Chapter 8: The Beggar's Nap

Sarah Lust wasn't feeling well. Her stomach ached almost constantly now and she had trouble keeping food in. It had worsened two months ago and took a great deal of energy out of her. It also made her look like a ghost.

She saw a doctor and a scan had been made. "Hard to tell" seemed to be the first opinion — and the second opinion was the same. There were infections, maybe the start of an ulcer. She got medicine. It did not help much. New scans introduced the possibility of surgery.

The pain was bad, the waiting worse — and the suspicion of something fatal grew to be unbearable. She often went to the Club just to kill time and find distraction. But by now she wondered if the increased aggravations she felt there didn't contribute to her illness.

She had been a "grande dame" at Bianca's — the most respected of the group that had slowly shaped itself around her. She was different from most in the club-circuit; she cared for people and was genuinely interested, often helping newbies feel welcome.

She loved to just sip a drink and gossip, sometimes even conversing about things that mattered. She went shopping with a few of her friends there; once or twice they went to the theatre. Experience made her picky and her maturity tended to make others picky about her — so it wasn't often that she had affairs or even quickies. Quickies had never been her style anyway. After her first exciting months at Bianca's, she found one-night stands rather shallow and even boring. She loved more profound contacts, but for those she had to like a girl on more levels than just sex.

That was when she met Alicia. It was a memorable day when she saw her walking naked into Bianca's. The girl had blushed deliciously and even her shy voice had been adorable when she stated her name — Alicia. The girl's hands had been on her ass, pulling her shoulders back — her lovely legs slightly apart, her succulent titties out. She just stood there, every inch of her petite body on display, calmly challenging the room to find out how much of her act was genuine innocence.

One thing Sarah knew at once, however — she had to have the thing. At first it was sheer lust of course, but even as soon as the girl climbed into her lap, chatting away, she knew there was much more to her than the promise of a willing body. She was bright, curious and at the same time deliciously insecure — an altogether irresistible mixture. How on earth had the girl found the courage to walk in naked like she did?

And where on earth had she learned how to kiss like that?

Sarah claimed the girl's attention all evening, knowing very well that Alicia would be eaten alive if thrown to the starved she-wolves that visited Bianca's. She poured her charms on the girl like the sweetest icing on a cake. She showed her around, let her meet the others (though never too long) and allowed her a controlled taste of all the ripe fruits that grew at Bianca's. The girl lapped it up with boundless energy.

Sarah was well aware where the main danger lurked. There was this cool, alluring Philippine businesswoman, Gina, who had recently become a member. She smiled a lot and used all the right words, but Sarah knew she was ruthless. A child from a rich, feudal family, Gina had grown up in surroundings where power was as common as it had been absent in Sarah's. Money is a magnet, she knew, and she saw most of her minions flock to their new queen.

Of course she'd lost Alicia, in the end. It stabbed her heart to watch the sweet thing drift away, falling for the other woman with starry-eyed adoration — another butterfly pinned to the victorious chest of a conqueror. Ah, Sarah was bitter by then. The fight for power had left her tired and lonely. Maybe they already were the first signs of her illness.

She chuckled as she remembered the startled face of Gina, when Sarah caught her peeping in on Alicia. The girl had been masturbating in a private room, instructed by one of these wannabe S&M mistresses Sarah had sent her to. Ah well ... one should thank the gods for small blessings. It had been a short-lived victory, of course. It only drove Gina harder to get her prize — and her revenge.

About that time Bianca's had been closed, due to crazy lesbian-bashing vandals who tore down the place and ruined its pretty lounge and cozy rooms. Sarah had seen other places long before that. One of them was the Club where she'd met women who struck her as intelligent, liberal and refreshingly daring.

So when the curtain fell for Bianca's, most of the girls followed her to the Club's Salon. The invasion shook the place and it took quite a while for the present residents to get used to the rather loud and opinionated newcomers. To be honest, the integration never worked out; many of the original Club members left the place. But to be even more honest, apart from Sarah nobody seemed to care. Much later — too late — she admitted that they had been the barbarians sacking Rome.

But now she had to decide — should she leave the Club as well or put up one last fight for her right to the place — and her right to Alicia? She knew she had fallen hard for the girl. Just seeing her made her heart race, sending flames up her chest. She knew that the hole in her soul would stay there for a long, long time if she decided to give up and leave.

Sitting at the Club's terrace, quietly sipping her tea, she considered her possibilities. She knew Gina's strategy was to dazzle the girl with her wealth, her generosity and all the sweet assets that went with it. Sadly, Sarah supposed Alicia might be attracted to them. She lived with a girl in this big old inherited house, but Sarah could almost taste her loneliness. Alicia had her business, but she struggled to keep it afloat — especially since her erotic distractions took up more and more of her time. And then there was this other thing, this deeply rooted, confusing need — this wild despair.

Now, what did Sarah have to offer? Bright conversation? Real interest? Wit? Ah, and the tenderness of true love, she mused. Shouldn't the real thing outshine the glaring tinsel of what the other woman had to give? She chuckled ironically. How naïve she was. Sarah Lust, self-appointed woman of the world, trusting such romantic notions as true love conquering all.

On the other hand, would the girl even be worth the effort if she'd fall so easily for money, glamour and an opportunity to see the world? "Worth the effort" — wasn't that an alien thought when you were struck with real love? True lovers had no choice; there was no evaluation needed, only blind necessity. If what Sarah felt was truly unselfish love for the girl, shouldn't she want her to be happy with whatever choice she made? Wouldn't it just be selfish arrogance to decide what should be good for Alicia?

But Sarah Lust shook her head, feeling her eyes burn with unshed tears. It just hurt too much to be that selfless. It was too painful knowing someone else might be loved, licked and kissed by this sweet, exotic nymph that had so easily bewitched her heart.

Being deep in thought, Sarah at first missed the noises at the entrance to the terrace. It was Gina. She was in her business suit, straight from the office no doubt — or a long lunch. The tailored jacket and skirt made her look sleek and efficient. Of course her entourage surrounded her, excited as always. Aura, she saw, and BB, mirroring Gina in an embarrassing effort to look just as successful. Tyana was there too. The Israeli girl was something of a mystery to Sarah, as she seemed too intelligent to hang out with the group. But ah, who is judging? Look at yourself — still here. She guessed Tyana must really feel for Carrie, the Brit girl, to keep hanging around.

The group lighted down at a table next to Sarah — like a flock of twittering birds. Some of them nodded a greeting; others couldn't even bother anymore. It did not escape her attention that Gina's gaze was fixated on her right from the moment she entered.

"Hello Sarah," she said, and suddenly most eyes were turning in her direction.

"Hello Gina," she answered, forcing her voice to be gentle. "I hope all is fine?" Gina smiled in response.

"But of course, Sarah," she said. "Things are always fine with me. How could they not?" The group around her went silent at the implicit challenge. They seemed to expect something.

"On the other hand," Gina went on, her smile permanently in place. "How are you? I hear you are not ... well?" Sarah flashed a smile in answer.

"Please, let me not make you feel worried, Gina," she said. "There is no reason. No reason at all."

Right then another person walked onto the terrace. It was Alicia, sweetly tanned. Her hair was up to leave her neck free. She wore a short yellow sundress that flashed on and off like a flickering lamp as she crossed the sun-and-shadow pattern cast by the lowered marquises. Her flip-flops resounded in the sudden quietness.

"Ah, Alicia, sweetie," Gina said, patting the empty chair right beside her. "Sit down with me. I have the impression we may have to talk about you, Sarah Lust and I." The girl's dark eyes flew from Gina to Sarah, her eyebrows raised in wonder. She looked freshly showered, her hair still damp and shining.