Chapter 12

SIX! had been living in the woods for two months. Her kittens were nearly feral. But they were woods smart. She decided it was time for them to become 'people smart.' One by one she hauled them, by the scruff of the neck, from the liberated fox den where she had established herself to the patio dog house. They spent the night in reasonable comfort.

SIX! knew Bill and E'veen were coming home. Pyewacket had smart cats. SIX!'s were smarter. The eight kittens were the product of highly selective breeding. The Wanzor saw to that.

Two months is time enough for kittens to learn how to get in trouble. The eight were playing on the dock under the watchful but sleepy eye of a mom. The hawk, intent on prey, left interesting scars on one ... Scarface learned to swim that day. Kittens have tiny needles on five of six ends ... much to the hawk's chagrin. Kittens aren't scared ... they react.

Scarface reacted.

In the two seconds it took for the hawk to attack and fly out over the lake, there were feathers and blood from hell to breakfast.

Mrs. Feathers couldn't get shed of furball fast enough.

32 feet per second per second is pretty damn fast for a kitten to fall. Cats generally fall on their feet but-not-this-time. The action sorta went like this:

'Falling.'

'Land feet first ... no ... wait ... water isn't like ground.'

'Mom?!'

Instant mother type reaction. 'How did you get in it THIS time?'

'Bird.'

Just about that time the very wounded hawk crashed in the reeds by the lake.

'I'm gonna get wet.'

'Face first, baby.

'Face first?'

SIX! sent a graphic picture of a belly flop.

'Yes ma'am.'

It wasn't an Olympic ten ... it was barely a five but the kitten was up and... (don't even think it, buster.) ... cat paddling towards the dock. That little trip was fraught with adventure.

After the poisoning, when Bill had the lake restocked, he bought largemouth bass ... mostly because the bass jumped out of the water to catch bugs ... and it looked cool. Bill wasn't a fisherman but the bigger the fish the bigger the splash. The largemouth bass is the largest of its family.

Bill had had native water lilies planted along the shallows by the dock. Lily-pads are prime bass habitat. They're also very invasive. Largemouth bass are very aggressive fish and will strike at nearly anything they consider alive. They like small birds, rodents, baby alligators ... and kittens.

This kitten had sharps and literally tore it's way out. Scarface was a little more feral than the other kittens. "Life's lessons are learned by the survivors."

In the morning, when Bill got up to make breakfast, SIX! and her brood of kittens were sitting in a line in front of the patio door. Bill didn't notice ... he was mostly recovering from E'veen's morning wakeup. Paprika Smoked Gypsy bacon, scrambled eggs with chopped red and green bell peppers and onions ... with a little garlic ... and his favorite ... toasted cheese sandwiches without the cheese. (Bread fried in butter.)

E'veen crawled into the kitchen on her hands and knees. She announced, in a stone cold serious voice, "you wore me out ... I shall get even."

"Oh goodie! Right now?"

She grabbed a kitchen stool and struggled to her feet. "Over my dead body, you will touch my ravaged pussy. No. Even comes later." She looked out the patio door, "Bill, you're heartless ... look at these witnesses to my distress."

Bill immediately covered his crotch ... Bill was cooking like he usually did breakfast ... naked. "Erk!"

he said and spun to look. "E'veen! Unfair!" He walked over to the sliding glass door and started to open it ... when he noticed the kittens seemed to be staring at his 'dangle' ... they looked fascinated. Not good ... swaying toys for cats.

"I believe I'll go get dressed. I feel like I'm being hunted."

"I think you're right. I'll finish breakfast." She did ... she ate hers and his. 'He can get a bacon egg and cheese on the way in.'