Chapter 2

"Ummph..." I groaned into Lauren's mouth, around our dancing tongues as we made out on the floor of the den.

We'd made a slumber bed out of comforters and pillows, made a big bowl of popcorn, and put a movie in the DVD player. That was all window dressing though, and excuse to lay side-by-side in the dark, whispering harmless secrets while we waited for the inevitable.

"You can touch me," I breathed, pulling her hand to my breasts. "I want you to."

"Alright," Lauren whispered, covering my open mouth with hers and squeezing my left boob through my top and bra.

It wasn't long before her hand slipped underneath and I didn't stop her. I suckled Lauren's tongue, melting as she rubbed my tummy, inching her fingers higher. She played with my tits, massaging me through the soft cups and finally tugging the right one down so that my full breast spilled free. I'd refused to let Brad touch me that way, but I surrendered completely to Lauren.

"Take off my blouse," I suggested, pink-faced and smiling.

I'd rolled onto my back and Lauren lay on her side, teasing one puffy nipple and then the other as she'd tugged the other cup down as well. I wanted her to look at my breasts and I wanted to see what she was doing. It felt wonderful, the hot throbbing of my excited nipples and the deeper ache of my tits straining for complete freedom. My bra was decidedly uncomfortable and I wanted Lauren to remove it for me.

"You're beautiful," she whispered a moment later, holding my breasts as if weighing them in her hands.

"Yeah," I moaned. "Kiss my tits. Lick my nipples for me. Uh-huh ... Like that!"

I cradled Lauren to my breasts, hugging her as she kissed my body. My skin was so white that you could see tiny blue veins beneath it. My nipples were dark like my hair, chestnut brown and not terribly long despite my arousal. I had short, plump nubs that Lauren pulled between her lips, nursing greedily as I arched my back. I'd never felt anyone's mouth on my tits and I couldn't get enough of it. I buried my face in her luxurious hair, filling my senses with the girl while I fumbled with the buttons running down her spine.

I'd known her for all of a day, maybe a day and a half, and we were going to go all the way. I'd decided and I wasn't going to let the tiny doubts gnawing at my tummy change my mind. I'd always wanted sex, but only with someone I loved. I could have loved Marcia or Lisa, in fact I did love them in a way, but it hadn't happened and I'd missed the opportunity several years before. I'd never wanted to have sex with Brad, not matter how hard he tried. Now I had Lauren, but maybe only for a week. I might never see her again and I think that's what pushed me harder than anything else.

Too hard?

"Wait," Lauren whispered, sitting up as her sundress fell off her shoulders and down to her waist.

I saw her breasts, so much smaller than mine, but still sexy. They were about the size mine had been back in 8th grade, little more than handfuls, but topped with the most amazing nipples I'd ever seen. They were dark and long, an inch at least, and pointing straight at me. Lauren had surprisingly broad shoulders and I suppose that made her tits look even smaller, the way my petite build made mine look bigger. Except I did have big tits and I longed to feel her nipples caressing mine.

"I have to tell you something first," she said, playing with her bunched up dress as she drew her legs beneath her.

We were both naked from the waist up. I still wore my shorts and Lauren's dress was around her waist. We were warm and sweaty, catching our breath after making out for nearly an hour. I wanted to keep going. With all the fervor of a fresh convert, I wanted to get naked and just do it. The idea of rubbing my naked pussy against her thigh, kissing her tits while she squeezed my butt ... I dunno, that's the image that filled my head and it seemed to be so close. I'd even made up my mind to kiss her pussy. I'd do anything and everything she wanted. We were in love; there was nothing to be afraid of.

"It's okay," I promised, unsnapping my shorts. "I want to do it now."

Lauren licked her lips, watching as I lifted my butt off the comforter. I pushed the zipper down to expose my pink panties and then my shorts, working the white denim off my hips and down my thighs. My heart beat quickly beneath my breasts. They jiggled as I moved, bouncing around like great fleshy melons and I was proud of them. I found satisfaction in the way Lauren stared at me, drinking in my 17-year-old body as I kicked my shorts off my feet.

"Do you like me?" I asked, spreading my legs to show her how wet I'd become. My panties clung to my vulva and I didn't even blush as I reached down to slide a finger along my virgin slit.

"Yes," Lauren whispered. "You're perfect."

"Do you want to take off my panties?" I asked. "Please?"

We were going to fast, but I couldn't slow down. Desire had overcome everything else and my biggest worry wasn't that I was about to consummate a lesbian relationship, but that Lauren would change her mind. I lay there on the floor playing the wanton slut, but what if she didn't like that? What if she rejected me the way I'd rejected Brad so often on our dates? The look on her face, however, the brightness in Lauren's eyes, reassured me. I widened my thighs even further and cupped my sex, squeezing my burning cunt like a lemon. I gasped and my clitoris thrummed beneath my palm. Juice spilled from between my labia and soaked into the cotton.

Only Lauren's hesitation surprised me, but after a moment she did as I asked. The girl knelt between my wide-spread knees and pinched the waistband of my panties. I had to lift my legs as she peeled my underwear off. Cool air washed over my sex as I was bared completely. I brought my feet together, giggling with nervous excitement as I pointed my toes at the ceiling. I grabbed my tits and squeezed, taking deep ragged breaths as I watched Lauren's face.

Her eyes were fixed on my pussy, small and pink and glistening with arousal. I shivered as Lauren pulled my panties over my feet and tossed them aside. Immediately, I widened my legs again, dropping them around her waist and bending my knees. I lay naked, completely exposed and inviting. The swell of my pubis had a thin carpet of dark brown pubic hair, but nothing hid my tiny clitoris and plump labia from her gaze. My slit was little more than a tight crease, but it would yield to the slightest pressure and I longed to know the pleasure of losing my virginity.

"Ummm..." I arched my back at the first touch of Lauren's tongue. She held my thighs, pushing them wide and out of the way as she began to lap at my sensitive flesh. When I had to relax and drink cool air into my burning lungs, she rolled my ass upward and I almost giggled at the odd sensation of her tongue teasing my asshole. I'd never imagined such a thing, but it felt wonderful.

Lauren licked and kissed every part of me. Her tongue would travel from my ass upward, digging a furrow between my oily lips and flicking across my clitoris. I squirmed happily, pinching and pulling at my breasts with confused fingers. When she made me cum for the first time, I buried my fingers in her hair and closed my thighs against her cheeks. I hunched my hips and nearly wept, it felt so good. She didn't stop either. Lauren covered my vulva with her open mouth and swallowed whatever fluids poured out of me. Her tongue wriggled between my labia and she tickled my cherry, thrusting her pink muscle against it as if she might take my virginity that way.

I came several times before she'd had enough. Lauren kissed my pubic hair, nipped at my tummy with her gentle teeth, and replaced my hands with her mouth. She made love to my breasts, biting my nipples and sucking hard at my flesh. They burned and throbbed while I rubbed her shoulders and stretched my arms along her back. I felt her long, stiff nipples against my stomach and I was only dimly aware of Lauren's efforts to remove her dress completely. I wanted to help, but I could only use my feet as I tried to capture the fabric between my toes and pull it down her legs.

It was fun, careless sex, different than what I'd expected, but not enough to frighten me. I felt nothing but comfortable. I felt loved and happy and full of energy. Every orgasm Lauren had give me only heightened my pleasure. Sex, I decided, was heaven and I wondered how much I could take before all those good feelings burst free. I just couldn't take anymore, but somehow I did and at the same time I wanted more. Not even the oily residue of my own cum turned me away. When Lauren brought her lips to mine, pushing her tongue into my mouth for an urgent, searing French kiss, I knew what that sharp, bitter-sweet flavor meant. I was tasting my own climax, the juices she'd pulled from my cunt, and I swallowed eagerly.

"Mmmph?" I opened my eyes, blinking at her as I felt something prodding my sex. Lauren's tits were flattened against mine, her nipples embedded in my firm flesh. Our tummies would meet as she moved, sticking together briefly before pulling apart. She was taller than me, larger and heavier as she covered my body with hers, but soft and feminine at the same time.

I felt it again, like a sausage finger playing around my vulnerable sex. Something blunt and heavy, hot like me as it turned upward to glide along my moist slit. I didn't understand and I turned my head, trying to break our kiss. Lauren shushed me, blowing her humid breath across my face as she shifted her hips and again something pressed against my pussy. I distinctly felt my labia being pushed apart as the smooth tip found the opening it desired. My mind knew what it had to be, but rebelled against the nonsensical truth. It wasn't Lauren's finger, her hands were holding my shoulders as she pinned me to the comforter. It wasn't some sort of strap-on toy or life-like dildo, although I'd only glimpsed such things on the internet by accident.

"What is that?" I asked, wincing as she pushed harder and I felt something tearing. My vagina had no choice but to stretch, the mouth of my innocent pussy widening around her ... Penis?

"You know what it is," she whispered, kissing me again.

"But why?" I gasped. "I don't understand."

"I love you," Lauren said, quickly following her words with her tongue. She filled my mouth even as she thrust sharply into me a third time, simultaneously pulling me against her cock. Her fingers dug into my shoulders and I knew I was helpless. I'm not sure how or why, but I didn't struggle. I welcomed her kiss as easily as my pussy accepted her erection. She'd gotten me so wet inside, so ready to lose my virginity that I felt only a violent thrill as her cock tore through my hymen and into my vagina.

The pain wasn't so bad, little more than pinch really, and nothing like I'd imagined after listening to my friends at school. Some of them had claimed it hurt a lot, like the worst thing in the world, but I felt something closer to pleasure. My pussy contracted against the pressure and those spasms touched me everywhere. My toes curled, literally, and I balled my hands into fists behind Lauren's back. It made no sense, but I couldn't focus on the absurd idea that this woman had penis. I was too busy cumming and unable to do much more than return her frantic kisses while we made love.

I wasn't raped, except in the sense that I hadn't expected Lauren to have a penis. I wanted to have sex with her and that's what we were doing, and maybe that explains my behavior. None of it made sense. I had a thousand questions swirling around in my feverish brain, but in the moment? They didn't matter. I didn't need the answers, I only needed Lauren to bring me to another orgasm. I clung to her like a child, giddy and giggling, panting into her lungs as we shared each rapid breath. My legs went around her waist and I crossed my ankles, pulling against her to lift my ass off the damp comforter and meet her pumping cock.

I'll always remember the first fuck of my life as the best one. How many times I came, I have no way of knowing, but I remember wishing that they would never stop. One after another, multiple orgasms, and Lauren fucked me for only five minutes, no more than ten, but it seemed an eternity when she asked me if she could cum inside me.

"I don't want to pull out," Lauren groaned, bracing herself above me on stiff arms. I squeezed her biceps, gathering my wits as her erection reached for my womb.

"But I might get pregnant," I said, or something like that. Did I really care? Not just then and I'd never done a stupid thing in my life. I'd never taken a risk, I recall thinking that quite clearly and making up my mind to take a chance.

"I'm going to cum," Lauren warned me, still waiting for an answer, or maybe not. I'd never know what she planned because I told her...

"Don't pull out. I want to feel it." I closed my eyes and imagined I was Paula, and in that safe place I found the last, best orgasm of the night.

"Yessss..." she hissed between clenched teeth, driving her cock as deeply into my pussy as possible. Lauren's balls slapped my upturned butt as she began to ejaculate, spurting hot semen against my bruised cervix and into my womb.

I could feel every single pulse, like a faint heart beating deep between my thighs. Her cum mixed with mine to form a soothing balm. I was floating carelessly on a cloud of adrenalin and endorphins, my body rewarding me for ten minutes of desperate physical exertion. Lauren collapsed onto my breasts and tummy, groaning as that shared heartbeat slowed and finally failed altogether. She'd finished cumming, but neither of us moved. We were tired and wired and sharing small kisses while we caught our breath.

If I was supposed to be angry? I wasn't.

"Does my sister know?" I asked, sitting on the floor of my bedroom while I painted Lauren's toenails pink. My favorite color.

"Paula knows," she replied, but she wasn't offering much more than direct answers to my direct questions.

After popping my cherry the night before, we'd sort of been walking on eggshells. I'd woken up feeling complicated, that's the best word for it. If I was angry with her, it's because Lauren hadn't told me right away that she was a transsexual -- the word she used to explain her strange situation. In the back of my mind I wondered if she wasn't just some kind of cross-dressing fag. I felt stupid for not being able to tell she wasn't a real woman. I felt guilty for letting her cum inside me, and worried as well because I obviously wasn't on any sort of birth control. I felt ashamed for letting someone I barely knew fuck me. And a thousand other emotions for a thousand reasons great and small.

What Lauren felt, I had no way of knowing. At least she hadn't greeted me first thing in the morning with a hug and kiss. She seemed to be waiting for me to decide our fate, but I was only seventeen. What did I know about anything? I'd thought I loved her, now I wasn't so sure. I mean, she wasn't even a she! Lauren had a penis and testicles. No wonder her tits were so small. I could even see her Adam's apple when she turned her head just right and I looked closely enough. She had large hands for a girl, those broad shoulders and boyish hips, and big feet as well.

I guess that's what bothered me the most. I should have known she was really a man, but she'd tricked me. Paula had tricked me too and so I felt used. That's not a good thing after giving up your virginity. I felt like crying and I had to concentrate on painting her stupid toes when I just wanted to bury my face in a pillow and scream.

"So, um..." I licked my lips. "How long have you been a transsexual or whatever?"

"Since I was born," Lauren answered, trying to get my attention with a smile. "I started wearing my sister's clothes when I was old enough to do the buttons. I got in a lot of trouble for it, but I wanted to look like a girl."

"You're a boy though," I said. "Right?"

"I like to think I'm a little bit of both," she said, which made no sense to me whatsoever.

"You mean you like being like ... this?" I lifted my eyes, opening looking at her face. "You're not going to get an operation?"

"A sex change?" Lauren shook her head. "No. I'm going to keep everything, but I'll probably get a boob job this summer."

"Why? I asked, since that seemed like the obvious question.

"I don't pretend to understand why I feel this way," she explained. "I like being both. I want to be pretty like a girl, but I want to be able to have sex like a man."

"So you're really a transvestite," I decided with some sarcasm.

"You're mad at me," she sighed. "I'm sorry, Jen. I should have told you first."

"Yeah, but then you couldn't have fucked me," I told her. "Your foot's done."

I pushed myself off the floor and left her sitting there. She must have thought I was being a serious bitch, but I didn't care. I hadn't lied to Lauren, she'd lied to me, by omission if nothing else. As soon as we started getting serious, she should have told me. I wouldn't have let her near me probably, but we'd still be friends. Maybe. It would have changed the situation anyway and that's the important thing.

Of course, being me I couldn't stay mad very long. I'm one of those people who thinks talking solves everything, which is a total myth. Sometimes there's just nothing to talk about, but some part of me refused to believe that. Or maybe I just wanted to believe I was wrong, if that makes any sense. Either way, when Lauren found me a short time later in the den, I didn't run away. She sat down beside me on the sofa where I was eating stale popcorn from the night before and we started talking again.

"Are you just into girls or do you like boys too?" I wondered.

"I'm bi-sexual," she said, but that made me giggle. She raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"You don't even know what sex you are," I said. "Did you feel like a lesbian last night or were you being a guy, or what?"

"I'm just me," she protested, reaching for some popcorn. "What were you feeling?"

"Before or after you broke my cherry?"

"Either way," she sighed, ignoring my sarcasm.

"I thought I was having sex with a girl," I admitted. "The whole time, I mean."

"Me too," Lauren said, grinning.

I didn't want to, but I giggled. It was slowly dawning on me that she wasn't a gender, she was a person. Or if that doesn't work, let's say I began to care less about her body than I did about her personality. It wasn't so much what she said, but how she said it. I found her presence comforting despite all my confused feelings. We'd been friends, if only for a couple days, but I guess I have one of those needy streaks that wouldn't let me just dump someone I cared about. Did I care about Lauren? Of course I did -- I'd given her my virginity. I hadn't been passed out. She hadn't drugged me or hypnotized me, she'd kissed me. She'd asked me if she could cum inside me and I'd said yes. I'd been rational, I refused to believe otherwise, and now I was being mean to her.

And Lauren took it. She wasn't giving up on me, although if I realized it at the time, it was only subconsciously. I was too busy feeling self-righteous to worry about her agenda, but that's what she was doing. Lauren gave me every opportunity to vent my frustration and question her motives. She answered patiently, honestly. She didn't press me for a decision, but waited for me to make up my own mind. That's what love does, right? I mean, in a perfect world when people make their wedding vows and whisper sweet nothings, that's the sort of thing they promise, isn't it? Except she wasn't telling me, she was proving it -- Sometimes talking isn't enough.

It took a couple days, because I'm not a rocket scientist, but I eventually figured it out.

"What's that?" I asked, watching through the open door of the bathroom. We were friends again, but not like before.

"It knocks my testosterone way down," Lauren said. She didn't look up from the syringe she'd pushed into her hip. "I have to inject myself once every couple weeks."

"Does it hurt?"

"A little." She pulled the needle out and turned her head. "But it keeps me pretty, right?"

"What about that other stuff?" I wondered. There were a number of prescription bottles on the counter next to the sink. Some were orange, some were white.

"Estrogen mostly," Lauren said. "They're all female hormones."

"That's a lot of pills."

"It took me a long time to find the right combination," she said. "I don't take all of them everyday. I have a schedule and all that."

"Oh." I nodded. "How about that one?"

"This?" Lauren grinned, picking up the skinniest bottle. "It's viagra."

"Really?" I grinned as well.

"Yep." She showed me the label. "I save it for special occasions."

"Right!" I rolled my eyes and she laughed.

"Seriously," she said. "Low testosterone makes it a little hard to, uh ... be hard. You know?"

"I guess it's not easy, huh?" I teased her with a giggle.

Lauren sat on the closed lid of the toilet in her sweatpants and a plain t-shirt. She did look good and I guess all those pills worked. She looked like a woman and glancing at her crotch, I saw no sign of a penis. I wasn't sure if that disappointed me or not. She didn't notice as she packed up all her medication into what looked like a leather shaving kit. She did it slowly, giving me time to say something and I felt a sense of urgency. Three days after we'd made love left us only three more days together. She had to return to college before the following Monday, so she and Paula were leaving Sunday morning. My parents were coming back Sunday night.

My life was a neatly wrapped package, except I'd wasted a lot of time trying to ruin it.

"How fast does that stuff work?"

"What? The viagra?" Lauren gave me a curious look and I refused to blush. I didn't look away from her ice blue eyes either.

"I'm sorry I've been a bitch," I said, taking a deep breath and gathering my words. I wanted to be extra careful.

"You've been totally reasonable," Lauren countered with a shrug. "It wasn't fair for you and I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize anymore," I told her. "Maybe I had a right to get mad, but not to act like a little kid."

"No, you're not a little kid, Jennifer." She rose to her feet and took a step towards me, then another until she had to look down to see my eyes. "I never thought you were anything but a woman."

"So are you," I'd already decided. "I mean, you've got a ... thing, but it doesn't change who you are. None of it does."

"A thing?" Lauren teased, widening her eyes as a playful smile pulled at the corners of her mouth.

"You know what I mean," I whispered. "A cock."

"And it doesn't bother you anymore?"

"It didn't really bother me before," I admitted. "In fact, I kinda liked it."

"Okay," she said, both of us whispering. "What do you want to do about it?"

Lauren's hands went to my hips and I didn't stop her. I wore a pair of faded jeans with holes in the knees and a halter top. No bra and my tits were right there, firm and perfectly round and making me look like the only girl in school with a boob job. But they were all me, just like Lauren's barely pubescent looking mounds. We were similar and different that way, and in so many others as well. Not truly opposites, but complimentary. Maybe even necessary to each other, although that sounds overly dramatic. That's what being a teenager is though, right?

"I have to know what we're doing," I said, lifting my arms and touching her shoulders.

"Where we're going?" Lauren asked, and I nodded.

"I like you a lot," I said. "Maybe I even love you, but..."

"I feel the same way."

" ... I'm seventeen," I reminded her. "You're going back to Chicago."

Lauren sucked on her lips for several seconds before replying, "I was thinking I might transfer to the University of Minnesota."

"What?" I blinked at her.

"Next September, when the semester starts," she explained. "We could see each other that way and Paula told me you were already thinking about going there."

"I am," I agreed, nodding quickly. "We could go to school together."

"We could even live together," she suggested. "If you wanted to, I mean. We've only known each other a few days. Sorry."

"No!" I said, grinning as a whole new future opened up for me. "We'll have a whole year to think about it. I have to finish high school and by then ... Who knows?"

"You could have a boyfriend by then," Lauren said, making a face.

"So could you," I teased her. "Or maybe we'll be madly in love with each other."

"Maybe." She smiled and her tits were rubbing across the tops of mine. Her hands had slipped around to find my butt, squeezing me gently. My arms had gone around her neck and I desperately wished I was just a few inches taller.

"Do you want to take one of your pills?"

"Do you think I'll need one?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah," I breathed. "But this time you have to pull out, okay?"

"I'll do whatever you want me to," she promised, and by then I just had to kiss her.

Lauren's fingers dug into my small, round butt as she pulled me closer. I felt something against my tummy and it took me a second to realize she had an erection, or at least a serious bulge beneath her loose sweatpants. Our tongues danced and twirled, moving from her mouth into mine. Back and forth as we moved our hips, rubbing ourselves against each other.

Excited blood rushed through my veins and I felt light headed with arousal. Like a dam suddenly bursting, the longing to be with her finally broke free of my doubts and fears. I surrendered to my positive feelings as much as I did to Lauren. I'd grown weary of being suspicious and resentful, and I knew that I'd been acting stupidly.

She picked me up with a soft grunt, not quite effortlessly, but I didn't weigh much more than ninety pounds soaking wet anyway. Lauren had muscles too. Although wasn't a real man, obviously, she was full grown and just as excited as me. I giggled and wrapped my legs around her waist, kissing her hair as she walked us across the hallway and into my bedroom.

When Lauren laid me upon the bed, I didn't let go of her. I pulled my new girlfriend on top of me, wanting to feel her weight against my tits and tummy and especially my juicing sex. I couldn't believe how wet I'd become, but the moisture soaking into my panties was unmistakable. The heat between my thighs became nearly unbearable as we dry humped through our clothing. Making out with her became my reason for living and I would nibble Lauren's lips, suckle her tongue, and along her jaw and neck as we caught our breath. She had a wonderful complexion with skin softer than mine. Her lips were ripe, luscious and naturally colored like coral. I loved her mouth and I couldn't get enough of it.

"I want to kiss your pussy," she whispered, and that's all it took t get our clothes off. We stripped each other, fumbling in our haste and constantly smiling.

Sixty-nine was something I'd heard of, but never thought I'd be doing. Yet there I was, laying side-by-side with Lauren and facing her swollen cock. She didn't hesitate to remind me of her talent for giving pleasure. While I examined her erect penis and smallish testicles in their tight, clean-shaven sack, Lauren began lapping at my pussy. I thought I would cum immediately, at the first touch of her tongue stroking my clitoris, but I didn't. My excitement only grew as butterflies filled my tummy. She kept my legs parted with one hand while the other teased my drooling pussy and tight asshole, pushing me closer to the beautiful abyss yawning before me.

With my attention drawn helplessly to the pleasure between my legs, I could do little more than hold Lauren's cock in my fist. I'd never touched one before, not counting the night I'd given her my virginity, and the weight surprised me. Her cock looked huge to my inexperienced eyes and I couldn't believe I'd taken all of it inside my pussy. I recalled no pain at all, just a pinch and some mild discomfort like a cramp. I was so small, however, and my fingers would barely reach completely around the shaft. I could hold her with both hands, one above the other, and still not cover the pinkish glans already leaking clear precum.

How had I ever taken such a large, beautiful cock? Perhaps it was that initial fascination combined with the maddening pleasure of Lauren's mouth on my cunt that fixed my mind permanently on the size of her penis. When I did cum, rocking my hips and grinding my quivering sex against her stiff tongue, I took Lauren into my mouth. I didn't think about it. My mind was lost in a haze of ecstasy and somehow I found myself nursing on her fat cock, filling my bedroom with wet, muffled whimpering noises. I didn't know what I was doing. I had no plan or strategy, only a wanton desire to fill myself with whichever part of Lauren I could reach.

Doubtless, I sucked her cock like an amateur. I knew nothing about sex beyond what Mother Nature demands from us. I felt the contractions deep in my vagina and could hear Lauren slurping at my juices. I shivered, but not with cold. My lips were stretched taut around the head of her cock and then the shaft as I pushed my head down. Up and down, that's instinctive, I think. Like using my tongue to explore the curious crown and tickle the slender eye at the very tip. I cradled her balls in one hand, rolling her testes gently while I pumped the shaft with the other.