Chapter 19

My last night on swing shift was a bust. Even so I slept till noon the next day. When I awoke I took a shower, then dressed in my jeans and one of my forest green tee shirt. I wore one of the several men's white dress shirts over it. I also clipped the off duty holster onto my belt before I slipped on the medium weight parka type field jacket. Being a military police person would have allowed me to steal all the uniforms I wanted, but I bought mine from the surplus store just outside the back gate of my last base. The uniforms were things with which I was familiar. That being the case I had no problem parting with the few dollars it cost to pick up lots of fatigues pieces. I got green tee tops and the heavy and light weight parkas for a tiny fraction of their real worth.

I had already been told by the rednecks I met off duty, that there was nothing sexier to them than a woman in camo. I couldn't do camo pants they made my ass look huge, but most anything else I could do just fine. I just like the look of white dress shirts and blue jeans.

I drove from the motel to the best barbecue joint in the area. It just happened to be across the square from the courthouse. I knew there should be a deputy or lawyer having lunch there around 1PM, when I arrived. That day was no exception.

"Hey Porter I hear you are into threesomes. I would like to volunteer." the deputy I hardly knew suggested.

"Whats your name again, Jones?" I asked sarcastically.

"Melvin James," he said. Fortunately he was alone.

"Well Deputy James that is pretty much sexual harassment, just sayin'." I replied innocently.

"Oh, I'm sorry I was just kidding. Word is going around about that Gypsy Austin chick saying you and Simpson propositioned her. I really didn't mean any harm." he said.

"Don't tell me you believed her?" I asked.

"Of course not," he said trying to crawl out from under the load, I insinuated, I might drop on his ass.

"Good, it would really piss me off, if anyone thought that I would ever have sex of any kind with Simpson," I smiled as I said it. It was the way he looked after that which gave me the idea. It wasn't like it was anything new to me. There was a really nasty variety of sand flea going around on my last deployment. I had to have it done before I could board a plane home.

So after I ate my really wonderful chopped barbecue sandwich alone, I drove to the men's barber shop one block off the square. I parked in the very small and narrow parking lot between his building and the old style general store beside him. Once inside the front door the single black barber asked, "What can I do for you ma'am?"

"Well to be honest, the weather is shit and I'm tired of having wet hair every time I sit down to watch TV. How much would you charge to give me an electric clipper cut? I want it pretty much shaved, but with no razors." I asked.

"Ma'am I couldn't do that," he said shaking his head.

"Fair enough, just thought I would ask," I explained. I found it hard to believe that he would turn down the business. Then I realized how much shit he could be stepping into, if I was a typical woman and changed my mind a day later. Boyfriends and husbands sitting on his door step screaming, "How could you?"

I went to the Walmart store on the edge of Dobson. From them I bought a set of Wahl electric clippers for under twenty bucks. I decided that with a couple of mirrors I could do the job just fine. I checked out through a cutesy little white girl's register.

"I have a set just like this I use to clip my poodle. I just love them," she said smiling.

"Yeah well I don't have a dog. I just have thin limp ratty hair that is about to become history," I said with a smile. I was even more amused by how horrified she looked.

I talked big but it took me over an hour to work up the courage to make that first cut. I wasn't a bit worried by the amount of bourbon it took to work up the nerve. How much skill was going to be required to shave my head?

Fortunately even though my hair hung down it was limp and dry enough to be easy for the humming sheers to move through. It took a dozen passes, at least, but in the end my scalp was visible with just a brown stubble over it. I needed to go shopping again, I thought. I needed one of those chemotherapy head rags, without a doubt.

I had just enough bourbon in me to make that a stupid idea. The drive to shop was the stupid idea, I decided. I fell into bed and napped two more hours. When I awoke from the nap, I wasn't sorry that I had made the moves I had. I did wish that I had some head covers ready before I gave myself the haircut.

The ringing phone woke me from my nap. It was a call from Simon Boyle.

"What?" I asked irritated.

"Sylvia you do know that it's Friday. Historically people go out on Friday night," he said.

"Sure to dinner and a movie kind of thing, is that what you are inviting me to do?" I asked.

"Not exactly, I kind of had an orgy in mind," he said.

"Of course you did the only problem is I'm a cop honey. Even though it sounds great, I would lose my job most likely," I said.

"What if it were on a boat filled with tourists who were just passing through." he asked.

"Simon there is no place around her for a boat like that," I said logically.

"I know that, but would that be an acceptable risk?" he asked.