ... it's nobody's fault. Or it's all our faults. Take your pick. We all wanted to do it, we all agreed with the plan, and we all did our best. Sometimes," he said, self mockingly, "you just can't do what's right. Nobody," he looked first at Shelly, sitting next to Lessa near the front, then over at Sean who had in fact had issues with the plan, "is to be singled out or punished for this fiasco. We will mourn our losses ... and go on living. Like we've all been doing since we've been born, it seems like."