Chapter 3

I slid into bed beside Teri. I had taken a shower in the downstairs bath so I was ready for anything or nothing, whatever was Teri's inclination.

"Is everything okay?"

"It is not only fine, but great. Mrs. Earle and I forgave each other. She will be moving soon, so you and I will have a home and a place to live. Mom sent me up to get into bed and make babies with you. Something about keeping up the family name."

"She will have to wait a little. I've got a lot of estrogen in me and that will have to wear off."

"I know, but we could practice."

"After last night, I don't believe you need much practice. You are just what I have been waiting for."

"I love you too, Teri."

"That's good then." She looked at me and then her eyes traveled to the envelope I had put on the dresser. "What is the letter?"

"It is a letter Mrs. Earle handed me. It is something Mona wrote just before she died."

"Aren't you going to open it?"

"Not tonight and maybe never. I am sure whatever she said will not change the way I think about things right now. If I read it, I am positive it would tear me up and I do not want that. I've just got my mind straight."

"Sorry I asked. Say, I am naked, you are naked, and your mom wants grandchildren. I'm here to oblige." Teri had lost interest in the letter and my thoughts. She soon indicated she had not lost interest in me--or any part of me. Would I ever get enough of this woman? I did not think so.

I came down for coffee at 5:30. Dad was having breakfast at his usual time. He always got to the compound by 6:45. "Is Teri driving me down this morning?"

"No, but I will. I want to say hi to the drivers."

"You won't find many of them there, you know that. Most of them are on the road long before this."

"I know, but I thought I would hang out with you this morning. Teri is sleeping in."

"Works for me, Son."

Dad was silent all the way to the compound. I knew he had something on his mind. "Ted, I have something to tell you about Mona. Your mother and Mrs. Earle were not keeping Mona from you or you from her. They were protecting her."

I broke in, "If they were protecting her, I have to ask from whom? It wasn't from me and she didn't have any enemies that I am aware of."

"They were protecting her from herself. They were actually on a suicide watch. They knew she would not do it while you were here, but were afraid she would ask you to get something to do it while you were away. That would have destroyed your love for her. God, I don't know how many times she asked me to get something so she could do herself in. I got so I couldn't visit her and I did love her almost as much as I do your sister."

"I don't know as I believe this."

"Well forget it then. I thought you were strong enough to handle me telling you. It has been weighing on my mind terribly."

I was trying to understand. "So Mom and Mrs. Earle did this, and then took my wrath at them, just to keep me from finding out?"

"That's what I am saying. I still don't think either want you to know about all of this."

"I won't say anything. What a burden to bear. Not for myself, but you, Mom and Mrs. Earle. Mona did not succeed in the end did she? I mean she died a few days before it was expected."

"No, we knew she was going to die that day. The doctor told us the day before. She didn't know herself."

"Why, I wonder. Why did she want to commit suicide?"

"She wanted you to get on with your life as soon as possible. She felt this way as soon as she was told she was going to die."

"This is awful. She was so wrong."

"Maybe, but you never got onto it because she made sure she was as loving as she always was with you when you were home. I tell you, Ted, that women are the most complicated beings on this earth. Look at your mother and tell me why she went along with hiding the truth from you?"

"I guess I will never understand or figure it out."

"I wouldn't even try, if I was you. Let's talk about something else. Are you going to continue to drive long-hauls?"

"No. Teri and I wondered about working here for you. You said you need my tractor. One of us can still do that and one of us can do farm pickups. The hours aren't too demanding and we would have part of the afternoons and the nights together."

"You are settling down aren't you?"

"I guess. Teri has a little money and I have quite a bit. I own the house across the road. Teri just bought that car she is driving and that is good for a handful of years more. Mom talked about wanting grandkids, and this would give me the chance to fulfill her wishes. We are going to take a vacation and see Sis and her family before we go to work here."

"Take as long as you want. Just leave your rig." I looked at Dad. He had not realized what he had just said.

I clarified it. "Dad, you mean you don't need me, but you do need my truck."

He started to say "Yes," then he laughed aloud. "You know what I mean, I just said it wrong."

"I know. I got your meaning, and I'm fine with it." Within a family, business and work always are a consideration and everyone understands--or they should. I left the compound and returned home. The house was empty. I guess Mom had taken Teri across the road to meet my mother-in-law. I could hear laughter as I neared the kitchen door. I opened it and the three women were having coffee. Teri got up, went to the cupboard, and poured me a cup, just as if she was my wife and had lived here forever. It made me feel good. Mom was beaming and Teri looked happy. Mrs. Earle had a satisfied, calm look on her face.

Mrs. Earle spoke, "Teri has agreed to drive the truck that has my belongings in it to my brother's. I have hired a van from Budget Rental. It will be big enough for what I have here and what is in storage. The only problem, Teri doesn't know if she can drive something that small." All three women started laughing, as women will do after one has said something they thought nonsensical.

Teri was going after the rental truck this afternoon and we planned to pack what was here at the house first. We would go over to the storage building and do the rest tomorrow. My mother-in-law wanted to get started the day after. I would follow in Teri's vehicle. After the truck was unloaded, and the truck turned in to the closest rental place, she and I would shoot across the border into Vermont. My sister and her family were anxious to see me. I wanted to have them meet Teri as well.

Mom and Mrs. Earle went across the road to prepare lunch. Teri wanted to examine the house more closely. We would be moving in as soon as we got back from vacation. I wondered aloud about the food in the pantry. In addition, about what was still in the refrigerator. "Sarah is going to take care of what we don't pack up."

I took notice that my mother was "Sarah," now. "Well, I can't call her Mom, yet can I? I will some day soon. I wish Eloise were not leaving. I like her almost as much as I do your mother."

"We'll visit her upstate as often as you like. Now she seems like she did when I first knew her. I have never called her anything but Mrs. Earle or Mother Earle, and I don't really know why either. Maybe because I felt I had to show my girl friend respect. That was at first and I never changed. It's not too late to change. We'll both call her Eloise from now on."

We toured the house and when we went into the bedroom, Teri bounced on the bed. "This is perfect and I love it. I'm glad it is staying here. Do you think we should try it out right now?"

I accepted the challenge, although I knew she was kidding. I grabbed her and started running my hands all over her body. "Get away from me, you pervert. What would Eloise think if we messed up her bed?" Teri was laughing as hard as she could. "Oh, God, if only..." I let go and walked toward the kitchen. "Damn it Ted, come back here and at least let me get even?" By the time we left for lunch, we were both looking forward to tonight.

Eloise joined us for supper. It was a convivial affair. Eloise called Teri "Mona" once, and then apologized. All looked at me to see how I took this slip-up. It did give me pause, but I covered it well, I think. "It was an honest mistake, Eloise. Think nothing of it."

Mom helped by stating that she had never heard me address Mother Earle by her given name. "Mom, we all miss Mona, but Eloise is still here. Even Teri says she wishes she could have known Mona. We just have to remember her at her best and move on. The relationships have changed. Eloise has gone from being my mother-in-law to what I hope is a friend."

Dad put in his two words, "Hear, hear." Eloise got up and came around behind me, leaned over and pecked me on my cheek. There were tears in her eyes, but she was smiling. It was quiet for a minute before conversation resumed.

Teri and I had just slid into bed when she asked, "Are you going to read the letter from your wife tonight?"

"No. I have an idea about what is in it, but I don't know as I want to know for certain."

"I think I know. Eloise and your mother told me a lot about her this morning. They also explained why they were with her so much and why it looked like they were manipulating you. That is what made you so angry at them isn't it?"

"Yes, of course. You would have been mad in my situation, too. I was young, yes, but she was my wife. It was up to me to care for her. I still get upset when I think about it. I have forgiven them and yes, I have forgiven Mona. She was the one who manipulated them to make them manipulate me." I stopped talking. Then I said, "Now it is up to you to make me forget."

"Come here, Ted, hold me, love me, and I will do my best."

Eloise Earle was over for breakfast and soon after we took the van over to the storage facility and loaded it up. This was finished by noon. Eloise said she wanted to go through and clean her house one more time. I laughed at her. There was no better housekeeper than my mother-in-law.

"Just let me have a little time alone, this is all I want." There were tears in her eyes. Teri gave her a hug and took my hand to lead me away so Eloise could go into the house alone.

Eloise again ate with us all for the evening meal. She was acting pensive. She brightened when she started talking about her niece and nephew. I had not seen them for more than three years. They would be in their teens now. Mona and I saw her uncle, aunt, and the kids every time we got the chance.

I was somewhat surprised that Eloise was moving in with her brother and his family. She loved her brother and his kids, but did not know how she would get along with her sister-in-law. I suspected this was going to be a transition move and she would soon be finding her own quarters sometime in the future.

We got up early before dark the next morning and had a light breakfast. After exchanging hugs among us, Teri headed out with the Budget Rental truck. It was not a heavy load. There was some furniture but no appliances. A lot of it consisted of linens and things she and my father-in-law had collected over the years, while they owned their farm. Much of it was packed already. She had not unpacked it all when she moved in with Mona and me.

Eloise rode with me to start. We estimated it wouldn't take too many hours to reach Plattsburg. We did stop a couple of times for coffee. Eloise talked mostly about my wife. We relived the time over again when I used to come to the farm to see her Mona. I was favored over Mona's other boyfriends as I was willing to help her with chores. Other boys shied away from this.

"Ted, I can tell you what is written in the letter I handed you if you need me to. It was I who put it into an envelope. I had to do this because Mona was so weak at this point. It just says she is so sorry that she was going to die and leave you alone. I warn you it will make you shed some tears."

I had the feeling that Eloise did not want me to read it. I already had a sense of what might be in it from what my father had told me and from what Mom and Eloise had told Teri. This was diametrically opposed to what I was being told now. I had the letter. I might not read it, but I could at any time.

Eloise got into the van with Teri at our last stop before reaching Plattsburg. We were going to be early enough so we would be able to unload and turn the truck in. I had no idea if my uncle could put Teri and me up for the night.

Mona's aunt and uncle had stayed home from work today. When we arrived, Frances and Fredrick Bolt came down off the porch. For a minute, I thought of the picture "American Gothic" by Grant Wood. It was not the house behind them, for this one was faded red. Fred was not holding a pitchfork or wearing overalls. I narrowed the comparison to their expression. I knew this would change, for the two liked me. They looked so serious, but at heart, they were a fun-loving couple. Mona and I had always had a good relationship with her two younger cousins. I looked for them as it had been some time since I had seen either.

I was suddenly tackled from the rear and a boy of fourteen stood over me laughing as I was picking myself up. This was Pete, Mona's youngest cousin. I went after him and wrestled him to the ground making him give. When we got back in the yard, my cousin Wendy was standing there by her mother. She was sixteen and beginning to develop. Up until the time I had last seen her, she had been more tomboy than girl.

She had changed and had a flirty look on her face. She also looked a lot like Mona had at that age. "Hi cousin Wendy, sixteen huh?"

"Yes."

"Have you been kissed yet?"

"No, and you aren't going to kiss me either."

"Wanna bet?" I took off after her and chased her around the back of the house. She was squealing and screaming. Suddenly she stopped and faced me.

"Okay, kiss me. I have always wanted to be kissed by you. I just didn't want anyone to see me." I got myself into this so I kissed her. Wendy's face was very pink as she closed her eyes and came into my arms. For just a second I held her and then pulled away.

"Is the woman that is with you your new love? She isn't pretty like cousin Mona was."

"She is the one I love now. You may not think she is beautiful, but she is the best and she loves me and that makes me happy for I love her too."

"No chance for me?" I shook my head, no.

"Well, I'll just have to dump that dream won't I? She better be good to you or I will hate her forever." One quick hug and I came back around the house. The four adults and Pete were watching as Wendy came from the other side of the house, saying, "He couldn't catch me."

Everyone was laughing. I think they all knew Wendy was kissed. The only one I would have to answer to would be Teri. Maybe not, for Wendy walked up and started asking Teri about herself.

The van was soon unloaded. Fred had cleared out a small loft of a building over what had been a horse barn at one time. As soon as we had the rental unloaded, Fred followed me into Plattsburg to turn it in.

On the way back he asked, "Are you serious about the lady who is with you?"

"Very. It took me a long time to get over Mona. I have not known Teri long, but we have seemed to hit it off very well. We are in a relationship and we are talking about making it permanent. Dad is going to put us to work after being on vacation for a month. Teri is a semi-driver just as I am, maybe better than I am even."

"Eloise did keep us posted. She said you were a basket case and blamed your mother and herself for the way they took care of Mona. Any truth to that?"

"Quite a bit, but we are beyond it now. Teri helped pull me out of my funk and the rest all fell into place."

"Good. We like you, and the kids were sorry you didn't come to see us after Mona passed."

"I'll make it up to you, I promise."

The women had prepared a big meal and, as Fred and Franny had to work tomorrow, we turned in to bed early. We had the use of Wendy's bed. A few off-color remarks came from Wendy until her mother told her she was going too far.

The only comment Teri made was that Wendy had a crush on me. I agreed she did, but not to worry, I loved someone else. Teri and I were up for breakfast before Fred and Franny went to work. She and I were going to hang out with Pete and Wendy until after lunch and then we were going to shoot across Lake Champlain to my sister's for supper this evening.

Pete had a lawn mowing business and had two to do after we left. Wendy washed dishes at a little diner just down the road from their home. She had to be there after the noon meal. We talked mostly about Teri and me traveling back and forth across the country driving truck. As Teri talked, I got more of a sense of how she handled different situations. I began to believe my starting a relationship with her was one of the best things that had ever happened to me.

We promised that we would be back to see this family more often. Eloise clung to me with tears in her eyes as we were leaving. "Ted, I know we have had some problems in the past. It is life's way. I do feel as close to you as I did before Mona got sick. Please don't ever forget me."

"I won't and Teri won't either. I hope you are happy here. Let us know how you are doing."

We left on that note and went south to the Fort Kent ferry crossing to Burlington. Then we took Route 7 to Shelburne and found my sister Susan's farm. She and George had 540 acres of land. They milked dairy cows for their main income, but had other projects going to complement that. Their two sons, my nephews Peter and Paul, were old enough to work. In fact, George had been able to lay off one of his hired men a year ago when the two boys took over his duties.

We stayed a week. There was not much time to relax with the family, because all were busy. I knew a little about farming, but not enough to help much. George did take time to explain what he had in mind for the boys. One was working toward taking over the dairy operation. The other son ran the sawmill, and raised specialty crops, doing the marketing for the whole operation.

"What are the specialty crops?" George put us into his pickup and drove us out to a five-acre plot that rose up to the steep hill to the east. There were bunches of coarse grass growing on it.

"This used to be part of our pasture. It would feed a couple head of cattle for a season. Not very much return after the taxes paid on the land. Four years ago, I bought one of those Chinese pellet mills. I started making pellets from the sawdust generated by the sawmill. It was cheap, but money now down the drain. The damned thing was always breaking down."

He paused before continuing, "That set me thinking. The manure from the cattle generates methane gas, so I joined the electric green energy movement here in Vermont. I am one of the farms that has 'Cow Power' that returns power to the electric grid. The methane gas from the manure is used for energy to generate electricity. I get paid for that.