Chapter 62: Frustration and Denial

October 22, 1985

At work, I yawned my way through the morning. I'd gotten less than four hours of sleep. Even with coffee, I simply can't do this, I thought. At eleven o'clock, I picked up the phone and punched out a number.

"Paul Li speaking," came the voice on the other end.

"Hey Paul," I said. "Want to meet up at the cafeteria? It's Pat."

"You're on, if you give me a half hour or so."

The cafeteria was spacious, although the food was hit or miss. I sat down across from Paul. I let him do most of the talking at first. He told me about his own love life, something he was rarely talkative about.

"So, things are really over with Natalie?" I asked him.

"They've actually been pretty much dead since the summer."

"I knew that. And if you ask me? It's for the best." I grew quiet for a second, and Paul picked up on it.

"You're not saying much, buddy. Something's up, right?"

I nodded in acknowledgment. "There's some shit going down right now. And it's on the verge of becoming serious shit."

I told him the entire Victor saga. Paul's first reaction to it was an obvious one.

"You know, Inez would never cheat on you. I'm sure of that. You guys have one of the most solid relationships I've ever seen."

"We do. But right now, everything seems to have aligned to make things difficult for us. She's studying all the time. I'm working at least twelve hours a day, five days a week. We live far enough apart that it's really hard to get together often, with our schedules. Look at last night. Inez and I somehow managed to spend a few hours together. But I didn't get back to my apartment until the middle of the night, and man, I'm paying the price for that today.

"And now, we have this asshole spending time with my girlfriend, trying to break us up, so he can steal her away. You're right, Inez would never be unfaithful. But if she got frustrated enough with the situation, and got discouraged... " I let that thought hang for a second, and then finished it. " ... well, I don't want to find out what would happen in that event."

"I still say you have nothing to worry about with Inez. And there's an easy solution. Just confront the clown, and tell him to cut the crap."

"Ah, but there's something I haven't told you about him." I explained how tight Victor was with the Andrades, and how highly Raul thought of him.

"Oh damn," said Paul. "That does make it much harder to deal with."

"This guy is one of the slickest manipulators I've ever seen," I elaborated. "He managed to kill an entire weekend for Inez and me simply by adjusting his alleged work schedule. And then there was last night. When I showed up at Inez's place, he was just leaving. He said he'd left work – and I'm convinced he's lying through his teeth about his work schedule – to come over to her place to make some copies. Said he was going to the library, and would be back soon. Let me tell you, it's impossible to enjoy any, um, quality time with your girlfriend when you know a guy who's in pursuit of her is about to come barging through the door at any minute. And you know what? 'At any minute' turned out to be more than three hours. I'm positive he did that on purpose. He was hoping I'd give up in frustration and leave. Well, we waited him out." I grinned slightly, not wanting to elaborate on that any further. Paul smiled by way of understanding.

"But look at me today," I went on. "I'm exhausted. Something has to give here."

"We know someone with a real knack for dealing with situations like this," Paul offered. "Evie. Have you told her about this?"

"Evie would be a big help. She'd sit us down, and talk some sense into Inez and me. But she's away for a four-week training session in Atlanta, which means she's more or less out of touch until she gets back."

"Hmm," uttered Paul, deep in thought. We talked a little more, not really coming to any conclusions. Still, it felt good to bounce these things off of someone.

I somehow made it through the afternoon and early evening without falling asleep at my desk. Shortly after nine, I blew the scene and headed home. I walked though the door, and before anything else, I called Inez. Actually, I called Victor, because she was over at his place studying. Inez and I chatted for a while, said our good nights and I love yous, and I called it a night.

All I could do was count down the days until Saturday.

October 23, 1985

"Hey dude," Dave's voice rang out through the phone, minutes after I'd arrived home from work at about nine-thirty. "Guess what happened tonight? We made dinner plans with Inez, and we stuck it to that asshole she studies with. We made reservations for three at the restaurant. That locked us in to a certain time, and kept him from getting any crazy ideas about joining us."

I decided to savor any positive developments coming out of this increasingly worrisome situation. "Great!" I exclaimed. "Thanks for having my back."

"I always will," he answered.

It was after eleven when I spoke to my sweetie on the phone. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, but there was an added twist.

"We made dinner reservations, which was a great idea," Inez told me. "I really wanted to go out with them, and Victor and I were pretty much done with studying anyhow. But there's more. My uncle called me just a little while ago."

"What did he say?" I was beginning to have misgivings.

"Tio Raul told me he just got off the phone with Victor. Victor complained to him that he didn't appreciate being blown off like that. My uncle sounded a little pissed, sweetie. You know, Victor is a hardworking guy who is trying to better himself. He doesn't have a lot of friends. Since he is my study partner, shouldn't I try to be his friend? He is family, after all."

When I heard those words, I knew I was not listening to my beloved, but to Raul. Inez seemed to have almost a pathological sense of loyalty to her uncle. Under normal conditions, it was quite endearing. This faithful devotion to the important people in her life was one reason why I loved her so dearly. Right now, however, it put her at odds with what was best for us. Problem was, she just couldn't see that this was the case.

"Honey, he's not your family," I observed.

She replied with a sigh. "I know, mi amor ... it's just this is important to Tio Raul, and he's done so much for me. I promise I won't let this become a problem for us."

What could I say? I had my well-founded suspicions about Victor, but maddeningly, there was no proof of the smoking gun variety; just a few ambiguous remarks from him, and my own hunches.

Inez had more to relate. "You know what my uncle also told me? Victor also feels that Dave and Eileen slighted him because of his heritage."

"That's fucking ridiculous," I said without hesitation. Has this clown no shame? I wondered. He actually played the "They're picking on meeee" card.

"It is. I told Tio Raul that Dave and Eileen would never be bigoted like that. My uncle kind of hesitated for a minute, and then told me I was right. Then, he said to me, 'I'm not asking you to do anything, except to be nice to Victor. What's the harm in that?'"

I had to bite my tongue; it was getting harder and harder to do that.

October 24, 1985

The frustration continued to mount. The countdown to Saturday reached two, and then stopped right there.

"You're kidding," I said glumly, early Thursday evening, as Inez handed down the bad news.

"We just got assigned a new project today that's due next week," she informed me, sounding completely devastated. "Which might not be a major problem ... if Victor hadn't canceled our session for tonight. Again, he got called in to work. Now, he wants to work all day and evening on Saturday."

I was speechless. When will this end? I remained silent for several seconds.

"Mi amor? Are you still there?" said Inez, sounding alarmed.

"I'm here," I assured her. "I'm sorry. But I have to tell you ... I'm finding this really hard to take. Can't you put your foot down?"

"I did. I told him I had plans with you. But once again, he made the point that we'll fall hopelessly behind if we don't catch up on Saturday. I have to admit he's right."

I thought about mentioning Sunday, but instead, I decided to push a certain issue once again.

"You don't think he's doing this on purpose? Switching his plans around to keep us from getting together on the weekend?"

There was a brief hesitation on the other end. Inez, speaking in a slow and measured voice, said to me, "Listen, sweetie. I told you before. Victor is not interested in me. And your jealousy is making a hard situation even harder."

I sighed, thinking I had best drop it at that point. I realized that this whole situation was a catch-22. If I acted jealous, it would bring about strain in our relationship, which would be playing right into Victor's hands.

Instead, I had an idea. "I'm still at work now," I told her, "and I don't know when I'll be finished. Tell me this. Victor's not coming over tonight, right?"

"No. He was very clear that he had to work."

"I still have some things left to do tonight. But if I can knock off early enough, how about if I come down for a while?"

"You know I would love that," she replied, her voice brightening considerably. "Not if it's too late though, okay? I don't want you being tired at work tomorrow, like you were a couple of days ago."

But it wasn't to be. I simply found myself with too much to do, and it was almost ten o'clock when I was done. I called Inez, and she agreed with me that it would be best to wait for another night.

We'd been foiled one more time, and tonight, it was on me.

October 26, 1985

I had figured that another lost Saturday was in store. I slept in late, and it was almost noon before I got around to breakfast. Around two in the afternoon, the phone rang.

"Hey," Inez chirped on the other end of the line. "Wanna come down and meet us at my uncle's place? We just got here."

"Let me get ready real quick, and I'm there," I replied, beginning to rummage through the closet for something to wear. "Who's 'we', anyhow?" The question might as well have been rhetorical; I damn well knew the answer.

"Victor and I. He suggested taking a break, because he wanted to come over and talk to Tio Raul about something."

Oh, that's a good one. That schmuck is just full of lies and schemes, isn't he, I thought. But I was happy for a chance to see my girlfriend ... under any conditions.

I arrived at the Andrade residence in record time, taking note that Victor's squeaky-clean black Mustang was parked in the driveway. I parked my well-traveled Datsun along the curb, and rang the doorbell. It was Lisette who answered.

"Hi, Pat," she said to me, directing me inside, while looking decidedly down in the mouth.

"Everything okay, Lisette?" I smiled at her. "You look like you lost your best friend."

"I'm fine," she replied, not very convincingly. I worried briefly if she'd had some kind of problem with my brother, but I deemed that very unlikely. Chalking it up to sixteen-year-old mood swings, I walked toward the kitchen, where I could hear voices communicating in Spanish, my girlfriend's prominent among them.

When I entered the kitchen, I was a bit taken aback at the sight which first greeted my eyes. There was a small rectangular table near one end of the room. Seated on one side of the table were Raul and Rosie; seated on the other were Victor and Inez. Raul was seated directly across from Victor, while Inez was across from Rosie. The four of them were smiling, laughing, and generally having an animated discussion. Any stranger who happened upon them would assume that they were two couples socializing together.

But Inez, upon seeing me, broke that illusion. She sprang up from her seat, threw her arms around me, and gave me a kiss which was quite chaste in the presence of her uncle and aunt. She followed it up by pressing her cheek against mine, and whispering in my ear, "Oh, how I've missed you."

"Pull up a chair, Pat," Victor said to me, pointing at a nearby bar stool. As Inez returned to her seat, I positioned the stool at the head of the table, diagonal to Inez, and seated myself. I considered, for just a moment, politely asking Victor to switch seats with me. I didn't want to cause a scene in front of Raul and Rosie, however. Although it was a bitter pill to swallow, I listened to my better judgment and stayed put. In spite of the fact that Inez grabbed my hand under the table and held it tight with hers, I felt distinctly like a fifth wheel.

If Victor had indeed come here to talk with Raul, that discussion had apparently already taken place. What followed was an experience which defied description. For the next thirty minutes or so, five people sat around a kitchen table, having a conversation that on the surface, was as normal as it gets. But there were subplots galore.

Incredibly, Victor appeared to be rather friendly to me, even trying to engage me in the conversation on occasion. However, at the same time, he kept making attempts to switch the prevailing language over to Spanish. It didn't take me long to figure out his aim. He was trying to highlight my limited grasp of Spanish in front of Inez, Raul, and Rosie. This was a laughable, and even pathetic, ploy. I knew that Inez and Rosie, and perhaps even Raul, didn't give a damn about how much Spanish I knew.

In fact, Rosie repeatedly disrupted this little game of his. Every time the talk transitioned to Spanish, Rosie would whisper to her husband, "English." This was obviously in deference to me, and I had to appreciate that. I was getting the impression that Rosie wasn't too fond of Victor. Interesting!

Finally, Victor proclaimed, "I'd love to continue this little get-together, but Inez and I have to get back to my place. We have a lot of work left to do." He stood up from his chair, as the rest of us did the same. Victor dashed into the next room, and returned with two coats: his and Inez's. At that, I couldn't help myself. I glared at him; a glare which said, "Get your slimy hands off my girlfriend's coat." But I had no recourse beyond that; the presence of the elder Andrades, and the fact that this was their house, mandated that decorum was essential. And Victor was taking full advantage of the situation.

I hunted down my own coat, and then made a move for the living room. Everyone was gathered in the foyer now. My eyes fell upon my girlfriend, who was being helped into her coat by Victor. That sight repulsed me, and I had to look away. I said goodbye to Raul and Rosie, as we moved out onto the front porch.

Inez came up to me, with sad eyes, giving me a sweet kiss that probably went beyond the limits of what her strict uncle would deem appropriate. "I'm glad I got to see you, even for a little while. Call me later, okay? Love you." I told her I loved her, too. Then, it was time for us to part, and I knew a final humiliation was in the offing. I'd have to watch Victor drive off with the woman I loved, spiriting her away to his place, while I faced a long, lonely solo journey up the turnpike, to my empty apartment.

"Later, Pat," sang out a triumphant-sounding Victor. He then motioned Inez over, saying to her, "Vamos, princesa." I knew enough Spanish to realize he'd just told her, "Let's go, princess."

I watched in horror as my girlfriend accompanied that unscrupulous slime ball over toward his car. The windows were heavily tinted, and I knew that once she slipped inside, I'd be unable to see her any more. I wouldn't know whether she waved at me, or blew me a kiss. Victor was kicking my ass here, in every way. My heart was in my throat as Victor dashed around to the passenger side, holding the door open for Inez. She shot an achingly sad look at me, as she started to get in...

No! I thought. You can't let this happen! Stake your claim! Fight for your woman, dammit!

"Angel," I called out to Inez, "why don't you ride with me? I'll take you over to Victor's place. After all, it's a boyfriend's prerogative."

All of a sudden, the dazzling smile I'd missed so much lately reappeared on Inez's face. She moved away from Victor's car, and literally ran over to my side.

"Pat, it's really no trouble," Victor scowled in seething frustration.

"Nor for me, since I'm down here anyway. Besides, Inez and I have some things to talk about." I flashed a toothy grin which reflected every ounce of the disrespect he'd shown me over the past couple of weeks. Putting my arm around Inez, I squeezed her tight. We began to walk toward my car, arm in arm. I opened the door for my sweetie, as she slipped inside my car, giving her a kiss as she got in. Then, I fired up the ignition and pulled away, nearly burning rubber as I sped down the road.

"You don't do anything the easy way, do you?" Inez laughed. "But I have to tell you, that was amazing."

"I want to spend every second I can with you," I told her honestly. "And on top of that, I couldn't watch him drive off with you like that. I couldn't."

"Aw, sweetie. The jealousy thing again. I agree that he was rude to you today, and you better believe I plan to speak with him about it later. But he really admires Tio Raul, and he was showing off. It's obnoxious and annoying, and it bothers me, too. Remember what I said about the macho thing? You saw it in full force today."

She was still in denial. But I was thrilled to have her beside me, after all, and didn't want anything to sully the mood. There was one thing I had to address, though.

"You have no idea how hard it was to watch him help you on with your coat like that."

"I hated that. Talk about obnoxious. If Tio Raul and Tia Rosie hadn't been there, I wouldn't have allowed him to do that. But with them watching, I have to be a good little girl. You understand, don't you?" Her soft eyes held an imploring look.

"I do," I replied right away. "I was in the same boat. I wanted to say something when he showed up with your coat, but I had to bite my tongue out of respect for your aunt and uncle."

Suddenly, Inez smiled over at me. "What you just did right there – saving me from having to ride in his car, which reeks of cigarette smoke, and allowing us to spend some more time together – was more gallant than anything Victor has ever done in his entire life."

We were stopped at a red light, and I put my hand on top of hers. "That was exactly the right thing to say." And it was. I leaned over and gave her a kiss.

"So what do we do now?" she said with a sweet smile.

"I can think of a few things," I grinned.

"Mind in the gutter, as usual. If it was nighttime, I'd say 'You're on, let's go parking somewhere.' But it's daytime, and if we do what we really want to do, we'll get arrested. And I have a simpler pleasure in mind."

"What's that?"

"Pizza. Let's go have some pizza," she suggested.

"I'm up for it. But won't Victor get pissed if you take too long?"

"The hell with Victor."

"I agree. The hell with Victor."

We stopped at a pizza place on the way, and took our own sweet time. Eventually, it was time to get back in the car, as the atmosphere became somber once again.

"This is the hard part," sighed Inez.

"Harder than you can imagine," I concurred.

As I pulled up in front of Victor's place, wouldn't you know it, he was out on the sidewalk pacing nervously. He glared at us both as we got out of the car.

"We stopped off for some pizza on the way," Inez explained, her lovely face turned up into a frown. "Pat and I don't get to spend much time together, Victor, and you need to understand that."

"Look, I know you lovebirds wanted to share a quick bite," shot back Victor, "but we really need to get a lot accomplished today for next week. Pat, I'd appreciate it if you let Inez concentrate on her studies. Nothing personal, but this is my grade too. You need to understand that."

He let that sink in for a moment, and then lowered the boom. He spoke directly to Inez.

"I just found out that I need to work on Monday, which means that we'll need to work on our project tomorrow if we want to get it in on time. And after the time that's gotten away from us today, I imagine it will be a long session."

"What the – " I blurted out. Inez held up her hand, gently instructing me to back off.

"If you're so worried about time, Victor," she told him curtly, "then why didn't you just pick up the phone and call Tio Raul, instead of driving all the way over there? And you're giving us shit about taking fifteen minutes to eat together?"

"Because these kinds of things are not talked about over the phone," answered Victor.

Inez rolled her eyes in response. She pressed her mouth against my ear and whispered, "More mysterious macho bullshit." Then, she spoke directly to Victor, who was looking on curiously. "Don't mind me. A girl has a right to whisper in her boyfriend's ear, doesn't she?"

Surprisingly, Victor remained even-tempered. "We do need to get back to work, Inez. Let's go inside."

My girlfriend whispered once again into my ear, "Don't write tomorrow off just yet. I'll see what I can do. I'll call you later." I kissed her, and watched her follow Victor into his apartment. It was unbelievable. I'd made a major point back at the Andrade house, and secured a little extra time with Inez. That was all well and good. But in the end, I still had to watch Victor claim my girlfriend for the rest of the day, and tomorrow was now very much in doubt.

I'd won one small battle. As for the war itself? In my mind, it was still very much in question.

Later that evening, I tuned in to the World Series on TV. I kept thinking, over and over, how much more I would have enjoyed it if Inez was there with me. Of course, I'd seen this game before – Game Six of the matchup between St. Louis and Kansas City. The Royals would win this game, 2-1, benefiting from one of the worst calls by an umpire in the entire history of the game. I recalled from my other life that in the year 2007, Cardinal fans were still talking about that blown call, and how it had robbed them of a world championship.

A few minutes before the final out was recorded, the phone rang.

"I'm using Victor's phone," Inez's voice came through the receiver. "He just stepped out for a minute."

"How'd it go tonight?"

She got right to the point. "I confronted Victor about his attitude towards you this afternoon. I told him to please knock it off. We ended up having a little discussion. One thing that came out of it was that he can't understand why you're so openly hostile toward him. I told him that you want to spend time with me, as I do with you, and you're frustrated by his never-ending switches in our study schedule. He told me that he could understand your point of view, but wants you to realize that he – and I – have academic responsibilities to meet."

I nearly cut in at that point, but held my tongue.

"Now, sweetie, I know you don't like him," she continued. "You have every reason to dislike him. He can be a real asshole when he wants to be, and the two of you couldn't be more different. I don't like him much, either. I especially don't like this situation. But we have to deal with it, so in the name of making the best of things, please don't let a little misplaced jealousy complicate matters here."

Upon hearing the words "misplaced jealousy," I nearly snapped, but somehow managed to hang on to myself. She still doesn't see it! I thought with despair. And look at the way Victor manipulated her since we said goodbye earlier.

I took a few seconds to compose myself, and then took a different tack.

"You know I fully support you, as far as getting your degree. I've said that many times before, but it bears repeating," I told her softly.

"I know you do," she assured me. "But you trust me, don't you?"

"Totally. Completely." I declared. Although I meant what I said, my tone was a little bit over the top. This made it sound defensive, even to me.

She, like me earlier, took a few seconds to reply. "Then you have nothing to worry about. Just think about what I told you, sweetie. And remember, I love you with all my heart."

Thankfully, we got to talking about other things. I finally brought up something else that was weighing on my mind.

"I guess we won't be getting together tomorrow," I said regretfully. She hadn't mentioned that subject specifically, but that fact spoke volumes in and of itself.

"No," she acknowledged, her voice full of disappointment. "We can't. Victor's already talking about putting in a full day and evening tomorrow, although I can't bear the thought. He has to work Monday night, and we are behind, again."

She paused briefly, before throwing out a suggestion that, the more I thought about it, made a lot of sense.

"Instead of staying by yourself in your apartment all day, why don't you get out and do something? Why not drive down and visit your parents? I'm sure that would make them very happy."

"You know," I said, mulling it over, "That's a hell of an idea. If we can't be together, why not? How do you come up with these things?"

"It's simple," she replied. "Even when we aren't together, I'm always thinking about you, and what's best for you. I know that when you're by yourself, your mind tends to run wild. When you're around people, especially people who care about you, you're much better off."

"You know me too well," I said, actually managing a smile. "I'll do it. I'll drive down and drop in on them unexpected. So ... how does this week look? Is there a chance you'll be free during the evening one of these days?"

"Victor told me he's working Monday, and also Friday," she offered, "so either one should work. It depends on you, too."

"Monday's closer, but I might have to work late. Friday works better anyhow, because I can stay over, right?"

"Mmm ... sounds like a plan. And I have two exams the following Tuesday, so it will be a nice relaxing breather before crunch time."

"A breather. I guess that's a nice name for it," I cracked. Both of us started laughing.

"Well, then, let me start counting the days," I added. Actually, a plan was beginning to form in my mind.

Before Inez could respond, the sound of a door closing could be heard in the background. A second or two later, my spirits once again fell as I heard Victor's muffled voice.

"Let's get cracking here. We have a lot to do before calling it a night."

"I have to go, sweetie," came Inez's voice into my ear. "Let's shoot for Friday, then."

After we said good night and hung up, I sat there, just staring into space for a while. I tried to take solace in the fact that Inez had displayed a decidedly negative attitude toward Victor all day. She'd even declared that she didn't like him. Maybe she did see through him, if only partially.

Then, I thought of the love-hate-indifference thing that Inez and I had talked about on more than one occasion, and any insecurities that had been banished came right back to torment me. Later, I slept fitfully, my mind more troubled than at any point up till now in this whole ridiculous chain of events.

October 27, 1985

First thing in the morning, I discovered that I'd misplaced my work ID. After a few moments of panic, realizing I wouldn't be able to enter the building tomorrow without it, I calmed down and decided to think about re-tracing my tracks. I called the Andrades, and Rosie answered. I breathed a sigh of relief as Rosie indicated she'd found the ID on the floor, and was planning to call me in a little while. Apparently, it had fallen out of my coat pocket yesterday when I'd put on the coat. I'd been so distracted at that point, I hadn't noticed it.

"I'm going down to visit my parents later," I told Rosie, "and I'll drop by your place to pick it up."

Just in case, I called Inez and asked if she'd be up for another quick meeting at her uncle's place. "I'm real tempted," she told me. "But it would only be for a few minutes, since I have to study, and you need to visit your mom and dad. Remember, though, the phone line is always open." Oh well. It had been a long shot, anyhow.

At the Andrade house, I was a bit startled when Raul answered the door, something that almost never happened.

"Good morning, Pat," he said to me amiably, handing me my errant ID. "Rosie told me you were stopping by. I do have a few things I'd like to discuss with you." Suddenly, I was on pins and needles.

"Thanks for holding onto this," I told him, stashing the ID in my wallet. He motioned me into his home office, closing the door behind me. I was growing more nervous by the second.

"Pat, sit down, son," he directed me as he took a seat behind his desk.