Chapter 8

"Okay," I said, watching as Shelly spread peanut butter on my erection with a butter knife. "This is definitely weird now."

"What?" She grinned at me. "You thought I was gonna put it on the hamburger?"

She licked the knife clean, "I love this stuff!" and dropped it on the bed. I have to admit that having a sexy blonde girl eating Skippy off my cock felt pretty amazing. She didn't suck me so much, but rather pursed her lips around the shaft, pinching the peanut butter off and using her tongue. She'd swallow it down and do it again someplace else, leaving me slick with a thin, greasy glaze of spit and oil.

"I love sucking your cock, Darling," Shelly sighed, giving me her sky blue eyes as she kissed the tip. "I'm sorry I wasn't into it before, but now that I'm a girl..."

"Yeah," I agreed, curling my toes as she closed her soft lips just under the smooth head of my penis.

She swirled her tongue around the glans and teased the eye, actually worming the tip into my pisshole. Shelly looked so beautiful like that and I played with her golden hair, wondering how I'd ever gotten so lucky. She rolled my balls with one hand and jerked me off with the other, wanting to swallow another load of hot semen before we fucked. Apparently that stuff was good for her morning sickness, although my fiancé was nearly completely over that already.

It had been one long day of hell for both of us, but now Shelly and I had about seven months of glorious pregnancy to look forward to. At least, that's how long it normally took for a knocked up Karnasian to deliver her baby, but since it would be half-human, she thought it might be a little longer. Call it eight months of sexual over-drive and motherly glow, although I found that hard to imagine. Shelly's sex drive had been pretty extreme before she'd gotten pregnant, but at least I had a real woman now.

Although I did miss sucking her cock for some strange reason, and most especially fucking her gorgeous prick with my horny boy pussy. I wouldn't have believed it possible, but ... there it was. I almost wished she wasn't pregnant at all, because the need to swallow her cum, or better yet, feeling it spurt into my well-fucked rectum, hadn't gone away with her cock and balls. I felt like a crack whore locked in the Vatican, but Shelly assured me that after the baby was born, her body would quickly change back to normal. The only real difference would be that her breasts would be full of milk and it sounds strange, but I was looking forward to seeing my alien shemale wife nurse our baby while I nursed on her fat cock.

That thought brought me off quickly!

"I'm gonna cum," I breathed, but Shelly already knew that.

The sexy minx shoved her middle finger up my ass, wriggling it around in search of my sensitive prostate. She didn't slow down, but only squeezed my erection gently as she pumped the shaft, urging me to fill her tummy with creamy boy joy. That's exactly what I did, too. I pulled her head down, helpless to resist that primal urge, but I wasn't terribly large anyway and Shelly didn't mind. Her lips were wrapped lovingly around the base of my cock and her tongue slipped outward to tease my balls while they filled her belly with sperm.

I loved the way she did that! Bigger isn't always better, I'd learned, and Shelly thought my cock was the perfect size. Not too big and not too small, but a perfect fit for her sucking mouth. She actually made me feel pretty good about myself and I loved her for it, believe me. Well, I loved her for a lot of other reasons as well, not least of which was her newfound eagerness to make love. Like a girl, I mean, although I didn't mind being her pussy bottom bitch either. Like I said, I kind of missed that a lot.

"Fuck me, Bobby," she moaned, rubbing her thighs and wiggling her ass invitingly. "Put your cock in my ass. Oh! Yeah! Fuck! Me! Baby!"

She did seem to be a lot noisier now that she was knocked up. I winced, glancing over my shoulder at the closed bedroom door. My mom was in the living room watching General Hospital and eating a tuna sandwich for lunch. It turns out that Mr. Tibbs didn't really need to eat at all, but had only done it for my benefit. At least I didn't have to change his kitty litter anymore. Computers, even the ones who look like cats, don't need to use the bathroom either.

"Jesus," I sighed, driving every inch of my cock into Shelly's tight, hot asshole.

There wasn't any friction at all, except for the good kind. She felt soft as silk and all kinds of buttery inside. I mean, her rectum actually felt moist, you know? Almost wet, you could say, and I wondered if she'd used some sort of lube or something. Whatever the reason, I held her hips and fucked her just as hard and fast as I could, mostly because that's the way my girlfriend wanted it. Personally, I would have loved to take it nice and slow, savoring every delicious inch of her shemale cunt for as long as I could.

"Faster! Oh! No! Uh-huh! Fuck my ass! Oh! You fucker! Fucking fuck me!"

"Shelly!" I gasped. "My mom, remember?"

"Fuck her too! I'm gonna cum!" she screamed. "I love fucking your cock!"

Cum? I found that difficult to believe, considering Shelly didn't have any balls and her penis was about the size of my thumb. It wasn't hard at all, but she was drooling a lot of clear fluid, alien precum, I guess. Seminal fluid comes from someplace else anyway, right? I thought so, but I'd spent most of my high school biology class wondering about Marilee Johnson's biology, not my own.

Wouldn't she be in for a surprise this Saturday! Her and that asshole Mike, my ex-best friend. They lived in Brooklyn and when the aliens showed up, oh yeah! Payback's a bitch, ain't it? Except I didn't really want to see anyone blown up, not even those two jerks. I wondered if I shouldn't give Mike a call.

"What are you doing?" Shelly kicked at me, like a mule since she was on her hands and knees. "Don't stop, Bobby! I'm so close!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, pushing Marilee out of my head. Or trying to anyway.

I'd sort of been thinking about how great it would have been to fuck her sexy ass. My ex-girlfriend had been surprisingly hot, but a total bitch. Pushing her over the hood of her daddy's car, making the pregnant slut lick the Mercedes hood ornament while I ripped her panties down? That would have been fun. Fucking Marilee in the butt, dry and tight and clamped around my cock beneath that pretty blue dress she'd worn to the prom. She was going to make me cum. My ex-girlfriend filled my head while I stuffed my stiff cock balls deep in Shelly's awesome ass.

Needless to say, my fiancé's orgasm took me by surprise.

"Oh!" she squeaked, only that one high-pitched word, and then her rectum started sucking on my cock like a baby on a bottle.

"Oh! Fuck!" I agreed, trying to pull back with my hips, but that hurt!

Shelly's anus wasn't the soft, rubbery ring of flesh I remembered from kissing it. Her asshole felt like a ring of steel around the base of my shaft, holding me firmly entrenched in her rectum. The soft muscles inside seemed to ripple, actually pulling against my cock like a fist, and I couldn't take much more than a few seconds of that before my balls jumped into my gut with the most intense orgasm of my life.

The only problem was that all that cum had nowhere to go! My cock was cinched tight, as if Shelly had tied a tourniquet around the shaft. My pent-up ejaculate burned deep in my groin and just about the time I was ready to scream, her asshole suddenly relaxed and my cum exploded into her butt. That hurt too, but in a strangely pleasurable way that I didn't totally understand. How could something hurt so much that it felt good? Or was it the other way around ... I couldn't decide.

"We're not doing that again for awhile," I breathed, falling off Shelly's back and panting for air.

"Did I do it too hard?" she asked, looking pink-faced and a little out of breath herself.

"Do what?" I blinked at her. "You were cumming."

"Yeah, but..." She shrugged. "I probably squeezed you too hard. Sorry."

My alien fiancé had butt orgasms?

"Of course we do, silly!" She giggled happily. "Karnasians are very orgasmic. If we weren't, why would we ever want to do it?"

"I don't know." I smiled back at her.

"That's why I love you so much," she sighed, snuggling closer.

I didn't understand at all and it took about half an hour before Shelly could convince me to fuck her again. As I quickly discovered, my girlfriend could control her butt muscles as easily as I could control my fist. She could squeeze and release my cock at will, hard or soft, fast or slow, and our second fuck was definitely better than the first. After we both came, painlessly, I might add, I was hooked and I felt very impatient waiting for my cock to harden a third time.

"I think we should get some Viagra before we leave," Shelly suggested. spreading peanut butter on her nipples for me.

"Good idea," I agreed. "We should probably make a list."

"Put Skippy on it," she said. "I love this stuff."

"Umm-hmmph!" I nodded my head, since my mouth was full of nipple just then.

We did make a list and with only three shopping days until the anti-Christmas, there was no point in worrying over something as trivial as money.

"I really hope you're not crazy," I said, watching as Shelly tried on a pair of emerald earrings.

"They're lovely," the Tiffany's salesman decided. "Would you like to see the matching bracelet?"

"Uh ... How much are those again?" I asked, getting a roll of Shelly's eyes and a confused look from the man. He'd probably never heard the question before in his life.

"Robert!" Mom clucked her tongue. "That's not very polite. Can I see that cocktail ring ... No, the big one. Oh my! Seven carats, you say?"

She had a saleslady helping her and Mom, like every other woman on Earth, loved diamonds.

"No, don't get that," Shelly told her. "It's not worth it."

"Excuse me?" The saleslady looked shocked.

"Now you're worried about money?" I stared at my fiancé.

"Diamonds are the most common rocks in the galaxy," Shelly explained, and I guess she'd know what she was talking about. "Rings like that come in cereal boxes. Rubies, emeralds, and sapphires ... That's what you want, Mom."

"Really? Oh! You called me mom!" my mother gushed, and then they had to hug. Weren't wives and mother-in-laws supposed to hate each other?

"I can assure you that diamonds are an exceptionally sound investment," the Tiffany's woman said, rather snootily, I thought.

"Right!" Shelly giggled, letting Mom go so she could try on the emerald bracelet. "Now this is pretty, isn't it?"

"It's pretty, uh ... nice," I agreed, trying to calculate how much an emerald tennis bracelet might cost. I mean, a real one, like Ivana Trump might wear to a divorce settlement.

"You know what they say," Shelly teased me. "A girl's best friend is a raging Ryzak, but emeralds will do in a pinch!"

"What's a raging Ryzak?" I wondered.

"Sir?" The salesman patted a leather folder, inviting me to faint when I saw the bill. Theoretically, my American Express platinum had no credit limit, but we were putting that to the test! If it failed, well ... I had Discover, Visa, and Mastercard, too. Hell, with the impending apocalypse coming on Saturday, I thought I might just have to bounce a check. I'd never done that before.

"You should get something, too, Robert," Mom suggested, generously, since I was paying. "A nice Rolex watch or something."

"Don't get a watch," Shelly said. "It'll only confuse you."

"It will?" I frowned as the salesman chuckled, doubtlessly thinking my girlfriend was trying to insult me. I knew better.

"The days are only 19 hours long on Karnas Prime," she explained. "And 27 hours long on Delphi."

"Where?" Mom asked, holding a ladies Rolex and looking quite enamored with it.

"That's where the Emperor lives," she said, offering the salesman a smile. "He's very old."

"As you say, madam." The man cleared his throat.

"That's why the galactic day has 27 hours and everyone uses Imperial time," she continued. "In space, I mean. Not at home because that would be stupid."

"No watches," I said. "Just the earrings, bracelet, and..."

"My ruby ring," Mom said, smiling at Shelly. "We really need a new wardrobe. Where's Sak's from here?"

Being an accountant, and a very good one ... I'd graduated third in my class at the Princeton School of Business, after all ... spending money wasn't my favorite thing in the world. I much preferred saving it. Like kinetic energy, money is potential, and until it hits the brick wall of desire, it exists only as a factor of influence in the calculations of statistical probability. I had a head for numbers, a real genius for economics, which was why I'd been recruited so eagerly by the company I worked for. It's the reason they paid me so well, because I understood the delicate relationship between theory and application. When is a dollar worth more than a dollar and why? And more importantly, what should we do with that notional excess? These were questions I could answer and...

"What are you mumbling about?" Mom wondered, sipping champagne as the nice people at Sak's Fifth Avenue put on a fashion show for her and Shelly.

"Nothing," I sighed, finding no room in my calculations for the complete destruction of the New York Stock Exchange. That was gonna hurt.

"It's so ... retro!" My girlfriend giggled, shaking her head at a dress that probably cost as much as my mother's Volvo.

"What do you mean?" she wondered, and Shelly began talking about clothing that changed color according to the wearer's desire. Clothes that could change size, instantly tailored to the individual. Clothing that induced a biochemical reaction in the opposite sex. What?

"Of course," she said with a shrug, "rape wear isn't legal everywhere, but where I come from, it's traditional to wear it when we reach puberty."

"Rape wear?" I almost smiled

"That's kind of a bad translation maybe," Shelly said. "We call it kuillan kai, which is like saying, um ... clothing that will get you mercilessly fucked while your parents hold you down and laugh."

"Oh." Mom blinked at her and decided, "I'm kind of old fashioned, I guess."

Obviously, we had a lot to learn about my fiancé and her planet, not to mention that whole Empire thing. On Earth, where I come from, empires are kind of bad. I mean, the British Empire was sort of okay, but as a general rule, Americans aren't real hip on global domination by one guy with a stick up his ass. We much prefer a whole bunch of little countries buying into fast food, Hollywood, and the War on Terror. I mean, it makes the world safe for democracy!

"Whoops!" I stopped walking and Shelly followed my gaze.

"What is it?" she asked. "Auto-Exotica? Is that an adult bookstore? I want to pick up some videos before we leave."

Mom had to take a cab because an hour later my girlfriend and I were cruising mid-town Manhattan in a 2010 Bugatti Veryon. I couldn't afford to buy it, of course, not with a seven digit price tag and a 15 month wait while they custom built a new one for me, but I could rent a used one. I just had to hand over my American Express and sign on the dotted line. Little did they know ... I wasn't ever bringing it back!

"It might be kind of hard to take this with us," Shelly said with a giggle, but she liked it, too.

I could tell when she started sucking my cock. Even sitting still in a traffic jam, that car was a sex magnet, and you never saw so many jealous stock brokers in your life. Between the Bugatti and Shelly's beautiful blonde head bobbing up and down in my lap ... Ahhh ... What a life! I was going to miss this place.

"You're so good to me," my fiancé purred, curled up in my arms as we admired her bracelet. "My siblings are going to be so jealous!"

"Siblings?" I asked. "Like brothers and sisters?"

"Well, we don't really think in sexual terms," she reminded me. "But I suppose you could call Karnasians partly male until they get pregnant, and then they're completely female."

"So, you mean to say that everyone on your planet is like you?"

"Uh-huh!" She giggled. "Why? What did you think they were like?"

"An entire planet of shemales?"

"I guess so," she replied. "Except, that's an Earth word. We're just ... people."

"And they all look like you?" I smiled at her. "I mean, they're all beautiful?"

"Of course not." Shelly frowned. "And I know I'm not beautiful. I'm pretty average, to be honest. Most of my friends are way better looking than me."

"I don't believe that," I told her truthfully, finding it difficult to imagine such a thing. My girlfriend was seriously awesome in the looks department.

"It's true," she sighed. "I'm kind of a plain Jane back on Karnas Prime. I hope you won't be disappointed or embarrassed, or anything. Some of my siblings like to tease me about it."

"Why?"

"I never had a real sexfriend until I came here," she said, and then saw the confusion on my face. "We don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, remember? We all have dicks and tits."

"So ... I'm your sexfriend?" I couldn't help but chuckle.

"Of course!" she agreed. "Except you'll be my boyfriend, too! That's so awesome. I really miss fucking your boy pussy."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I miss fucking your cock, Shelly."

"Get a room, you two," Mom said, shaking her head as I slipped my tongue inside my sexfriend's sweet mouth. I kinda liked that word.

And I did feel self-conscious, believe me, but where Shelly came from it wasn't unusual for sexfriends to have a little fun in front of their parents. In fact, it was perfectly normal and even encouraged. How else could Mom and Dad teach their children that sex was a friendly, enjoyable, and responsible social activity that every Karnasian was expected to participate in? Of course, they didn't call their parents mom and dad, but used words that roughly translated into "elder" and everyone older than Shelly was called that. Everyone about her age was a sibling, and younger generations were offspring, regardless of their family tree.

"So you're basically communists," I decided. "I guess that makes sense."

"It does?" She narrowed her eyes. "Sometimes I can't tell when you're teasing me."

"Nymphomaniac communists," I said, definitely teasing her that time. "Everyone has sex? All the time?"

"No! Of course not," she said. "We have jobs, you know. People work and go to school. We have sports and the Super-Mall of Karn is one of the largest in the Empire."

"Bigger than Mall of America?"

"It's about the size of, oh ... Mars," she said. "But it's actually a moon of a planet kind of like Jupiter."

"They turned a moon into a shopping mall?"

"Sure." Shelly shrugged, as if that sounded perfectly reasonable. "They put a roof over it and everything. It's nice."

"I bet," I said, wondering if she was teasing me back. A roof on Mars? That would be impossible, I thought, but up until recently I hadn't believed in aliens either.

"We could live there, if you want," she suggested. "A lot of aliens do."

"You mean, aliens like me?" I smiled, suddenly realizing that once we left Earth, I'd be the little green man.

"Yeah!" Shelly laughed. "We're going to have so much fun."

"Will your parents like me?" I wondered. "I mean, your elders?"

"I hope so," she replied. "We're going to be married, remember? That's a big deal where I come from."

"It's supposed to be a big deal here, too." I frowned, thinking of my own parents, and just about everyone else I'd ever heard of being divorced at least once. It would be sort of nice going someplace where they took marriage seriously.

"If you could get pregnant, it would be even better, but..." Shelly shrugged. "You'll make a good female anyway."

"A what?"

"Female?" she repeated, widening her eyes. "That's what marriage means. We've committed to a specific gender, or at least one of us has."

"I'm sorta committed to being a man," I reminded her.

"Only because you're human, Darling," she said. "Once I have our baby, my body will go back to normal and I'll be fucking your boy pussy every night. Remember?"

"Yeah, but..."

"If you were Karnasian, you'd be pregnant and not me," Shelly said with a grin. "I'd keep you pregnant until you reached, uh ... What's the word? Like menopause, sorta, and of course, by that time you couldn't go back to having a penis even if you wanted to!"

"I couldn't?"

"Not if you were Karnasian," she agreed. "But since you're human and can't get pregnant, we'll just have a lot of sex and pretend."

"That sounds good," I said with a nod.

"But someone has to be the female," she continued. "Otherwise we can't get married, and you already know..."

"Uh..."

" ... I like it on top, Bobby. I'm not really into being someone's bottom bitch, but I know you are. See?"

"Right." I swallowed hard. "So I'm going to be your wife?"

"Only in the bedroom," she said. "I told you before, I really want to be the wife."

"But if I'm the girl," I said slowly. "In the bedroom, I mean, then I'm going to be your husband everywhere else?"

"This is too hard to explain," she sighed. "Look, there is no husband and wife, not like you think of it. There's just me and you. We call it sexmates, okay? Like, if I introduced you to a friend, I'd say: 'Meet my sexmate, Bobby.'"

"Sexmates." I grinned. "We go from sexfriends to sexmates, I got it."

"Good." Shelly smiled too. "But when people ask us, you're the female. Okay?"

"They're going to ask?"

"Females are kind of expected to be, uh ... promiscuous."

"What?" I blinked at her.

"Because of the hormones and being pregnant all the time and..." Shelly giggled. "My elders are going to fuck you, probably."

"They are?"

"My siblings, too," she decided, nodding her head. "So, make a good impression and offer yourself to them right away."

"Huh?"

"I know!" She rolled her eyes. "I'm the one who's pregnant, it's so weird, but that was an accident. I'll explain everything to them, don't you worry about that."

"Good," I said. "I think."

"It'll be a little awkward at first," Shelly admitted. "But once everyone knows that you're going to be my female, it'll be fine."

"I wish you'd explain it to me," I told her, only half-joking. I felt sort of dizzy.