Chapter 7

“If you do not mind, Davik,” A familiar voice from behind me said, “I would not mind a plate of that delicious smelling food.”

I jumped in surprise and turned to see who had just said that. To say I was shocked would have been an understatement.

“What in the seven hells is going on, Lillian? You’re a Voguel?! How can you change into a wolf without a blood moon? Why have you been helping me all this time?”

She laughed at the rapid succession of my questions and it was only then I realized, that the blanket was the only thing covering her bare skin.

“That is a lot to answer, Davik,” she said with a slight smile. “I will do my best to answer what I know and why I did what I did. Yes, I am what Celka refers to as a Voguel and have been for all my life - from what I can tell. My mother was normal, never turned into a wolf from what I can remember. I never knew who my father was, my mother met him when she was very young. They fell in love, but one night he told her that he had to leave and never return. It broke my mother’s heart and she was never the same again. She doted on me as much as she could, but I could tell she longed to see my father again. She died during one of the attacks that happened after you had left.”

“If you have been a Voguel all your life,” I asked, with an air of disbelief, “how is it you did not change and protect her?”

She sighed and said, “Because Brant, or one of his followers, bit me that night. It wasn’t until the next blood moon that I changed for the first time, but I had left the village before it came. The first night I changed it was extremely painful - I could feel how my bones and body changed into the new wolf form. What surprised me was that I looked like a black wolf with golden eyes, which was the description of the wolf that attacked your parents. Once I changed back, I went to find my elder mother in Vertan, to the northwest. It took me two months to get there, and between travel and accommodation payments, I spent every Drectar I had.

My elder mother welcomed me, as she had not expected to see me for some time. I had to tell her what happened to her daughter – my mother - and watched as her heart broke a little.

Then her eyes hardened like steel, and she told me of the Voguel and how they had terrorized where she had come from for most of her life. She had learned the ways to prepare the poisons that were used to detect and kill them. She was the one that had told me of the cure, one that she had worked tirelessly on for most of her life to perfect. When I asked her why, she said she had had the misfortune of falling in love with one. The revelation shook me to my core, I wanted to run from the house and her.

“She explained that she had never known what he was, until after she became pregnant by him. He had hidden what he was by making sure his hunting trips coincided with blood moons, so he had been able to hide it for nearly a year. When she found out, she had been devastated and told him to leave and never come back, without telling him that she had become pregnant. At the time, they had been living in a village called Detara, north of the capital. She moved frequently and used the tricks she had been taught by her family to hide her tracks and ward herself from him.

My mother was four years old when they finally settled in Vertan, but my elder mother had been working to make a cure since my mother had been born. She tested her regularly, and every time she tried to administer a cure, it failed. One night when my mother was six, my exasperated elder mother made a quick and sloppy mixture. Not tracking what she had used, she completed the ritual and when she administered it to my mother, mother got sick. After two days her fever broke, and when she had fully recovered my elder mother tested her and she showed no reaction. My elder mother repeatedly tested her over the years, and never once had she seen the sign of the curse.

“I explained that I had been bitten and that during the last moon, I had changed. Fear gripped my elder mother’s face and she tested me, with the reaction showing I was indeed infected with the curse. She became frantic, and we spent the next few weeks, trying to perfect the cure.

The night of the blood moon, she was with me in the woods as I changed and stared in wonder at my new form. When the moon was gone, she tried to adjust the cure in different ways, hoping to reproduce the miracle she had had with my mother. After four years and multiple attempts, we had gotten no closer.

My elder mother then got very sick, and it was my turn to take what she had taught me to help cure her. I was able to help her stay around a few more years, but I had only held the sickness at bay. During that time, she taught me everything that she had known about Voguel, and passed on her skill with potions, herbs and balms. She passed the night before the blood moon, and I felt such sorrow. She had prepared every aspect of the cure, save for the poison that would be used to kill the curse. I did not want to live anymore and prepared every ounce of nightshade that she had and performed the ritual she had showed me, one last time. I looked at the dead form of my elder mother, and drank the contents, hoping that I would join her.

“I was very surprised that I woke up the next day, but I felt terrible - as if I had caught a bug. I notified the Patron of her passing and he arranged everything, as I had explained I had fallen under the weather and was unable to take care of it myself. There was a large service and all the village was there to pay tribute to her as the healer.

I returned to the house and prepared for the coming torment of the night that was to come. I drank a lot of water and tried to eat, but bread was the only food I could keep down for any length of time. As the sun went down, I went into the forest, preparing for the change to come.

I had found a small grotto, that - like this cave - was very hard to find, about a year and a half after I had arrived in the village. I would remove my clothes and store them there, then go outside and await the change. My heart sank as I watched the red moon begin to crawl its way up the sky, and I braced myself for the discomfort that came with the change. As the moon rose to its zenith, I found myself in shock, as by now I would already be running through the forest, looking for prey. I felt immediate elation as I realized that I had been cured, I quickly dressed and returned home.”

“But you are not cured, Lillian,” I said, obviously confused by her story so far. “The fact that you were a wolf less than an hour ago, proves that to be true.”

She gave me a look I knew all too well, that I had said something profoundly stupid. Violet had given me a few looks like that from time to time.

“That is because I am not done, Davik,” sounding exasperated at my statement. “I had thought I was cured until I had gotten home and tested myself to be sure. When I responded positive for the curse, I did not understand how I could not change and still be cursed. I could not figure out what had happened, and why I was still testing positive. I waited three months to check if the events of the last blood moon were a fluke, but I still did not change.

“I wondered what that meant for me, how I could have now become different. While I wanted to stay and help, there were too many memories there I talked with the Patron and he gave me a fair sum for my elder mother’s house. I then decided to make my way south and see if the next village I came to would have need of a healer. They did not need my services but directed me to a village that could. I rested for the night and set out the next day.

“Two hours into my travel, I was beset by a group of bandits. They surrounded me and I feared that it would not make it out with my purity intact. One of them grabbed me from behind and I screamed, which resulted in the leader backhanding me. I was thrown to the ground and held by two of them as the leader began to kneel between my forced-open legs. Fear filled me, then I felt the hints of the change, even though there was no blood moon. I latched onto that feeling and urged it to grow, willing it to happen.

“They started screaming in terror as my body began to change before them. Worried that something was wrong with me, they all let go and moved away. That was their mistake, for moments later I was changed, and angry. I grabbed the leg of the nearest bandit and ripped it right off the man. The others were beginning to draw their weapons, so I acted fast. I run into the legs of one of them, causing him to fall over. I continued to the next one and tore out his left hamstring before he got his sword free of its scabbard. I then darted into the woods and used the cover to move around.

The three uninjured members, including the leader, made a fatal mistake, because they came in after me. I had spent years, during the blood moon, hunting, and had become quite adept at moving around without making much noise. I started to lash out and attack before retreating into the dense brush. Slowly I started to wear away their energy, and get a wound in.

“One of them made a wide swing where he had last seen me enter and was rewarded with a broken arm for his efforts. I latched onto his arm as he finished his swing and twisted my head, causing his forearm to break. He screamed out in pain and I moved back into cover, the leader was becoming wary of continuing our little game and soon tried to leave. The other came and checked on his friend, I lunged out and sunk my teeth in his neck and broke it with a twist.

“I dispatched his other friend in the same manner and ran after the leader. His scent was rampant with fear and it was easy to follow.

“In moments, I was in striking range and tore one of his hamstrings. As he fell to the ground, I did the other, making sure he could not run away, before heading for his neck. He tried valiantly to fight me off, but I broke his arm, much as I had done to his friend. I then broke his neck and took care of his comrades. Once they were dead, I dragged the three over to where I had killed the first two, that way no one would be able to see. I also carefully collected my clothing.

“It took me an hour just to get them there, and then I was stuck trying to figure out what I had to do to change back. I knew the sensation that caused me to change, so I tried to remember the sensation that would come when I was going to change back. I then searched for that feeling, hoping to find it, and after two hours I did.

was thankful that I had changed back, but the taste of flesh and blood was in my mouth. While I had not swallowed any of what I had torn or damaged, I did not like the idea of it. One of them had a flask on them, and after opening and smelling it, I could tell it was bourbon. It did well enough to rinse my mouth of their awful taste, I then went through what they had on them. One of them had a nice satchel, so I took it as it would rove very useful.

“After about an hour of looting, I had a fair number of Drectar and a new knife. I put it and my clothes into the satchel and sat down. Closing my eyes, I focused on finding the mental switch to trigger my transformation.

“After thirty minutes of searching, I found it. When the transformation was concluded - once again a wolf - I picked up the satchel and found that it sat just above the ground when I was wrapped around my neck. With a dash, I started to run towards my original destination, elated by the slight fortune this had given me. My travel times were cut in half and I enjoyed how quickly I could get around.

“I spent the next two years perfecting my transformations and utilizing my new skills. I then found myself in Cartha, and, while they did have a healer, the village had grown to become a town and the healers needed help. I had heard that attacks still happened, but my new state left me un-fazed. I spent time with Violet and Ilane and came to enjoy working with them. Violet and I became close in our time working together, and due to my hatred of men - after those bandits - I became enamored of her. When I found out that Brant had become interested in her, I figured the relationship that had begun would end. Instead, she spurned him at every chance, saying she was waiting for someone far better. For a while, when our relationship became physical, I believed that I was the one. Brant had tried to get me to help him, and he seemed like a nice guy when we interacted. I started to wonder why she kept saying no, and why she was so angry with him.

“I believe the rape happened a few weeks after the last time he had talked to me, asking me to convince Violet to go the event he had planned at his home. We argued and fought, she relented, but I knew she was only going to keep the argument from continuing. Her father had walked in at the end and heard her say she would go, and a look crossed his face and he said he would accompany her. I had to stay at the clinic, wishing I could see Violet beautifully dressed to impress the people there. Ilane had picked up a new lilac colored dress just for the occasion.

“When I saw her the next day, she would not speak to me, and even her mother seemed cold to me. I did not know why, and when I asked Brant why she would be so upset, he told me to mind my business. It took months for her to be friendly to me again. Thinking on it now, she had to have resented me for pushing her to go. It took half a year before she would be remotely intimate with me, and yet she still seemed detached.

“When I had hope that she might change, you arrived, and her attitude changed. She was happier than I had ever seen in all the time I had known her. She became almost violent towards Brant and told me she was done with me and spent all her time with you.

“I was worried, and a bit jealous, so I followed you to the grove, hoping to scare you away, only to see her there with you. I could see the love she had for you - which you felt equally with her - and it only fed my hatred for you. I had hoped to pick a moment, during one of the blood moon raids to attack you in hopes of scaring you away from Cartha. I never expected you to run out and start hunting them.