Chapter 3

"You seem in good spirits," Rhea said as I danced around the kitchen to the tune on the radio while making breakfast. "Is it still Abi?"

"It's ABBA" I replied in a deadpan voice and Rhea snarled at me. "No, it is not Abi. Well not completely Abi. Tea?" Rhea shook her head as I poured the steaming brown liquid from the teapot into individual cups.

Mum appeared the moment the last cup was full and I smiled. "Tea? Freshly made. I was going to bring it up with the newspaper."

"You bloody weren't, I'm reading it," moaned Rhea.

"You are in your nightclothes, you need to get dressed" I reminded her and she pouted at me. "Or at least, I think that was once sold as a nightie instead of a T-Shirt"

Rhea looked down at her clothes and shrugged. "I like it, and it's not as though I need to be staid or prudish in my own home."

"Do we know why he is in such a good mood?" Mum asked Rhea, as she took the drink from me.

"No. But I think it has something to do with Abi..." Rhea teased.

" ... or Sarah" Mum added and I thought back to our conversation the night before. Did I mention Sarah? I think I must have done or else how else could Mum have known.

"Who's Sarah?" Rhea asked before I could respond.

"He went out with his school year so maybe someone from there." Mum told her, ignoring me standing a few feet behind her.

"Do you mind. Private life," I uttered but Rhea got down from the table, her ass clearly visible as she went and returned with a bound A4 document.

"It's his yearbook," she teased and leafed through it.

"That's mine," I protested but Rhea ignored my protest. "Shouldn't have left it on the table then. Sarah or Sara?"

"Definitely Sarah," Mum replied enjoying my discomfort.

"There is one, Sarah Bailey, page 28," Rhea muttered as she leafed through it. A colour picture of a girl, smiling intently at the camera emerged, and Rhea grinned. "She'd put me in a good mood as well," my little sister teased.

"I didn't realise you were a lesbian," I uttered without thinking and Mum shot me a disapproving look. I took a deep breath. "Just so you know. I went bowling with her. Sarah has a boyfriend in London. We bowled and she beat me at Scrabble. That is it." I told her omitting the portions of my evening that would interest Rhea the most.

"He lies," Rhea goaded me in a deep, trailing voice.

"Of course, we could talk about what happened when I returned home and went to use the phone at 10pm," I added. I had not been home at 10pm, nor gone to use the phone, but I knew (because I knew Rhea) that she would have been talking to her boyfriend until late into the evening. Rhea went red and excused herself to get dressed. "I'm thinking of going up Wendover Woods for a picnic tomorrow with Ray and Abi and a couple of other people," I said, deliberately leaving Donna and Sarah out of the equation by name for the moment, "if everyone is up for it. Could we, er, take a couple of bottles of wine?"

Mum looked at me. "Who are the couple of other people?" she asked, sensing my discomfort.

"People from school. Just ummm, you know," I replied evasively.

"No I don't know, who?"

"Donna and her friend" I admitted. "Donna is going out with Ray. I think anyhow." Mum looked at me inquisitively, so I added. "OK, Donna and Sarah."

"I should be a little worried by this. It's either can you please take two girls to the woods with loads of alcohol or can Ray and you take three girls to the woods with loads of alcohol."

"That's not quite what I said..."

" ... but it's what you meant. What do Sarah's parents think?"

"Sarah was very interested when I suggested it."

"I'm sure she was. That's not what I asked," she replied, tapping the sides of her drink as I squirmed.

"It's just I promised Abi I'd take her to Wendover Woods. You know how peaceful and tranquil it can be this time of year. Ray and I wouldn't mind going back, we might take our cameras. Sarah is dating a guy in London and her best friend is Donna so it'll be innocent, harmless relaxation after working very hard for our exams. It is not what you think."

Mum stared at me, trying to read my mind. "Why is it I always get suspicious when someone uses the line 'it's not what you think'?"

"Bad choice, maybe. You've always said, if I want to be treated like an adult, I need to act like an adult and thought it would be a good way to pass a nice summer afternoon." I reasoned. "And anyway if Abi comes, she is a responsible adult."

"It is not Abi's job to babysit a bunch of sixteen year olds," Mum replied firmly and I nodded.

"OK. Well will you please think about it? As I said, it'll be nice way to end a long walk I have planned"

"There are a lot of things you want me to think about at the moment," she moaned but I ignored her objections and I thanked her as I left the room with the drink for Abi.

Abi was awake enough to thank me for the hot drink but not conscious enough to converse fully. She joined me on the couch sixty minutes later, showered and dressed. She was wearing shorts and T-shirts, which showed off her figure and legs wonderfully but left much to imagination.

I explained my plans for the following day and Abi, who was doing a shift that night, was happy to go but didn't want to leave too early. I phoned Ray who said he'd come and then tentatively dialled Sarah's number. Within two rings, Sarah answered excitedly.

I asked her to get Donna to meet us at the car park in Wendover Woods for 11am and then set out to go to the Supermarket.

I was lucky in that my father paid a generous stipend into my account every month and that I barely touched it. I never disclosed to my friends how much "pocket money" in essence I got, although I did use this to pay for my stationery at school and do odds and ends. When Paula lived next door I often used to help in the shop on Saturdays and still had a tidy sum left over from that. It's not that I would intentionally not spend money but I often did not see value in what I was supposed to pay for stuff that interested me and rationalised that I would find a better way to spend the money at a later date.

With my Solo card in my wallet I headed for the local Sainsbury's and bought twelve bread rolls, two big bottles of pop, two packs of ham, two giant bags of crisps, pork pies and a Victoria sponge. Back home, I made up the rolls and wrapped them in cellophane, and put the pies and the pop in the fridge to cool.

It was gone lunchtime and after grabbing a banana I asked Rhea, who was watching television where everybody was.

"Mum's out walking and Abi went to mend her car," she replied without looking up from the screen. I walked to the top of the stairs and opened the fire escape door to see Abi was bent over the wheel of her rusting vehicle.

"Let me give you a hand with that," I shouted as I came down the fire escape and she shook her head.

"I can manage," she told me as she stood on the wrench to loosen the nuts.

"Looks like it" I teased as I sat on the bottom stair of the fire escape, peeling the banana.

Abi shot me a dirty look and leaned forward on the wrench but it would not budge.

"Here, let me have a go," I said as I finished the fruit. Abi was sweaty and frustrated at the car nut for not budging and her hair, normally so immaculate, was untidy and ruffled.

"I don't need your help Andy," she snapped aggressively. "I've been driving for three years, I can change a goddamn tyre."

I backed off immediately as she spoke. "I'm only trying to help," I muttered, the ferocity of her response taking me by surprise. Abi had always been so calm and relaxed in everything she did and I didn't expect to see her be so vicious. I didn't like it.

"You think because I'm a woman I can't change a tyre. Is it a man's job?" she asked patronisingly.

"No Abi, you are struggling. Let someone help you 'cos you clearly can't do it."

Her eyes narrowed and she took a deep breath. "Go away," she spat back. I was fortunate that Mr Asuni interrupted the stand-off with a crate of empty bottles that he put in a big bin. As he did it, he winced and squeezed his shoulder.

"Hurt yourself?" I asked and he nearly jumped out of his skin.

"Andy," he greeted me in his deep accent. "Didn't see you there. Yeah, I overstretched myself on the weights last night. Shoulder kills now."

"You want any help?" I asked looking at Abi and he nodded.

"I've got a couple of crates that need to go if you wouldn't mind. I'd get Hugo to do it but it's his day off"

"No problem," I gleefully said, my eyes not leaving Abi. "Not everyone is too proud to accept help"

The two crates were heavy but I managed to carry them from the bar area, down the corridor and into the yard where Ikenna and I tipped them into the large crate.

"You couldn't give me a hand with a large bottle of whisky, could you?" he asked and we went back inside to one of the bars. The bottle was twice as big as the bottles I'd see in the supermarket and weighed so much more. It needed someone to hold it place while Ikenna clipped and screwed the support in, but when we'd finished, it hung nicely on the wall with the optic on the bottom.

I carried some glasses for him and reached up to put them on the ledge above the bar, and then moved the hoover to where it is stored as opposed to where it was left.

"What are you doing in here?" a familiar voice asked from behind me causing me to jump.

"Just helping Ikenna," I started indignantly but Mum interrupted me.

"Oh, I forgot you hurt your shoulder. You done?" she asked.

I turned to the bar manager who nodded and thanked me.

Abi was still struggling with the wheel nut when I returned but she didn't even look up at me. I went up to her car and tugged at her arms.

"I've told you to go away," she warned but I tugged at her shoulder.

"Come on Abi, please. Stop being so awkward, let me have a go."

She shook her head and gave the wrench a kick. I watched the wrench leave the immovable wheel nut and arc in the air before landing firmly against my shin. I cried out in sharp pain and stumbled back against the wall.

"Fucking hell Abi, What you do that for?" I shouted at her, when my Mum and Ikenna appeared from the doorway. Abi stood there motionless, in shock muttering.

"What happened?" Ikenna asked and I looked down at the large cut at the top of my shin.

"The wrench slipped and smacked me in the leg." I lied and sat down on the bottom of the fire escape rubbing my painful shin.

"Are you OK?" Mum asked Abi; I spluttered in indignation. Was Abi OK? She was the one through her stubbornness and aggression that caused my anguish.

"I'm so sorry," she cried and Mum looked at the wheel.

"They're difficult to get off when the garage put them on aren't they?"

Ikenna looked at me wiping the wound with a tissue and smirked.

"I'll get the first aid kit," Ikenna said and disappeared inside. He returned with the little green box but Mum as "the qualified first aider" applied the bandage. I tried to do it myself but she was insistent that she had to do it and I was to allow her to do what was required.

I looked up as Mum bandaged my wound to see Ikenna get a tool from his car, a wrench with a telescopic handle. He attached it to the wheel nut, extended it by three feet and then gave it to Abi. "Try that."

Abi easily loosened all the nuts in seconds and she thanked him, her voice barely rising above a whisper. Ikenna and Mum went inside a few moments later and I watched in silence as Abi jacked up her car, and swapped the tyre, dropped the car back to the ground, tightened the nuts, and inflated her new tyre. She didn't look at me, but kept wiping her eyes.

The pain in my shin subsided as she replaced her tyre and I rubbed it a couple of times, wincing as I did. I knew I would have a massive bruise there the following day but there was no lasting damage. "See, it's not too difficult to accept help," I told her icily when she returned from giving Ikenna his wrench back. She didn't respond and locked her car.

"Andy, are you OK to go up there?" she asked as took my first step up the fire escape.

"I'll be fine" I muttered, slightly annoyed at her sudden concern now and not earlier when blood was pouring out of my leg.

"Look, I am sorry. I didn't mean to hit you with the spanner," a tearful Abi said when we reached our landing.

"I know you didn't. We all get frustrated," I found myself saying reasonably. I was annoyed with her, but for some reason I didn't want to stay hostile with her for very long. "But I honestly just wanted to help you know."

"I know. I just don't like accepting help from..." Abi stopped mid-sentence and wiped her eyes. "I didn't mean to..."

"I know you didn't. Don't worry about it. I hope it's not too bad tomorrow or we will get asked questions."

"Am I still allowed to go tomorrow?" Abi asked, her eyes widened.

I touched her hand and squeezed it gently looking into her eyes. "Don't be silly, of course you're coming," I told her, my gaze not leaving her soft eyes. "You're forgiven. This once," I joked and she chuckled. " ... and you're still perfect even though stubbornness is a very unendearing quality," I added, although I wondered later exactly what Abi did to make me so laid back about the whole affair.

If it had been anyone else there would have been hell to pay.

"Your girlfriend rang for you" Rhea called when I walked down the stairs.

"What girlfriend?" I asked and Rhea smirked. "Oh very good," I replied at my little sister and pulled out a crumpled up piece of paper from my pocket.

Sarah answered breathlessly within a few rings and squealed when she heard my voice. "Andy. Look, Mum and Dad are going shopping in Aylesbury for some garden furniture and I need to nip into town but don't want to spend all afternoon with them. Do you want to meet up for a coffee? I've rung Donna and Zoe, and both of them are out. Lisa's busy and Ingrid is still away, so please say you'll meet," she implored.

I hummed for a moment, more for dramatic effect than really considering her offer. "Nice to be the fourth best choice," I mulled and she spluttered.

"Fifth actually. Well it's just..."

I laughed and spoke over the top of her. "Yeah, of course. I'm at a loose end this afternoon anyway. What time?"

"We are leaving now. Can I meet you at the park in twenty minutes?" she asked and I agreed. I asked Abi if she wanted to join us but she declined as she needed to make some alterations or repairs to a small bundle of clothes she had under her arm.

Sarah took closer to thirty minutes when she bounded over and took my hand as I waited on the park gates. I noticed her mother eyeing us as Sarah held out her hand and we walked towards the town centre.

"Mum said she will meet me at the park at five, if that is OK?" she told me and I acknowledged her. "I just need to get some new boots."

"So I've been dragged shoe shopping?" I moaned and Sarah grinned.

"Not quite," she replied and turned into a sports store, going to the back of the shop. She looked through some boots on the display, turning over a black pair of football boots and then looking at a red pair with white stripes.

"What do you want those for?" I asked and she turned to face me grinning.

"To go swimming in, of course." I tutted at her and sat down on the one of the chairs when a female attendant came over to assist. "I like the look of the new Predators" she told the shop assistant. "Do you have them in red in size seven"

The shop assistant disappeared for a minute and then returned with Sarah sat down. She had pulled out a pair of red football socks and put them on and then put on the boots. She couldn't walk in them but waved her feet around and pointed her toes.

"They feel awesome. I'll take them," she said and took them off. "Lovely balance."

"So how much are they?" I asked and Sarah grinned.

"Just over one hundred pounds," she replied and I spluttered. "OK, but they are the best football boots on the market. Beckham and Zidane and ... oh forget it!"

Sarah paid for her ludicrously expensive football boots and we returned to the June sunshine. "So, I presume they aren't just for a kick in the park?" I asked and Sarah smiled. "Football or Rugby?"

"Or Hockey or Lacrosse or..." Sarah needled and I huffed at her. "Football. I am on the Under-17s at Aylesbury Vale."

"Oh right. I didn't know."

"I know. I didn't tell you."

"What else, didn't you tell me?" I asked and she smiled at me.

"A few things."

"Are you sure you don't own an airline?" She sighed and I looked at her. "Like how you can afford over one hundred notes for some boots for a kick about?"

"Do swimmers go swimming without a costume?" She asked and I nodded.

"Might make swimming more interesting if they did," I quipped and she groaned at me.

"Well I need boots to play football and they are the best I can get."

"For a hundred pounds they should score goals themselves," I joked.

"You sound just like my father. And that's scary," Sarah teased and I laughed. "Can we do something for me please?" she pleaded and looked up at me with an expectant stare. "Can we go and feed the ducks?"

I gave a hollow small laugh and Sarah looked at me. "Please?"

"Sure. Haven't you been before?"

She nodded. "But not since I was little."

I did not want to beg for bread for two days on the trot from Ray's mum and instead we stopped off a little corner shop and bought a couple of cheap loaves. Sarah giggled when I did, thinking it was quite comical paying for good bread to feed the ducks but I asked her if she wanted to go and feed them then what else would we feed them with?

Sarah and I sat on the same bench I was on with Abi and we threw the bread into the water for the ducks to fight over. They were not as hungry as when I was with Abi, as the park was fairly busy and I reckoned that they had been well fed in the previous few hours.

Sarah giggled with glee as the geese and then the swans came over to tussle over the crumbs and crusts of the loaves and then we walked up towards the café.

"You should get your boyfriend to take you to Hyde Park," I said as we sat down in the window.

Sarah gave a snigger and gazed out over the park to the pond below. "Chance would be a fine thing," she murmured and I looked at her in surprise. "Yeah, sorry to bring it up but doing this has made me realise that Donna is right."

I looked at her in surprise. "I'm confused. Donna is right because we fed the ducks," I asked her and she sucked in her lips in thought.

"Feeding the ducks. It seems silly, it is such as simple thing to do, a great way to spend time with someone and is relaxing. I wish we would do it."

"We have done it," I said and Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Me and Kev."

"Ahhh," I said, realising what she was talking about. "Well have you talked to him? It can't be that hard to arrange," I replied, not sure where Sarah was taking this conversation.

"No, not yet. I can't bring myself to." Sarah stopped and looked out of the window, focusing on a small child throwing bread at the ducks. "I spoke to Donna about it and she said I should dump him but I dunno. Maybe it's a male thing."

A male thing?" I asked perplexed and Sarah puffed a couple of times in thought.

"OK, umm, maybe you'll understand. You told me 'bout Abi. I see Kev two or three times a month. He often books a hotel for the day so we only ever spend it in bed. I am in the room thirty seconds before he is feeling me up and all he is ever talking about is my body, what I am wearing or not wearing. He is obsessed and I feel cheap. It feels we are just so ... one dimensional"

I nodded and let her continue.

"I do love him but I would enjoy being with him more if half the time we went to feed the ducks in Hyde Park or go shopping or even just a picnic by the river. I've been to London several times recently and barely seen anything other than his cock and the inside of a cheap hotel in the City. I mean there isn't even the flirting or teasing and barely any foreplay. That can't be right, can it?"

I shook my head. "No. I know it's a bit different but Paula was way more important to me as a friend than as a girlfriend. You need to tell him what you are thinking."

"I know I do. I ... I ... I just don't know how. We had a massive argument when I saw him last weekend as I didn't want to spend all day in a hotel room and he said I didn't love him. I mean, he was still going on about it on the phone just before I went bowling. I do love him, and I do like him. We have been dating for over two years and he really is my first love. So I don't want to upset him. It started fine at first, I'd go down with Paul and his girlfriend so we would spend time in each others' company without the sex. And then when we went down alone it was great. The sex was exciting and taboo almost. But it has just become all we do and the friendship isn't there any more..."

" ... and you feel empty?"

She took a long sip of her lemonade and looked back over the park.

"Well maybe that's it. I have my friends for this and my boyfriend for my other needs. I don't know. It just doesn't feel right any more. I think Mum suspects anyway. She was asking me if I was having sex with him the other week."

"And you denied it, of course," I guessed.

"Of course I denied it. Not a conversation I want with her. I never want to talk to her about sex," Sarah replied agitated and quickly, sinking into her chair. "Anyway, you and Abi. Any further?"

I rolled up my trouser leg to reveal the bandage that I peeled back. Sarah squealed and then asked how I came by such an injury. She barely believed me when I told her the story of Abi and the car tyre, and then looked at me forlornly. "I suppose that means you won't be asking her out then," she told me and I shrugged.

"One act of frustration doesn't change what I think about her," I admitted and her face contorted somewhat. "Just as your frustration with your boyfriend doesn't alter what you think, surely?"

"But kicking a big metal wrench at your shins for trying to help her?"

I took a deep breath. "It's irrational, I know. I was annoyed at her, but I wasn't angry. I should have been, I know, but I wasn't. I would have been with just about everyone else, but I wasn't with her. I just don't know."

"Donna's right, you're smitten!" Sarah finished her drink and looked across at the counter. "Those scones look nice" she muttered and the cogs in her brain turned. "You share one with me?"

I dug in my pocket for some change and gave her a couple of coins that she tried to reject but I made her take. She came back with two halves of a scone, topped with jam and then clotted cream.

"I'm going to need to do so much exercise," she moaned and then began to devour her half.

As we left the small café, I held the door open for a young girl with a pram and Sarah's face lit up. "Hiya Anna," she said and peered into the pram. "How are you?"

The girl, who looked as old as me, smiled and greeted Sarah. They exchanged small-talk and Sarah doted over the baby girl in the pram before leaving.

"Brothers ex-girlfriend," Sarah explained and I hesitated for a moment before asking if the baby was related to him. "But they broke up three years ago," Sarah added. "Pity, she is a nice girl. Year above us at College."

We started walking around the park when she spotted Jez, Jodie and a couple of other people she knew with a football on one of the four five-a-side pitches. She gave me a sly and pleading look and I grinned.

"Let me guess, you want to try out your new boots?" I speculated and she nodded.

"Thanks, come on," she said dragging me across the field towards our playing classmates without waiting for a response.

Jez welcomed us as we approached in his own inimitable and unique style. The ground was soft and springy as it had rained a couple of days previous but it was not muddy and was perfectly playable in my trainers. Sarah however, wasted little time in unboxing her new boots and replacing her white ankle socks with her thick red socks and brand-new footwear.

She took a moment to admire her new purchase, crooning over its smooth tongue that went back over the laces and colourful sides.

"Are we going to join them, or are you going to be vain all day?" I asked her and she smirked at me.

"But look at them, they are a work of art."

I held out my hand and pulled her up from the ground. Jez commented on her new footwear as we went up to him and Sarah glowed and boasted as he immediately recognised the boots. As someone who had never got too much satisfaction from material possessions – a trait my mother had instilled in me from a relatively young age – I felt a little bit lost by her love of the hideously expensive boots and her enjoyment in others revelling in her possession of them. She was being self-loving and egocentric, and it was not a trait I felt particularly comfortable with or found attractive.

I ignored Sarah's exultant demeanour and we finally settled down to kick the ball about. When Jez asked whether I played football, and I confessed I did not play very often, which they scoffed at and put me in goal. I did not mind too much as my shin was still a little sore and while I would happily spend hours passing and kicking the ball, I was not going to be as good as people who did play and train regularly and as a result of which had Jez and another boy who I did not recognise, but identified as Paul, as my "defenders."

Sarah's purred with her first touch, on the half-way line, and passed it immediately to Jodie, a few yards away. When Jodie returned it, Sarah drew her right foot back and connected with the ball, it striking the top of the boot by the laces and arcing towards my right viciously.

I stuck a hand out, more in hope than expectation, and the ball smacked against the crossbar with a thunderous smack. It bounced down onto the goal-line and I instinctively wrapped my foot around it and kicked it down the pitch.

Sarah grinned as I did and retrieved the ball from Jodie and dribbled past Jez on the right. Jodie called out for it, and she lofted the ball towards her but Jez's friend kicked the ball up the pitch.

"Love me new boots," Sarah called out and ran back to retrieve the ball.

I was beaten several times over the next 45 minutes, mostly by Sarah who revelled in her new football boots, taking swerving shots from twenty or thirty yards from the goal. When she did not do this, she would happily dribble with the ball and commit the defenders before sliding an inch-perfect pass to her team-mate.

Jez and his friends called time at quarter past four. Jez and Jodie needed to go to their respective homes and everyone but Sarah wanted to call it day. She looked forlornly at Jez, and after failing to coax him to stay for another half-an-hour begged to borrow the football.

Eventually she agreed with Jez to borrow it, as long as Jez could call by my house (without checking with me) the following morning to pick it up. I gave my consent to these arrangements when Sarah pleaded, and then reluctantly passed my address to Jez. Sarah began trying tricks and long-range passes across the pitch with the new boots, cooing and gasping dramatically with every touch.

She was a lot more accurate with her passing than I was, and I watched as she concentrated on every strike of the ball so that it arced perfectly in the air and landed within a few feet of me. By ten to five, she reluctantly put her trainers back on and boxed up her boots.

"I think you're in love," I teased and Sarah grinned.

"They are wonderful boots. Do you think I might need them when we go to the woods?" I rolled my eyes and she laughed. "OK, I'll wear trainers."

We walked around the park for ten minutes and then I waved her goodbye and sauntered back home. I was suddenly intrigued by her admission that all was not well with her boyfriend but I wanted Abi. Sarah was enjoyable company certainly and there was a glow about her that just exuded playfulness, but Abi was mysterious and wonderful.

There was still something very inexplicable about Abi I could not explain and she captured my attention perfectly but then in a weird way so did Sarah. Was I really that sensitive to a bit of harmless flirting? Were my emotions so easy for a girl to snare? Was I really that cheap? I wondered; I had never really seen girls in that way too much before as I always had Paula, but something had been awoken inside of me.

Rhea was in one of her typical moods and taunted me before I had barely reached the lounge about running off to see Sarah. It was going to be a long night, if she was going to keep that up and I put the football next to the television.

Abi disappeared shortly afterwards and only reappeared to go to work with Mum. Mum returned home briefly at 10pm to send an indignant Rhea to bed and to ask me if I was OK. My wound was sore but I had had worse over the years falling off my bike, and I had never had a cuddle from a beautiful girl afterwards.