Chapter 6: VBE Employment Opportunities

Congratulations!

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your decision to join Vatican's Best Escorts. We are the largest personal service provider in the world, but that isn't what makes us special. The quality of our employees and their ability to satisfy our valuable customers can be our only measure of success. Since our inception nearly eight years ago VBE has exceeded all expectations but our own. We demand of ourselves a level of commitment far beyond the ordinary.

Extraordinary. That is who and what we are as women, as a business, and most especially as a family. We are the elite and as such it falls upon me to inform you now that most applicants will not find a place within our ranks. We must be rigorous in our selection process, even ruthless. The task before you will not be easy nor always enjoyable. You are competing against yourself, remember that. We have no quotas, no vacancies or positions to fill except those created by your talents. You will not be compared to anyone else, but only to your own potential. If you can prove your worth and demonstrate those qualities that demand a higher purpose, the world will be yours for the taking.

My name is Evie and that's my promise to you. Good luck.

Evie Swan

CEO Vatican's Best Escorts

VBE Application Flow Chart

Minimum Criteria:
All VBE candidates must be female 18-36 years of age, conform to established height-weight standards, pass medical screening, and achieve a minimum score of 80% on the Combined Escort Vocation Aptitude Battery (CEVAB) test. Teen (13-17) and Transgender applicant procedures are provided elsewhere on this website.

Step 1 Contact the nearest VBE Recruitment Office to request a Candidate Package and arrange appointments for screening and testing.

Physical and Psychological screening is conducted through facilities contracted by VBE and the procedures are free to applicants. The CEVAB test is always scheduled for the second Wednesday of each calendar month and requires approximately 10 hours to complete. All medical and CEVAB results are automatically forwarded to VBE and candidates must include all receipts in their submission package.

Step 2 Complete and submit the Candidate Submission Package to the VBE Recruitment Office within 90 days of medical screening. Be sure to include:

(A) Completed VBE Employment Application (Form VBE-870B) and Cover Letter
(B) Notarized copy of your Birth Certificate or Baptismal Record*
© Your Video Resume****
(D) Three 8x10 color photographs (one head shot and two full body nudes, front and back)
(E) Photocopies of the original receipts for medical screening and CEVAB testing.

*In the event a birth certificate or baptismal record is unavailable, candidates must complete and submit form VBE-312 (Personal Reference Affidavit)

****Videos must be 20-30 minutes duration, without special effects, background music, or other distraction. It must have English subtitles. Acceptable formats are AVI, MPEG, and WMV and should be submitted on DVD or (non-returnable) flash drive. Do NOT submit a written resume or transcript.

Step 3 Upon receipt of your application an interview will be scheduled. Candidates will be notified via FedEx of the date/time and location. VBE will provide transportation, food, and lodging to all candidates. Please read the instructions carefully and inventory your Interview Package. In case of scheduling conflict or receipt of an incomplete Interview Package, contact your VBE Recruiting Office for assistance.

Step 4 Attend your VBE Interview. Candidates will receive additional instructions immediately upon the conclusion of a successful interview.

Step 5 Meet your VBE Escort Detailer. Candidates will be informed at that time if a position is available.

Please note that candidates rejected in either Step 4 or Step 5 may be invited to apply at a later date. In 2009 over 85% of all candidates were unsuccessful in their first application for employment.

An equal opportunity employer, Vatican's Best Escorts is committed to equal rights, equal opportunities, and equal protection under the law. VBE accepts applicants without regard to race, creed, religion, age, sex, national origin, height, weight, marital status, physical disability as protected by law, or sexual orientation. VBE's definition of sexual orientation proscribes discrimination based on a person's heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender identity, actual or presumed.

Outfoxed: A True Experience
by Janelle Simpson

"Nmmph ummph mmmph!"

Those are the only words I can manage less than half an hour into my interview with Deborah Martins. I'd planned on being clever and using my fake application to get an inside look at Vatican's Best Escorts. I'd use the Candidate Interview to conduct one of my own and find out what had turned a brilliant, beautiful young woman like Deborah into a prostitute.

I'd graduated from Columbia's School of Journalism and taken a job as a Research Assistant for Newsweek Magazine. I considered myself smart and attractive, definitely ambitious, and around the office there were a lot of questions about VBE and a lot of contradictory answers. Separating truth from rumor is never easy with any large corporation and even less so with the most successful escort provider in the world. Customers rarely step forward to discuss their intimate experiences and the employees are bound by protocol and non-disclosure agreements to reveal only as much as Evelyn Swan wants them to.

Call it the truth, but as any journalist can tell you, the truth is always dirty and as unlikely as it seems, digging up some dirt on VBE wasn't easy. That's what our readers want, however, and so too the Newsweek editors were always demanding something juicy for the next issue. I saw my chance and took it, filling out an application and submitting myself to VBE's screening process. I'd gone undercover, one could say, determined to get inside the company and emerge later to the respect and admiration of my journalist peers.

Vatican's Best Escorts would be my golden ticket to success.

"That's it, bitch!" ... SLAP... "Rock that cock!" ... SLAP..."Show me how you love to fuck!"

Deborah spanked my ass with a sharp stinging sensation that drove me to rock my hips and grind my pussy around the large dildo she wore. The woman had invited me to be bound and gagged, smiling and promising that if I refused she wouldn't hold it against me. I'd already stripped for her. VBE candidates are always interviewed naked the receptionist had informed me. Five minutes later, after exchange little more than polite pleasantries, Deborah had suggested I let her tie my hands behind my back and wear a leather ball gag.

"Only for a few minutes," she'd said with a smile. "I just want to see you look ... helpless."

My instincts had tried to warn me, but I was determined to do anything to please this woman. Deborah Martins was what VBE called an "Interview Specialist" and if I didn't make it past her, I wouldn't have anywhere else to go but home. She looked innocent enough, with her girl-next-door good looks and easy smile. The horn rimmed reading glasses perched on her nose gave the woman an air of intelligence, not danger, and I'd always been a little too confident for my own good anyway.

Now she had me face down on a stained mattress stinking of female sweat and cum. How many young women had Deborah fucked before me, I wondered. Hundreds, I imagined. Thousands. My cunt burned with pleasure beneath her relentless assault. My oily juices were flowing despite my anger and resentment. Nobody had ever used me this way. I felt shame and guilt rising like bile in the back of my throat. My stomach cramped with nervous excitement and my body shook while my lungs labored for air.

The damp sound of Deborah's flesh sticking to mine filled the room. The soft, hollow whump of her pelvis meeting my ass. She fucked me like a dog, on my tits and knees with my arms bound useless behind my back. The woman dominated me completely, driving her thick phallus deep with every thrust of her hips. I jerked and moaned, shivering with multiple orgasms. The smell of my greasy sex filled my head and fueled my lust. I begged her to fuck me harder, faster, and deeper with every muffled groan and whimper. My tear stained eyes were turned upward, watching Deborah's face contort with the ecstasy of her own climax.

She used me for an hour, perhaps longer, until I could only lay on the mattress and sob weakly. I felt empty inside; empty in my life. I'd forgotten Newsweek and my audacious plans, nothing mattered but Deborah and I wanted to please her. I wished to remain and shook my head in protest when she began to loosen the rope digging into my swollen and discolored breasts. The fresh flow of blood made me gasp and orgasm one last time, much to Deborah's amusement.

She stood above me, stroking her girl stained dildo and smiling. I'd been freed, but I didn't move except to spread my thighs invitingly, begging the woman to take me again. The emptiness inside my cunt was devastating and I pushed three fingers inside myself trying to fill it.

"Fuck me," I breathed. "Please ... Fuck me forever!"

But our interview was over and I hadn't gotten the job. Deborah left the room, exiting into her office and I heard the unmistakable sound of the bolt being thrown. I lay there for some time and finally used the emergency exit, the only one available, to climb naked down the fire escape. Three bums had built a cardboard shelter in the alley. They sat there in their ragged clothes, unshaven and stinking of filth and I fell to the asphalt, sprawled helpless and waiting.

While they fucked me one after the other and then again, two and three times each, I made up my mind to apply again. I wasn't a journalist, not anymore.

(Janelle Simpson is a graduate of the Columbia School of Journalism and a brand new escort working in the VBE Public Relations Department. She's available for incall or outcall to men and couples in the Greater Chicago Area daily from 4pm and weekends. Please see Janelle's ad in this Sunday's Chicago Tribune or visit the VBE Midwest website for contact information and pricing.)

Attention Transgender Applicants!

While it's true that Vatican's Best Escorts has a large number of transgender positions available, only those candidates which conform to a very specific genetic profile will be considered for employment.

The transgender application process differs significantly from the normal, female process. Your medical screening will include a DNA test to determine eligibility. Suitable candidates will receive a TGC Package via FedEx Courier. You will be required to sign a Release and Consent Form TG-101B at that time. Your TGC Package will contain a travel voucher to Sao Paulo, Brazil. Please ensure that you have a valid passport. No visa is required through private agreement between VBE and the Brazilian government.

You may anticipate a 12-18 month residency at the Gender Research Facility (GRF) during which you will undergo significant physical and psychological transformation. It's important that you understand this process is IRREVERSIBLE once started. By signing Form TG-101B you remove all liability from VBE and GRF and its employees; waive all legal rights, obligations, and responsibilities; and expressly agree to any and all procedures as deemed necessary by GRF in fulfillment of its lawful contract with VBE.

You will undergo extensive physiological and behavioral modification consistent with the gender defined as "Shemale: A person possessing the physical traits and characteristics of a human female, but retaining a fully functional male reproductive system." Applicants who desire traditional sexual reassignment surgery (SRS) are discouraged and should seek alternative programs better suited to their needs.

For additional information you may contact me through your local VBE office or directly through the VBE Human Resources website. I wish you good luck and Godspeed on your life's journey.

Camille St. James

TG Escort Detailer

Make Love, Not War
But if you insist...

In past years Vatican's Best Escorts has relied upon third party security firms and local government agencies for the physical protection of its employees and property. The results have not always been satisfactory in the face of terrorism, political unrest, and economic instability. The bombing of the Marriott Hospice in Jakarta is only the most publicized attack on VBE and there have been over a hundred violent crimes perpetrated against escorts and clients on or near corporate property.

In response, VBE has formed its own private security force. Equipped by parent company Severe Heavy Industries and trained at the US Army's National Training Center, VBE Special Forces are preparing to meet the security challenges of the 21st century head-on.

"Most of the troops have 2-5 years military experience," reports Colonel Pauline Quire, the VBE Special Forces commander. "Some of them a great deal more than that. A lot of women who love the military life are dissatisfied with the experience of serving in a national force, we're giving them an alternative."

The Colonel herself is a former Army Ranger who has seen action in Iraq and Afghanistan. She resigned her commission at the army's convenience after it was discovered that she had a special way of motivating her men.

"It's hard, lonely work and we were a long ways from home," she explains. "I was a light colonel commanding a Ranger infantry battalion, three companies and over a thousand enlisted bodies to take care of, so ... I put my girls to the task."

The battalion had about 150 females total and they were encouraged to provide sexual service to their off-duty male counterparts. The men under Pauline's command were issued "pussy chits" and the women received bonus and incentive pay for every chit they earned. There was surprisingly little complaint according to Gunnery Sergeant Cassie Phelps who left the army and joined VBE with her colonel.