Chapter 20

When I awoke, never realizing when I'd become unconscious, it was She who led, not me. I cowered in on myself in a small corner of my mind, numb thanks to Her. I knew every word She spoke, every action She made for Us, but I didn't care. Nothing mattered anymore.

"She hides within Us," She told them. "I cannot let Her out until I am certain She won't kill Us. There is great agony, for which our mate will pay. He forgets what We told him when he ran the first time and, when the time comes, We will follow through. But I don't know how to help Her now and I cannot let Her stay buried within Us for long."

"How long can you give us to find a solution?" I knew my father's voice, even in my broken state. I could hear the pain but had nothing left to help him.

"Two more days, no more." Her voice was firm. "By then, I'll have to force Her up or else the sentience will leave Us and We'll become Beast-Lost."

"It means that there is nothing but the animal left inside," my father explained. "It happens when we lose a mate sometimes. They usually have to be killed quickly to prevent them from turning feral."

"But he's not dead." I knew that female voice but shied away from identifying her. That way led to pain and I wanted to stay numb.

"He has rejected Us, which is worse. It would be easier if he were dead because it would be a clean break that We could maybe heal from." She shook Our head and growled. "Instead, he's kept the bond connecting us so damaged that She cannot know what he feels. Then, he gives out little hurts that cut deep and leave Us broken and wounded with the certain knowledge that he no longer cares. It is this that I cannot fix." Our chest rose and fell in a heavy sigh. "She needs a safe place to heal. Here is no good - there is pain for Her when She remembers this place. We cannot go home and we must not be left to Ourselves."

"How about I take you with me?" Nathania asked valiantly. "I can take Her to a place that will hold no memories and may keep Her mind occupied long enough to mend."

"In the Demon Realms? Is that safe? I mean, her Life Force is still vibrant and I doubt she'll be capable of defending herself for some time." His concern was obvious in his voice.

"We'll be fine. I think it may be the only chance for Us." I could feel Her optimism but I didn't share it.

"That's settled then. I'll just go call Annie and Gene and let them know..."

"No," that woman interrupted, "let everyone think she's still here. Don't even tell Marcus, if you can help it. If Talon comes looking for her," my feline half couldn't suppress my whimper at his name, "you can tell him she's gone off somewhere but you don't know where."

We heard him mutter, "I'll give him a piece of my mind if he shows up here," as he left the room.

"I like him. You're lucky to have a father that cares so much." We just nodded. "I want to head out before the storm you spoke of hits and wastes precious time, so I'll let you pack. We'll get proper clothing for our destination once we're there, so you should pack lightly." She left the room, but I could feel both her and my father down the hall.

As we dressed, ignoring the scabbed over furrows in my chest, We could hear the two of them talking. The woman gave assurances of returning with my body should this plan fall through and We turned feral. My father thanked her for giving Us this chance.

"I don't know how long we'll be gone," she explained to him. "The portals can be tricky with time fluctuations."

"If it takes years, then so be it. I don't want to lose my daughter. Is it too much to ask for the occasional letter or progress report?"

"No, that would probably be a good idea. We'll have to work out how to get things back and forth, but we'll figure it out."

And then it was time to go. Neither She nor myself knew how we felt by the prospect of spending an undefined amount of time in a foreign world, away from everything We've ever known. The beginnings of curiosity stirred in Her and pulled at me, but only time would tell if this little sojourn could recall me back to myself enough to overcome the pain and return home to my life and family.

And maybe, just maybe, my mate.